Author Archives: Anuradha Keshavi

Attention
→ Clouds.

Nourishment is what the soul seeks
A moment of attention to grasp the music
A moment of concentration to sink into the holy name
A moment that unknowingly becomes minutes
Minutes if not hours of being engulfed
Love? Peace? Contentment?
Pale in comparison to – bliss
Bliss of Hari-nama

So dear mind! Why?
Why the mindless clapping with a vacant expression?
Why the trek through mountains of thought?
Allow that music to float across your ears
Once the boat of music enters the shores of your ears
The passenger – the holy name enters the mind
Enters the intelligence
Enters my whole being

All it takes is a moment of attention
Dear dear Gaura, bless my mind
Steady attention is all I ask….

“So this concentration of mind is very difficult in this age because mind is so agitated. Therefore force them to hear Hare Kṛṣṇa. Even they have no mind to hear, you chant loudly Hare Kṛṣṇa. They will hear. Their mind will be dragged. It is so nice thing. He hasn’t got to (chuckling) concentrate. I’ll force him. You see? So as soon as he hears “Kṛṣṇa,” oh, he advances immediately one step.” – Lecture on BG 3.18-30 — Los Angeles, December 30, 1968

First and second loves.
→ Clouds.

It’s funny how everyone here in Damodardesh associate Kirtans with me.

This was the scene in Atlanta:

It is Saturday around 9a.m after the morning program. Time for Mrdanga class with Vedasara.

“Where is Anuradha?”
“She is in the pujari making garlands…”

It is the Sunday feast night and you can see and hear all the smiles and ‘haribols’ going back and forth. It is ‘socializing’ time……that is prasadam time.

“Where is Anuradha”?
“Oh she is on the altar with Madhavi helping her do the evening service”

(Yup, Madhavi always maganged to lure me to help her on the altar even though it was not my day to do evening seva 🙂 ……and i’ll always be grateful for that!)

It is time for the Sunday night kirtans. And I would be scrubbing the altar or putting away necklaces, earrings as Uttam Prabhu drowned everyone in Mayapur mellows 🙂 Oh I would also completely lose myself in UttamPrabhu’s transcendental tunes……but I would be doing so in the pujari room as the holy names waft in through the doors.

(Shhhh….but it also used to be my excuse…. “Can you help us wash these pots?”, “Nope, sorry, have to do the evening arati!” 😀 )

It was quite hard for me in Dubai initially. No temple. No Deities. What seva would I do? Now I realize my immaturity during my ‘depressed’ days. My only solace was turning to my second love – Kirtans.

When I was talking to Mandali recently in Chowpatty, she expressed that one of her realizations when she wasn’t able to do as much deity worship in India, was that it was an opportunity to internalize deity worship. Women can’t be on the altar doing abhishek, but who can stop you offering a manasa abhishek to Krishna?! 🙂

And I realized another aspect of deity worship! What I was doing as my ‘second’ love in Damodardesh was really just another aspect of my first love. So now, I regularly peform deity worship in Damodardesh. I regularly serve the deities – the deities of the holy name. Kirtan is a beautiful way of internalizing worship. Getting absorbed in Kirtan, meditating on his form with the holy name just engulfing you…. Staying in Damodardesh has opened my eyes to another beautiful form of the Lord – his transcendental name….

“Nama-bhajana is not bound by any rule—the holy name is beyond all virtuous acts—He is spiritual—He is virility and luster in a person. All the Vedas have been manifested from this holy name. The holy name is bliss, the holy name is ananda. We can excellently be devoted to Him. The holy name is worship and is to be worshiped; Your feet are to be held in veneration. “

– Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, Hari Nama-cintamani


Kirtaniya sada hari… 🙂

First and second loves.
→ Clouds.

It’s funny how everyone here in Damodardesh associate Kirtans with me.

This was the scene in Atlanta:

It is Saturday around 9a.m after the morning program. Time for Mrdanga class with Vedasara.

“Where is Anuradha?”
“She is in the pujari making garlands…”

It is the Sunday feast night and you can see and hear all the smiles and ‘haribols’ going back and forth. It is ‘socializing’ time……that is prasadam time.

“Where is Anuradha”?
“Oh she is on the altar with Madhavi helping her do the evening service”

(Yup, Madhavi always maganged to lure me to help her on the altar even though it was not my day to do evening seva 🙂 ……and i’ll always be grateful for that!)

It is time for the Sunday night kirtans. And I would be scrubbing the altar or putting away necklaces, earrings as Uttam Prabhu drowned everyone in Mayapur mellows 🙂 Oh I would also completely lose myself in UttamPrabhu’s transcendental tunes……but I would be doing so in the pujari room as the holy names waft in through the doors.

(Shhhh….but it also used to be my excuse…. “Can you help us wash these pots?”, “Nope, sorry, have to do the evening arati!” 😀 )

It was quite hard for me in Dubai initially. No temple. No Deities. What seva would I do? Now I realize my immaturity during my ‘depressed’ days. My only solace was turning to my second love – Kirtans.

When I was talking to Mandali recently in Chowpatty, she expressed that one of her realizations when she wasn’t able to do as much deity worship in India, was that it was an opportunity to internalize deity worship. Women can’t be on the altar doing abhishek, but who can stop you offering a manasa abhishek to Krishna?! 🙂

And I realized another aspect of deity worship! What I was doing as my ‘second’ love in Damodardesh was really just another aspect of my first love. So now, I regularly peform deity worship in Damodardesh. I regularly serve the deities – the deities of the holy name. Kirtan is a beautiful way of internalizing worship. Getting absorbed in Kirtan, meditating on his form with the holy name just engulfing you…. Staying in Damodardesh has opened my eyes to another beautiful form of the Lord – his transcendental name….

“Nama-bhajana is not bound by any rule—the holy name is beyond all virtuous acts—He is spiritual—He is virility and luster in a person. All the Vedas have been manifested from this holy name. The holy name is bliss, the holy name is ananda. We can excellently be devoted to Him. The holy name is worship and is to be worshiped; Your feet are to be held in veneration. “

– Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, Hari Nama-cintamani


Kirtaniya sada hari… 🙂

Forgive!
→ Clouds.

“We brahmanas are worshipable by others only due to our quality of forgiveness. It is through this quality of forgiveness that Lord Brahma has achieved the post of master of the entire universe. The Supreme Personality of Godhead Lord Hari, the remover of obstacles, becomes pleased with those who are forgiving. Forgiveness is illuminating like the sun, and cultivation of this quality is the brahmana’s duty.”

– Srimad Bhagavatam 9.15.39 – 41


You think you have forgiven and forgotten and then the bad taste in your mouth creeps in along with all the memories of unpleasantness and distress. Brahmana? Ha.

Forgive!
→ Clouds.

“We brahmanas are worshipable by others only due to our quality of forgiveness. It is through this quality of forgiveness that Lord Brahma has achieved the post of master of the entire universe. The Supreme Personality of Godhead Lord Hari, the remover of obstacles, becomes pleased with those who are forgiving. Forgiveness is illuminating like the sun, and cultivation of this quality is the brahmana’s duty.”

– Srimad Bhagavatam 9.15.39 – 41


You think you have forgiven and forgotten and then the bad taste in your mouth creeps in along with all the memories of unpleasantness and distress. Brahmana? Ha.

Leisure Pleasure
→ Clouds.

lei·sure: : freedom provided by the cessation of activities; especially : time free from work or duties

I have been missing this little noun for eons now. Finally I’ve caught a hold of this elusive little thing today – today being a holiday for Eid. This is such an interesting definition of leisure. Are we ever free from activity? The very nature of the soul is to be active so where do you draw the line between activities that count as work and activities that count as pleasure? When we engage in activies of pleasure, it becomes leisure.

In yesterday’s program, Yadav prabhu made such beautiful points. He mentioned that one of the Radha raman pujaris from Vrindavan once said that, “Krishna gives himself to us in our old age, if we give him our youth”.

And then I realized how I’m slowly crossing this stage of ‘youth’. After my wedding in December, my day is just going to get busier. I will have officially become an adult with so many responsibilities to juggle. How to juggle? How do I immerse myself in the Lord’s name, pastimes, service with a household to take care of? How am I going to give my youth to Krishna, when I am struggling with paperwork, phonecalls etc from dawn to dusk?

Well, here is where I get lucky 🙂 Even though the world seems to get too big to handle, my day seems filled with meangingless phonecalls and paperwork – offering all this to Krishna makes it seem so much lighter at the end of the day. Leisure? Well, who needs it when you are blissful in your busy day anyway. Trick is to link my meaningless paperwork to Krishna…….well not so successful sometimes, but I’m getting there. It’s going to get easier to do this when I have a half hour of kirtan together with family to look forward to. Or 15 minutes of Bhagavatam reading. And really, the light at the end of the tunnel – Mayapur.

Thank you Nitai. For everything. 🙂

Leisure Pleasure
→ Clouds.

lei·sure: : freedom provided by the cessation of activities; especially : time free from work or duties

I have been missing this little noun for eons now. Finally I’ve caught a hold of this elusive little thing today – today being a holiday for Eid. This is such an interesting definition of leisure. Are we ever free from activity? The very nature of the soul is to be active so where do you draw the line between activities that count as work and activities that count as pleasure? When we engage in activies of pleasure, it becomes leisure.

In yesterday’s program, Yadav prabhu made such beautiful points. He mentioned that one of the Radha raman pujaris from Vrindavan once said that, “Krishna gives himself to us in our old age, if we give him our youth”.

And then I realized how I’m slowly crossing this stage of ‘youth’. After my wedding in December, my day is just going to get busier. I will have officially become an adult with so many responsibilities to juggle. How to juggle? How do I immerse myself in the Lord’s name, pastimes, service with a household to take care of? How am I going to give my youth to Krishna, when I am struggling with paperwork, phonecalls etc from dawn to dusk?

Well, here is where I get lucky 🙂 Even though the world seems to get too big to handle, my day seems filled with meangingless phonecalls and paperwork – offering all this to Krishna makes it seem so much lighter at the end of the day. Leisure? Well, who needs it when you are blissful in your busy day anyway. Trick is to link my meaningless paperwork to Krishna…….well not so successful sometimes, but I’m getting there. It’s going to get easier to do this when I have a half hour of kirtan together with family to look forward to. Or 15 minutes of Bhagavatam reading. And really, the light at the end of the tunnel – Mayapur.

Thank you Nitai. For everything. 🙂

Bedtime insecurities
→ Clouds.

There are a few things about Krishna that just hold me in complete fascination that I just start gushing about my fascinations and discoveries about Krishna’s personality and pastimes to everyone! If you’ve met me and known me for a decent period of time, then you’ve probably heard this from me already.

When Madhavi first told me this on the altar, I just exclaimed ! “How adorable!” So what every Radha Krishna pujari would know and most other devotees would not know is that, the Lord of the Universe, the controller of everything moving and non-moving, THE Supreme personality of Godhead…...sleeps with his flute under his pillow! 🙂

i.e The pujari who puts the deities to sleep at night usually takes Krishna’s flute and keeps it under his pillow physically. I’ve heard a couple of reasons for this but the official ones from Jananivas prabhu are:

1) The flute is sooo dear to Kanha that he does not want to be separated from it since it is with the flute that he controls the gopis

2) The gopis know that with this flute Kanha controls them so they are always looking to steal his flute. He keeps it under his pillow for protection

Endearing!

nadyas tadā tad upadhārya mukunda-gītam āvarta-lakṣita-manobhava-bhagna-vegāḥ ālińgana-sthagitam ūrmi-bhujair murārer gṛhṇanti pāda-yugalaḿ kamalopahārāḥ

“When the rivers hear the flute-song of Krishna, their minds begin to desire Him, and thus the flow of their currents is broken and their waters are agitated, moving around in whirlpools. Then with the arms of their waves the rivers embrace Murari’s lotus feet and, holding on to them, present offerings of lotus flowers.“
– Srimad Bhagavatam 10.21.15

Bedtime insecurities
→ Clouds.

There are a few things about Krishna that just hold me in complete fascination that I just start gushing about my fascinations and discoveries about Krishna’s personality and pastimes to everyone! If you’ve met me and known me for a decent period of time, then you’ve probably heard this from me already.

When Madhavi first told me this on the altar, I just exclaimed ! “How adorable!” So what every Radha Krishna pujari would know and most other devotees would not know is that, the Lord of the Universe, the controller of everything moving and non-moving, THE Supreme personality of Godhead…...sleeps with his flute under his pillow! 🙂

i.e The pujari who puts the deities to sleep at night usually takes Krishna’s flute and keeps it under his pillow physically. I’ve heard a couple of reasons for this but the official ones from Jananivas prabhu are:

1) The flute is sooo dear to Kanha that he does not want to be separated from it since it is with the flute that he controls the gopis

2) The gopis know that with this flute Kanha controls them so they are always looking to steal his flute. He keeps it under his pillow for protection

Endearing!

nadyas tadā tad upadhārya mukunda-gītam āvarta-lakṣita-manobhava-bhagna-vegāḥ ālińgana-sthagitam ūrmi-bhujair murārer gṛhṇanti pāda-yugalaḿ kamalopahārāḥ

“When the rivers hear the flute-song of Krishna, their minds begin to desire Him, and thus the flow of their currents is broken and their waters are agitated, moving around in whirlpools. Then with the arms of their waves the rivers embrace Murari’s lotus feet and, holding on to them, present offerings of lotus flowers.“
– Srimad Bhagavatam 10.21.15