Author Archives: Candidasa dasa, UK

re-Slaughter interview
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I have to give a PhD progress report presentation every year. My end-of-second-year interview was last week. It went quite badly. I was allowed to continue (if only because it is very rare that someone is thrown out after their second year), but the panel did not think I would be able to succeed in an actual PhD viva examination.

My presentation was fine; however I didn??(TM)t handle the questions very well. Example:

Professor: why didn??(TM)t you address transactions in your system?
Me: [look of puzzlement]
Me: why would you need transactions?
Prof: you are doing a database-like locking system, all these kinds of systems have transactions.
Me: what do you mean with transaction exactly?
Prof: two-phase commit, that kind of thing. Surely you know about it?!
Me: transactions aren??(TM)t relevant in this case.
Prof: no, no, I think they are.
Me: my locking does not require transactions.
Prof: all this kinds of systems use transactions, you should have addressed them!
Me: okay, I??(TM)ll look into transactions, but I still don??(TM)t think they are relevant in this case
Prof: ah ha, you haven??(TM)t read the literature. You are far too focused on your particular subject area. A good PhD student learns to not solve just one problem, but abstracts away and finds the general scientific contribution. A second year PhD student should have a firm grasp of all the relevant literature; it is worrying that you don??(TM)t even understand what a transaction is. Furthermore ??¦

[50 minutes later]

Other professor: we??(TM)ve been going for some time already. Maybe we could wrap this up.
Prof: okay, well, good luck with your final year.

What went wrong?

  1. I wasn??(TM)t confident enough in my presentation. One professor commented that my talk was very timid. Indeed, my personality is not very brash or aggressive. I need to be far more assertive.
  2. I??(TM)m not very good at thinking on my feet. I was under pressure, in stuffy lecture room with four professors just waiting to jump on top of me. My brain could not think very clearly.
  3. I made my presentation too simple. They audience thought they understood exactly what I was doing, when the reality was somewhat more complicated. I should have bewildered them with something so complicated that they would have no hope of understanding any of it and therefore think it was some great research. That way no one can ask any difficult questions.
  4. I admitted I might be wrong. Someone told me afterwards to never do that: I must never admit that I??(TM)m wrong, even when I know that I most certainly am. The whole point is to defend my work, nothing else. Never surrender!

Personally, I find it incredibly difficult to cling to a bad idea, just for the sake of it. I mean: it??(TM)s a bad idea, why on earth should I continue to entertain it? Is this how academics should be trained? To be stubborn and uncompromising? No wonder the world is in such a bad state.

When I was first applying for this PhD research one professor told me: “I don??(TM)t think you have what it takes to swim with the sharks.” I didn??(TM)t understand what she meant at the time. Now I know ??¦ and, quite frankly, I??(TM)m not sure ??¦

Vedicsoc: session #14 desire
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6 people attended this week??(TM)s Vedicsoc session. Two new people came because of seeing a poster (probably just to disprove my statement about posters not working from last week).

One of the newcomers (obviously dragged along by her friend) was quite bored throughout the session. Chanting the Maha-Mantra she seemed completely uninterested and lack-luster. The other guest was more enthusiastic about trying this “meditation stuff”, smiling ear to ear.

Then however, when it came time for the discussion, things changed somewhat. I spoke about desire. Or, that is to say, I asked the audience questions and let them speak about desire injecting to occasional comment, clarifying the occasional statement and giving hints like: “you know, in Bhagavad-Gita it says this ??¦”

Both new guests were cynical of anything that smelled ever so slightly of the most evil eight-letter word: religion. Not being as expert as my spiritual master I failed to effectively counter some of the folk notions they were expressing. For example:

What??(TM)s wrong with desire? Sure, there are some bad desires, but most of our desires are for good stuff like relationships and success. Why would you want to control them?

(please: if any of the more expert readers of this blog like to comment?)

I made some Tahini Oat cookies for the session (hint: they come out a lot better looking with a nice smoothly textured surface if one forms them into balls with wet hands instead of simply dropping spoonfuls of the batter onto baking sheet).

A large amount of cookies were left over and this remainder was literarily devoured by my office colleagues when I offered it to them on the next day. It seems the combination of golden syrup, cinnamon, tahini and sesame seeds tastes a bit like pork (I didn??(TM)t try them because of my health, so I would not know). My peers kept asking me: “Did you put pork in these cookies?” while reaching for a new cookie every few minutes. “They taste great, but really, no pork?!”

They proceeded to joke about perhaps becoming pigs in their next lives. Mikel admitted to already having a pig-like consciousness and loving it.

Ah, prasadam working its magic ??” though perhaps in a slightly unconventional way.

Divyavani news: King Kamsa of Mathura ??oethe worst of tyrants,?? United Demigods say
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(by Jayadvaita Swami – Copyright 2005 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust. www.Krishna.com)

NEW YORK Among alleged tyrants and oppressors, the one the United Demigods now regard as the worst is King Kamsa of Mathura, according to confidential documents made available on Monday to DNS. ??oeHe rules his kingdom with a cruel and brutal hand, he has an extensive and growing network of powerful allies, and his ambitions are global,?? the documents say. ??oeThere??(TM)s no limit to what territory and resources he wants, or what methods he??(TM)ll employ to gain control of them.??

Kamsa??(TM)s kingdom, Mathura, is located in north central India, midway between Delhi and Agra, the site of the Taj Mahal. Mathura is the name of both the kingdom and its capital. Kamsa belongs to what is known as the Bhoja dynasty, one of several royal dynasties that rule the area.

Kamsa??(TM)s father, Ugrasena, is known for having been a righteous and dutiful ruler. But Kamsa, the documents say, is just the opposite.

In Delhi, government officials declined to comment. The government is reluctant to say anything, a source close to the government said, lest Kamsa turn his anger on Delhi itself.

Divyavani news: ‘United Demigods’ may be quietly preparing for Vishnu initiative
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(by Jayadvaita Swami – Copyright 2005 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust. www.Krishna.com)

NEW YORK Since a delegation of demigods received assurances of support from Lord Vishnu some days ago, political observers say the demigods have become quietly but increasingly active in laying the groundwork for opposition to allegedly repressive and exploitive political regimes. The coalition of demigods has become known as the United Demigods.

??oeThe demigods just can??(TM)t bear to stand by and watch cheaters and thugs in the name of political leaders run roughshod over the earth,?? said a U.D. spokesman, Prakash Sattwa. ??oeThe earth isn??(TM)t ours,?? he said. ??oeIt belongs to God. We all have a right to live here and take as much as we need??”but not to grab more and call it ours.??

The demigods are believed to be quietly taking up strategic positions in various parts of the world, apparently in preparation for some sort of initiative by Lord Vishnu. Some observers have suggested that Lord Vishnu??(TM)s brother may also get involved. Mr. Sattwa declined to comment on such reports.

But speaking more generally, Mr. Sattwa was blunt. The nations of the world have become like thieves, he said. ??oeThey steal everything they can from the earth,?? he said, ??oeand then they fight over it.?? And then the thieves get together and have a peace talk or a summit conference about how to divide things fairly, Mr. Sattwa said. ??oeThieves dividing piously.??

The U.S. State Department and the British Foreign Office both declined comment, as did the foreign-affairs offices of twenty other nations contacted by DNS.