How science and God go together as mechanical and personal explanations of reality
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How to live at the junction of order and chaos – Learning from Dasharatha’s destiny
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If we keep doing something that we had resolved to give up, what to do?
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Bhagavatam tenth canto study 61 – 10.11.1-9 Vrajavasis doubt Krishna’s supernatural power, but don’t disbelieve it
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If we can’t go to heaven in human bodies, how do some kings like Dasharatha fight for the gods in heaven?
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Bhagavatam tenth canto study 60 – 10.11.10-18 By giving to Krishna, even if we appear to be losers, we are still gainers
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How temptation attacks visibly and invisibly – Lessons from Indrajita’s attack on Rama-Lakshmana
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For chanting, why are Tulsi beads recommended?
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If Brahma is the creator of the universe, from where did the lotus on which he was born come?
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Relationships flourish by sharing, not by dominating – Rama Lakshmana interactions
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Understanding difficult pastimes such as Rama’s banishing Sita
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[Ramayana series 3, Talk at New Goloka, Hillsborough, USA]
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If the author is not present in the book, how is Valmiki present in Ramayana?
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Bhagavatam tenth canto study 59 – 10.10.36-43 The Lord grants not just physical mobility but also spiritual mobility
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Bhagavatam tenth canto study 58 – 10.10.28-35 Though God has a body, he is not limited by or to his body
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Why spiritual life matters – Talk to teenagers
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Head in the sky, feet on the ground – balancing our aspirations with our actions
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How do we realize that Krishna consciousness is like 5 million dollars and worldly things are like 5 dollars
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From individualism to individuality – Are people innately good or innately bad?
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Bhagavatam tenth canto study 57 – 10.10.23-27 Krishna honors the promise of his devotees
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Understanding the six stages of anartha nivrutti or inner purification – 2
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Understanding the six stages of anartha nivrutti or inner purification – 1
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Perfectionism is a serial killer in high heels
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How can we work with difficult people?
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Bhagavatam tenth canto study 56 – 10.10.15-22 Narada curses to cure the cause of the misbehavior, not just to punish the misbehavior
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Bhagavad Gita Chapters 15-18 Overview
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4 principles for improving relationships – Daksha-Sati pastime analysis
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Bhagavad Gita Chapters 13-14 Overview
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Relationships flourish by sharing, not by dominating – Rama Lakshmana interactions
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7 purposes of ISKCON explained
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7 purposes of ISKCON explained
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How can we suffer insufferable people?
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How can we overcome the faultfinding tendency?
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Transcription :

Transcriber: Dr Suresh Gupta

Edited by: Sharan Shetty

Question: How can we overcome fault-finding tendency?

Answer: Every tendency has a black and a white side. Sometimes, where proper standards must be maintained then noting the fault with the intention of helping is not a problem. But when there is a habitual tendency to fault-finding where a person tends to see only the fault, then such attitude reduces other person’s self-esteem. However, the glory of bhakti is that everything can be used in devotional service. That is why, as interesting as it may sound, if at all there is some strong fault-finding tendency, we could use the same to find faults with the fault-finding tendencies!

Everybody has faults. Once during a workshop with devotees, I was talking about tolerance. We discussed that although being in spiritual life, we have to tolerate many things. A devotee replied that among the things that we have to tolerate, devotees are one of them. Indeed, we have to tolerate each other as all of us have defects. But we realise that just as we are tolerating devotees, they are also tolerating us. Thus, all of us have faults and different people have different faults. We should ask ourselves – how would I feel if somebody keeps finding faults within me?

The most important thing that is required for anyone to persevere on spiritual path is encouragement, appreciation, kind words. If we continuously find faults, then we dishearten people. Sometimes a person may already be burdened by many things in their lives and in that state if someone finds faults in them, they will find it unbearable. However, if at all we have to find faults to correct someone so that they follow a particular standard, then we have to do it in a very sensitive way.

One of the best parameters for understanding whether we have the adhikar or the authority to find fault, is to check our own reactions to it. If we get joy in finding faults, then it means we are not purely motivated. We may pretend to speak politely but something in our tone will reveal to the other person that we find joy in finding faults. Even a subconscious glee on the face signalling you caught the other person makes them feel alienated. The purpose behind fault fining should always be to help the other person.

Another tendency is where, as soon as we notice the faults, we immediately point it out. We should understand that sometimes it may not be the right time to speak it. In general, before evaluating someone’s deficient behaviour, we need to validate them first. With sincere intention and friendly approach, we make them feel that this not a rejection or a judgement. A relationship where there is trust that the other person is my well-wisher then even if they feel evaluated at some other aspect, they will not feel too bad about it. In general, in our interactions, appreciation should be more than criticism.

Some people may have a […]

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How can we deal with life’s dualities?
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Transcription :

Transcriber: Sharan

Question: How can we deal with life’s dualities?

Answer: Lord Krishna says in Bhagavad-gita 5.20:

na praharsyet priyam prapya, na udvijet prapya ca apriyam
sthira-buddhih asammudhah, brahma-vit brahmani sthitah

(A person who neither rejoices upon achieving something pleasant nor laments upon obtaining something unpleasant, who is self-intelligent, who is not bewildered, and who knows the science of God is already situated in transcendence)

Do not become elated when there is happiness and do not become dejected when there is distress.

It is interesting to note that Krishna is not saying – do not feel happiness or distress. Distress and happiness will come, and one will have to experience those. Sometimes good and sometimes bad will happen. We cannot blind ourselves to this material reality, but we should not become elated in happiness and should not become dejected in distress. We can do so by not denying the duality but by focusing on the spiritual reality or supreme brahman.

Ultimately, the supreme brahman is Krishna. When we study spiritual knowledge and practise bhakti-yoga, we start connecting with Krishna. Metaphorically speaking, we can consider connection and absorption in Krishna as a five-million-dollar gain. Let me explain.

Consider a man is walking on a road to meet his ancestor, who has passed down five million dollars to him in inheritance. The condition is that he has to reach there within a particular time or else the money will be given to the government. While walking down the road, this man finds a five-dollar bill which he tries to pick up. But as soon as he tries to do that, the bill starts flying away in a different direction. The more he tries, the farther it flies. If the man keeps chasing the five-dollar bill then he will lose the five-million-dollar inheritance. In a slightly different situation, consider the same man walking down the road already having a five-dollar bill in his pocket. Suddenly a thief comes and grabs that five-dollar bill but is luckily stopped by the man. If this man gets busy arguing and fighting with the thief, again he may lose the five-million-dollar inheritance.

Similarly, for us, life’s pleasures are like the five-dollar gain and life’s distresses are like the five-dollar loss. However, our devotion and absorption in Krishna is like the five-million-dollar gain.

Bhagavad-gita 6.22 says:
yam labdhva ca aparam labham, manyate na adhikam tataḥ
yasmin sthito na duḥkhena, guruṇapi vicalyate

(Upon gaining this he thinks there is no greater gain. Being situated in such a position, one is never shaken, even in the midst of greatest difficulty)

About 20-25 years ago when I was introduced to bhakti-yoga, this verse really inspired me very much to focus on Krishna consciousness.

This is the state of spiritual absorption and its characteristic is that if you achieve it, you will not long for anything else. Achieving this will free you from craving for anything more and even if great distress comes, it will not disturb. It will free you from lamentation.

There may be many things important to us but […]

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How can we deal with angry people?
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Transcription :

Transcriber: Sharan

Question: How can we deal with angry people?

Answer: When dealing with angry people, we need to understand two underlying motivations for anger: (i) is it due to person’s weakness or (ii) is it due to person’s wickedness.
Weakness is something that we all have. When there is an urge to become angry, it empowers us, due to which we do something that we later regret. When anger is due to weakness, we apologise, feel bad about it and acknowledge it was wrong.

We have our conscience and intelligence. Conscience tells us in an emotional way that we should not be angry because later we will feel guilty. Intelligence tells us in a rational way as to why we should not be angry. These are two inner checks that stop us from acting angrily. However, due to wickedness, the conscience is muted and instead of controlling the anger the intelligence is controlled by the anger.

Weakness makes us hot-headed whereas wickedness makes us cold-blooded. When a person is cold-blooded, he makes a systematic diabolic plan to hurt the other person in the most painful way. Anger is basically like a hot emotion whereas hatred is cold, manipulative and calculative. Generally, most people around us are not wicked. The range may vary from weakness being the most common and wickedness being exceptions.

To give forgiveness to wicked is foolishness. What will happen if a group of terrorists, who are on a rampage killing innocent people beg for forgiveness when ambushed by police and the police forgives them? Terrorists will ultimately kill the policemen mercilessly. When somebody is at the extreme edge of wickedness, then strong action has to be taken against them. A wicked person may not even feel any wrongdoing. We need to maintain a safe distance from such people. If needed, we should take strong action against them.

On a routine basis, if we see people getting angry, best is to help them deal with their anger. We can do so by (i) separating the person from their problematic behaviour (ii) avoid labelling them e.g. “short-tempered”, “hot-headed” etc. If we label them, we reduce them to their problematic behaviour. Eventually, we and they end up being an antagonist and consider ourselves a victim who has to hit back at his aggressor.

At a practical level, we may have to deal with it in an appropriate way but internally we see the person separate from their anartha. One way of dealing would be to know the triggers of the other person and try as much as possible avoiding those triggers. When we drive on a road for the first time, we may be jolted by an unnoticed speed bump. However, next time, we will drive carefully on the same road and will be able to avoid the bump. Once bitten twice shy.

Similarly, when we observe people and try to understand what triggers anger in them, it will help us avoid doing anything that will provoke them. […]

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How can we become determined like Hanuman?
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Question: How can we become determined like Hanuman?
Answer: We u…

How can we be humble without appearing weak?
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How can we balance between overthinking about other people’s actions and being thoughtful?
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How can living in the present be reconciled with having an optimistic attitude?
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How are faith and knowledge related – how is faith in the dharmic tradition differnt from faith in Christianity?
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Maintaining faith on the spiritual path 1 – Bhakti is not all-or-nothing
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For self-control, should we just focus on chosing our desires or should we also chose our situations?
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