Author Archives: Karnamrita

BLESSED BY SPRING’S INSPIRATION and my poem, LISTENING FOR SPRING: Stepping outside this morning around sunrise was so lovely, enlivening. The “spring thing” feeling in the air, subtle, yet palpable, encouraging me with thoughts of possibilities and new beginnings. Cool temps stimulate, yet hint at approaching warmness. The sun seems especially bright after yesterday’s dark clouds and torrential downpours.

That special morning spring light shining off the dew, with new grass and other tiny excited plants coming up. A few trees just begin to show their small intense green leaves, while most are still sleeping, but telling us they know their time is coming soon. The first robins showed up two weeks ago, while the crows come daily for leftover prasad.

In a hurry, running off to work, you might miss it, or if you did sense it, you could easily forget about it in the stress of the day. Krishna’s or God’s Material Nature—his “separated energy” no less—is so amazing. As I have written about before, living in the country can really change one and give a new awareness, like the wonder of sight after being blind. One slows down, or at least that happened to me, as I have never been a passionate person—as I shared yesterday, in good and problematic ways.

However, today, I am stressing the positive aspect of the mode/quality/energy of goodness which colors one’s perception, as would the other “gunas,” of ignorance and passion.

read more

WE SHOW WHAT WE LOVE BY WHAT WE GIVE OUR ATTENTION TO and WHAT WE LOVE IS WHO WE BECOME: Truth is simple, yet profound. Please join me in thinking about and unpacking these truths in a practical way. I find a number of applications both in a negative and positive sense. The idea that we demonstrate what we love by what we give attention to is another way of explaining the law of attraction, of which the ultimate purpose and expression of, is the principle behind meditation and the goals of bhakti. Another way of saying this is that what we focus on increases in power, or as Emerson taught, “We become what we think about all day long.”

If you feel that what you’re giving your main attention to isn’t what you really love, then you need to make some adjustments in your life so you CAN give attention to what you truly love. Just like some people say they love God, or their spouse, children, or family, but don’t give them any time or energy. As it is said, “Love is as love does.” We only have so much energy or power of focus, so we have to use it judiciously with the knowledge that we become what we are absorbed in and giving most of our energy to. Is our outer life congruent with our inner one? For many of us, our work is in this kind of honest introspection, for it holds the key to being all we are capable of, and reveals what we are here to do.

read more

WHO WILL BE CROWNED KING?

Discontent, depression, disconnection,
or dissatisfaction, are our friends
if we take them as messengers
to help us to change course
pushing us to leave our comfort
zone and get off the couch,
to be uncomfortable to strive
more than merely survive.

This is such a common theme,
(for me) but sharing’s still important
as many on a spiritual path,
or those who strive for excellence
confront obstacles to realizing
their goals and life mission
so please don’t mind my repetition,
only think if it can help you rise up.

read more

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

FEAST OR FAMINE FOR MANY FACILITIES OR PREFERRED ACTIONS: These days I am in somewhat of a famine, or at least some restriction,…

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

MAKING MARRIED LIFE AN ASHRAM THROUGH THROUGH WORSHIP OF THE FORM OF KRISHNA, SAINTS, AND THE HOLY NAME: I devoted a previous bl…

There is no perfect time or place,
so if we wait, we will never accomplish,
or sing the song our heart vibrates to
meant to nourish every cell in our body.

To breathe out, one only has to breathe in,
but we can’t hold our breath forever;
so begin today while you are still breathing
because there are no tomorrows or could-bes.

Only a string of nows, do-days giving potential
at least one step of progress on the miles ahead
though even a step back can help us go forward

read more

All of the material existence, the universes, outer space, galaxies, stars, planetary systems, planets, continents, countries, cities, and everyone’s body, are all on fire. In worldly consciousness, our illusory task is to deny this fire at every turn, or recognizing the fire partially, to create structures to protect us from being burned, keeping that fire “over there,” overseas, or in another neighborhood, and not in our view. However, as much as our societies, elders, and parents are trying to reassure us that there is nothing to worry about, we find clues everywhere about this all-consuming fire, if we can read the signs. We can’t combat what we deny.

Great devotees come to this world to warn everyone about the fire that is consuming all physical life and every aspect of the material world. Religions are begun around such saintly speakers of cutting truth to reveal the fire, but in course of time, religions also become deniers of the fire, or they teach people how to work with the fire so they can be happy with it until they die with the promise of going to heaven, which is just another type of fire–not giving the real solution.

We can fight this fire with a different type of fire. Though we can’t stop the material world from burning, since everything material is meant to change, transform, and eventually burn to ashes, we can fight the fever of material existence with the transcendent cooling firepower of life-giving divine wisdom and spiritual practice.

read more

SELF-ABSORPTION isn’t thought of favorably and generally means to be excessively concerned with one’s own life and interests without taking into consideration other people. Some synonyms are egoism, self-centeredness, narcissism, self-importance, self-preoccupation, etc. However, in my thinking this morning while chanting, which is the attempt to “hear” God in his holy names, or become absorbed in the Supreme Self, we need to be self-absorbed in the sense of becoming aware of those parts of ourselves that need to be adjusted and purified. When we are chanting or praying we become aware of our highest ideals and our various types of material interests, or even our lowest worldly desires.

Prabhupada has compared chanting the holy name to making ghee. In ghee making, we boil butter, and must work to skim off the “impurities” or milk solids which rise to the surface. Then we will be able to create clarified butter, or ghee, which has so many medicinal properties and uses. This is an interesting analogy which can help us in our daily spiritual practice.

We can think of our spiritual practices, like chanting the holy name, as the cleansing fire, that is meant to burn up the impurities or material contaminations. If we except to go anywhere spiritually we have to keep turning on the fire of purification through the nine processes of bhakti, especially hearing and chanting, so we can remember who we actually are as sparks of Divinity imbued with the serving nature, beyond material changeable designations.

To go beyond superficial appearances we must dig deep to what we may not want to look at, to uncover our conditioned, or “naked” self, free from colored pretenses, either thinking we are great or are nothing. In spiritual life we must understand where we are, and where we aspire to go.

read more

I am entering the mood of preparing for my talk a week from Friday, on the 20th. This means for me, hours of chanting, prayer, deep contemplation and writing, in order to be as prepared as possible to say what is most essential for the audience who might attend. I always keep high ideals! The presence of my listeners is a gift for me since they bring me to higher levels of being, knowing and loving in devotion. Though I am responsible for what I bring to any discussion, the audience is considered at least 50 % of the equation, as their mood affects the speaker, either expanding or contracting the possibilities.

We give who we are, so I have to prepare myself to be on the highest, most compassionate, and loving platform, to manifest vital, life-giving wisdom, practical and transcendent. Though I am always praying to be my most empowered spiritual self, speaking to others gives me more urgency to be all I can be to serve and uplift. This is beneficial for me, as well as whoever listens with an open heart. Meditating on this mood with the prayer to share is exciting, and I very rarely use that word!

I’m endeavoring and praying to be open to receive much more than ordinary materialistic, limited thinking might deem possible. Then I may reach high to be a spiritual possibility thinker, or spiritually and miraculously minded, by connecting to the higher spiritual realms, and be guided by my seen and unseen spiritual benefactors and teachers. As we shower with water to cleanse our body, I am meditating on being more deeply cleansed through the divine Light shower of the holy names, prayer, and the serving mood in bhakti, offered to our Deities, and ideally put into everything I do, with whoever I am with.

read more

Examining my life and studying the endeavors of the young and old, I find this energy or push to find one’s calling, one’s “authentic” or real self, one of primary motivators in life. If we are thoughtful and blessed this should tell us something, as does the fact that our life goes through stages, is of short duration, and seems to be always threatened by non-existence. Behind everything is a message and lesson to learn. We can learn to listen or dull this urge through the endless distractions that are offered by modern society.

If we were a body we would be happy just to exist and live, yet we find that no one can just live without this search for identity, or someway to designate themselves. We can’t just be zero. If we are simple minded we won’t spend too much time or energy on this. We’ll just identify with our body, village, culture, religion, and follow our parents’ or peer’s ideas. If we more sophisticated or have some spiritual bend of mind, we’ll make the time to stop and contemplate the existential questions of the ages and sages.

We may search out guidance from the world’s religious or spiritual literature and those who live it by them. Then we may discover that our search for worldly identity hints at the true quest of life, self-realization to uncover our soul, or animating principle of life, the real “I” or “me,” spiritual identity, who is part of something much greater, our Source. This could be seen as the all-pervading undifferentiated “Brahman” or “Clear (or White) Light,” or as the Supreme Being, God, the originator of all energies and spiritual aspects and conceptions, who we are part of and meant to serve. For some, matter seems all there is, and birth and death ends in nothingness.

read more

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

JOYFULLY BEING ALONE: This topic is an extension of a frequent topic of mine, dealing with it on a daily basis, where I extol th…

Like many people who engage in creative pursuits, I tend to have high expectations for my writing, which I have frequently expressed in blogs. I know, I know, I write about it too much, forgive me, but I think about it every day and whenever I write or teach.

As I chant and worship, I meditate and pray for uplifting spiritual power that flows through me in loving compassion and wisdom to be expressed through my speaking and writing. While I know it is there to some extent, I see being able to inspire people to take to spiritual practice, or devotees to revitalize their practice, as a natural outcome of sadhana, and personally, as a result of facing death. To me this is a win/win situation, good for me, and good for those who resonate with what I share. I will explain how knowing this about me may be of us to you–or why would I write it?

I share it because doing so inspires me by helping me keep my spiritual focus—when I write or chant I feel spiritually connected—with the prayer that you may also nurture high spiritual aspirations. For so many years I was busy in bhakti but didn’t really have high spiritual aspiration as offered in our tradition, nor did I pray for them. I stalled accordingly and hope by this sharing that you will seek to understand the goal of bhakti and appreciate its value to pray for it with feeling. Ours is a path of grace–we endeavor or serve to attract grace.

So, what about you—what are your spiritual goals that you pine for, regardless of where you are on the spiritual path? Keeping this in mind and understanding its inestimable value is crucial for keeping on the path, not just casually, but with heart, for our whole lives—lest we give up in despair or hopelessness.

read more

[Adapted from a FB blog from Dec. 22 2014] Every person has a story to tell, internal guidance to listen to, help to give, and wisdom to share. I write not because I think I am great or gifted, but because I am trying to listen, or put into words the feelings I’m impelled to write. I need to express myself to try to pay back the blessings I have been given. My prayer is that whoever may read my words will also be touched in some way, and we will all benefit. As we give so we receive.

Even though I am not always successful in my attempts to inspire, I know that if I keep making the endeavor, fueled by prayer, I can be of helpful service. Our emotions can guide us in particular contexts if we let them. For instance, for me, I have a strong feeling of discomfort if I don’t do something I should—like writing.

When I close my eyes I feel like I am on the shore of a vast ocean of wisdom and my attempt to share it is like taking a thimble of water (my capacity to access it) and trying to put that into words by the power of grace. In general I just write and don’t get writer’s block even when working on a specific topic. I am confident that what I will be able to write about whatever topic I have chosen, though that may take some time. Still, not all my writing is inspired, and some of it is better than others. However, that is partially due to my not being in the correct state of mind, or being able to really listen with my heart and soul.

I used to primarily post quotes, verses, or parts of my guru’s words on my FB page since I know that has value, and yet, I also realize that I need to have a platform to share—as they say—”my truth,” or that which I am inspired by, or have understood from what I have read, heard or thought about.

read more

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

[reposted from 12-24-16
and revised 7-3-18]
Who are we really—
beyond w…

Although anger sometimes has a positive use in motivating us to act or to fight for a righteous cause (like Arjuna and Hanuman) and give protection to the oppressed, anger is an energy that is usually criticized since it frequently has negative consequences. We are urged in Bhagavad Gita to control our anger, lest it get out of control and cause us to act in ways we may later regret. In the Bhagavatam’s account of Dhruva Maharaja. After he became king when his brother was killed by a yaksha, although he had heard from Lord Vishnu that his death was inevitable, Dhruva still became angry and killed many yaksha warriors unnecessarily, until he heard spiritual philosophy from Manu.

Because Dhruva was a great soul, he could also give up his anger in the face of reason and Vedic wisdom. We saw in Shrila Prabhupada that he would sometimes become angry to instruct someone to change, but that anger never stayed for long, and the incident that caused his anger would generally not be mentioned again. We find that many people are not able to do this and may get some secondary gain from remaining angry.

For example, in psychology the appearance of frequent anger in a person can alert us to look deeper to find the underlying causes or emotional wounds we would rather not look at or want to feel, like feeling worthless or ashamed of our past. In such an unfortunately mentality anger seems more desirable and motivating that our low self-concept.

read more

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED: There are primarily two underlying forces in the universe indiscernible by ordinary sensual or modern scientific observation, namely the forces of karma (selfish exploitation of matter), and the force of bhakti (selfless loving service to God). That which is greater than us can’t be understood by force, but only by loving service. When you love someone or the Source of everything, they will be open to reveal all their secrets. There are many, many ways people have spoken about these two forces—or levels of understanding and their implications—according to their belief systems and goal of their lives.

One way of speaking about karma and bhakti is what the personified Vedas state in the 10th Canto of Shrimad Bhagavatam that there are two purposes of the material world: facilities for the living entity to enjoy their senses and mind in unlimited varieties, facilitated by new opportunities thru re-births and deaths to try again, and the higher facility for liberation through realizing one’s spiritual nature and the source of real happiness within. Ultimately, in its highest reach, my understanding is that this culminates in bhakti or loving devotion to various forms of God, for Gaudiya Vaishnavas, Radha and Krishna, or Shri Chaitanya and Nitai, etc. We are sparks of divinity meant to live in relationship to it and under its shelter.

In the lower stages of bhakti we are continually confronted, at times assaulted or harassed it can seem, with the choice to follow the ways of the world through material enjoyment or to engage in acts favorable for spiritual advancement in bhakti. We can call these two endeavors, the path of darkness and bondage, or the path of light and liberation.

read more

IMPOSSIBLE DREAM? Some people think that the existence of the soul and God, what to speak of a relationship between them, is delusional and unproductive. Others may doubt that one can have a spiritual practice to understand them, or that the Ultimate Unlimited Absolute is personal in its highest aspect, what to speak of being Krishna. Or those on the path of bhakti for many decades may doubt that they can make much advancement in this lifetime, but hope against hope for a miracle at the time of death. We find in the world so many opinions, some well-reasoned, others full of emotionalism, negative, positive, regretful, or so many combinations that may dissuade one from spiritual practice or the determination to give one’s whole being, heart and soul.

Sometimes well-meaning friends, family, or those brothers and sisters on our bhakti path who are disillusioned with fallen leaders or their guru, can be our worst advisors or critics. Some people never heal from their painful past traumas, betrayal, or disappointments, and remain looking backward, and not to true empowering possibilities. As the saying goes, misery enjoys company. How much such opinions affect us depends on our mind’s orientation to react or respond based on how much spiritual experience or faith in our path we have, or haven’t.

As I have shared before, despite appearances to some, I am one of those devotees who has lived as a casual, or “religious” devotee (which means just doing the basics and not really fully applying oneself to the process both internally and externally), for most of my decades of practice, and in fact I have this as my general default setting—which I would wager is true for many older devotees. I share this as a warning for younger devotees and a possible wake-up call for those devotees in old or pre-old age.

read more

Feeling unusually sober and contemplative, I wrote a rough poem today about how I feel after reading two devotee memoirs, as I think about compiling my own. While I will share it after this introduction, I have so much more to say, to properly convey, all I am feeling today. I continue to contemplate death as as a motivating meditation to live today, and to endeavor to have no possessive attachment weights, that if not addressed, will propel me to work out issues with others in future lives; too many times I have examined my life up to this point and all that I use to define myself, which seem like sand castles, the blowing wind, morphing clouds, crashing ocean waves.

We generally identify as ourselves as our thoughts, feelings, and what we contemplate such as our desires—desires for things, relationships, or experiences, and also our bodily identity of race, ethnicity or the color of our skin, gender or sexual orientation, our family of origin and the one we have created, and memories of past experiences and their principle players or actors. I find it fascinating, though disconcerting to understand how fleeting and temporary these self-concepts are, being only a disguise or transitory covering for our soul, or our real self, consciousness, the observer and animator of matter.

read more

The nature of the material world is change and transformation or as the Gita teaches us, the world is “endlessly mutable.” Accordingly, in physically conditioned life, which covers our soul, our body and mental states change, other people change, our life situation and the greater conditions of the material world change and go through cycles and stages. As a result of such changes we have to recommit and sometimes renegotiate our relationships to others, ourselves, and to bhakti, many times in our lifetime.

If we don’t voluntarily change or fight against conditions we have no control over, we will likely be forced to change because nothing stays the same, however much we drag our feet and resist. While this is a natural process, materially speaking, having to change can be disconcerting especially when we are set in our ways or have identified material conditions as who we are, and the underlying and foundational fact that the soul (who we are), or our animating consciousness, being eternal, wants permanence and doesn’t relate well to changing conditions which seem foreign.

While those who are Gaudiya Vaishnavas, or in fact anyone engaged in some kind of spiritual practice to realize their soul, even if they are grounded in deep spiritual philosophy of the nature of matter and spirit, will also struggle with the changing conditions within and without to the degree

read more

When I was a new devotees it seemed like our spiritual advancement was like a rocket going straight and fast to our spiritual destination, and surely in a few years we would board that spiritual flower airplane piloted by the best of devotees, and go “back home, back to Godhead.” However, after some years my shiny, fast, roller blades become covered in thick, heavy mud and what had at first seemed like a full throttle race to the finish line turned into a slippery crawl, where sometimes I seemed to be going nowhere, or even sliding helplessly backwards down the rocky, dusty hill with no footing or holds.

Reading that Shrila Bhaktivinoda Thakur has sometimes referred to spiritual advancement in bhakti as the “zigzag path,” has normalized my ups and downs in spiritual life, helping me to understand my difficulties, or starts, stops, and reverses not as a personal anomaly but as natural for every seeker. When we are on the ground, we have to rise up with the help of the ground, so this is my attempt to stand and go forward aided with the staff of mercy, prayer, and knowledge.

read more

[Reposted from 8-22-2011] Respectful obeisances to Prabhupada, and all his disciples, and granddisciples—who are the future of the Krishna consciousness movement.

(I have adopted many of the words I shared on his disappearance day last year for this occasion, as they are sill of pressing importance to me, and repetition is the mother of learning.) On the appearance day of one’s guru it is customary to present an offering of glorification to one’s guru, and the process given by him or her. It may be directly expressed to the guru, and/or also addressed to the general audience. After the disappearance of one’s guru—or any founder of a religion or sect—many different conceptions of the guru and their teachings arise. This is an inevitable and unavoidable occurrence, and while one may favor their personal understanding, one can also do their best to understand the feelings and realizations of others, in the mood of diversity within the oneness of service to Prabhupada and Lord Chaitanya.

The fact that there are many different ideas as to the essential teachings of our guru can make it difficult to express one’s heart—at least it is for me. Never the less, I will try to express something to honor Prabhupada along with my personal reflections about my relationship to him, and some realizations I have gleaned from my personal experience. I pray for the generosity, magnanimity, and blessings of my audience.

read more

I can’t believe it has been a month since I posted. Time flies when you are busy. Part of the reason I haven’t posted is that readership is down on my blog, which could be for so many reasons. While I am not discouraged in my life in general, I was from posting here. Unfortunately I tend to take this personally as I put so much of my self in my writing and my sharing is very autobiographical. Regardless, this is a good exercise in not being attached to the results and remembering the mood of giving service to Krishna, my gurus, and the Vaishnavas–and regardless, I still have to write, so I might as well keep posting here.

So much as happened in my life, and so many different emotional states, in those 4 weeks and a day! After I finished my 31 day bodily cleanse of my various organs I felt disassociated from life and had to regroup and recommit to my life mission–which is the subject of this short blog poem–and my wife and I helped facilitate the Grihastha Vision Team 4th Annual Couple’s Retreat in Gita-nagari PA. I wrote and thought a great deal about my life, and the value of keeping death in mind. I realize I’ve already written a lot about it, but as I share in this poem, my tendency is to forget the urgency of my spiritual life, in my case, when my health seems to be getting better.

I must continually remember that I will die
perhaps today or tomorrow, but soon
because if I forget this truth
I return to complacency and the easy life—
this has happened to me, yet again…alas!!

I must recommit to spiritual life, continually.
Otherwise I may die distraught and resentful
which I have been shown by cancer’s mercy.

read more

THE MIRACLE OF FORGIVENESS: Much has been written in spiritually themed literature, Vedic scriptures and Prabhupada’s translations, and personal growth/self-help books about forgiveness. As a young person and devotee I had no idea how important forgiveness could be. It was only after years of introspection and prayer that I personally understood how important it was for me to forgive important persons in my life and myself.

The topic came up in my reading of the last few days, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts about it. I have done much work with forgiveness—with my parents, for how I was raised, and for myself, for my many personal failings and what I should or should not have done. I looked at all my significant relationships in as much honesty as possible, and also considered that I may have some anger toward Krishna, and my guru, Shrila Prabhupada.

I did find some anger toward Prabhupada and I had a long talk with him to uncover it, and let it go. I have written somewhere about my, in contemporary terms, gestalt type conversation with him. Whatever it may be called, to me it was a very real talk before the Prabhupada murti in Berkeley almost 30 years ago. Before him, I shared and examined my anger and doubts, and I received a simple though compellingly powerful answer to my angst with his physical disappearance.

read more

MY PRESSING QUESTIONS IN LIFE: Examining my heart, how are my material attachments still impeding my full practice of bhakti, or causing me to remain a mixed devotee? What do I want in my heart of hearts, and how is that causing me to act, or not act? In deep honesty, what truly moves and inspires me? As a result, what do I actually want to be absorbed in, demonstrated by my consistent thoughts and actions? What types of people I do think about or are attracted to in my daily life? Who do I want to become now, and forever? Knowing I will die, today or tomorrow, what must I give up, and what must I adopt to make my life a true success?

Having an ordinary materialistic upbringing until I was 19 years old I was still blessed with spiritual practices for many years. However, I have recently noted that I developed a cavalier attitude that I was “saved” and in the back to Godhead program. Being forced to face death has brought to light honest introspect of what is my true shelter. I have found that the old conditioned voices run deep below the surface of my consciousness. At present, those voices are much more prominent than I have dared admit, like an old disease I have a natural tendency for, when the conditions are right—like herpes.

I have found that I have been too willing to accommodate, or compromise with my materialistic tendencies rather than truly root them out. Now, praying to move beyond my complacency and comfort, I realize I can’t keep feeding the causes of my embodiment. Seeing my conditioned nature, I must keep casting those tendencies away which are unhelpful for my real life of spiritual progress, seeing them as ugly degrading darkness, and not to be simply tolerated. In my understanding this is what we devotees have signed up for, right—not the life of ease? I don’t want to only remember my spiritual connection when convenient, or to either get out of a jam, or obtain some desirable object.

read more

Celebrating the holy day of Krishna’s appearance in this world five thousand years, or Shri Krishna Janmastami, is one of the many “high holidays” (to borrow from Judaism) which devotees of Krishna observe. What is known today as Hinduism includes what is called Gaudiya Vaishnavism, or the bhakti (devotional) movement inaugurated by Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, which Krishna.com represents. My spiritual master, Shrila Prabhupada, wasn’t fond of the word Hinduism since it is an imposed term created by those not familiar with the tradition and is a word not found in any Vedic literature.

Be that as it may, for the sake of convenience, we sometimes say we are part of the very diverse and inclusive Hindu tradition of India. Irrespective of the various Hindu theologies, all sects of Hinduism celebrate Janmastami as an important day, and glorify Krishna in various ways. Whether they think he is one of the many Hindu gods, or that the Ultimate Truth is “The One,” or the formless, impersonal Brahman source energy, they still glorify him as the wise speaker of the Bhagavad Gita, and are charmed by his depiction in the Shrimad Bhagavatam as a carefree cowherd who lived an idyllic life amidst the simplicity and beauty of Nature, surrounded by those who loved him.

This evening we read from the Krishna Book, and discussed some of Krishna’s pastimes surrounding his so-called “birth” in the world. I was reminded of watching how excited Prabhupada was when he was presented with advanced copies of the Krishna Book during the 1970 Rathayatra, and how he personally sold and signed copies. I also remembered our routine of reading “Nectar of Devotion” and “Krishna Book” while we sipped hot milk and ate popcorn. I never doubted—what to some people are fantastic stories—but felt more and more connected to Krishna by hearing his pastimes. When I think of it, my attitude was truly amazing and shows my open and innocent heart as a very young, tender 19 year old. I had only been a devotee a short time, and yet hearing about Krishna was so faith building. I was still basking on the energy from my spiritual existential search and felt no need to question the teaching.

Krishna’s lila or pastimes are inconceivable and can’t be understood with material logic alone.

read more

After a rather depressing day yesterday for reasons that we needn’t get into, I woke up this morning feeling much better, with the resolve that I would pray to Krishna from now on to either heal me, or kill me, physically speaking of course, since there is no death for the soul. In a way the status of my cancer, namely not getting worse or better, is a metaphor for how I see my life—mediocre, and that just isn’t acceptable any more. I am called to physically, mentally, and emotionally leave my comfort zone, and do what I must.

We are admonished in the Bible to be either hot or cold, but not half-baked. I have been half-baked, with some notable exceptions, about most things my whole life. If I am going to continue to write, speak, travel, minister and help others, than I have to really do it, and by the grace of my gurus and Gaura Nitai, excel at it, or make my best effort and prayers to that effect.

As a number of motivational speakers have discovered and shared, “Reasons come first, answers some second.” Thus I have to have the proper motivation to write, speak, and help others, and then Krishna and his agents will help me find the ways to practically manifest it. I don’t have to know how, just that I must.

Therefore I am going to spend every day chanting, praying, and doing self-healing. I have studied for years in the past and spent thousands of dollars studying healing methods, and even practicing them, but never feeling strong enough about them to really pursue them. So now I have to use them or lose my current physical self.

read more

Life in the material world is difficult and challenging to everyone apparently to different degrees. While we may see in the world great misery and take some consolation that ours are much less, still, initially in the thick of our personal misery, we are still effected and challenged to keep our positivity. Can we use our distressful situation as a negative impetus for spiritual practice? In other words, human life is favorable for spiritual practice when we understand its glaring shortcomings and thus use them to our spiritual advantage. Prabhupada taught us to “make the best of a bad bargain.”

Whether we are able to remain positive even amidst difficulties depends on our personality type, general attitude toward life, and spiritual development, which such small or large misery brings to light. We are called to improve ourselves through the crucible laboratory of suffering or pain. What does our reaction teach us about ourselves and the nature of the world we live in?

Yesterday began very early for me waking up at 11:30 PM unable to sleep with some stomach complications. I am still fine tuning my cancer recovery diet and overdid it with the evening meal. I wasn’t in pain, but just discomfort and angst at not being able to sleep and wondering how that might affect the next day. I made the best of it and read for a few hours.

I have been taking my temperature at different times and have noticed it varies at different times of the day. Perhaps it is the case with all vegetarians but my wife and I both have a low body temperature (what about you other vegetarians out there?) compared to what is considered to be “normal,” or 98.6—mine is usually 97.8 or so, though in the morning it can be as low as 96ish. However, in the middle of this stomach upset I had a fever and a temp of 100.

read more

As I prepared last week to give a Sunday class in Hillsborough (video at the end of this blog), along with researching and thinking of the topic of levels of secrets (from the most mundane to the most sublime) I also contemplated the topic of speaking to others from our Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition. The archetypal “class” is Maharaja Parikshit being instructed by Shri Shukadeva Goswami. Both of them have special qualifications being pure devotees of Krishna, and yet the whole class was fueled by the urgent necessity of Parikshit Maharaja, since he was cursed to die in seven days, and sought the best way to use his remaining time.

According to Shrila Visvanath Chakravarti Thakur, of the three types of people benefited by talks about Krishna—the questioner, the hearer, and the speaker—the speaker is the most benefited. Never the less, without the ardent interest, fueled by an urgent necessity, to hear, the speaker won’t be as motivated to speak. In the Shrimad Bhagavatam, which records the conversation between these two great souls, Shukadeva frequently glorifies the questions of his student being enlivened at the opportunity to speak about that which he has such feelings for.

Therefore, as exemplified by this conversation, as well as in many scriptures including the Bhagavad-gita, both speaker and listener have responsibilities. For example, being advanced devotees with the urgency to speak and hear helps make the conversations an inspired one, and takes it to new heights of spirituality and insightfulness. While we may not be on the level of such high devotees, we can none the less be as reverential, attentive and prayerful as possible, whether we are speaker or listener, and be mindful of the sublimity of the process we are following.

Otherwise, out of our familiarity with the process of attending or giving a class, we may minimize its benefit and have a material vision of what it’s about. If we become complacent in our spiritual lives we may skip the class or think it is just for new people. However, if we truly realize our perilous situation in the material world and have an urgent necessity to make spiritual advancement we will do as much as possible to make spiritual progress.

read more

The Origin of Secrets and their Reflection in the World

I am finding the subject of secrets very rich, deep and important. The existence of secrets is all-pervading, and it all begins in the spiritual world, where its true purpose is to facilitate the loving pastimes of Krishna and his devotees. For example, Krishna’s relationship with Radha and the gopis, while suspected by a few, is a secret kept from Krishna’s parents, which intensifies their love and the passion of their meeting. The fear of separation and being found out intensifies the emotions and value of being with one another. Everything in that world is according to Krishna’s desire, even those who appear to create so-called impediments to Krishna’s secret love rendezvous with his greatest lovers.

The distorted reflection of these secrets is found in the tabloids or in rumors and secrets of movie stars and other famous people. Every person has some secret they don’t want others to know, as do families, communities, nations, religious groups or institutions, and ruling powers in any organization or government. Keeping secrets is the business of the false ego which thinks of friends and enemies and endeavors to protect our false sense of material identity from harm or criticism. We also criticize others to protect our secrets and divert attention from ourselves.

In this world there are ordinary, special, and the greatest secrets of all, as hinted about in the Bhagavad Gita, and then expanded upon in the Shrimad Bhagavatam and Chaitanya Charitamrita. While the most secret and confidential knowledge of Krishna’s Godhood and the means to obtain him need to be the basis of our lives, there are other secrets, the ignorance of, or lack of application of, create many problems in our ordinary lives and in spiritual practices. We might know these secrets in theory and yet not apply them in our own lives. One of the most important secrets is widely known, though often difficult to apply, and revolves around our relationship with ourselves.

read more

THE IMPORTANCE OF OPPOSITION AND LIFE REVERSES: In the lives of great persons there is always opposition and apparent road blocks in accomplishing their goals or mission in life. Whether through another person, an accident, their own body or mind, or some natural disturbance, what appears on the surface to be an impediment is passed through and the glory of the person is revealed.

Practically we can see that great success in any undertaking or field is not accomplished without passing through many setbacks and even failure. In the personal growth or success literature such perseverance and determination in the face of what seem insurmountable odds are part of any great person’s story.

In Christianity we have Judas who betrayed Christ but was actually a facilitator of his mission to sacrifice his life to benefit others. Haridas Thakur being whipped in 21 market places, or being tempted by a prostitute sent by a envious person, only added to his glory as the great teacher of the holy name.

Without the atrocities of Hiranyakashipu, Prahlad’s glories would not have been revealed, and we would have never heard of him. Dhurva Maharaja’s step mother forbidding him to be favored by his father helped him realize the strength of his determination and his eventual favor by the Lord. What would have happened if Krishnadas Kaviraja, the author of Chaitanya Charitamrita, had not left his brother’s home? Without the devastating rains sent be Indra, Krishna would have had no necessity to lift Govardhan Hill.

read more

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

PRAYING FOR BETTER RELATIONSHIPS AND HEALING OUR HEART: Yesterday we celebrated the disappearance of Shrila Bhaktivinoda Thakur …

Yesterday I had another PET or full body scan. I rose around my usual time but had to be especially focused on finishing my morning duties before I had to leave at 7: 15 AM. Thus I chanted my japa, or my morning meditation on the names of God, first thing, read for a few minutes, and jumped into the shower. Donning devotional attire and tilak I went downstairs to wake the Deities with official prayers, and then offering my prayers for the day and my life—to offer it for the best service possible and to benefit as many people as possible.

I began my morning worship of my shilas and all our Deities. Preparing their breakfast and then offering my Lords their bath, arotik, and food offering, I removed the worship paraphernalia and offering trays from the altar and washed everything. I packed up what was now Prasad, or sanctified food, since I had to fast from food and drink. Then I packed all the herbal remedies, potions and pills, and changed into my regular dress. I packed my computer, iPod for listening to lectures, and books to read and distribute. Saying goodbye to my wife and making my last prayers to our Deities that they may accompany and guide me, I was out the door and on the road, on time.

Driving can be a time for listening to lectures and contemplate what I hear, and also a time for deep thought about my life, and life and death in general. We are bombarded with reminders of the four fold miseries (re-birth, old age, disease, and death) on the Net and throughout our day. I am supposed to be happy that the US Air-force killed 250 ISIS fighters, and sad with the unfortunate death of 50 persons at a night club in Florida.

What about all the bugs my car kills on my windshield or grill, or the many animals or “roadkill” splattered on the side or in the middle of the road? Down the road GMO corn is grown, while the bee, song bird and frog populations are diminishing as Roundup poisons go into the groundwater and forests are made into paper. Problems are everywhere.

read more

Part 1 FINDING OUR MATERIAL SELVES TO HELP US FIND OUR SPIRITUAL SELF: I have thought and written much about what it takes to stay the course in bhakti for our whole life, as well as to how not to settle into a comfortable religious life not intensely focused on making spiritual advancement. They are related subjects though usually spoken of separately. I am thinking mostly about what kind of unique guidance should be provided devotees of different ages, needs, and personality types.

Everyone is best served by tailor-made guidance which takes into consideration a person’s age, years of spiritual practice, material necessity and nature, and all-around maturity. I bring up the topic because most of us didn’t receive this type of guidance and suffered accordingly. I am challenged to succinctly present this in the bite size form of a blog, as there are so many aspects to consider, so please take this as food for thought to be expanded upon.

When I and those of my generation lived in ashrams during our young and inexperienced years some of us just plugged into the bhakti process without really understanding our nature and if we could live primarily spiritually focused for the long haul. To learn how to center our lives totally on active seva is valuable, though it’s often unsustainable due to our surfacing desires and conditioning. This should be made clear to every new devotee, so they don’t feel guilty if they have to leave the ashram, or need to address some pressing concern in their marriage.

read more

THE SEARCH FOR POWER AND DISCOVERING ITS REAL SOURCE: In addition to the ultimate life lesson that we are incompatible with matter and need to be in a spiritual environment to realize our true fulfillment and source of power, we also have to deal with our relative life issues. They need to be sorted out so we won’t be distracted and drained by them. From my perspective and experience, this work is favorable for bhakti, and is part of being a balanced human being with the ability to give our whole heart to bhakti. I realize that many of my recent blogs have a similar theme, the reason being that these topics are so important to understand. I see the great need for this inner work to be accomplished for all, and I am also engaged in it. I consider helping those involved in bhakti or interested in spiritual life part of my life’s mission. I pray that you seriously think about what I write about here. So please bear with the repetition as I bring up new points each time.

Otherwise, our failure to uncover and work through our life lessons and unhealthy conditioning keeps us spiritually stuck. We see too many examples of this, I think because there has not been enough emphasis on exactly how to do this work, which is really “anartha-nivritti,” since unhealthy, reactionary, unexamined habits, cause us to not hear our inner guidance or deal properly with others with the tendency for aparadha and offensive chanting.

Many of our karmic issues are highlighted by our family of origin. It’s worthwhile to reflect on this, especially when we become aware of dysfunctional and troubling patterns in our life that bring us distress in relationships, complicate making our particular contribution, and feeling satisfied with the direction of our lives. The excuse that sometimes comes up in therapy that “this is just the way I am,” is a very poor justification for bad judgment and unkind or aggressive behavior.

While we all have particular personality types, certain learned survival behavior is not helpful for our progressive life, being kind, loving, and compassion persons, and realizing our full potential. Sometimes a major crisis or illness is required to help us examine our lives and how we are required to change.

We will ideally feel that the stakes in remaining the same are too high, and we must rise up or remain miserable. This is currently happening to me, and also happened many years ago, when at thirty I was compelled to understand my conditioned nature and my life work—I had no idea what a long road this would be!

read more

I love to write and am doing my best to speak more. Regardless of how inspiring or insightful I may, or may not, be, if my words don’t inspire the audience or readers to take practical action, the benefit will be very brief. Have you ever been to a seminar, workshop, or class, or read a book, where you felt very inspired, only to have it fade because you didn’t put into practice what you heard? I know I have!

Many people know what their problems are, but are unwilling, or don’t believe it is possible for them, to do the difficult work of change and transformation. Or there may be too much secondary gain for staying the same, regardless of their unhappiness or dissatisfaction. We may wear our past wounds like a badge of honor, hoping to get sympathy strokes from others, as in “woe, is me.” Being creatures of habit the thought of change, even positive, beneficial change, is challenging for most people, even if they are currently miserable, and think they “should” change—maybe tomorrow, or that faraway place in the ocean, “Someday Isle.”

What we currently have, or are as a person, is a known reality, but if we change our situation or environment, that is unknown, and takes a leap of faith to embrace. However, we should know that leading a successful life in either the material or spiritual realm requires us to change for the better. As it is said, there isn’t much different between a rut and a grave—only two sides.

read more

LOVE, LEARN, PRAY, GIVE, ACCEPT, RELEASE, LET GO, CELEBRATE: I often think about how to express the most important aspects of life that can most benefit us all. The following is one perspective and attempt to do this. We begin by sensing that love is our nature and that which we most hanker for. When we discover that our capacity to love in this world, and the capacity for others to accept the amount of love we are capable of giving, is limited and ultimately unsatisfying, we can begin our quest to realize our spiritual nature as beings of eternity, wisdom, and love.

We discover that the fulfillment we seek is only possible when our spiritual nature is gradually awakened, since this nature is who we truly are. There are many stages of this divine awakening which will be promoted by those who seek the goal their path offers. According to the bhakti Vedic scriptures, the highest stage is when our loving propensity and full consciousness is reposed on the Supreme Original Person, God, or Krishna.

When we love Krishna, then we always know what to do. This is true learning and practical wisdom. Krishna teaches in chapter 15 of his Bhagavad Gita, that when we know Krishna as the Supreme Original Person, without doubting, then we know everything that is necessary.

In our endeavor to learn to love Krishna (bhakti) we learn that prayer—through chanting the holy name, reciting prayers in the scripture and by great devotees, and our personal prayers—is our connection to God and leads us to serving and remembering him. We also learn that by serving, loving, and giving to others in the spirit of service to Krishna, we grow spiritually and help others as well (para-upakara). We can’t separate Krishna from his devotees.

read more

SEEING CANCER AS A MESSENGER, NOT AS THE ENEMY: As it is said, don’t shoot the messenger, but hear the message. Cancer is an effect of something much deeper and primal, pointing to something beyond it. In the alternative cancer treatment world they say that we aren’t sick because we have cancer, but we have cancer because we are sick, or we have a compromised immune system. Exactly why we do is a question for deep contemplation and prayer for the ability to be completely honest and open to hear something uncomfortable about ourselves.

I have mentioned that I see any disease as having a physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual aspect or reason for its existence. However, to me the spiritual reason is really at the root, and without dealing with the root of any problem it will keep returning. If you have ever had a boil and not gotten out the root or core, you know what I am talking about. The Shrimad Bhagavatam gives the analogy of bamboo: if only the visible part is burned down (as with jnana), the plant will return, since its roots are still in place (which will only be eradicated with the power of bhakti). This perspective can also be applied to any disease or problem in our life. Only dealing with the effects, or visible symptoms, as often done with modern medicine, will only be temporarily helpful, if at all.

I am addressing the physical aspect by diet, pranayam, exercise, and herbal treatments, and see the mental/emotional as relating to the spiritual root of my cancer. I have a secondary tumor in the lymph node, near the 5th or throat chakra, with the primary tumor in back of the nose, close to the 6th or third eye chakra. From my introspective and prayerful investigation of myself, I have to speak and communicate more (5th chakra) my inspiration of essential truth (6th chakra).

read more

I am feeling very enlivened this morning because as I was studying the seven main chakras, some realizations came to me regarding my life, and current health challenge. These realizations, which are fine tuning, or refinements, of ideas I have been thinking, speaking, and writing about for a long time, unlocked an inner door that touched my heart with more and more practical understanding about my life (the “aha” factor). I think these ideas could be helpful for you as well—at least I share it with you with that hope. Conceptions that we may believe in a general sense are always abstract until they are applied and demonstrated in our own lives.

Whatever we struggle with in regards to our relationships, family, occupation, state of mind, attitude, or spiritual practice, are feedback that these challenges are life lessons shouting at us: “Pay attention here! You are required to be understood them and correct these imbalances or difficulties in your life.” We live in a purposeful universe, and thus every situation and every person in our lives or whom we may encounter are there for a very good reason. There are no accidents, and those events, people, or states of mind that we struggle with or want to avoid, sometimes thinking they are the enemy, hold the key to our personal happiness and fulfillment.

My visiting friend, Mr. Cancer, is located in the 5th chakra, and between my 5th and 6th chakra. The 5th chakra, located in the throat area revolves around our will power to decide, or have the courage, to follow our guidance about our life purpose or highest potential. When we are off track with our life purpose, or the life intentions for action we made before coming into this life, we tend to negatively react to situations or people prompting us to wake up or remind us of this purpose with fear or with what is convenient, rather than by the courage and determination to do what we are meant to do.

read more

The Gita teaches us that the soul’s amazing!
Though when I am trying to get up
I don’t feel very amazing.
It’s 20 before 3 in the morning—
I should get up before the alarm rings.
It’s 5 before 3 in the morning—
I should get up like I say I want to.
The alarm annoyingly rings at 3:15 am.
I want to leap out of bed like I used to,
though I’d rather sleep more.

I throw off the covers.
When I bow down to Prabhupada
I want to sleep, but I can’t, I must arise.
Feeling tired and not very amazing
I still push myself up, helped by the wood chest.
Walking to the toilet to relieve myself,
I say, “At least I’m up before 4 am.”

Back in my room I fold my bedding
thinking that even in my foggy condition
being alive and trying to wake up is amazing!

read more

Today, how shall we give
and whom shall we love?
Count the ways to be thankful.
First, decide to be happy.
Think of the reasons why not,
remembering that happiness
is a moment by moment choice
just as sadness is a question of focus.

Why give more reasons
to be unhappy than happy?
Why wait to be happy
till achieving some goal,
or lament what you don’t have
when you can happily achieve
or even fail temporarily
learning valuable lessons?
Tomorrow we get to try again!

The above reflection is for anyone,
but if you are a bhakti practitioner
we can add to the mix, the goal of Krishna.

read more