Author Archives: Karnamrita

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

The following blog was one of my very early ones I posted in 2007, which I included in my book, Give to Live. I post it again b…

Lord Nrisimhadeva’s divine appearance day celebration is certainly one of my favorite occasions, and I am sure I am not alone in this. Our Christian friends are fond of quoting the Bible that “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life,” [John 3.16] and we could also say that God so loved his pure devotee in the world that he personally descended to give him all protection.

To this day devotees feel protected by this form of Krishna and pray to him to slay their “anarthas” or unwanted habits of thinking and acting, just as the Lord slayed Hiryanakashipu, the tormentor of his devotee, Shri Prahlad. While Gaudiya Vaishnavas can agree to having great faith in one’s particular agent of Divinity or conception of God—even thinking their path and face of God is the best—Vedic scriptures point to a more inclusive God that reciprocates according to one’s faith, and doesn’t condone fanaticism or war in the name of faith. There is only one God, though like a gem with many facets, the one God has unlimited expansions. “As they surrender to me, I proportionally reciprocate with them.” [Bhagavad Gita 4.11]

The “one path” to be celebrated would be pure devotion and not merely the externals of worship or which name of God one favors which, unfortunately, religionists fight over. How God reciprocates with those who worship him is expressed in many different forms in the religious world and to different degrees of purity. This is to be celebrated as the mercy of the Lord and the types of devotion that exist.

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The topic of why I write and how my cancer diagnosis was the fuel to my publishing my new free verse poem book, My Yoga of Expression, serves as in introduction to the book, and my hope to give you sufficient reason to obtain your own copy. I aim to give support and encouragement to those involved in bhakti, as well as to introduce seekers to new possibilities for their spiritual search:

Ten years after taking up the path of bhakti, at 30 years old, I was given a journal. Over the next 20 years I regularly wrote about myself and events I was confronting. As a child, I learned to be a very shut down or emotionally unavailable person as a defense against my raging alcoholic father. While the misery I experienced growing up was part of the catalyst for my spiritual search, I still would have to deal with it and become at peace with my past. I couldn’t flush my history as I wanted to or just ignore it, thinking I would be able to transcend the world and its demands in a short time of hearing and chanting.

That would come later, but when I lived as a brahmacari monk for nine years, I dressed my disengagement from life and who I was as a person in the clothes of detachment and self-effacing humility. At the same time, those formative years of service and the spiritual reciprocation I experienced doing “emergency devotional service” as a pujari and cook, became the spiritual bedrock for my later life, enabling me to not be completely lost during the turbulent days after the departure of my guru, Shrila Prabhupada.

As I matured as a person this placid persona—which was actually a way to wall myself off from life and relationships—no longer worked for me. As a result of this realization, for the first time in my life, I was impelled to understand who I was in my body and mind—before that I was consumed with my spiritual quest. I gradually realized that to fully embrace the spiritual I had to use my conditioned nature to its fullest and most empowered expression, rather than deny or repress it.

I discovered that by writing I uncovered a new honesty and a self-reflection process that introduced me to who I was as a person behind my indifferent façade. I found myself to have a great intensity full of feelings that needed to be expressed beyond my easygoing personality.

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT? I have thought about and discussed this general idea many times, yet to me, it is always super essenti…

WHO IS THE PERSON YOU THINK YOU ARE, AND DO YOU ASPIRE TO IMPROVE?; NATURE VERSUS NURTURE, OR KARMA VERSUS FREE WILL?: At this point in my life I am doing my best to really understand what is true and what we can all do to be the best person possible, both on the human and spiritual level.

I know what it is like to either focus on the spiritual in theory while neglecting the material, as well as those whose total emphasis is on material progress, often at the cost of the environment and any possibility of spiritual growth and factoring God into their lives—and everything in-between. I have personal experience and life is full of teachers who model that which is to be avoided, and a few who model the ideal in various arenas, to varying degrees.

Spiritual growth isn’t about denying our material needs, and material life can’t be perfected without a relationship to God. We have to become masters of ourselves and our attitude and in creating a positive self-image that is realistic and full of promise, and incorporate this in relationship to making spiritual progress.

Many people have a very low opinion of themselves—almost everyone who comes for counseling—or they can hide this fact by showing an inflated sense of whom they actually are. In my view our character is everything, or how we walk our talk, or live what we speak and profess as our ideal.

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LIVING SPIRITUAL PRACTICE AND OUR SPIRITUAL RESPONSIBILITY: Living spiritual practice means that we experience how Krishna consciousness works in our personal lives. It means knowing what we’re inspired by, and that we’re able to both determine and admit where we fall short—otherwise, how can we be helped? Then we have to believe, or pray to develop the faith, that we can change for the better—because we aren’t our past or poor opinion of ourselves—and are valuable and lovable as souls—spiritual positive self-esteem.

Knowing that we need help and encouragement, and being willing to ask—and pray—for it, is a big step in a successful and joyful life. As it is commonly said, “The Lord helps those who help themselves.” We need to gradually take 100 % responsibility for our lives and yet be open to Krishna’s guidance and see the results of our endeavors as feedback. We both endeavor and pray. We act as if everything depends on us, while knowing that everything depends on the Lord’s mercy.

Our spiritual responsibility is to act with, or pray to act with, faith, devotion, determination, and confidence without attachment to the results, which we know come from Krishna. Practice with prayer makes perfect. Whatever results come we see as, and offer to, Krishna—if we do so we obtain, in Krishna’s words, “unadulterated peace” [BG 5.12]. “In all activities just depend upon Me and work always under My protection. In such devotional service, be fully conscious of Me.” [BG 18.57]

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(reposted from 4-14-16)
I saw the grim reaper in my dream,
feeling no fear, I was curious to see him.
Coming near, he pointed his bony, pale hand toward me.
His other palm raised in blessing pose
where it was written, the number 65—my age!
Then with both hands, he pointed to the sky, and shrugged.

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[ A note written a week later from publishing this: I find it fascinating to understand why certain blogs are favored over others. It remains a mystery to me. I think that sometimes I am misunderstood as favoring a casual approach to bhakti. I am not. I am promoting pure devotional service, being fully engaged in our bhakti practices, and aspiring for the highest stages of prema. However, speaking from my long experience and observation of others, I am stressing that devotees shouldn’t neglect or repress their physical/emotional requirements in the name of spiritual advancement. I have seen too many devotees leave on account of this extreme position.

Thus when I write, I also speak with a certain caution, that although we should stretch ourselves, we should be careful not to break, or go beyond our limits, and his requires considerable maturity–and sometimes we may even attract a certain disease, to force us to slow down and also do our personal inner work. As I mentioned in other blogs, giving and receiving must go on simultaneously, or we will often “burn out.” I just want to be very clear and I hope you will think about why I write as I do.]
WAITING FOR ETERNITY WE FORGET TO LIVE TODAY: When I was a new devotee I often reflected that within a few years that special flower airplane would take me back to Godhead, and so I had no worries. Ten years later I realized my thinking was wishful and I had to deal with living in the world. Gaudiya Vaishnavism, or living with a consciousness or remembrance of Krishna, isn’t life denying but life affirming. In the beginning we may be overly anxious to get out of the material world to the extent that aren’t able to be present and aware of our life lessons and what is required for the long haul of a life time of service.

For those who came to this path of bhakti in great distress, having bottomed out materially, our personal necessities take a while to embrace because we are able to put them on hold to facilitate our spiritual practices, and then we may continue to be more more comfortable denying, than facing, them. In such a condition we relish hearing how bad the material world is, which confirms that we aren’t crazy for experiencing our distress, frustration, or depression in what appears to be a pointless, miserable world. However, there are two side to sharing our spiritual lives–one is the shortcomings of material life, and two, the bliss of devotional service and chanting the holy name. Both are important and have to be embraced in a balanced, mature way, depending on our stage of life.

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THE POWER OF QUESTIONS and MEDITATION ON WHO WE THINK WE ARE: A natural process for me, almost like breathing, is my daily and frequent contemplation to question myself as to what I am truly absorbed in, focused on, and desire more than anything else, and also my aspirations and highest ideals, or what I want to be absorbed in, and become.( My prayer life is full of sharing this with Krishna, and praying for the empowerment to best serve others by who I am, and who I am becoming.)

The answers to such questions are essential to understand as it tells us who we are, and what we are becoming, in this life and beyond. There are so many ways to say this from many spiritual traditions and also in the Success literature of our time. To me, this is one of the many benefits of facing inevitable death of the body, either today, or tomorrow. Here is a short free verse rambling from last year which expresses this:

What do you believe about your self
and what do you actually have faith in—
that is so much a part of you
it’s invisible, hidden, yet constant
like the air you breathe?
You hardly perceive it
but it’s your sense of self
that gives you a life attitude
like the scent of your body
which life, people and dogs can smell.

It follows you everywhere
like your shadow
determining how you think
what you give energy to by attention.
Coloring your outlook
it’s what you project onto life

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Part 1: I wrote about the topic last night, and this morning during my reading and chanting, I gained insight and some clarity. One point is that within a problem is always the solution, if we don’t try too hard. Sometimes we have to let the answer come in its own time and take the time to be quiet, calm, relaxed, and wait with positive expectancy.

For example, leaves fall in autumn when they are ready. The bulbs flower in the late winter when it is their time. The baby in the womb is born when it’s ready. Every one of us has their own process of becoming, acting or just being.

Part of a successful life is just finding one’s natural direction, and being able to accept what is now, not thinking we can force outcomes by our will. We still endeavor, but in our own way. For me, “my way,” is gentle determination after having decided on a goal.

I’m not an official warrior, and yet, I find the energy and fixed purpose of the warrior attractive, perhaps because in the past I was such a timid, tepid, tentative, indifferent person. This nature has appeared to be a problem to be struggled against, but now it seems to hold the key to accomplishing my life’s work!

I am attracted to the hero’s quest to obtain the sacred object or save the world, or superheroes that continually save the day. How can I use this inspiration according to my nature? What about your nature–how can you use this to help your spiritual life?

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THE IMPORTANCE OF COMBINING “HORIZONTAL” GROWTH WITH “VERTICAL,” OR SPIRITUAL, GROWTH: Much of what I write about could be called “horizontal” growth, or tools, thinking processes, angles of vision, or making the mind our friend, that while in of themselves are not counted as bhakti, they’re essential for it, and to me, inseparable for remaining, or becoming, an enthusiastic devotee, and happy human being—the spiritual and material sides of life. Horizontal growth means in the broadest sense being a balanced person strongly influenced by the mode of goodness, where our physical, emotional, mental, and intellectual requirements are naturally addressed, but in such a way as to be made favorable for bhakti practices.

To put this in devotee lingo, we could say this is within the purpose of the socio-religious system of Varnasrama, but to me, without the baggage. Without getting into the details, formally designating a person as this or that varna appears counter-productive in today’s world. However, we can serve its purpose by helping devotees discover and deal with their life issues, become balanced and happy human beings, and find an occupation, and possibly a mate, that compliments their natural proclivities, all within the context of spiritual advancement.

Many devotees struggle from not addressing their past or personal life issues which bleed into their spiritual lives and can make it difficult to avoid making aparadhas or offenses to others and in fully absorbing themselves in sadhana, which is the ultimate healing method. In such a condition we have a divided mind and our out of integrity and in conflict with ourselves.

Some say to me, “Just chant Hare Krishna!”

Sure, if you can chant purely without distraction, and are happy in the process—go for it. I am all for that, and see the purpose of personal growth work as total absorption in the spiritual life.

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

[Originally published, 3-28-16 at the beginning of my cancer healing journey]
HOW CAN WE USE OUR SORROW, PAIN OR GREAT LIFE REVE…

Poems share what we feel
during a particular time
or mood of the day
from a breeze on our face.
We can label it
as good or harsh,
bitter cold or stimulating,
scented or a repelling stench.
We give wings to our experience
using word pictures to communicate
the magic of connecting to
the possibilities of the spirit.
We can invest life in our words
the nuances and flavors of being
what’s ordinarily inexpressible
incredible beyond reason.

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

THE PAST CAN BE A GOOD PLACE TO LEARN, BUT IT’S A LOUSY PLACE TO LIVE: One of the reasons I share my past growing up and my vari…

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

MAY WE BE BLESSED TO MEDITATE ON, UNDERSTAND, APPRECIATE, AND APPLY TO OUR LIVES, THE UNPARALLELED MERCY OF SHRI KRISHNA CHAITAN…

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

TO REALIZE OUR SPIRITUAL SELVES AS TOTAL GIVERS–HOW MUCH DO YOU GIVE, AND HOW MUCH DO YOU HOLD BACK?: Although Krishna, or God,…

On my healing journey
to postpone my death,
I missed hearing the subtle
first murmurings of spring,
when Winter just begins to dream
of all that it can become—
through rest and rejuvenation,
during snow and freezing rain,
leafless trees and barren landscapes—
transforming into new life possibilities.

I first learned this sensing
on our forested, countryside land
after adjusting to the quiet
while quieting my city mind’s busy-ness
learning to be present and open
without imposing on the environment

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

THE BALANCE OF GIVING AND RECEIVING: Like breathing in life-giving air, and breathing out carbon dioxide that is needed by the t…

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

PRAY FOR DIFFICULTIES?–I DON’T THINK SO: A dear young friend of mine sent me a quote from a devotee who had noted that in happy…

I found the drive from LA to ISV, in Mountain View, CA, a scenic one once I was out of the city. About half the way there as I approached the top of a mountainous ridge at 4,000 feet, I was greeted by what I took as an auspicious sign for my current travel and talk the following day. Ahead of me was a rain storm with the beginning of a rainbow to my right. As I progressed, it became larger and larger, finally creating an arch from one side of the highway to the other, like some banner heralding a festival on a city street. My camera was handy and when I posted the picture on Facebook, some of my friends thought that if they didn’t know me, they would have assumed someone Photoshopped it. But no, it was the real thing, and from what I have heard, not a frequent sight. It was the first one I’ve ever seen, and it stayed with me for about 10 minutes or so.

I gradually descended into the San Joaquin, or central valley of California, which grows much of our Nation’s food. Crops and various fruit trees were on both sides of the road often stretching as far as I could see. As I was taking in the scene I remembered that the last time I was in the San Joaquin valley was 46 years earlier. A few devotees and I were on our way to be initiated by Shrila Prabhupada in Los Angeles. At the time I was staying at the San Jose temple, which was near San Jose State University. I rode with Chitsukhananda Prabhu along with some other devotees. His car was an old, brightly colored and exotically decorated station wagon that Prabhupada had called a “hippie car.” About half way there, the car broke down in the middle of the same valley I was now in, and we had to take a bus to LA.

At the time I didn’t really think much about it, whereas now, I would be wondering what the symbolism was, breaking down on my way to be initiated by my future guru, Shrila Prabhupada. Now I might consider that overcoming obstacles and staying the course no matter what was part of the message I could garner from the experience, but at that time, I wasn’t that observant or curious. My simple, accepting nature served me during my early years, and helped me focus on my service without being distracted, or criticizing others.

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My journey in worship is an interesting and blissful one even amidst much anxiety. In my first months of taking to the path of bhakti, just after receiving initiation into chanting the maha-mantra, I was given the service to take care of our altar, which consisted of a large picture of Shri Chaitanya and his principle associates, also referred to as the “Panca Tattva,” and pictures of Prabhupada, his guru, and our line of teachers, or as some would say our “ascended masters!”

Although God is everywhere in his form as the Supersoul, or Oversoul of the Universe, we aren’t aware of his presence, except indirectly, and as the Witness he is generally neutral, though he becomes more accessible as we desire to make spiritual progress. On our Gaudiya Vaishnava path we prefer certain manifestations of God which offer the most possibilities for loving relationships as recommended in our line, first in a general way, and in more advanced stages in a unique way according to our developed relationship with him.

Some years later after I received seconded initiation, sometimes called “brahminical initiation,” but it’s really about deepening our relationship with the Hare Krishna maha-mantra, by the chanting of certain Gayatri mantras given in our tradition. This is in addition to what is universally called Gayatri within Hinduism, though every tradition understands its meaning through the lens of their ultimate goal. Soon after receiving this initiation, I began my formal service to various forms of Krishna in the old San Francisco temple on Valencia Street.

Throughout the years I have always gravitated toward Deity service, and many Deities toward me—by which I mean that I was somehow singled out to perform this worship without my seeking it, and sometimes without the devotees knowing my service, or seva, history. During a period of about 10 years my primary service was as a head pujari and head cook as I traveled around the world to Hawaii, Japan, India, New Zealand, Australia, and Berkeley, California.

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

I USED TO BE WORKSHOP JUNKIE BECAUSE I NEVER BELIEVED I WAS ENOUGH TO DO WHAT I AM HERE TO DO: While I do recommend being educat…

Visiting the temple in Tijuana, meeting and talking with the devotees, having the opportunity to speak, and participating in the kirtan, was a huge inspiration for me, and a super powerful way to begin my speaking tour on the West Coast. Facing death head on and joyfully embracing the possibility of having only a short time left in my body has been greatly beneficial to my life, like a lightning bolt of devotional and practical energy and guidance. Concerned friends ask me how I am doing, and my answer is “fine,” which means normal. Other than my cancer protocols, it is difficult to know that my body must be quite out of balance to have attracted cancer.

As it is said in the alternative treatment universe, I am not sick because I have cancer, but I have cancer because I am sick—which means a compromised immune system. However long I may live, I am taking the worst case scenario seriously and doing everything I can to strengthening the immune system and send the cancer cells elsewhere. At the same time, I am putting aside self-doubt, and embarking on speaking tours to share my realizations on the benefit of facing death so we can fulfill our personal mission, and practice what I think of as “essential spirituality.” I have also increased my writing schedule for producing a number of books. All in all it has been an incredible journey and is very exciting and enlivening—and this is only the beginning!

After 7 nights and 5 days of treatment at the clinic, I moved on to the next part of my journey. I scheduled speaking engagements at a devotee’s home program in San Diego, and temples in Los Angeles, and Silicon Valley.

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One theme for my journey West, which includes my whole cancer journey to date, and entire life when looked at with a spiritual eye, is a statement used by HH Bhakti-tirtha Maharaja that he learned from his very spiritual mother: “I am blessed by the best and I am praying to pass all my tests!” May we all adopt this vision to view our lives in the most positive light!

After arriving in San Diego a friend picked me up at the airport. He took me to the US-Mexico border, since it is quicker to walk into Tijuana, than to drive. I will stay with him overnight upon my return to San Diego. Having not seen one another for many years we enjoyed catching up on our respective lives. He prepared some Prasad according to my diet and I was so grateful. Krishna’s prasadam (sanctified food)is life giving in all circumstances, but under certain conditions we may appreciate this fact more. For me, after a long flight and only eating nuts, it was like breathing in new life. What can I say? I relished it and felt blessed!

After a long drought the heavy rains I saw were welcome, though even in a normal year, they’re rare for Southern California. As a result there was a good deal of flooding—too much of a good thing! Fortunately the rain let up for a while as I walked over the border into Customs. As I walked I did my best to take in the scene. There were lots of people wandering around and it was very commercial. I was struggling a bit since my bags were quite heavy. In addition to my checked suitcase, my carry-on bag was overloaded, as was my computer bag. Space in the two large bags was full of organic vegetables, grains, instant organic meals, and cooking utensils for the 6 day stay at the clinic, and for my trips north. Believe me, I will travel much lighter next time I visit here!

After checking into Customs, I made my way to the cab stand for the short trip to the clinic. Tijuana reminds me of a

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As I prepare to share more about my trip to Mexico and California, which I have dubbed, “My Magical Mystery Tour,” I have understood that my whole life has been a magical mystery tour because the various events in my life, both desirable or challenging, and wonderful and enlivening, have all added a shade or color of who I am today. Is our childhood or any other period of our life sad, or happy, or whatever label we may give it? Our opinion is very subjective and depends what measuring stick we use and general attitude we have.

I have shared that my story growing up seemingly was a sad story, as many of us also have personal experience,and yet, with my current “optimystic” eyes, it was the perfect situation to help me grow as a person and be sufficiently frustrated to foster an existential crisis to propel me on a search for a higher meaning of life, or a spiritual one. There is something to be said to have the child like eyes of curiosity, though mixed with a maturity that comes from material experience and a reawakened urgency for spiritual practice and obtainment. My current life is a testimony to that. How much this may be true is relative, but to me, it is a profound time in my life. With this in mind I wrote this free verse poem as an introduction to my latest trip West.

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL—TO KEEP ME ON TRACK

My Magical Mystery Tour,
when it truly began
I can’t fully comprehend
yet I know for sure
they’re multi-purpose plans
set in motion eons ago

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Sometimes I don’t know if I should be sharing about my inner thoughts and heart yearnings, and yet, I also feel it is important to do, with the hope that we may all be benefited. Thus I take the risk of being criticized. However, sometimes we have to bet our lives on following our convictions due to pivotal events in our lives. For me, the realizations I have acted on from my cancer diagnosis feels like a huge juncture in my life, or a “perfect storm” if you will, which is setting the direction and mood for the rest of my life—at least it seems that way.

Thus, I keep returning to the same themes that inform and inspire my life. Every day I begin it with reading and thinking, showering with water and prayers, waking our home Deities, and then praying my heart out for my present aspirations, in the mood of “What do I want and aspire for that will be of the most benefit for everyone and most pleasing to my gurus and Lords of my heart?”

Facing death, means stripping aside the unessential, and looking at my attachments, even as I strive to be the best person I can, and more, by the infinite grace of the Almighty. Praying and writing helps me strip away my facade to look at my bare desires and who I am now—and pray to be—since we are our faith and attachments. I find it a powerful process, and recommend it to all who believe in a higher power, or God, whom they have an intimate relationship with. We are all near death after all!

I am a mercy beggar being in my own estimation quite insignificant, and yet I am tired of being so mediocre, reserved, disengaged, indifferent, and withdrawn, and also a casual bhakti practitioner. Therefore, I love to pray for my highest good and to be a vessel of giving mercy. I have such high intentions for my writing and now speaking. I pray that my thinking, feeling, willing and acting will be in divine order and in alignment with God’s, or personally, Krishna’s, will for me.

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

BEING MINDFUL AND CENTERED, EVEN AS WE STRIVE TO ACCOMPLISH IMPORTANT GOALS: The Vedic literature provides a way to understand t…

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

WHAT IS ONE ACTION YOU COULD TAKE THAT WOULD IMPROVE YOUR LIFE? As I contemplate my upcoming talks with the title, “Facing Deat…

Author: 
Karnamrita Das

Guillotine over my Head:
In my current daily reflection, I feel the guillotine over my head, and so this changes everything. I k…

In addition to attempting to help others, one of the reason I continue to write is to better understand myself. Looking at my basic desires and insecurities, I ask why? Why do I want to love so much and have others love me? It seems obsessive. Ah, the quest to be understood as I am, and to fully understand others as they are—and of course, to fully understand myself and encourage others to understand themselves as well. Self-introspection and awareness are essential.

On one level, perhaps the deepest level is the spiritual desire for total love, connection, and oneness with our “Maker” as they say, or our “Source,” “Creator,” etc., etc., or more personally on my path of bhakti, to Krishna with his Radha, or Chaitanya and Nitai, and all their energies, and associates, like my gurus and previous acharyas.

I understand the purpose of the false ego (though I don’t much like it) as a protective mechanism for souls who want to enjoy and exploit the material world and think of themselves as separate and independent—all in their own way and to varying degrees. By nature our sense in a material body and mind is to feel incomplete and in need and this fuels our search for love and fullness, and thus our continual attempt to do this, birth after birth, in countless different forms and circumstances until we learn that souls can only be happy outside the confines of matter.

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Author: 
Karnamrita Das

DOUBLE PARTIALLY GOOD NEWS AND THE CHINESE FARMER: First, after examining the PET full body scan, the only cancer that was revea…

AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION IS WORTH A POUND OF CURE: We have been eating healthy organic food for 4 or 5 years as part of my wife’s Ayurvedic wellness program due to her long struggle with weak health. Unfortunately, because of my rare encounter with serious health problems and a strong “kapha” constitution, I have been more cavalier about taking care of myself. Her weak constitution and immune system has forced her to be much more conscious of the importance of diet, sleep, exercise, balance, and peace of mind. So now I am also being forced to do all the things I should have been doing as maintenance for health, and more so with a special diet and treatment for cancer.

I am no evangelist about any topic, yet I can speak with some conviction about a few subjects, and am sharing them with you—gently, as food for thought. I hope you take it in that spirit. I feel I am putting love and prayers into my words and pray they may have the power to bless my readers. I have expressed this many times in my writing. Wishful thinking perhaps, and yet, for me, this is my intention in writing and living. Every day I feel compelled to share my inspiration with the prayer that it will be encouraging and meaningful to you. I feel this is what it means to be a spiritually oriented person.

It takes money and time to eat right and exercise, and even if we do, we may still attract some catastrophic illness. I remember reading an account several years ago about a health enthusiast and advocate for a strong wellness program who was shocked when she was diagnosed with cancer. She was saying, “How can this be happening to me, since I am doing all the best things for my health, and have been for twenty years?” The better thought is, “Why not me?”

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Apparently some friends of mine think I am in denial by my expressed attitude in regard to my diagnosis. Maybe! While it is true that I don’t yet know the level of severity of my cancer, I don’t consider myself Pollyanna by any means. It is 2AM now, and I have a doctors appointment at 8:30 to have a PET scan which may reveal the primary cancer(s). Some may not believe me but I am feeling elated my whole experience so far, and consider my diagnosis one of the best things that have ever happened to me. Admittedly this is strange, but that is how I feel. It just seems auspicious, like an answer to my daily intense prayers for spiritual advancement and a way to better connect to others.

I am serious about doing everything I can to get better, and my wife and I are doing extensive research about possible protocols which have shown themselves effective in treating cancer. I looked it up on the Internet and for those who have a secondary cancer like mine, it’s thought that their primary cancer is at least stage three. Even if it turns out to be stage 4 or the worst possible stage or type of cancer, is my only response sadness, worry, or depression? I have encouraged everyone to pray for me, but not just to get better, but that this may be for my highest good and the highest good of everyone. That sounds like a pretty good outcome, whatever it looks like from the material perspective. Death (of the body) is certainly not the worst thing that could happen!

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[originally published on July 7th, 2010]
This topic came to me when I was on hold on the phone. Dealing with customer service representatives or those who deal with people on behalf of companies can be very instructive. It is a testimony about how challenging it can be to deal with the stress of working with the public, or doing a difficult job. Although some manage to be reasonably kind, considerate and thoughtful, many seem like they don’t really care about you or their work.

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(this blog is recorded on the full page: quick time player needed)

[Originally published on January 13th, 2012]
While there are many ways to frame, or lead into, speaking about the root cause of the problems of the world, or of the country I live in, looking more closely at the concept of selfishness will be helpful. I have often thought that fanaticism is the real enemy of the world, since people’s inability to consider other viewpoints is at the root of most world or local conflicts. To me, fanaticism is a type of selfishness, or the result of a very narrow vision. Both come from bodily identification. My guru, Shrila Prabhupada spoke of selfishness, and extended selfishness. We are all eternal souls, yet we have the power to invest ourselves into matter. So although in the ultimate sense, or spiritually speaking, we have nothing to do with matter, due to false ego, we (the soul or consciousness) become duped or fooled by the illusion of the material world (maya), to think we are a particular body and mind, separate from God, others, and Nature.

Material life is a process of expanding this basic delusion, through the qualifier we give to persons or things by calling them “mine,” which could be called my-ness, or mine-ness (or mind-mess!). When things or persons become mine, it sets up the possibility of conflict with others: my body, gender, race, ethnicity, house, neighborhood, family, possessions, money, religion, sport’s team, community, nation, species, etc. We will think someone crazy who says they are Napoleon, Jesus, or Joan of Arc, but saying we are Joe Smith or Ravindra Gupta, man, woman, or gay, American or Indian, white or black, Christian or Hindu, is no less insane.

Realistically, for most of us to function in this plane we have to acknowledge these conditioned labels and act through them, since their influence upon us is so strong. However, we should note that material designations will frustrate us at some point and certainly at death, when these temporary constructs evaporate like the fog they actually are. To realize peace, purpose, and cooperation in the world, we have to cultivate spiritual knowledge of who we are (consciousness) and our spiritual propensity to serve the Supreme.

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[Originally published on Dec 9th, 2009]
Some complain
about getting along
with others
who cause them
many problems—
ah, if they
could only be alone
they could experience
some peace and quite—
but really we are all
relational creatures
as is all existence,
conscious or inert
if we really study
the universe:

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It is often difficult to keep secrets, especially about one’s health, so after due consideration (so you don’t hear this second or third hand) I am publically sharing that after preliminary tests, secondary cancer has been discovered in a swollen lymph node in my neck. There is at least one more test in conventional medicine that could be performed—a PET or full body scan—to try to find the primary cancer. Unfortunately, I have found that just mentioning the word cancer freaks everyone out, as if this is a death sentence. However, this is not necessarily so. There are many alternative treatments with a high success rate—much better than the conventional radiation and Chemo. Although many who are reading this don’t know me personally, this could be your story just as easily, or it may already be, since in the USA, cancer strikes 1 in 2 men, and 1 in 3 women in their lifetime. In 2015, there will be an estimated 1,658,370 new cancer cases diagnosed and 589,430 cancer deaths in the US.

I don’t like to give anyone any pain or discomfort by telling them this news, but I bring it up as an educational experience for all of us and to document my travels through what may be a long journey of recovery. There is much to learn about what cancer is, what it means when it grows in the body, and what the best way to treat it is. We have found this the following site very helpful in our both our education about cancer and quest for the best treatment. http://thetruthaboutcancer.com/

At the same time, I do appreciate all the loving I am getting from my friends and families! I get the most amazing hugs and those looks of disbelief like I might disappear at any moment. If only we could all appreciate one another like this all the time!

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