Author Archives: Vrndavana Vinodini

A New Year, an old resolution…
→ kirtaniyah sada hari

I’ve taken to people watching a lot these days. Just plop yourself in an area and just sit and look. It’s amazing what you will see. People are fighting, smiling, conversing, hurting, shopping, crying, laughing, thinking… As I witness this, I often wonder about their lives. Some seem as though they “have it all”. I’ve often noticed with myself that if I’m not careful, it’s easy to get sucked into the polished veneer many present to the external world.

It’s easy to compare and think, “Wow everyone seems happier than I am” but fortunately, as I’m getting older and getting to know many on a much deeper level, that illusion is steadily starting to crumble. It serves as a constant reminder to me that the western conception of satisfaction/happiness is something that happens at you, but that’s not accurate. Satisfaction is actually an austerity that one has to practice as explained in the Bhagavad-gita.

It’s so easy to put the blame on “the universe”, Krsna or anybody else who gets in the way of our desires. But the only person we should hold accountable for our satisfaction, or more likely, lack thereof, is ourselves. Truth be told, that never sits right with me! LOL! I know it’s the truth, but it doesn’t and if I reflect I can only come to the conclusion it’s because I don’t want to take responsibility of my satisfaction. As almost everything else, it’s so easy to put the blame or obligation on someone else.

So what to do if you’re like me? Someone who knows that they are responsible for their own satisfaction but still finds it difficult to take full responsibility for it. The only conclusion I’ve come to is to associate with those who actually take responsibility for their satisfaction. You’ll notice that those who do, spend much more time trying to help others by giving them Krsna who ultimately is the only person who can fill that Krsna sized hole in our hearts. Furthermore, they are grateful and positive. They don’t focus on what went wrong or who supposedly caused them pain, but instead practically live the words Lord Brahma once spoke:

tat te ‘nukampāḿ su-samīkṣamāṇo
bhuñjāna evātma-kṛtaḿ vipākam
hṛd-vāg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te
jīveta yo mukti-pade sa dāya-bhāk

My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim. SB. 10.14.8

It’s December 30, 2011. As many prepare for tomorrow night’s festivities or a quiet night in to ring in 2012, I’m revisiting an old resolution. I’d like to take responsibility for my own satisfaction and stop waiting for it to just “come to me.” I pray that in 2012 I may develop the proper consciousness to serve the vaisnavas.

A New Year, an old resolution…
→ kirtaniyah sada hari

I’ve taken to people watching a lot these days. Just plop yourself in an area and just sit and look. It’s amazing what you will see. People are fighting, smiling, conversing, hurting, shopping, crying, laughing, thinking… As I witness this, I often wonder about their lives. Some seem as though they “have it all”. I’ve often noticed with myself that if I’m not careful, it’s easy to get sucked into the polished veneer many present to the external world.

It’s easy to compare and think, “Wow everyone seems happier than I am” but fortunately, as I’m getting older and getting to know many on a much deeper level, that illusion is steadily starting to crumble. It serves as a constant reminder to me that the western conception of satisfaction/happiness is something that happens at you, but that’s not accurate. Satisfaction is actually an austerity that one has to practice as explained in the Bhagavad-gita.

It’s so easy to put the blame on “the universe”, Krsna or anybody else who gets in the way of our desires. But the only person we should hold accountable for our satisfaction, or more likely, lack thereof, is ourselves. Truth be told, that never sits right with me! LOL! I know it’s the truth, but it doesn’t and if I reflect I can only come to the conclusion it’s because I don’t want to take responsibility of my satisfaction. As almost everything else, it’s so easy to put the blame or obligation on someone else.

So what to do if you’re like me? Someone who knows that they are responsible for their own satisfaction but still finds it difficult to take full responsibility for it. The only conclusion I’ve come to is to associate with those who actually take responsibility for their satisfaction. You’ll notice that those who do, spend much more time trying to help others by giving them Krsna who ultimately is the only person who can fill that Krsna sized hole in our hearts. Furthermore, they are grateful and positive. They don’t focus on what went wrong or who supposedly caused them pain, but instead practically live the words Lord Brahma once spoke:

tat te ‘nukampāḿ su-samīkṣamāṇo
bhuñjāna evātma-kṛtaḿ vipākam
hṛd-vāg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te
jīveta yo mukti-pade sa dāya-bhāk

My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim. SB. 10.14.8

It’s December 30, 2011. As many prepare for tomorrow night’s festivities or a quiet night in to ring in 2012, I’m revisiting an old resolution. I’d like to take responsibility for my own satisfaction and stop waiting for it to just “come to me.” I pray that in 2012 I may develop the proper consciousness to serve the vaisnavas.

Patience and Enthusiasm
→ kirtaniyah sada hari

I’ve often been told that I’m extremely enthusiastic. Truth be told, at times I’ve wondered if that was a compliment or a backhanded way of saying something else!

In our Vaisnava tradition enthusiasm is one of the cornerstones that our bhakti journey should rest upon. I’ve always found it quizzical when the inevitable question comes up “How does one become enthusiastic?” There are several responses I’ve heard over the years but the one that always stands out is “Associate with those who are enthusiastic.”

Being enthusiastic, however, is not so difficult. One naturally becomes enthusiastic about something that motivates them, inspires them or enlivens them. I would argue that maintaining enthusiasm in our day to day sadhana and services is what is more challenging. It’s easy to feel enthusiastic for a second, an hour, a day or perhaps even a week. But we, in the line of the great Vaisnava acaryas, aspire for more. We aspire for lifetime upon lifetime of consistent and ever increasing enthusiasm to not only serve Krsna but to serve the Vaisnavas.

In a lecture I was recently listening to, the dual workings of patience and enthusiasm was highlighted and as the proverbial saying goes a light bulb finally went on in my head. I’ve often found it almost contradictory that both of these qualities are extremely important in the cultivation of bhakti. In my experience, being enthusiastic often results in me wanting something right now, whereas patience requires just that- patience which is something that I firmly believe Krsna has on his priority list for me to acquire right along with humility!

However, as was explained in the lecture, having one without the other can lead to a recipe for disaster. If one is simply patient and waits and waits and waits without investing any action, nothing will come of it. Conversely, if one is extremely enthusiastic and is not patient then if the results of one’s endeavor do not come immediately, one may become disheartened and give up altogether.

It is often proclaimed “Work as though everything depends upon you and pray knowing everything is dependent upon God (Krsna).” In that one sentence one can find patience and enthusiasm as the underlying seeds which need to be planted in order for the flower of Krsna bhakti to blossom. In fact, it will lead us to the coveted goal we should all aspire towards- steadiness in service, in sadhana and in our consciousness of Krsna at all times.

So the next time you feel yourself getting extremely enthusiastic or feel as though Krsna may be testing you by making you wait for something, remember that it’s not just patience or just enthusiasm that are required to advance. It’s both.

Patience and Enthusiasm
→ kirtaniyah sada hari

I’ve often been told that I’m extremely enthusiastic. Truth be told, at times I’ve wondered if that was a compliment or a backhanded way of saying something else!

In our Vaisnava tradition enthusiasm is one of the cornerstones that our bhakti journey should rest upon. I’ve always found it quizzical when the inevitable question comes up “How does one become enthusiastic?” There are several responses I’ve heard over the years but the one that always stands out is “Associate with those who are enthusiastic.”

Being enthusiastic, however, is not so difficult. One naturally becomes enthusiastic about something that motivates them, inspires them or enlivens them. I would argue that maintaining enthusiasm in our day to day sadhana and services is what is more challenging. It’s easy to feel enthusiastic for a second, an hour, a day or perhaps even a week. But we, in the line of the great Vaisnava acaryas, aspire for more. We aspire for lifetime upon lifetime of consistent and ever increasing enthusiasm to not only serve Krsna but to serve the Vaisnavas.

In a lecture I was recently listening to, the dual workings of patience and enthusiasm was highlighted and as the proverbial saying goes a light bulb finally went on in my head. I’ve often found it almost contradictory that both of these qualities are extremely important in the cultivation of bhakti. In my experience, being enthusiastic often results in me wanting something right now, whereas patience requires just that- patience which is something that I firmly believe Krsna has on his priority list for me to acquire right along with humility!

However, as was explained in the lecture, having one without the other can lead to a recipe for disaster. If one is simply patient and waits and waits and waits without investing any action, nothing will come of it. Conversely, if one is extremely enthusiastic and is not patient then if the results of one’s endeavor do not come immediately, one may become disheartened and give up altogether.

It is often proclaimed “Work as though everything depends upon you and pray knowing everything is dependent upon God (Krsna).” In that one sentence one can find patience and enthusiasm as the underlying seeds which need to be planted in order for the flower of Krsna bhakti to blossom. In fact, it will lead us to the coveted goal we should all aspire towards- steadiness in service, in sadhana and in our consciousness of Krsna at all times.

So the next time you feel yourself getting extremely enthusiastic or feel as though Krsna may be testing you by making you wait for something, remember that it’s not just patience or just enthusiasm that are required to advance. It’s both.

A Meager Offering
→ kirtaniyah sada hari

Dearest Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet.

All glories to your divine appearance!

All glories to your causeless mercy!

It’s 10:54pm on the most auspicious occasion of your appearance and I am still in the process of composing what will probably remain an inadequate offering. My problem lies in the fact that it is impossible to express my gratitude in words and even harder to choose amongst your unlimited good qualities!

I was trying so hard to eloquently compose something beautiful when now, at this late hour, I am realizing I can only hope to convey what is in my heart. Srila Prabhupada, this summer, what to speak of this past year, has been so interesting. So many lessons, so many opportunities, so many challenges and most importantly so much mercy to absorb.

Amongst all that, one theme keeps coming up- unwavering determination and faith. Determination to serve for the sake of service without any preference or expectation for recognition. Determination to always behave like a vaisnava, which is actually extremely difficult for uncultured individuals such as myself. Determination to do one’s duty and carry out the orders of the spiritual master without any expectation for the outcome of the results. And most importantly, faith that Krsna always knows what’s best and to put full trust in Him.

You, my dear Srila Prabhupada, exemplify all this. You personify what Krsna speaks to Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita:

vyavasāyātmikā buddhir

ekeha kuru-nandana

bahu-śākhā hy anantāś ca

buddhayo ‘vyavasāyinām

Those who are on this path are resolute in purpose, and their aim is one. O beloved child of the Kurus, the intelligence of those who are irresolute is many-branched. Bg. 2.41

In the translation, you give us a beautiful definition of what vyavasāyātmikā means- resolute in Krsna consciousness. You personify this. Your resoluteness in Krsna consciousness is the reason why we are all here today. You faced what seemed to be countless insurmountable challenges, but you never wavered. You took so much shelter in the instructions of your spiritual master HDG Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Goswami. In fact, you always said “My spiritual master is always with me.”

Such faith and determination does not come cheaply. It is a result of great realization, trust and surrender. It is no doubt that you are a pure devotee who is so dear to Krsna and yet you came to the material world, undergoing all types of trials and tribulations just to save ungrateful individuals like myself who have no idea, even after so many years, what it actually means to be Krsna conscious.

My dear Srila Prabhupada, on this day of your glorious appearance, please first of all forgive me for procrastinating and only writing this offering at the last minute! Secondly, please give me that determination and faith you had in your spiritual master so that I too can follow in your footsteps and the footsteps of those who follow you. Please allow me to see every challenge or obstacle as a gift and allow me to feel gratitude and imbibe the lessons that Krsna is trying to teach me. Please allow me to have complete trust and faith in the Holy names of Krsna. I long for the day when I can say with full confidence and realization that everything is in Krsna’s holy names.

Your aspiring servant and granddaughter,

Vrndavana Vinodini dasi

A Meager Offering
→ kirtaniyah sada hari

Dearest Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet.

All glories to your divine appearance!

All glories to your causeless mercy!

It’s 10:54pm on the most auspicious occasion of your appearance and I am still in the process of composing what will probably remain an inadequate offering. My problem lies in the fact that it is impossible to express my gratitude in words and even harder to choose amongst your unlimited good qualities!

I was trying so hard to eloquently compose something beautiful when now, at this late hour, I am realizing I can only hope to convey what is in my heart. Srila Prabhupada, this summer, what to speak of this past year, has been so interesting. So many lessons, so many opportunities, so many challenges and most importantly so much mercy to absorb.

Amongst all that, one theme keeps coming up- unwavering determination and faith. Determination to serve for the sake of service without any preference or expectation for recognition. Determination to always behave like a vaisnava, which is actually extremely difficult for uncultured individuals such as myself. Determination to do one’s duty and carry out the orders of the spiritual master without any expectation for the outcome of the results. And most importantly, faith that Krsna always knows what’s best and to put full trust in Him.

You, my dear Srila Prabhupada, exemplify all this. You personify what Krsna speaks to Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita:

vyavasāyātmikā buddhir

ekeha kuru-nandana

bahu-śākhā hy anantāś ca

buddhayo ‘vyavasāyinām

Those who are on this path are resolute in purpose, and their aim is one. O beloved child of the Kurus, the intelligence of those who are irresolute is many-branched. Bg. 2.41

In the translation, you give us a beautiful definition of what vyavasāyātmikā means- resolute in Krsna consciousness. You personify this. Your resoluteness in Krsna consciousness is the reason why we are all here today. You faced what seemed to be countless insurmountable challenges, but you never wavered. You took so much shelter in the instructions of your spiritual master HDG Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Goswami. In fact, you always said “My spiritual master is always with me.”

Such faith and determination does not come cheaply. It is a result of great realization, trust and surrender. It is no doubt that you are a pure devotee who is so dear to Krsna and yet you came to the material world, undergoing all types of trials and tribulations just to save ungrateful individuals like myself who have no idea, even after so many years, what it actually means to be Krsna conscious.

My dear Srila Prabhupada, on this day of your glorious appearance, please first of all forgive me for procrastinating and only writing this offering at the last minute! Secondly, please give me that determination and faith you had in your spiritual master so that I too can follow in your footsteps and the footsteps of those who follow you. Please allow me to see every challenge or obstacle as a gift and allow me to feel gratitude and imbibe the lessons that Krsna is trying to teach me. Please allow me to have complete trust and faith in the Holy names of Krsna. I long for the day when I can say with full confidence and realization that everything is in Krsna’s holy names.

Your aspiring servant and granddaughter,

Vrndavana Vinodini dasi