Planet ISKCON

According to one lecture by Mother Urmila, which is on my list of lectures that I listen to again and again, Krsna generally has a few ways that He starts pointing out anarthas and offensive attitudes to us, and they get progressively more obvious as they carry on. And our ability to pick up on these pointers early rests on our attentive japa. First, Krsna will allow us the chance to glimpse something that shouldn't be there, like pride. We'll do something, and Krsna will give us the intelligence to say "Hey! That was just an act of pride!" Of course, if our japa isn't very attentive, we will easily pass over this realisation, or quickly forget it without rectification.

According to Mother Urmila, the next likely event will be that we will get subtle pointers during Bhagavatam class, or in conversations. Someone may bring up a point about pride in a class that perfectly fits our situation. Or perhaps someone in a brief conversation will talk about something they have read about pride, or maybe even we will read such a quote ourselves. Then, perhaps, if we don't pick up on that hint, Krsna will send someone to directly say to us "Prabhu, you're just proud." Of course, if we are really really proud we might just punch the messenger in the nose...

And if we still aren't able to pick up on the pointers and rectify the situation, chances are a very embarrassing situation will arise which forces it into our view. Of course still, we can ignore it, and likely will if our chanting is very slack.

Anyway, I had an ongoing example of this recently. And although I was aware of it practically when I did it first, I didn't rectify the situation. But now, having enough pointers, conversations and realisations, I think it's time I dealt with it abit.

Basically, I have committed a ridiculous amount of offenses through my use of this blog. I've acted like I actually know something about devotional service, Krsna consciousness and how to fix devotional problems. Actually, who the heck am I anyway? I'm just some young hooligan who can't chant with attention, can't walk down the street without lusting after every second person, and can't even properly carry out the service he's been given. Only a few short years ago I was engaged in some of the most abominable activities imaginable, and had some of the most embarrassing and shameful moments possible. Practically speaking, I'm in no position to tell anyone anything about Krsna consciousness. And yet, through this journal I have done just that. And to make matters worse, sometimes I even tried to instruct senior devotees through this medium. That is incredibly shameful.

I am incredibly sorry for anyone that I offended by anything I wrote over the past six months. I beg your forgiveness. Please excuse me for my immature mentality.

Having said that, I have a general announcement. Because my health has been progressively decaying over the past little while, which isn't so good because it sucked before anyway, my Gurumaharaja has suggested that I move down to Wellington and see a very good natural healer down there who happens to chant Hare Krsna, and associate with the devotees. I have just gotten back from a preliminary trip down to see the doctor and sort out living arrangements. I will be moving as soon as possible to live in the asrama run by my very dear senior Godbrother, Mahavana Prabhu. I look forward very much to his awesome association, and the opportunity to serve all the devotees down there. Sadly I am going to have to leave the association of the devotees at the Auckland brahmacari asrama. I recently sent a letter to my Gurumaharaja saying that I would consider my life incredibly blessed if I could spend the rest of it in service to these devotees in the asrama in Auckland. Unfortunately it appears that Krsna has other ideas...

I am begging all the devotees for their mercy, so that I will be able to cope with this change, make the most of it for my spritual life, and that I may be able to continue to practice brahmacarya strictly while in Wellington.

According to one lecture by Mother Urmila, which is on my list of lectures that I listen to again and again, Krsna generally has a few ways that He starts pointing out anarthas and offensive attitudes to us, and they get progressively more obvious as they carry on. And our ability to pick up on these pointers early rests on our attentive japa. First, Krsna will allow us the chance to glimpse something that shouldn't be there, like pride. We'll do something, and Krsna will give us the intelligence to say "Hey! That was just an act of pride!" Of course, if our japa isn't very attentive, we will easily pass over this realisation, or quickly forget it without rectification.

According to Mother Urmila, the next likely event will be that we will get subtle pointers during Bhagavatam class, or in conversations. Someone may bring up a point about pride in a class that perfectly fits our situation. Or perhaps someone in a brief conversation will talk about something they have read about pride, or maybe even we will read such a quote ourselves. Then, perhaps, if we don't pick up on that hint, Krsna will send someone to directly say to us "Prabhu, you're just proud." Of course, if we are really really proud we might just punch the messenger in the nose...

And if we still aren't able to pick up on the pointers and rectify the situation, chances are a very embarrassing situation will arise which forces it into our view. Of course still, we can ignore it, and likely will if our chanting is very slack.

Anyway, I had an ongoing example of this recently. And although I was aware of it practically when I did it first, I didn't rectify the situation. But now, having enough pointers, conversations and realisations, I think it's time I dealt with it abit.

Basically, I have committed a ridiculous amount of offenses through my use of this blog. I've acted like I actually know something about devotional service, Krsna consciousness and how to fix devotional problems. Actually, who the heck am I anyway? I'm just some young hooligan who can't chant with attention, can't walk down the street without lusting after every second person, and can't even properly carry out the service he's been given. Only a few short years ago I was engaged in some of the most abominable activities imaginable, and had some of the most embarrassing and shameful moments possible. Practically speaking, I'm in no position to tell anyone anything about Krsna consciousness. And yet, through this journal I have done just that. And to make matters worse, sometimes I even tried to instruct senior devotees through this medium. That is incredibly shameful.

I am incredibly sorry for anyone that I offended by anything I wrote over the past six months. I beg your forgiveness. Please excuse me for my immature mentality.

Having said that, I have a general announcement. Because my health has been progressively decaying over the past little while, which isn't so good because it sucked before anyway, my Gurumaharaja has suggested that I move down to Wellington and see a very good natural healer down there who happens to chant Hare Krsna, and associate with the devotees. I have just gotten back from a preliminary trip down to see the doctor and sort out living arrangements. I will be moving as soon as possible to live in the asrama run by my very dear senior Godbrother, Mahavana Prabhu. I look forward very much to his awesome association, and the opportunity to serve all the devotees down there. Sadly I am going to have to leave the association of the devotees at the Auckland brahmacari asrama. I recently sent a letter to my Gurumaharaja saying that I would consider my life incredibly blessed if I could spend the rest of it in service to these devotees in the asrama in Auckland. Unfortunately it appears that Krsna has other ideas...

I am begging all the devotees for their mercy, so that I will be able to cope with this change, make the most of it for my spritual life, and that I may be able to continue to practice brahmacarya strictly while in Wellington.

Another day, another Saturday Feast with the Vedicsoc crew.

Lots of people this time (for my standards): We had J. N. F. B. T. and H.

We discussed the first verse of the Upadesamrta (Nectar of Instruction) by Rupa Goswami. It points out that unless there is control of the senses, there cannot be spiritual success, nor can their be material success. Only someone with controlled senses is eligible to instruct disciples. That is, one should not learn from someone who can not even control of their own speech, thoughts, temper, hunger and lust (i.e. don't listen to the "good advice" of most people).

The verse also gives quite a heavy analysis of the uselessness of Mayavadi philosophy and materialistic life.

In the end, it recommends the nice, easy and tasty (!) process of taking prasadam to control the tongue. Then all the other senses can easily be controlled. Sense control begins with the tongue.

Naturally, we engaged in some of that style of practical sense control. On the menu:

• Quinoa Tabbouleh salad
• Spicy Bengali potatoes
• Green beans with cauliflower, carrots and eggplant
• Tomato relish
• Fennel basmati rice
• Gluten-free vegan carrot and walnut cake
• Old fashioned homemade lemonade

Another day, another Saturday Feast with the Vedicsoc crew.

Lots of people this time (for my standards): We had J. N. F. B. T. and H.

We discussed the first verse of the Upadesamrta (Nectar of Instruction) by Rupa Goswami. It points out that unless there is control of the senses, there cannot be spiritual success, nor can their be material success. Only someone with controlled senses is eligible to instruct disciples. That is, one should not learn from someone who can not even control of their own speech, thoughts, temper, hunger and lust (i.e. don't listen to the "good advice" of most people).

The verse also gives quite a heavy analysis of the uselessness of Mayavadi philosophy and materialistic life.

In the end, it recommends the nice, easy and tasty (!) process of taking prasadam to control the tongue. Then all the other senses can easily be controlled. Sense control begins with the tongue.

Naturally, we engaged in some of that style of practical sense control. On the menu:

• Quinoa Tabbouleh salad
• Spicy Bengali potatoes
• Green beans with cauliflower, carrots and eggplant
• Tomato relish
• Fennel basmati rice
• Gluten-free vegan carrot and walnut cake
• Old fashioned homemade lemonade

I got a paper accept at the ER2006 conference! That's the 25th International Conference on Conceptual Modeling to be held in Tucson, Arizona, USA from November 6 - 9, 2006 (ER stands for Entity Relation - the age-old method of conceptual modeling in databases).

My paper on "Representing Transitive Propagation in OWL" was accepted in peer-review process. A total of 158 papers were submitted and only 37 were accepted (23.4% acceptance ratio).

I got high marks for Originality and Presentation, but low marks for Significance (when I say "low", that means a "neutral = 4" rating, rather than a "accept = 6" rating; ratings were out of 7). That is fair enough. This research isn't the main, innovative, ground-breaking trust of my PhD. It is just something interesting that came up as a side-idea.

The paper is available in the academic section of this website.

I got a paper accept at the ER2006 conference! That's the 25th International Conference on Conceptual Modeling to be held in Tucson, Arizona, USA from November 6 - 9, 2006 (ER stands for Entity Relation - the age-old method of conceptual modeling in databases).

My paper on "Representing Transitive Propagation in OWL" was accepted in peer-review process. A total of 158 papers were submitted and only 37 were accepted (23.4% acceptance ratio).

I got high marks for Originality and Presentation, but low marks for Significance (when I say "low", that means a "neutral = 4" rating, rather than a "accept = 6" rating; ratings were out of 7). That is fair enough. This research isn't the main, innovative, ground-breaking trust of my PhD. It is just something interesting that came up as a side-idea.

The paper is available in the academic section of this website.

I attended the glorious London Rathayatra a few weeks ago. It was just great!

The Rathayatra is an age old festival that involves taking Krishna in his super-happy, happy, happy form of Jagannatha comes out for a rid on a huge cart. It has been observed in the Indian city of Puri for thousands of years. By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada it is now also held is most major cities around the world.

Now for some interesting things that happened to me throughout the day:

There was constant chanting and dancing going on. Huge kirtan parties were going wild. So many senior devotees were singing and jumping here, there and everywhere.

I got the opportunity to pull some of the carts, which was surprisingly hard work, considering the amount of people that were pulling. Krishna is heavy! I also got a quick turn at sweeping the road in front of one of the carts. Just like the King of Orissa traditionally sweeps the road for Jagannatha, the mayor of London traditionally comes out and takes a turn sweeping, as well.

As I was walking along a disheveled, homeless-looking person can and asked me for a light for his cigarette. Instead, I gave him a prasadam sweet someone had pushed into my hand a few minutes before. The guy went wild. I thought he was going to jump with joy. He started shouting, gave me a big hug and started playfully punching me in the chest. I was a bit taken aback by the sudden outburst and quickly disentangled myself from him. As I looked back he was still yelling and waving.

I met a young book distributer while walking along. He asked if I wanted to try to distribute some books myself. I hadn't done so for quite some time, but thought, what the heck, I'll give it a go. With such a huge festival going it was easy. I sold the two books he gave me within a few minutes.

Arraying at Trafalgar Square in central London there were so many people. The weather was really hot and sunny, so lots of people had come to see and enjoy. I meet so many old friends.

After queuing for about an hour for prasadam we finally got some. It was surprisingly expertly prepared, especially considering the many thousands of people that they had to feed. The menu consisted of:

• Coldslaw salad
• Coconut and potato subji
• Eggplant, curd and tomato subji
• Popadoms
• Cashew nut rice
• Raisin halava
• Frreshly pressed juice

Our group from Manchester walked to Soho Street temple for a brief visit, aiming to depart from there back home. We got the good fortune to be there for Lord Jagannatha's return from his cart (in expensive cars). Everyone had a kirtan and helped unload the various maha-prasadam from the cars.

We then walked back to Hyde Park, where the procession had begun, climb aboard our mini-bus and departed for a long journey back to Manchester.

My body was totally exhausted. I could hardly walk anymore. Still, in spite of being very tired and suffering from hay-fever throughout the day, the Rathayatra was a day of perfect happiness.

Check out the huge number of pictures I took.

I attended the glorious London Rathayatra a few weeks ago. It was just great!

The Rathayatra is an age old festival that involves taking Krishna in his super-happy, happy, happy form of Jagannatha comes out for a rid on a huge cart. It has been observed in the Indian city of Puri for thousands of years. By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada it is now also held is most major cities around the world.

Now for some interesting things that happened to me throughout the day:

There was constant chanting and dancing going on. Huge kirtan parties were going wild. So many senior devotees were singing and jumping here, there and everywhere.

I got the opportunity to pull some of the carts, which was surprisingly hard work, considering the amount of people that were pulling. Krishna is heavy! I also got a quick turn at sweeping the road in front of one of the carts. Just like the King of Orissa traditionally sweeps the road for Jagannatha, the mayor of London traditionally comes out and takes a turn sweeping, as well.

As I was walking along a disheveled, homeless-looking person can and asked me for a light for his cigarette. Instead, I gave him a prasadam sweet someone had pushed into my hand a few minutes before. The guy went wild. I thought he was going to jump with joy. He started shouting, gave me a big hug and started playfully punching me in the chest. I was a bit taken aback by the sudden outburst and quickly disentangled myself from him. As I looked back he was still yelling and waving.

I met a young book distributer while walking along. He asked if I wanted to try to distribute some books myself. I hadn't done so for quite some time, but thought, what the heck, I'll give it a go. With such a huge festival going it was easy. I sold the two books he gave me within a few minutes.

Arraying at Trafalgar Square in central London there were so many people. The weather was really hot and sunny, so lots of people had come to see and enjoy. I meet so many old friends.

After queuing for about an hour for prasadam we finally got some. It was surprisingly expertly prepared, especially considering the many thousands of people that they had to feed. The menu consisted of:

• Coldslaw salad
• Coconut and potato subji
• Eggplant, curd and tomato subji
• Popadoms
• Cashew nut rice
• Raisin halava
• Frreshly pressed juice

Our group from Manchester walked to Soho Street temple for a brief visit, aiming to depart from there back home. We got the good fortune to be there for Lord Jagannatha's return from his cart (in expensive cars). Everyone had a kirtan and helped unload the various maha-prasadam from the cars.

We then walked back to Hyde Park, where the procession had begun, climb aboard our mini-bus and departed for a long journey back to Manchester.

My body was totally exhausted. I could hardly walk anymore. Still, in spite of being very tired and suffering from hay-fever throughout the day, the Rathayatra was a day of perfect happiness.

Check out the huge number of pictures I took.

The last session of the term. That's it. Vedicsoc is over for the year.

Some statistics:
24 sessions
400 people subscribed to email list
~50 different people chanted the maha-mantra and took prasadam
Several sets of beads distributed (I didn't count)
15 small books distributed
5 big books distributed

In the last session we discussed "happiness". V. has written an essay for on the topic for her philosophy course: "The nature of happiness ??" whether happiness is a psychological state". We talked about how material happiness is indeed a state of mind, while spiritual happiness is transcendental to any mental joy or sorrow. With Krishna consciousness you can be happy regardless external circumstance. The body and mind will endlessly yo-yo: happiness/distress, pleasure/pain, joy/sorrow; but Krishna (and his part and parcels, the surrendered devotees) are always happy (sukhi).

The last session of the term. That's it. Vedicsoc is over for the year.

Some statistics:
24 sessions
400 people subscribed to email list
~50 different people chanted the maha-mantra and took prasadam
Several sets of beads distributed (I didn't count)
15 small books distributed
5 big books distributed

In the last session we discussed "happiness". V. has written an essay for on the topic for her philosophy course: "The nature of happiness ??" whether happiness is a psychological state". We talked about how material happiness is indeed a state of mind, while spiritual happiness is transcendental to any mental joy or sorrow. With Krishna consciousness you can be happy regardless external circumstance. The body and mind will endlessly yo-yo: happiness/distress, pleasure/pain, joy/sorrow; but Krishna (and his part and parcels, the surrendered devotees) are always happy (sukhi).

Initially only F. came. We discussed several things what were on her mind. In particular she mentioned, and gave me a copy of, a conversation with Sankaracharya (the current one, not the original teacher) in which he glorifies A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.

T. arrived after some time to join us. We discussed the various divisions explained in the 17th chapter of the Bhagavad-Gita. People in different modes of nature eat different types of food, perform different types of sacrifice, austerity, penance and give different charity. I explained how to perform all those activities in the best way (goodness).

The guests literally devoured the vanilla flavored almond cookies I made. Between the two of them they almost finished the entire batch. Prasadam is powerful.

We ended the session with some chanting of the maha-mantra while a crazy punk-rocker next door was jamming on his electric guitar and singing (badly). However, amazingly, we did not notice his music playing at all while we were chanting. As soon as we finished we were all amazed at the sudden loudness of the electric guitar.

Initially only F. came. We discussed several things what were on her mind. In particular she mentioned, and gave me a copy of, a conversation with Sankaracharya (the current one, not the original teacher) in which he glorifies A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.

T. arrived after some time to join us. We discussed the various divisions explained in the 17th chapter of the Bhagavad-Gita. People in different modes of nature eat different types of food, perform different types of sacrifice, austerity, penance and give different charity. I explained how to perform all those activities in the best way (goodness).

The guests literally devoured the vanilla flavored almond cookies I made. Between the two of them they almost finished the entire batch. Prasadam is powerful.

We ended the session with some chanting of the maha-mantra while a crazy punk-rocker next door was jamming on his electric guitar and singing (badly). However, amazingly, we did not notice his music playing at all while we were chanting. As soon as we finished we were all amazed at the sudden loudness of the electric guitar.

My mother visited Radhadesh in Belgium over the last weekend. She attended Kurma's cooking course there.

I spoke with her today. She said she really enjoyed it. The course was great and Kurma was expert. She prepared a some nice preparations for the daily feasts they all cooked together. All the devotees were really nice, too. She particularly enjoyed a morning class by Krishna Ksetra Prabhu. She also bought 9 books from the venerable Laksmipriya dd of the BLS distribution center.

Now greatly inspired in her Krishna consciousness she wants to go back to visit the castle again soon.

Kurma's blog entries about the Radhadesh cooking course can be found here and here. He also talks about the history of the place.

My mother visited Radhadesh in Belgium over the last weekend. She attended Kurma's cooking course there.

I spoke with her today. She said she really enjoyed it. The course was great and Kurma was expert. She prepared a some nice preparations for the daily feasts they all cooked together. All the devotees were really nice, too. She particularly enjoyed a morning class by Krishna Ksetra Prabhu. She also bought 9 books from the venerable Laksmipriya dd of the BLS distribution center.

Now greatly inspired in her Krishna consciousness she wants to go back to visit the castle again soon.

Kurma's blog entries about the Radhadesh cooking course can be found here and here. He also talks about the history of the place.

I've moved web hosting providers. I've gone from Surpasshosting to BlueHost.

Sorry for any hiccups that might have occurred today during the transition. If you tried to send me email that didn't go through, then please resend. All should be working now, but if you spot any bugs, please let me know.

My reasons for switching were mainly surpasshosting's backup policy. I lost 2 weeks worth of content when their hard drive crashed. A backup only every two weeks is totally unacceptable. This new host is very highly regarded, from the reviews I've read. They also give me more space and bandwidth than I would have had with surpass hosting. Finally, they aren't located in (soon to be wiped off the face of the Earth due to hurricanes) Florida, but are in nice quiet state of Utah.

I've moved web hosting providers. I've gone from Surpasshosting to BlueHost.

Sorry for any hiccups that might have occurred today during the transition. If you tried to send me email that didn't go through, then please resend. All should be working now, but if you spot any bugs, please let me know.

My reasons for switching were mainly surpasshosting's backup policy. I lost 2 weeks worth of content when their hard drive crashed. A backup only every two weeks is totally unacceptable. This new host is very highly regarded, from the reviews I've read. They also give me more space and bandwidth than I would have had with surpass hosting. Finally, they aren't located in (soon to be wiped off the face of the Earth due to hurricanes) Florida, but are in nice quiet state of Utah.

One "interesting" thing happened to me on my way back from the WWW conference:

I took a late train from Edinburgh to Manchester. I arrived at Manchester at about 11pm on a Friday night. Lots of students were out and about "enjoying" the kali-yuga delights. I was walking down the road from the train station, wondering if I should take a taxi, or walk home when ...

Suddenly, out of no-where, three Mercedes police SUVs appear. They stop in the middle of the road, blocking all the traffic. Within two seconds several police officers in full body armor pile out of the cars, draw their pistols, move in on a group of students, scream at one student to "drop it!" and have the guy in an arm-lock, pinned to the floor.

It happened so fast I didn't have time to react.

It seems one geeky looking teenage student had been brandishing a gun to get some respect (unusual in the UK, since even the police here do not carry firearms - expect, of course, for the Armed Response Units, such as the one that I happened to witness in action). The guy certainly suffered the consequences.

All that made me desire less and less to stay in the UK. Manchester: crime city.

One "interesting" thing happened to me on my way back from the WWW conference:

I took a late train from Edinburgh to Manchester. I arrived at Manchester at about 11pm on a Friday night. Lots of students were out and about "enjoying" the kali-yuga delights. I was walking down the road from the train station, wondering if I should take a taxi, or walk home when ...

Suddenly, out of no-where, three Mercedes police SUVs appear. They stop in the middle of the road, blocking all the traffic. Within two seconds several police officers in full body armor pile out of the cars, draw their pistols, move in on a group of students, scream at one student to "drop it!" and have the guy in an arm-lock, pinned to the floor.

It happened so fast I didn't have time to react.

It seems one geeky looking teenage student had been brandishing a gun to get some respect (unusual in the UK, since even the police here do not carry firearms - expect, of course, for the Armed Response Units, such as the one that I happened to witness in action). The guy certainly suffered the consequences.

All that made me desire less and less to stay in the UK. Manchester: crime city.

There was a talk on "The Web Structure of E-Government - Developing a Methodology for Quantitative Evaluation".

The researchers from University College London (UCL) used several statistical measures for evaluating government websites: worse case strongly connected components, incoming vs. outgoing link, path length between pages, etc. They compared their statistical measure with results from user evaluations. That is, they got a bunch of users together and measured how long it took them to find stuff on various website (both with and without using Google).

They tested the UK, Australia and USA immigration websites. The results:

• UK is best, both navigating the link structure and searching
• AU is terrible to navigate, but good to search
• USA is bad any way you look at it, but at least search will eventually find you what you are looking for.

Automated statistics don't tell you much.

More info at: www.governmentontheweb.org

This was followed by a talk by Ian Pascal Volz from the Johann Wolfgang Goethe University in Germany. He talked about "the Impact of Online Music Services on the Demand for Stars in the Music Industry".

His main (and interesting!) finding is that people tend to buy music they already know and like from online music stores like the iTunes Music Store. Peer-to-peer file sharing networks, on the other hand, tend to get people to try and discover new music. Virtual communities are somewhere in between the two.

People who buy music will not spend any money on something they don't already know and value. Even $1 per song is too high a price for a casual purchase. If you want people to discover your music and you are unknown it must be available for free.

On a related topic: when recording lectures on spiritual subject matter, please, please, please don't try to charge for them. No one will pay. Make them available for free. That way to the whole world will benefit.

And so ends the WWW2006 conference. Next stop Banff, Canada for WWW2007.

There was a talk on "The Web Structure of E-Government - Developing a Methodology for Quantitative Evaluation".

The researchers from University College London (UCL) used several statistical measures for evaluating government websites: worse case strongly connected components, incoming vs. outgoing link, path length between pages, etc. They compared their statistical measure with results from user evaluations. That is, they got a bunch of users together and measured how long it took them to find stuff on various website (both with and without using Google).

They tested the UK, Australia and USA immigration websites. The results:

• UK is best, both navigating the link structure and searching
• AU is terrible to navigate, but good to search
• USA is bad any way you look at it, but at least search will eventually find you what you are looking for.

Automated statistics don't tell you much.

More info at: www.governmentontheweb.org

This was followed by a talk by Ian Pascal Volz from the Johann Wolfgang Goethe University in Germany. He talked about "the Impact of Online Music Services on the Demand for Stars in the Music Industry".

His main (and interesting!) finding is that people tend to buy music they already know and like from online music stores like the iTunes Music Store. Peer-to-peer file sharing networks, on the other hand, tend to get people to try and discover new music. Virtual communities are somewhere in between the two.

People who buy music will not spend any money on something they don't already know and value. Even $1 per song is too high a price for a casual purchase. If you want people to discover your music and you are unknown it must be available for free.

On a related topic: when recording lectures on spiritual subject matter, please, please, please don't try to charge for them. No one will pay. Make them available for free. That way to the whole world will benefit.

And so ends the WWW2006 conference. Next stop Banff, Canada for WWW2007.

A presentation by some researchers from Karlsruhe, Germany was very interesting (well presented, too). They talked about their "semantic wikipedia", an extension to the popular MediaWiki that allows authors to express some semantics, i.e. to get at the hidden data within the articles.

The normal wikipedia only has plain links between articles. Nevertheless, it is the 16th most successful website of all time (according to alexa.com). However, in the semantic version every link has a type. Object properties map concepts to concepts and datatype properties map concepts to data values.

Why do it this way? Answers: adding these annotations is cheap and easy (no new UI), they can be added incrementally and there is no need to create a whole new RDF layer on top of the existing content, the annotations are right there in the wiki text.

This simple addition is enough to allow for powerful queries. You can create pages that automatically pull in all articles of a specific category, with a specific title and between a specific date range, for example. Checking for completeness because easier too: you can construct a query that tests if every Country has a Capital. If some countries come up that don't, those can be easily fixed.

The whole thing self-regulates. Each property has its own page in the wiki, so that people can suggest property types and eventually come to a consensus about which properties are the right ones to use.

The wiki can be imported into OWL and vica versa. The template system can also be leveraged to quickly create semantic annotations.

The whole thing is a win-win-quick-quick scenario (bit of an in-joke there).

A presentation by some researchers from Karlsruhe, Germany was very interesting (well presented, too). They talked about their "semantic wikipedia", an extension to the popular MediaWiki that allows authors to express some semantics, i.e. to get at the hidden data within the articles.

The normal wikipedia only has plain links between articles. Nevertheless, it is the 16th most successful website of all time (according to alexa.com). However, in the semantic version every link has a type. Object properties map concepts to concepts and datatype properties map concepts to data values.

Why do it this way? Answers: adding these annotations is cheap and easy (no new UI), they can be added incrementally and there is no need to create a whole new RDF layer on top of the existing content, the annotations are right there in the wiki text.

This simple addition is enough to allow for powerful queries. You can create pages that automatically pull in all articles of a specific category, with a specific title and between a specific date range, for example. Checking for completeness because easier too: you can construct a query that tests if every Country has a Capital. If some countries come up that don't, those can be easily fixed.

The whole thing self-regulates. Each property has its own page in the wiki, so that people can suggest property types and eventually come to a consensus about which properties are the right ones to use.

The wiki can be imported into OWL and vica versa. The template system can also be leveraged to quickly create semantic annotations.

The whole thing is a win-win-quick-quick scenario (bit of an in-joke there).

Over lunch I bumped into John Darlington, the former CEO of Active Navigation, a small company (spin-off from Southampton University) that I worked for a while ago. John is now working for Southampton University as a Business Manager and was involved in organizing the WWW conference.

Active Navigation was a very nice place to work. It had the atmosphere of a small start-up without the killer, passionate, burn-out, no-holds-barred pace.

The company creates a server technology that automatically injects hyperlinks into web pages pointing to relevant, related pages on the same website. Website navigation can be improved by using these injected links. If someone, for example, creates a web page containing the word "ontology" and someone else has written a web page that also contains the "ontology", then the server transforms those words into links to each other's web pages. Someone browsing the website could find the two related pages by clicking on the automatically created link.

John called me over: "Julian! Wow, great to see you!"

Turning to Nigel Shadbolt next to him: "Julian here worked for me for a while, then disappeared into the either, as you do, and now: I'm chairing a session (the one on education), look down and who do I see? Julian, asking a question!"

He suggested I might look into digital media production in New Zealand as a possible career path. Ever since Lord of the Rings that has apparently taken off in a big way down-under.

Over lunch I bumped into John Darlington, the former CEO of Active Navigation, a small company (spin-off from Southampton University) that I worked for a while ago. John is now working for Southampton University as a Business Manager and was involved in organizing the WWW conference.

Active Navigation was a very nice place to work. It had the atmosphere of a small start-up without the killer, passionate, burn-out, no-holds-barred pace.

The company creates a server technology that automatically injects hyperlinks into web pages pointing to relevant, related pages on the same website. Website navigation can be improved by using these injected links. If someone, for example, creates a web page containing the word "ontology" and someone else has written a web page that also contains the "ontology", then the server transforms those words into links to each other's web pages. Someone browsing the website could find the two related pages by clicking on the automatically created link.

John called me over: "Julian! Wow, great to see you!"

Turning to Nigel Shadbolt next to him: "Julian here worked for me for a while, then disappeared into the either, as you do, and now: I'm chairing a session (the one on education), look down and who do I see? Julian, asking a question!"

He suggested I might look into digital media production in New Zealand as a possible career path. Ever since Lord of the Rings that has apparently taken off in a big way down-under.

Harith Alani presented his position paper on building ontologies from other online ontologies. He explained how building ontologies is difficult, so it is best to reuse existing knowledge bases, or, even better, completely automate ontology construction. The state of the moment is that there are quite a few ontology editing tools, but little support for reuse. Furthermore, these tools are build for highly trained computer scientists, not the average web-developer.

His idea is to combine three existing research areas:
Ontology libraries (e.g. DAML library, Ontolingua) and ontology search engines (e.g. Swoogle) can be used to located ontologies on the Internet.
Ontology segmentation techniques (like mine) can be used to cut smaller pieces out of these ontologies.
Ontology mapping techniques can be used to reassemble the pieces into new ontologies.

Result: instant custom ontology. However, to get this working in practice takes quite a bit of doing. He himself admitted that is was quite an ambitious undertaking. Good idea though.

Mustafa Jarrar (from Beligum) and Paolo Bouquet (from Trento, Italy) presented the next two papers. They talked about a very similar topic. Both were advocating linking ontology terms to dictionary / glossary definitions.

It was interesting two observe these two researcher's presentation styles. Paolo was very fast and frantic, very much unlike Mustafa who was very slow and relaxed, even when trying to hurry (Vata vs. Kapha, for those knowledge in Ayurveda).

Mustafa told of how he built a complex ontology for some lawyers, but, after he had gone through the trouble of carefully constructing this knowledge base, the lawyers found it to be too complicated to understand and threw everything expect the glossary part away. However, the did really like and appreciate having a sensible glossary of all kinds of law-related knowledge.

He defined this "gloss" as:

auxiliary informal (but controlled) account for the common sense perception of humans of the intended meaning of a linguistic term

The glosses should be written as propositions, consistent with the formal definition, focused on the distinguishing characteristics of what is being described, sufficient, clear, use supportive exampled and be easy to understand.

Advantages are that these glosses are highly reusable (very important for his lawyer clients) and that they are very easy to agree upon.

So everyone: link your ontology to WordNet (or something better)!

Paolo picked up the issue and talked about his WordNet Description Logic (WDL). An extension to DL that adds lexical senses to the vocabulary of logic. It allows for compound meanings. So, UniversityOfMillan is automatically inferred as University that hasLocation some Millan.

Using this type of dictionary-link makes it possible to check for errors by comparing the glossary definition to the logical semantics. If they don't match, a potential error can be flagged.

His system also allows for bridging and mapping between ontologies. If two ontology concept refer to the same dictionary definition, then that is a very good indication that they are describing the same sort of thing.

Harith Alani presented his position paper on building ontologies from other online ontologies. He explained how building ontologies is difficult, so it is best to reuse existing knowledge bases, or, even better, completely automate ontology construction. The state of the moment is that there are quite a few ontology editing tools, but little support for reuse. Furthermore, these tools are build for highly trained computer scientists, not the average web-developer.

His idea is to combine three existing research areas:
Ontology libraries (e.g. DAML library, Ontolingua) and ontology search engines (e.g. Swoogle) can be used to located ontologies on the Internet.
Ontology segmentation techniques (like mine) can be used to cut smaller pieces out of these ontologies.
Ontology mapping techniques can be used to reassemble the pieces into new ontologies.

Result: instant custom ontology. However, to get this working in practice takes quite a bit of doing. He himself admitted that is was quite an ambitious undertaking. Good idea though.

Mustafa Jarrar (from Beligum) and Paolo Bouquet (from Trento, Italy) presented the next two papers. They talked about a very similar topic. Both were advocating linking ontology terms to dictionary / glossary definitions.

It was interesting two observe these two researcher's presentation styles. Paolo was very fast and frantic, very much unlike Mustafa who was very slow and relaxed, even when trying to hurry (Vata vs. Kapha, for those knowledge in Ayurveda).

Mustafa told of how he built a complex ontology for some lawyers, but, after he had gone through the trouble of carefully constructing this knowledge base, the lawyers found it to be too complicated to understand and threw everything expect the glossary part away. However, the did really like and appreciate having a sensible glossary of all kinds of law-related knowledge.

He defined this "gloss" as:

auxiliary informal (but controlled) account for the common sense perception of humans of the intended meaning of a linguistic term

The glosses should be written as propositions, consistent with the formal definition, focused on the distinguishing characteristics of what is being described, sufficient, clear, use supportive exampled and be easy to understand.

Advantages are that these glosses are highly reusable (very important for his lawyer clients) and that they are very easy to agree upon.

So everyone: link your ontology to WordNet (or something better)!

Paolo picked up the issue and talked about his WordNet Description Logic (WDL). An extension to DL that adds lexical senses to the vocabulary of logic. It allows for compound meanings. So, UniversityOfMillan is automatically inferred as University that hasLocation some Millan.

Using this type of dictionary-link makes it possible to check for errors by comparing the glossary definition to the logical semantics. If they don't match, a potential error can be flagged.

His system also allows for bridging and mapping between ontologies. If two ontology concept refer to the same dictionary definition, then that is a very good indication that they are describing the same sort of thing.

It's really really cold. I don't know why I find it so cold here, but today is freezing. I grew up in -40*C (which is about equal to -40*F, interestingly enough), but here in New Zealand, it's well above freezing, but the cool air is so humid that it just goes straight to your bones and makes your whole body feel very very cold.

Of course, I'm still suffering from this flu. Only two members of the asrama managed to escape it's clutches, Balagopala and Yadu-raya. Even Khela-tirtha, who claims to have not been sick in ten years, caught this particularly nasty bug.

I'm about to start taking alot of radical measures for my health. I have hardly done any sankirtana in the last month, and I've had to ask other devotees to take over alot of my other physically demanding services over this period. If I don't get on top of this, then I'm just going to get spaced out from a lack of engagement. So my full-time service for the next little while is going to be getting healthy so that I can get back into full engaging service for Guru and Krsna.

It's really really cold. I don't know why I find it so cold here, but today is freezing. I grew up in -40*C (which is about equal to -40*F, interestingly enough), but here in New Zealand, it's well above freezing, but the cool air is so humid that it just goes straight to your bones and makes your whole body feel very very cold.

Of course, I'm still suffering from this flu. Only two members of the asrama managed to escape it's clutches, Balagopala and Yadu-raya. Even Khela-tirtha, who claims to have not been sick in ten years, caught this particularly nasty bug.

I'm about to start taking alot of radical measures for my health. I have hardly done any sankirtana in the last month, and I've had to ask other devotees to take over alot of my other physically demanding services over this period. If I don't get on top of this, then I'm just going to get spaced out from a lack of engagement. So my full-time service for the next little while is going to be getting healthy so that I can get back into full engaging service for Guru and Krsna.

New feature:

I was inspired to imitate the recent comments feature of Sitapati's blog. However, the side panels of this website design are already cluttered with all kinds of useful information. I didn't want to add yet another long heading. I have therefore created dynamic HTML pop-up display of the most recent comments. Check it out!

Implementation: It's a "mash-up". It is a combination of the Recent-Comments plugin by Nick Momrik with the FreeStyle DHTML / JavaScript Menu by TwinHelix Designs.

Tell me how you like it and let me know if there are any bugs.

New feature:

I was inspired to imitate the recent comments feature of Sitapati's blog. However, the side panels of this website design are already cluttered with all kinds of useful information. I didn't want to add yet another long heading. I have therefore created dynamic HTML pop-up display of the most recent comments. Check it out!

Implementation: It's a "mash-up". It is a combination of the Recent-Comments plugin by Nick Momrik with the FreeStyle DHTML / JavaScript Menu by TwinHelix Designs.

Tell me how you like it and let me know if there are any bugs.

My body just doesn't seem to be getting a chance to recover from any illnesses. This flu that I've gotten this week is hitting me pretty heavily. Yesterday, my mother took me to the A&E (ER for the North Americans) because I had been delirious all day. They took my temperature there, it was 39*C, which is pretty hot. From memory, 38* is something to worry about. Anyway, they said I was at risk for getting pneumonia again, and my throat looked rather infected so I'm back on anti-biotics, for the second time in practically a month. This morning I got up at about 3:30 just to go to the toilet. As I was exiting the toilet my head started spinning, and everything went dark, next thing I knew I woke up on the floor outside the toilet, leaning up against the wall. I crawled back to bed, the clock said 3:45, so I think I was on the ground for about ten minutes before I woke up. And today I am incredibly tired. My fever has subsided, but my throat is still sore. I didn't finish my rounds until about 12:45. Anyway, Dan is very excited about the beads I gave him, he's shown them to everyone who has come to visit. He has promised to chant one round a day, and then increase, so the trip hasn't been a total waste.

My body just doesn't seem to be getting a chance to recover from any illnesses. This flu that I've gotten this week is hitting me pretty heavily. Yesterday, my mother took me to the A&E (ER for the North Americans) because I had been delirious all day. They took my temperature there, it was 39*C, which is pretty hot. From memory, 38* is something to worry about. Anyway, they said I was at risk for getting pneumonia again, and my throat looked rather infected so I'm back on anti-biotics, for the second time in practically a month. This morning I got up at about 3:30 just to go to the toilet. As I was exiting the toilet my head started spinning, and everything went dark, next thing I knew I woke up on the floor outside the toilet, leaning up against the wall. I crawled back to bed, the clock said 3:45, so I think I was on the ground for about ten minutes before I woke up. And today I am incredibly tired. My fever has subsided, but my throat is still sore. I didn't finish my rounds until about 12:45. Anyway, Dan is very excited about the beads I gave him, he's shown them to everyone who has come to visit. He has promised to chant one round a day, and then increase, so the trip hasn't been a total waste.

Today was a very jam-packed day for me. I got up abit later than desired, but earlier than I have for the last week, and managed to chant the majority of my rounds before it was time to leave. Gurudeva gave a class this morning on the other side of town, starting at 7am. At around 5 am we got a phone call, Gurudeva wanted me to drive him around today. I haven't driven for two years, and I don't even have a full lisence, but somehow or other, it turned out that I was going to be the one driving him this afternoon. Anyway, my rounds weren't so attentive after that, all I could think about was the rules of the road that I would have to revive before 10:30.

The class was a brahmacari class, understanding the practicalities of the brahmacari vow, and brahmacarya's relationship with all other asramas. Gurudeva stressed again and again that brahmacarya is meant to produce real human culture, so that if a brahmacari does get married, he does so with a mood of sense control, not free enjoyment.

Anyway, the class ended, I did a few chores for Gurudeva, and managed to read a little bit. Then I drove him to his appointment, making it there wiht 5 minutes to spare. We drove back with no problems. I then jumped into the kitchen to help Yadu-raya with Gurudeva's lunch for today, and his ekadasi meals for tomorrow. Gurudeva is on his way to India, so he needed to be prepared for the long flight. I put together a few ekadasi samosa's, which was definitely a bit difficult. Lunch was JUST on time. And we managed to leave for the airport right on schedule, aside from a little hitch in regards to Gurudeva's cashews, dates and raisins he requested. The hitch wasn't my fault, but Gurudeva made a few amusing remarks.

So, then I made it home after all that, catching the bus back to the asrama with a pot full of maha-maha-prasadam. I hadn't eaten all day, the way things worked out, so I was very relieved to make it home alright. I am not feeling very healthy at the moment. I did do 1/2 hour of exercise today, in what will hopefully be a regular routine. But my body is still feeling very weak from these two back-to-back illnesses. My throat is now rather sore, my body aches, and my temperature was rather high when I took it an hour ago.

Right now, Ramadas, Yadu-raya and myself are getting ready to head over the Tauranga for a visit. The two Prabhus will be doing books, I'm going to try and recuperate. We will be staying at my parents place. I don't know if I have mentioned yet, but my little brother is very close to becoming a devotee. He's rising early and chanting every morning, he is listening to heaps of kirtana, he's preaching the glories to prasadam to everyone he meets, and he is reading a few different Krsna conscious books. He just need a little bit of guidance and I think within six months he'll be ready to move down to the asrama in Wellington, to get some training from Mahavana. My mother is also getting interested in Krsna. She is has been listening to a few lectures by Ravindra-svarupa, and reading some of his articles. She has asked for a Bhagavad-Gita for herself, in fact she was jealous that my brother Dan got one before her! She is even thinking about taking a Bhagavatam set when she has finished her studies.

Anyway, I better get packing. I just needed to sit down for a few minutes to get my body together.

Today was a very jam-packed day for me. I got up abit later than desired, but earlier than I have for the last week, and managed to chant the majority of my rounds before it was time to leave. Gurudeva gave a class this morning on the other side of town, starting at 7am. At around 5 am we got a phone call, Gurudeva wanted me to drive him around today. I haven't driven for two years, and I don't even have a full lisence, but somehow or other, it turned out that I was going to be the one driving him this afternoon. Anyway, my rounds weren't so attentive after that, all I could think about was the rules of the road that I would have to revive before 10:30.

The class was a brahmacari class, understanding the practicalities of the brahmacari vow, and brahmacarya's relationship with all other asramas. Gurudeva stressed again and again that brahmacarya is meant to produce real human culture, so that if a brahmacari does get married, he does so with a mood of sense control, not free enjoyment.

Anyway, the class ended, I did a few chores for Gurudeva, and managed to read a little bit. Then I drove him to his appointment, making it there wiht 5 minutes to spare. We drove back with no problems. I then jumped into the kitchen to help Yadu-raya with Gurudeva's lunch for today, and his ekadasi meals for tomorrow. Gurudeva is on his way to India, so he needed to be prepared for the long flight. I put together a few ekadasi samosa's, which was definitely a bit difficult. Lunch was JUST on time. And we managed to leave for the airport right on schedule, aside from a little hitch in regards to Gurudeva's cashews, dates and raisins he requested. The hitch wasn't my fault, but Gurudeva made a few amusing remarks.

So, then I made it home after all that, catching the bus back to the asrama with a pot full of maha-maha-prasadam. I hadn't eaten all day, the way things worked out, so I was very relieved to make it home alright. I am not feeling very healthy at the moment. I did do 1/2 hour of exercise today, in what will hopefully be a regular routine. But my body is still feeling very weak from these two back-to-back illnesses. My throat is now rather sore, my body aches, and my temperature was rather high when I took it an hour ago.

Right now, Ramadas, Yadu-raya and myself are getting ready to head over the Tauranga for a visit. The two Prabhus will be doing books, I'm going to try and recuperate. We will be staying at my parents place. I don't know if I have mentioned yet, but my little brother is very close to becoming a devotee. He's rising early and chanting every morning, he is listening to heaps of kirtana, he's preaching the glories to prasadam to everyone he meets, and he is reading a few different Krsna conscious books. He just need a little bit of guidance and I think within six months he'll be ready to move down to the asrama in Wellington, to get some training from Mahavana. My mother is also getting interested in Krsna. She is has been listening to a few lectures by Ravindra-svarupa, and reading some of his articles. She has asked for a Bhagavad-Gita for herself, in fact she was jealous that my brother Dan got one before her! She is even thinking about taking a Bhagavatam set when she has finished her studies.

Anyway, I better get packing. I just needed to sit down for a few minutes to get my body together.

T-Mobile UK has finally released the new AKU2 firmware ROM update for its MDA Vario Windows Mobile smartphones (and MDA Compact and MDA Pro). It's about time!

The update enables push email for business users who's employers run the latest Microsoft Exchange server (Exchange Server 2003 Service Pack 2 or later). However, A2DP = stereo audio over bluetooth is not included in this update. It seems getting stereo sound to transmit over Bluetooth is a really difficult challenge.

The update also fixes a number of bugs in the Windows Mobile 5 operating system. And trust me, I can say, after a few months of using/cursing my Vario, there were a lot (!) of bugs.

Hopefully it all works like a charm now with the update. We shall see. People in various online forums seem to be happy with the fixes.

Get the update from the T-Mobile site. Do it now.

T-Mobile UK has finally released the new AKU2 firmware ROM update for its MDA Vario Windows Mobile smartphones (and MDA Compact and MDA Pro). It's about time!

The update enables push email for business users who's employers run the latest Microsoft Exchange server (Exchange Server 2003 Service Pack 2 or later). However, A2DP = stereo audio over bluetooth is not included in this update. It seems getting stereo sound to transmit over Bluetooth is a really difficult challenge.

The update also fixes a number of bugs in the Windows Mobile 5 operating system. And trust me, I can say, after a few months of using/cursing my Vario, there were a lot (!) of bugs.

Hopefully it all works like a charm now with the update. We shall see. People in various online forums seem to be happy with the fixes.

Get the update from the T-Mobile site. Do it now.

I got up abit late this morning. Although my stomach has settled down, I'm still missing alot of the strength I previously had. I tried to get up at 4, but didn't make it out of bed until 5. Which I guess isn't so bad.

My japa this morning was a little bit distracted. In a few of his seminars on good chanting, Ravindra-svarupa Prabhu talks about different kinds of inattentiveness in the chanting of the Holy Names. He talks about 'good idea' japa (I don't think he actually uses that term). This happens when the mind becomes calm by chanting and focusing on the mantra, but as a result of this clarity, the mind starts to think clearly about some problem/philosophical point/plan/anything, and we get the feeling that we are really making progress on that thing, but in the meantime, we totally miss out on hearing the Holy Name, which is what our japa is really all about. Ravindra-svarupa relays that once he brought one of his lecturers or tutors to the temple, and during kirtana this guest was dancing and chanting enthusiastically. Afterwards, Ravindra-svarupa Prabhu asked him what he thought. He replied "That was great! I had so many great ideas!".

There is a risk with this kind of japa that one will mistake their coming up with good ideas for actual progress in devotional service. It's an anartha which can grow beside the bhakti-lata, and we can mistake it for Krsna consciousness, but it's not, it's actually a distraction and it causes inattentiveness.

Anyway, that was my japa this morning. And during this distracted japa I discovered an anartha that I did't really expect to find, nor do I like it very much. It kind of relates to Prabhupada's famous purport in the Bhagavad-gita, Chapter 4, text 10: "Being freed from attachment, fear and anger, being fully absorbed in Me and taking refuge in Me, many, many persons in the past became purified by knowledge of Me — and thus they all attained transcendental love for Me."
The purport can be seen online - http://www.bhavagadgitaasitis.com/4/10/en

In this purport, Prabhupada explains how material attachments, and the resulting let downs, lead one to actually reject personalism, and be so afraid of actual personal relationships that one comes up with so many other theories, concepts etc just to escape having to deal with what it actually means to be a person, to have real loving relationships.

Anyway, I realised today that one of my major problems in Krsna consciousness is related to this. Our hearts are like fine china, and when they are hurt, they really get damaged. We have hopes for what relationships hold, and we place so much in this hope, that when this hope comes crashing down, our hearts are totally and utterly crushed. And instantly, we aren't able to put our hearts into an endeavour like that ever again. We hold back alot. We don't trust anymore. We don't want to risk that heartache again. And with good reason.

I noticed this once when I was young. I thought it was a sign of material detachment, but looking at it now, it was a result of being smashed while being materially attached. I had a girlfriend, who I was very attached to. I was young, and never really had a girlfriend before, so I was head over heels. This is why I kind of, cynically, understand what that boy Kana was going through, (mentioned in a previous entry - http://xmeatlessx.livejournal.com/24224.html?). I put alot of emotional effort into that, and ended up thoroughly battered by the end of it. And thus, in some way, there was a resolution that took place in my heart - I was not prepared to allow myself to be that vulnerable again!

And I didn't. In the only other relationship I had in my life, which happened about half a year later, my heart was not even remotely there. It wasn't going to be even if I wanted it to be. The classic example of once bitten, twice shy.

Anyway, don't worry, this isn't just some nostalgic blog update. This has practical applications to Krsna consciousness.

As Prabhupada points out in the purport to 4.10 "...because they are too materially absorbed, the conception of retaining the personality after liberation from matter frightens them. When they are informed that spiritual life is also individual and personal, they become afraid of becoming persons again, and so they naturally prefer a kind of merging into the impersonal void." Prabhupada often gives the example of a sick person. When a person is suffering very much, simply eating in bed, passing urine and stool in bed, bathing just by a sponge bath, totally suffering...and if you were to go to that person and say "when you are better you will be able to run, dance, eat cake, and enjoy", the sick person will just scoff. His conception of these things are all full of suffering due to his sick condition, so he can't concieve of these activities ever causing happiness, therefore he would rather just end it all, commit suicide.

This is what happens when our hearts are trampled by limited material relationships. We think "Forget the whole thing! I put in so much effort, so much emotion, so much heart, and now? Pain! I will never do that again!" Of course, we don't know that in a healthy condition of existance, the greatest pleasure possible can only be gained through establishing real relationships with Krsna and His devotees, which absorb every drop of emotional potential we have.

So, because of material experience, my heart is holding back. Deep inside there is a feeling like "I know what it's like to give my heart fully over, it's a risk I'm not willing to take." Thus, in my relationships with the devotees, and in my relationships with my Gurudeva, there is resistance. I'm not putting in my full emotional effort, because I fear that if I do, I will be let down.

This means that in my japa I am not putting my full hearts energies into calling out for Krsna, because, afterall, perhaps He will leave my heart trampled as well.

Of course, this isn't true. Krsna, the most merciful personality, the most attractive reservoir of all pleasure, is not going to trample the hearts of His devotees. My Gurudeva, who is an abode of mercy, is not going to misuse my dedication to him. And the devotees, who are full of compassion on all the fallen, conditioned souls, are not going to trample my heart. But the conception is there, this fear of personalism which results from material attachments and material experiences.

I long so much for the day when my full hearts efforts can be put into calling out Krsna's name, into serving my Gurudeva with firm dedication, and into my every interaction with the devotees of the Lord. And I beg the blessings of all the Vaisnava's that one day this will be a reality.

I got up abit late this morning. Although my stomach has settled down, I'm still missing alot of the strength I previously had. I tried to get up at 4, but didn't make it out of bed until 5. Which I guess isn't so bad.

My japa this morning was a little bit distracted. In a few of his seminars on good chanting, Ravindra-svarupa Prabhu talks about different kinds of inattentiveness in the chanting of the Holy Names. He talks about 'good idea' japa (I don't think he actually uses that term). This happens when the mind becomes calm by chanting and focusing on the mantra, but as a result of this clarity, the mind starts to think clearly about some problem/philosophical point/plan/anything, and we get the feeling that we are really making progress on that thing, but in the meantime, we totally miss out on hearing the Holy Name, which is what our japa is really all about. Ravindra-svarupa relays that once he brought one of his lecturers or tutors to the temple, and during kirtana this guest was dancing and chanting enthusiastically. Afterwards, Ravindra-svarupa Prabhu asked him what he thought. He replied "That was great! I had so many great ideas!".

There is a risk with this kind of japa that one will mistake their coming up with good ideas for actual progress in devotional service. It's an anartha which can grow beside the bhakti-lata, and we can mistake it for Krsna consciousness, but it's not, it's actually a distraction and it causes inattentiveness.

Anyway, that was my japa this morning. And during this distracted japa I discovered an anartha that I did't really expect to find, nor do I like it very much. It kind of relates to Prabhupada's famous purport in the Bhagavad-gita, Chapter 4, text 10: "Being freed from attachment, fear and anger, being fully absorbed in Me and taking refuge in Me, many, many persons in the past became purified by knowledge of Me — and thus they all attained transcendental love for Me."
The purport can be seen online - http://www.bhavagadgitaasitis.com/4/10/en

In this purport, Prabhupada explains how material attachments, and the resulting let downs, lead one to actually reject personalism, and be so afraid of actual personal relationships that one comes up with so many other theories, concepts etc just to escape having to deal with what it actually means to be a person, to have real loving relationships.

Anyway, I realised today that one of my major problems in Krsna consciousness is related to this. Our hearts are like fine china, and when they are hurt, they really get damaged. We have hopes for what relationships hold, and we place so much in this hope, that when this hope comes crashing down, our hearts are totally and utterly crushed. And instantly, we aren't able to put our hearts into an endeavour like that ever again. We hold back alot. We don't trust anymore. We don't want to risk that heartache again. And with good reason.

I noticed this once when I was young. I thought it was a sign of material detachment, but looking at it now, it was a result of being smashed while being materially attached. I had a girlfriend, who I was very attached to. I was young, and never really had a girlfriend before, so I was head over heels. This is why I kind of, cynically, understand what that boy Kana was going through, (mentioned in a previous entry - http://xmeatlessx.livejournal.com/24224.html?). I put alot of emotional effort into that, and ended up thoroughly battered by the end of it. And thus, in some way, there was a resolution that took place in my heart - I was not prepared to allow myself to be that vulnerable again!

And I didn't. In the only other relationship I had in my life, which happened about half a year later, my heart was not even remotely there. It wasn't going to be even if I wanted it to be. The classic example of once bitten, twice shy.

Anyway, don't worry, this isn't just some nostalgic blog update. This has practical applications to Krsna consciousness.

As Prabhupada points out in the purport to 4.10 "...because they are too materially absorbed, the conception of retaining the personality after liberation from matter frightens them. When they are informed that spiritual life is also individual and personal, they become afraid of becoming persons again, and so they naturally prefer a kind of merging into the impersonal void." Prabhupada often gives the example of a sick person. When a person is suffering very much, simply eating in bed, passing urine and stool in bed, bathing just by a sponge bath, totally suffering...and if you were to go to that person and say "when you are better you will be able to run, dance, eat cake, and enjoy", the sick person will just scoff. His conception of these things are all full of suffering due to his sick condition, so he can't concieve of these activities ever causing happiness, therefore he would rather just end it all, commit suicide.

This is what happens when our hearts are trampled by limited material relationships. We think "Forget the whole thing! I put in so much effort, so much emotion, so much heart, and now? Pain! I will never do that again!" Of course, we don't know that in a healthy condition of existance, the greatest pleasure possible can only be gained through establishing real relationships with Krsna and His devotees, which absorb every drop of emotional potential we have.

So, because of material experience, my heart is holding back. Deep inside there is a feeling like "I know what it's like to give my heart fully over, it's a risk I'm not willing to take." Thus, in my relationships with the devotees, and in my relationships with my Gurudeva, there is resistance. I'm not putting in my full emotional effort, because I fear that if I do, I will be let down.

This means that in my japa I am not putting my full hearts energies into calling out for Krsna, because, afterall, perhaps He will leave my heart trampled as well.

Of course, this isn't true. Krsna, the most merciful personality, the most attractive reservoir of all pleasure, is not going to trample the hearts of His devotees. My Gurudeva, who is an abode of mercy, is not going to misuse my dedication to him. And the devotees, who are full of compassion on all the fallen, conditioned souls, are not going to trample my heart. But the conception is there, this fear of personalism which results from material attachments and material experiences.

I long so much for the day when my full hearts efforts can be put into calling out Krsna's name, into serving my Gurudeva with firm dedication, and into my every interaction with the devotees of the Lord. And I beg the blessings of all the Vaisnava's that one day this will be a reality.

UK National Health Service (NHS): web-enabled primary care is finally coming, but is still super-clunky. And forget technology use in secondary care, it's non-existent. If only there was a central registry of patient's records. That would be really useful both for patients and statistical medical research. It would also be very cost effective.

The NHS is spending ?£6 billion on modernizing its information technology. Unfortunately, despite being only about one year into the project, they are already ?£1 billion pounds over budget.

I know from first hand ontology building experience that the Systematized Nomenclature of Medical Clinical Terms (SNOMED-CT), which is supposed to underly this whole revamp, is an extremely poorly architected ontology. A disaster just waiting to happen.

USA Health IT: IT in health could prevent some of the 90,000 avoidable annual deaths due to medical errors. Test often have to be re-done, because it's cheaper to re-test someone than to find the previous lab results. We need to get rid of the medical clipboard!

Knowledge diffusion is super-slow. It takes 17 years (!) for observed medical evidence to be integrated into actual practice. Empower the consumer (while also providing privacy and data protection). Also, empower homeland security to protect us from the evildoers.

Most practices don't have Electronic Health Records (EHR). Those would enable some degree of data exchange between practices, which would benefit a practice's competitors. The patient would be less tided to one doctor. Less tie-in means less profit. So, in the fierce competitive market of for-profit health care, there is little reason to go electronic.

However, SNOMED will help (... or so they say).

UK National Health Service (NHS): web-enabled primary care is finally coming, but is still super-clunky. And forget technology use in secondary care, it's non-existent. If only there was a central registry of patient's records. That would be really useful both for patients and statistical medical research. It would also be very cost effective.

The NHS is spending ?£6 billion on modernizing its information technology. Unfortunately, despite being only about one year into the project, they are already ?£1 billion pounds over budget.

I know from first hand ontology building experience that the Systematized Nomenclature of Medical Clinical Terms (SNOMED-CT), which is supposed to underly this whole revamp, is an extremely poorly architected ontology. A disaster just waiting to happen.

USA Health IT: IT in health could prevent some of the 90,000 avoidable annual deaths due to medical errors. Test often have to be re-done, because it's cheaper to re-test someone than to find the previous lab results. We need to get rid of the medical clipboard!

Knowledge diffusion is super-slow. It takes 17 years (!) for observed medical evidence to be integrated into actual practice. Empower the consumer (while also providing privacy and data protection). Also, empower homeland security to protect us from the evildoers.

Most practices don't have Electronic Health Records (EHR). Those would enable some degree of data exchange between practices, which would benefit a practice's competitors. The patient would be less tided to one doctor. Less tie-in means less profit. So, in the fierce competitive market of for-profit health care, there is little reason to go electronic.

However, SNOMED will help (... or so they say).