My God consciousness began in childhood; my first Guru, my mother, taught me to pray, my grandmother gave me the Holy Bible and I was confirmed Christian, then I trailed off and later became a hippie.
In the 70s a friend brought posters of Hanuman and Ghanesh from India, then another gave me a copy of Easy Journey to other Planets. I read it, but found it hard to get my head around it. I had done some Hatha Yoga and had a few lessons in Hindi, but had never heard of Bhakti Yoga.
Then in late 1986, I met a devotee at work, Radha dasi who I then knew as Rita. She immediately befriended me and soon she invited me to her house. Seeing a poster on the kitchen wall, I asked, ‘Which God is that?’ Her mother said that there was only one God, Krishna, and the rest were demigods.
I kept asking questions, asked what temple programmes were like and in Spring 1987 the family invited me to Gaudiya Math in Cricklewood, North London. I felt shy, but followed what everyone else was doing. After prasadum, I was introduced to Paribrajak Maharaj. Although I couldn’t understand every word of his English, I easily understood his meaning; he was putting into words what I had always, somewhere inside of me, known. I had come home.
On the Guru’s Appearance day in June 1987 I remember smelling a fat pink rose – my first blunder as it hadn’t yet been offered to Krishna. I was almost vegetarian already and stopped eating meat two months later – fish and eggs took a little longer. I would go to various temples and festivals with my new second family, read the books, fast for Janmashtami, and slowly, slowly started to realise how much there was to learn.
When I moved to Nottingham I still went to festivals, but with less regular association it seemed so hard. Surrounded by non-devotees and only occasionally going to a temple, I felt torn two ways. Eventually I told my friends and then, when I had been in KC 20 years, my family, that I was a Hare Krishna. Responses varied, ‘Have you gone stark raving bonkers?’ silence, and ‘Oh well, Happy Hare Krishna’. One friend fasted with me for Janmashtami, two came to Ratha Yatra, some asked questions and one made donations to ISKCON Leicester.
Sometimes over the years I found it so hard to follow Krishna Consciousness without enough association that I would cry out to Krishna, ‘How do you expect me to keep this up? For God’s sake, I’m a human being!’ Well, EXACTLY!! But once Krishna finds you, he never lets you go.
I didn’t discover Nottingham Nama Hatta for quite a while and when I did, they met in areas dangerous for a lady alone at night on public transport. I started going to Leicester occasionally but would rush off to catch my bus, missing prasadam, not having time to get to know devotees and stressing out about getting home. When Antardwip and Krupesh prabhus (now Karunamoy Krsna das) told me about Mayapur TV’s Morning Programme it was literally a Godsend. Association is paramount, and while my dear friend Radha is still very much there for me, patiently answering my questions, I now also wake up in the morning, switch on the computer and associate with others online. It’s the best way I know to start the day!
Thanks to the increased online association I now go to programmes in Leicester, Harinam in Nottingham, London and other places, stay at the Manor quite often and go to devotional retreats and festivals whenever I can. I serve at Govinda’s Notts and have done a little online service, veg prep, garland making, cleaning and a short spell at the Ahimsa Farm in Groby, Leics, mostly pulling up weeds and also getting to know the cows. In July 2013 I was introduced to my spiritual master and started aspiring to him. I don’t feel that this would have been possible without Mayapur TV – Mayapur TV ki jai!
