Transcribed by: Krishna Dhan das
Question: Does one has to give up his family life on becoming an Iskcon member if one doesn't become a bhramachari?
Answer: No it's not about giving up your material life but it is integrating and harmonizing our material life with our spiritual life that is what is required. So the key thing is that to recognize our goal of life is Krishna because International society of Krishna Consciousness is meant to bring us closer to Krishna. So how do we come closer to Krishna? By committing ourselves to him. So that committing to Krishna involves certainly at one level investing significant amount of time in directly devotional activities there is study of scripture, association of devotees, chanting of the holy names, going on pilgrimages but along with that it also includes spiritualizing our material life. So sometimes in some places some immature devotees may give a perception that to be a devotee means one has to renounce his material life but Iskcon is based on the example and teachings of Bhagvad Gita and example in it is that of Arjuna, he did not renounced his material life but spiritualized his material life. So that means the important thing is whatever spiritual wisdom, spiritual insights, spiritual impressions we get by doing our directly devotional activities we carry them in our heart and then we use them to infuse spiritual motives spiritual purpose even in our worldly activities. For eg somebody is a student then student definitely shouldn't give up studies he can study seeing as a service to Krishna that Krishna has put me into this situation and by studying I am doing my service which Krishna has given me and for doing it for Krishna's pleasure I am actually integrating study as a part of my Bhakti. So how do we do it for Krishna's pleasure? Firstly we do it because it is what Krishna has put us in a situation to do and doing that is essentially a devotional service. Secondly if we are having adequate spiritual connection through our sadhna then even our material life helps us deepen our connection with Krishna. We understand that in Bhagavad Gita Krishna Says (Karmana cha abhyar tha...) Worship me through your work. So we study and excel in our studies for the sake of Krishna and he is satisfied even if we excel or don't excel because Krishna sees the endeavor and not the result and just working for Krishna's pleasure can give us deep fulfillment whatever we do and that is satisfaction and fulfillment is missing for those who are working just for worldly results of success or fame. Beyond that we also need to recognize that Krishna is our greatest well wisher he is our ultimate goal in everything that we do. So if I am having a family and if I take care of my family responsibilities then I do it understanding that these are not just my family members, they are all precious parts of Krishna who have been entrusted in a relation with me. So by serving them, taking responsibility of them I am going closer to Krishna and in that way we will all be able to spiritualize our activities. now sometimes it may see that a devotee is giving up his material life because a devotee may give up many of the frivolous activities that are standard in material life today. For eg a devotee may not spend time in ideal gossip, chit chat, watching tv, reading newspapers and going for mundane parties and things like that. We don't have to equate material life with today's stereotype of what material life means. If we see what is considered to be fashionable or cool today that was not the case 50 yrs ago or 100 years ago and that is not the case in many parts of the world. There are material activities which weaken or wreck our connection with Krishna. so there are regulative principles viz, no meat eating, no gambling, no intoxication and no illicit sex. So if we indulge in these activities then that weakens our connection with Krishna so devotees give it up. So now for those who are in these activities a lot for them it may seem as devotee is giving up material life itself but the point is that devotee is not giving up material life but devotee is giving up peculiar conception of material life which has become mainstream today. So a devotee can have respectable and feasible material life in terms of having a family in terms of having a career and pursuing the family and career responsibilities diligently but without necessarily confirming to today's stereotype of what a successful person needs to be. So devotees can be performers in their field and even successes in their field in terms of their productivity their competence but they don't have to conform to all the things that go on in the name of being cool. So that does not mean giving up material life. There are people, though they may be few, because of their principles they decide for eg that they will not eat non vegetarian food even if everyone else around them is eating and in today's mutli-cultural society although there may be a little bit pressure to conform but over a period of time there is also a respect for diversity and people are left alone so to do what they feel is right. So there are many people who have active material life but even in that they chose how they are going to live their material life. They may chose to avoid eating non vegetarian food. There are even few people in society who are teetotaler's, they refuse to drink although they may be having their career's also and if people make these kind of choices they should be respected for that. So they are respected in the sense that their individuality and their freedom of choosing how they wish to live must be respected. So same with this also. As devotees we shouldn't be neglecting or evading our material responsibilities in the name of devotion. That sort of thing is actually renunciation in the mode of passion or ignorance and that doesn't lead to spiritual advancement. So if some devotees has done like that then we should know that it is not the right example and we should look at those devotees who are having healthy balance between their material and spiritual life and we follow their example and that way we can grow steadily in our spiritual life. So becoming a devotee doesn't mean that we have to give up our material life, we may have to give up certain conceptions of what it means to pursue a material life and we pursue a material life in Krishna's terms that by doing our responsibilities family, professional and various others diligently and competently but integrating them within the framework of our Krishna Bhakti. Thank You.