Prabhupada Letters :: Anthology 2014-06-02 15:52:00 →
1975 June 2
Websites from the ISKCON Universe
Lecture Highlights:
Three trajectories:
1. Forgive and forget
2. Forgive but don't trust
3. Forgive internally but be assertive and corrective externally
This lecture is based on this article: Is forgiveness practical?
(At the request of several readers and with the inputs from Back to Godhead editors and other senior Vaishnavas, I present this as an expanded and edited version of an earlier brief article with the same title)
The great spiritual wisdom-traditions of the world often exalt forgiveness as a glorious virtue, indispensable for authentic spiritual growth. Here are a few examples:
In the Vedic literature, forgiveness is repeatedly glorified as a praiseworthy virtue:
Even our contemporary culture recognizes the importance of forgiving: according to Gallup poll conducted in 1988, 94% Americans felt forgiving was desirable. At the same time, 85% Americans felt the need for some guidance about how to forgive. This article attempts to offer some insight on the practicality of forgiving based on the Vedic wisdom-tradition.
Forgive, but don’t forget?
The need for guidance while forgiving often arises from a valid question: wouldn’t we be opening ourselves to repeated hurts by forgiving a habitual wrongdoer? That the Vedic tradition are not blind to this ground-reality is evident from the above Mahabharata quote, wherein Vidura acknowledges this possibility when he says that a forgiving person may be seen as weak. To ensure that forgiving doesn’t open us to repeated abuse, it is important to discern the subtle but crucial difference between forgiveness and trust: even when we forgive wrongdoers, we needn’t always trust them. Let’s explore this difference by starting with the semantics of these words.
The Oxford online dictionary explains ‘forgive’ as meaning ‘stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake’ and ‘trust’ as meaning ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.’ While the meanings of these words have many context-specific nuances and connotations, the above generic meanings convey a good sense of their essential thrust: forgiveness is for the past; trust is for the future
Whatever wrongs a person has done in the past can’t be changed; as long as we resent the past, we stay stuck in it. Consequently, our thoughts, words, actions and even lives may become resentment-driven, causing us to either clam up or blow up. When we clam up, we drive our anger deep within, thereby unnecessarily inflicting ugly scars on our psyches that may distort our personality. When we blow up, we drive our anger outward not just to the wrongdoer, but to whoever crosses our way at the time of blowing up, thereby unnecessarily creating a public image of being irritable. Thus both the resentment-driven responses – clamming up or blowing up – are unproductive, if not counter-productive. These negative emotions created by an unforgiving attitude affect our physical health too. Many studies, including those at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and University of Wisconsin, and many books, including those like “Learning to forgive” by Stanford University researcher Dr Fred Ruskin, have documented that more forgiving people have less health problems, whereas less forgiving people develop more health complications. Scientific studies like these suggest that, at least for the sake of our own mental and physical health, it is beneficial to forgive and thereby free ourselves from negative emotions by forgiving.
Forgiving becomes a bit easier when our vision is enhanced by Vedic insights about the law of karma, which points out that we are likely to have hurt someone in the past, just as someone has hurt us now. We then see the wrongdoer not as the cause, but as the vehicle, of our suffering, which originated in our own past insensitivity. Underscoring this philosophically informed vision, Srila Prabhupada would recommend that we eschew becoming angry with “the instruments of our karma.” Even if our indignant feelings make the logic of karma difficult to digest, still forgiveness retains its potential to free us from resentment – even when the other person doesn’t ask to be forgiven.
Nonetheless, even when forgiveness is asked for and granted, we shouldn’t assume that the relationship is now restored to the earlier level of trust. If we re-start trusting prematurely, we may unwittingly grant that person the power to continue hurting us. Conveying our forgiveness helps that person avoid the pitfall of self-justification, and holding back our trust avoids the pitfall of that person remaining oblivious to the past wrongdoing. Forgiving a person certainly doesn’t mean that we let the other person continue the hurting behavior; that would be masochism and there’s nothing laudable or spiritual about masochism. At the same time, it needs to be stressed that there’s nothing intrinsically laudable or spiritual about cultivating and actualizing revenge fantasies. So, we need to find that balanced course of action which allows both us and the other person to grow spiritually. If we don’t forgive, we may keep suffering the past due to our heart’s ongoing resentment. If we trust, we may keep suffering the past due to the other person’s continuing misbehavior. By forgiving-without-trusting, we let the past go so as to give the future a chance to come in.
Vidura: patient yet vigilant
How forgiveness-without-trust brought a better future is illustrated in the Mahabharata in the dealings of Vidura with his elder brother and the reigning monarch, Dhritarashtra. The saintly Vidura, who is also the speaker of the celebrated Vidura-niti (the moral codes of Vidura), repeatedly counseled the blind monarch, Dhritarashtra to choose morality over nepotism. Unfortunately, the king, due to his attachment to his son, Duryodhana, continued tacitly sanctioning the latter’s nefarious schemes to harm the Pandavas, who were the rightful heirs to the throne. At one time after the Pandavas had been dispossessed and exiled in a rigged gambling match, Vidura’s beneficial but unpalatable pronouncements about the vicious nature of Duryodhana and its dire consequences became intolerable to the attached Dhritarashtra, who censured and banished his well-wishing younger brother. However, the king soon came back to his senses and sent his secretary, Sanjaya, to seek forgiveness from Vidura and to call him back. Vidura returned and forgave Dhritarashtra, but didn’t trust him; by withholding his trust, he was able to keep track of further recurrences of nepotism. But by not withholding his forgiveness, he was able to maintain a congenial relationship with Dhritarashtra, thereby eventually helping the king see the futility and folly of his attachment and to finally take up the path to wisdom and enlightenment.
Thus, forgiving-without-trusting enables us hold the door open for the other person to improve without letting ourselves be trampled in the process. This approach ensures that we don’t terminate our relationships when they could be restored. After all, we too are fallible human beings like the offender; we too may err tomorrow and be in need of forgiveness. Would we not want a similar chance to improve ourselves when we happened to do a wrong? If the wrongdoer demonstrates reformed behavior consistently over a period of time, then we can forget along with forgiving and restore the relationship to the earlier trust level.
Of course, the possibility remains that the other person may not always walk through the door of improvement opened by us. The unpalatable yet undeniable reality of the world is that there will be times when we may need to shut the door, but forgiving-without-trusting ensures that we don’t shut it prematurely.
Actions, not kneejerk reactions
A relevant scriptural example is from the tenth canto of Shrimad Bhagavatam in the dealings of king Vasudeva, the father of Lord Krishna, with the demoniac tyrant Kamsa. When due to an unexpected turn of events, the tyrant had an apparent change of heart and sought forgiveness from Vasudeva for the past atrocities. Vasudeva promptly forgave Kamsa, but didn’t naively trust him and divulge Krishna’s whereabouts; in fact, Vasudeva cautiously and tactfully did all that was possible for him to keep Krishna’s whereabouts hidden from Kamsa. It soon became evident that Kamsa’s change of heart had been only momentary; he relapsed into his past malevolence by re-imprisoning Vasudeva and by repeatedly sending deadly demons to kill Krishna. Thereupon Lord Krishna, taking cognizance of the demonstrated incorrigibility of Kamsa and the need to protect the innocent from his viciousness, chose the necessary punitive measure of killing Kamsa. This capital punishment freed the real Kamsa – the soul – from the vengeful mentality inherent in his material body, thereby enabling the thus-purified soul to progress on the onward spiritual journey. In this incident, we see that when Kamsa did not use the forgiveness graciously offered to him to mend his ways and re-earn the lost trust, then eventually he was administered the required purificatory punishment commensurate to his misdeeds.
Thus, the principle of forgiveness is counterbalanced by the principle of justice, and if abuses escalate to a criminal level, we may have to administer punishment. However, even punishment can be administered without hatred or vengefulness for the other person, but with concern that the person shouldn’t continue hurting others and incurring further bad karma. This is illustrated in the conduct of Lord Rama in the Yuddha-Khanda of the Valmiki Ramayana.
When the demon Ravana abducted Sita, the consort of Lord Rama, the Lord offered to forgive the demon’s grievous misdeed if he just reformed and returned Sita. When Ravana scornfully rejected Rama’s kind offer, Lord Rama did the needful to punish and slay Ravana, but after the demon’s death, Rama personally instructed Vibhishana, Ravana’s younger brother, to carry out an honorable funeral for Ravana. Vibhishana was initially unwilling to perform the last rites for a person who had committed so many lusty atrocities. But Lord Rama revealed his compassionate heart when he instructed Vibhishana, “No disdain should ever be felt for the soul. Once dead, a person’s soul leaves his body and proceeds to its next life. Ravana’s sinful body is now dead, but his pure soul continues to live. The soul is always worthy of respect. You should therefore carry out the rites for the eternal good of your brother’s immortal soul.”
Thus Lord Rama revealed his loving concern for Ravana’s spiritual well being; however, his concern for Ravana was balanced by his concern for the many victims of Ravana’s atrocities. Because Ravana had shown no inclinations to reform his exploitative devilish ways despite Lord Rama’s repeated reminders, the Lord took the necessary disciplinary action against him – but without hatred.
Individualized application
How does all this apply practically in our contemporary scenario? Each of us is different, each of our relationships is different and each situation is different. So we need to be thoughtful, sensitive and mature while applying general principles to our specific circumstances. Often we will need to seek guidance from Krishna through prayerful contemplation and from Krishna’s devotees through heartfelt discussion. Then we will be able to intelligently choose among the three major alternatives that we discussed above:
By the will of the Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu the holy name of the Lord is spreading gradually throughout the world in every village and town as predicted by Himself. By the last 50 years’ effort of H.D.G. Srila Prabhupada and his followers, this Hare Krishna movement is becoming more and more popular throughout the […]
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From Amoghalila P
In a times of high talked personality and related events many will read this article (This comment refers to this article published in The Speaking Tree, Times of India.). Though well intended, looks shallow and poor in KC perspective. As there is not even once the name Krishna is used. You may say that you have emphasis on BG, but it ultimately misleads if not BG As It Is - pre1977.
Answer Highlights:
Prabhupada didn't use the word "Krishna" too often in Easy Journey to Other Planets and Ishopanishad as in his other books
Outreach in the public media is bridge outreach and one article is like one brick. A brick can't be expected to do the work of entire bridge.
The question about the editing of the Gita is answered here
Answer Highlight:
There are hardly any hard surveys on which to base such a big claim.
Nonetheless, problems do sometimes arise partially because we let the philosophy make us more judgmental, not more understanding, about each others' physical, emotional, financial and social needs.
Answer Summary:
Three types of reasoning used in science: deduction (most authoritative), induction (reasonably authoritative), abduction (far less authoritative).
All scientific theories about the past and especially about origins are based on abduction
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How Srila Prabhapuda received that honorific and what it meant in the greater plan of Mahaprabhu.
The post Still on the founder-acarya topic appeared first on SivaramaSwami.com.
Mangala Arati of Sri Sri Radha Gopinath, ISKCON Temple,Chowpatty,Mumbai;25th May 2014
The body, house and objects meant for worship can all be used in yukta vairagya. All that is necessary is the internal steadiness of the devotee to achieve success. An external show of steadiness is only for others to see. If there is internal devotion and steadiness, very quickly the bondage of the material world will disappear.
Chaitanya Shikshamrita, Bhaktivinoda Thakura
This talk is a part of the "Fascinating Mahabharata Characters" series. To know more about this course, please visit: bhakticourses.com
Scandinavian Rathayatra tour schedule
Fri 4: Aarhus Rathayatra, Denmark
Sat 5: Copenhagen Rathayatra, Denmark
Sun 6: Malmo Rathayatra, Sweden
Mon 7: Gotenburg Rathayatra, Sweden
Wed 9: Oslo Harinam, Norway
Thur 10: Oslo Rathayatra, Norway
Sat 12: Stockholm Rathayatra, Sweden
Sun 13: Aalborg Rathayatra, Denmark
Here is the full schedule of upcoming tour’s hare krishna festivals full schedule
Yours Humbly
Ratnavali
On Saturday 5th July one of the UK’s biggest music festivals “British Summer Time” takes place in Hyde park.
Over 80,000 people are expected, the festival is nearly sold out. Pete Doherty whose band “The Libertines” headlines the event, but there will be another band on the stage that day, a Kirtan band called the “Food for All band”,and the aim is to bring true ecstasy to the event in the form of the Yuga dharma, the Holy Name.
We will also distribute Prasad at the event to make it complete. We are requesting the blessings of the Vaisnavas, to make the project a success.
Kirtan is by nature attractive , as all 80,000 souls by constitution belong to the spiritual energy, so success is guaranteed. Lately most of the Laxmi required to fund the 1,000 daily plates of Prasad have been coming from our rock star friends in the form of charity gigs, and we hope that this will be the first of many such events.
Your servant Parasuram Das
This last Memorial Day weekend my wife and I attended the 2014 Sadhu Sanga Retreat, located near Boone, NC. Conveniently located only 2 hours plus 15 minutes or so from our house in North Carolina, the retreat center, situated on a high ridge, featured a panoramic view of the surrounding area in a stunning secluded setting. The Vedic style architecture of the facility felt very friendly and appropriate. All the events were held in a spectacularly spacious hall that could comfortably accommodate thousands. While the four day kirtan event was itself enticing for us to attend, we came mainly to promote our Grihastha Vision Team’s [GVT’s] new book, “Heart and Soul Connection”, (which gives tools to improve marital and family relationships) and to invite couples to our September 12-14 couple’s retreat in at Gita Nagari, Pennsylvania.
I talked to many devotees throughout the retreat, selling about 70 books. I spoke to spouses having difficulties in their marriages, and to those devotees who were trying to help couples in their communities but didn’t have the training to really help counsel them. These conversations reminded me of the critical need in our devotional communities for mental health services, couples counseling, and the training of mentor couples. Temple leaders should have basic training as to when to refer devotees with mental health problems to appropriate professionals and have available trained mentors to help couples having marital difficulties.
(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 03 May 2014, Bhaktivedanta Manor, England, Caitanya Caritamrta Adi Lila 8.27)
The Nectar of Devotion speaks about the person with a heart which is like a cotton swab – a tiny, little, fine thread of cotton that at the slightest breeze starts trembling; then it speaks about a person with a golden heart – these two prototypes are given. One is a person who is very easily emotionally moved; the slightest thing will bring out a lot of emotional reactions, “Krsna… Krsna… Krsna… Oh God!” (dramatic)
Then there is the other person who has the golden heart, who is very grave, and all these emotions are deep and internal. It says in the Nectar of Devotion that from both these platforms, the heart can melt – sneha takes place; where the heart actually melts. It is not that one is closer to melting than the other; whether you have a cotton swab heart or a golden heart. What kind of heart did Srila Prabhupada seem to have? You can think about it… Very grave! Remember how Jadurani was talking about that handbill that Prabhupada carried with him on the Jaladuta – it was a picture of himself with the corners of the mouth deep down and she was supposed to make a painting of that. She said, “Oh, I think you were not so happy when this picture was taken.”
Prabhupada said, “What do you mean, this was my moment of greatest ecstasy!” I kind of like that; it is a nice detail about Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada displayed this mood of the golden heart, not to speak out against the cotton swab, but Krsna chose Srila Prabhupada to be his representative…
Eight Verses in Glorification of Sri Govindadeva
by Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura.
May Lord Govindadeva, who charms the eyes of all living beings with the graceful movement of the peacock feather in His golden crown shining with pearls and gems, be my shelter. (1)
May Lord Govindadeva, who charms the hearts of the devotees’ with His cheeks which are kissed by the splendour of His smile and the dancing of His earrings, be my shelter. (2)
May Lord Govindadeva who, by glimpsing at His beloved to attain Her nectarean sidelong glance, provokes the love of all the demigoddesses, be my shelter. (3)
May Lord Govindadeva, who entices the pious cowherd girls with the charming movements of His eyebrows, which are enhanced by the beauty of His moving locks of hair, lustrous earrings, and His cheek placed upon His left shoulder, be my shelter. (4)
He enters into the hearts of the cowherd damsels and draws the to him, though they stand afar, blocking their ears from the sound of His flute and their noses from the wonderful scent of His body. May Lord Govindadeva be my shelter. (5)
He fills the devotees on earth with astonishment by the weight of His youthful beauty and the unlimited ocean of His love. May Lord Govindadeva be my shelter. (6)
Those learned in the scriptures worship Him with mantras as He sits in the lotus-like yoga-pitha in a gem-studded palace beneath a grove of wish-fulfilling trees. May Lord Govindadeva be my shelter. (7)
He is as handsome as the god of love (Ananga) and is dressed and decorated as if for a royal coronation. He enthralls all the residents of the three worlds with His beautiful form. May Lord Govindadeva be my shelter. (8)
One who reads aloud this Govindadevastakam and meditates upon the Lord’s lotus feet, is thrown into a river of mercy by the Lord Himself. May Lord Govindadeva be my shelter. (9)