Planet ISKCON

Disappearance Day of His Holiness Tamal Krishna Goswami Maharaj on Wednesday 13th March 2013…

  
This was actually from Lavanga and Krishna Purvaja. I’m not sure how they initially ended up with the photo, but they gave it to my wife to give to me (along with a couple other photos of my Guru Maharaja) some time ago.

This is the photo of my Guru Maharaja that I have framed and sitting on my desk at work. I sometimes notice it and sometimes I don’t. In that way, it’s kind of like the relationship I really had with him. I sometimes thought about him, yet on many other occasions (often while engaged in sense gratification) he was very far away from my mind. Doesn’t this parallel our eternal storyline with Paramatma/Sri Krishna?

From far away I can only make out the reflection on his glasses and his wide, bright smile, like a sort of Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. That smile would light up a room, change people’s consciousness from gloom to happiness. He had a powerful charisma. His energy/aura was powerful and potent. When he would walk into a room, you could feel the atmosphere vibrate with spiritual energy. I miss that nervous excitement of his physical presence. Feeling safe and secure, knowing this was someone who could guide and protect you. I just imagined him walking into my room right now and what that would feel like. I’m trying not to cry as I type this.

The tears are flowing now. Not tears of ecstasy, rather tears of regret. Tears of not being able to follow his instructions. Tears of being a failure. In my last visit with him before he left this planet he apologized to me. He apologized for being “too hard” on me. I was leveled by his humility and replied that the problem was that I was too selfish to appreciate the service. He smiled…and that was the last time I saw him.

The tears start flowing again. Damn it. I wasn’t doing this to cry, but this is where Paramatma has brought me. Down to this river of tears and regret and shame. Down to the core of the heart and soul. I was expecting to blabber on about the garb he was wearing, the room he was in, the rings on his fingers and how those things would trigger memories of physically being around him. But that’s not important here, is it? Isn’t that just more looking at the externals? More illusion? He wasn’t a black man. He wasn’t a sannyasi. He was an embodiment of Guru-tattva and that is what this photo is telling me today.

  
This was actually from Lavanga and Krishna Purvaja. I’m not sure how they initially ended up with the photo, but they gave it to my wife to give to me (along with a couple other photos of my Guru Maharaja) some time ago.

This is the photo of my Guru Maharaja that I have framed and sitting on my desk at work. I sometimes notice it and sometimes I don’t. In that way, it’s kind of like the relationship I really had with him. I sometimes thought about him, yet on many other occasions (often while engaged in sense gratification) he was very far away from my mind. Doesn’t this parallel our eternal storyline with Paramatma/Sri Krishna?

From far away I can only make out the reflection on his glasses and his wide, bright smile, like a sort of Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. That smile would light up a room, change people’s consciousness from gloom to happiness. He had a powerful charisma. His energy/aura was powerful and potent. When he would walk into a room, you could feel the atmosphere vibrate with spiritual energy. I miss that nervous excitement of his physical presence. Feeling safe and secure, knowing this was someone who could guide and protect you. I just imagined him walking into my room right now and what that would feel like. I’m trying not to cry as I type this.

The tears are flowing now. Not tears of ecstasy, rather tears of regret. Tears of not being able to follow his instructions. Tears of being a failure. In my last visit with him before he left this planet he apologized to me. He apologized for being “too hard” on me. I was leveled by his humility and replied that the problem was that I was too selfish to appreciate the service. He smiled…and that was the last time I saw him.

The tears start flowing again. Damn it. I wasn’t doing this to cry, but this is where Paramatma has brought me. Down to this river of tears and regret and shame. Down to the core of the heart and soul. I was expecting to blabber on about the garb he was wearing, the room he was in, the rings on his fingers and how those things would trigger memories of physically being around him. But that’s not important here, is it? Isn’t that just more looking at the externals? More illusion? He wasn’t a black man. He wasn’t a sannyasi. He was an embodiment of Guru-tattva and that is what this photo is telling me today.

Lately I’ve been trying to get back into devotional service again, but I’m finding many obstacles that I will need to overcome. A major portion of this is figuring out how to get along with devotees, because I still feel that it was problems with devotees that pushed me out.

Another big issue I struggle with relates to gurus. Mostly it was problems with gurus that made life in ISKCON impossible for me. I saw gurus breaking ISKCON Law in a variety of ways, and my confronting this made me someone whom devotees did not want around. That gave me such pain that I am still trying to get over it more than seven years later.

I remember it being announced (in 2007?) by our local GBC, a guru himself, that the temple bylaws were being changed (in a way that I thought Srila Prabhupada said they should not be) to protect the temples from takeover by the “rtviks,” who he said (twice) were “enemies of ISKCON.” I remember then thinking that if someone is said to be my enemy, then I have a responsibility to understand their point of view before accepting that. So I did, and I found their view had merit. However I had problems with them too. They were hurt a lot too, and it’s difficult to get along with hurt people.

Since I’m not a Krishna conscious person, I can’t definitively say what’s right or wrong in the process. I can say what makes sense based on what I know from Srila Prabhupada’s writing and speaking, and I can say what seems honest to me and what doesn’t.

This morning I saw a short blog series called “Diksa or Rtvik,” by Danavir Gosvami, and unfortunately it seems very biased to me to the point where I it’s hard not to call it dishonest. I wanted to comment there, but to do so requires creating an account, and I’m so fallen from devotional service that I’m not even sure what name to use, so for now I’ll write here.

Danavir’s post begins as follows:

“What has been the standard system of initiation (diksa) conducted throughout the ages in all bonafide Vaisnava sampradayas, today we neophyte American devotees desire to change.

““That is your American disease. This is very serious that you always want to change everything.” — Srila Prabhupada”

www.oneiskcon.com/2013/03/06/diksa-or-ritvik-part-one

I never saw the “rtvik” view as a change proposed by neophyte American devotees. My review of the history indicated that Srila Prabhupada instituted a system of initiations that incorporated rtviks, and that he never said to end it. The GBC changed it despite a general order to change nothing. Changing something back to what it was before an illegitimate change isn’t an ordinary change, and portraying it as such seems dishonest to me. If one somehow finds oneself driving on the wrong side of the road, that is not the proper time to emphasize the rule against crossing the double yellow lines. One must cross to get back to the correct side.

To me this doesn’t mean “no gurus.” We all know Srila Prabhupada wanted regular diksa gurus, and I see this “Diksa or Rtvik” concept as a false dilemma. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_dilemma If a guru has ten disciples and says “I want my disciples to preach East, and I want my disciples to preach West,” and then passes away, should his disciples argue over whether he wants East or West? The order is for both. It doesn’t mean two disciples go East, three go West, and the other five fight each other and go nowhere, which is a tragedy that seems to be what’s happening now.

“In effect, eliminating the diksa guru is tantamount to spiritual abortion.”

I have no idea how Danavir considers continuing the initiation system Srila Prabhupada instituted to be eliminating the diksa guru. Obviously Srila Prabhupada would be the diksa guru. Later Danavir says it prevents the year-long examination of the disciple and guru, but I always thought the July 9 letter gave full authority to rtviks to do that. It’s easy enough for an aspiring disciple to examine Srila Prabhupada by studying his books and the other products of his work.

Danavir makes the point in Part 2 of his essay that the initiation method facilitated by rtviks denies Srila Prabhupada the choice to reject aspiring disciples. The absurdity of this argument is astonishing to me. As I said in the previous paragraph, I always thought the July 9 letter authorized the rtviks to accept disciples on his behalf, and when I read it again, it says the same thing:

In the past Temple Presidents have written to Srila Prabhupada recommending a particular devotee’s initiation. Now that Srila Prabhupada has named these representatives, Temple Presidents may henceforward send recommendation for first and second initiation to whichever of these eleven representatives are nearest their temple. After considering the recommendation, these representatives may accept the devotee as an initiated disciple of Srila Prabhupada by giving a spiritual name, or in the case of second initiation, by chanting on the Gayatri thread, just as Srila Prabhupada has done.

That’s what it says. The bold and italics are my emphasis.

Danavir’s argument is hypocritical and seems disingenuous, because his position denies Srila Prabhupada his choice to accept disciples through the institutional mechanism he created, as if Srila Prabhupada’s mood was to reject aspiring disciples. Maybe Danavir is mixing up Srila Prabhupada with Gaur Kishore Das Babaji.

Danavir ends his Part 2 with a familiar argument that I always found easy to refute:

If it were so easy to jump up the ladder and become the direct disciple of Srila Prabhupada, then why couldn’t one just as easily double jump up to become Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati’s direct disciple. Going a bit further one might eventually imagine proceeding directly to the Lord Himself without the need of intermediate gurus.

We would not be talking about this if Srila Prabhpada had not created a system for accepting disciples in his absence, without asking his permission each time, by employing rtviks. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati did not do that, nor did anyone else as far as I know. However it’s a clear historical fact that Srila Prabhupada did. After his disappearance, the GBC scrapped that so the rtvik-acaryas could become zonal acaryas, and they concealed the real facts. Later the facts emerged, and many disciples wanted to reinstate Srila Prabhupada’s system. The GBC’s refusal to accept it is a problem that has caused ISKCON to splinter and become quite insignificant to the world. How can devotees present a solution to the world’s problems if they can’t even stop fighting among themselves?

Srila Prabhupada wanted his disciples to become qualified initiating gurus, but he also created an initiation mechanism to allow him to accept disciples through the institution. How can a disciple dare to destroy what the Founder-Acarya has created, when there is no order to do so? If an aspiring devotee primarily has faith in Srila Prabhupada, then why force the devotee to put his complete faith in someone else? It’s unnatural. On the other hand, if another qualified devotee is the primary inspiration for an aspiring devotee, and that qualified devotee wants to accept the disciple, then it also is natural. These two systems do not have to interfere with each other, but can unite everyone under the ISKCON banner. All that is required is for the GBC to accept it, and I really wish they would, so we can end this stupid enmity between devotees and work together instead of criticizing each other so much. Please. Hare Krsna.

I also want to offer my humble obeisances to HH Danavir Gosvami. I wish I could have kirtan with him again. It’s been a long time since I have had the opportunity for such a joyful occasion because of conflicts like this which just seem unnecessary to me for the reasons described in this blog.

Sunday Feast, March 10th @ 11:00am

The program consists of arati, kirtan (devotional chanting), philosophical discussion and prasadam.  Please come, get inspired and inspire others through your desire to share Krsna Consciousness!

Sunday Feast, March 10th @ 11:00am

The program consists of arati, kirtan (devotional chanting), philosophical discussion and prasadam.  Please come, get inspired and inspire others through your desire to share Krsna Consciousness!

Original article from

http://www.faradayschools.com/re-topics/re-year-10-11/an-interview-with-krishna-dharma/

My name is Krishna Dharma, a Hindu Priest and author, and I have been asked to explain how Hinduism sits with science. As some of you may know Hinduism has various branches and I personally belong to the branch known as Vaishnavism, which is essentially the monotheistic strand of the faith. My scriptures are called the Vedas, ancient Sanskrit writings comprising a wealth of both material and spiritual knowledge. You may have heard of the Bhagavad-gita, sometimes known as the ‘Hindu Bible’, and this is my main guide in life. I was born and raised in Christianity but for the last 35 years have been a worshipper of Krishna, a Sanskrit name of God meaning the ‘all attractive person’. A radical switch from my Christian roots some might say, but I have seen increasingly over the years that there is much in common between the major faiths. I guess though that’s a discussion for another time and another website. For now let’s stick with the science question and see what my faith has to say.

What are we talking about?

For me the starting point in any discussion always has to be definitions, just what do we mean by science, and indeed by religion? So let’s use the dictionary definitions and go from there. The Oxford dictionary defines science as “…the systematic study of the natural and physical world through observation and experiment.” I think that more or less sums it up. There shouldn’t be too much debate there, especially from students who are always doing experiments in science (although perhaps not always with the hoped for observations).

What about religion? Here the dictionary says, “The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.” That also sounds about right to me. My faith is certainly about worshipping a personal God and he is most definitely superhuman, but more about that later.

From those definitions one might wonder where religion and science could ever meet—one studying the natural world and the other the supernatural which defies observation and experiment—but in Hinduism this has never been a problem. For us the natural and supernatural are both aspects of one ultimate truth and both are understood by the same process of learning. Science and religion studied together? Aren’t they meant to be at loggerheads? Well, let’s see.

How do we get knowledge?

The most obvious common ground between the two is that both seek knowledge. Science aims to know about nature and religion about God. In the Vedas then the first consideration is the process by which we acquire knowledge, or epistemology as it is known by those who know big words. This is generally the crux of the conflict between the two. Religious believers are often accused by scientists of believing whatever they like, with no evidence or proof, while in contrast it is claimed that scientific knowledge is objectively acquired by observation and experiment. I would take issue with this assertion as the Vedas describe a detailed methodology for acquiring spiritual knowledge, which does indeed depend upon verification by evidence and even observation to some degree.

Before we go there though let’s examine the process by which we get scientific knowledge. Take experiments. These are about direct experience, either seeking to make discoveries, test hypotheses or demonstrate a known fact (hopefully). Data is gathered and conclusions are drawn. In Vedic epistemology this is accepted as a valid way of finding things out, and it is known, unsurprisingly, as ‘direct perception’, i.e. knowledge gathered by our senses. However, you may be surprised to know that we consider it the least reliable process. The reason for this is that our senses are fallible. We are always liable to misinterpret what we see. Ten people witnessing the same event are likely to give ten at least slightly different accounts. Try asking the police.

A good example is the sun, which appears as a small object in the sky, smaller than a coin. That’s as much as our immediate perception tells us. However, as we all know, it is in fact over a thousand times larger than the earth planet. So how do we know this if we cannot see it for ourselves? Quite simply by accepting knowledge from an authority we trust, in this case that most trustworthy of sources, our teachers. We learn so many things in the classroom that we have not and probably will never personally verify by sense perception. Fancy a trip to the sun? Acceptance of authority or aural reception as it is known in Hinduism is therefore an accepted means of acquiring knowledge, and the Vedas actually say it is the best means. But of course it depends upon having access to a reliable source.

Who can we trust?

Here one might argue that even though we may not have seen the evidence supporting scientific theories and knowledge, someone else has and that’s good enough. Okay, but we are still left having to trust that authority, and the Vedas point out that as well as our limited and fallible sense perception, we have a couple of other problems. These are the tendency to make mistakes and to cheat others, and I think it is fair to say science has not been aloof from either. So however we look at it we have to accept that scientific knowledge is not perfect, it’s just the best we can do given the various constraints.

Scientists will in fact admit that their theories cannot be proven, but they can be falsified. This is because they depend upon induction, which means formulating conclusions based upon observations. The trouble with this is that no matter how many observations you make that all concur, you cannot logically say that the next one will not be entirely opposed to all the others. The famous example here is the statement that ‘all ravens are black’. We have seen many ravens and they have all been black, but there is no logical reason to assume that we shall never see a white one, or one with purple and green polka dots for that matter. So we cannot definitely assert that all ravens are black without fear of contradiction.

We do indeed see that as new data is gathered old theories are challenged and changed. For example the Newton’s Theory of Mechanics, which for two hundred years had much success explaining experimental facts and even predicting new ones, such as the planet Neptune. However it did eventually hit problems and was falsified by new data, being replaced by Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. This has yet to be falsified, but it has certainly been challenged and there is no reason to suppose that it might not be superseded in time.

Higher authority

In the same way there is no reason to assume that other theories currently accepted may not be falsified in the fullness of time. For example Evolution and the Big Bang, which for many are the cornerstones of an atheistic worldview. Who is to say these will still be accepted even fifty years from now? Scientific discoveries and knowledge are in constant flux and always have been.

Therefore Vedic epistemology says that superior to both direct experience and induction is hearing from an authority. As repugnant as it may sometimes be, we have to accept authority all the time if we want to make progress in life. But again it must be trustworthy. If for example I want to get to Oxford and have no idea where it is, I need to ask someone. Naturally I would look for a person who I think is likely to know, an Oxford don say, or I could read a map written by trustworthy cartographers, or use a Satnav perhaps (they never let you down). Of course, if you don’t want to put your trust in anyone then you can strike out and hope for the best, but it might take a long time to get there.

Our knowledge will always be suspect though if we have heard it from a person who acquired it by the fallible processes of direct perception and induction. To get perfect knowledge we need to approach the perfect source, or someone who has received knowledge from that source. For me this means the supreme authority of God. Who better to tell us about the world and everything within it than the person from whom it has all come? Just like if we want to know how to operate a piece of machinery a good idea is to read the manufacturer’s instructions (which of course most of us don’t), so in the same way we should go to God to find out about the universe he created.

Proving God?

What God, one might ask? There are so many religions and scriptures all claiming to be right and all disagreeing it seems, so where does that leave us? Well again, this is probably a discussion for another place and time, but at least the principle of finding a perfect source for perfect knowledge is, I would suggest, a sound one. How and where we find that source is another question, but for sure it is none of us.

For me there are some simple scientific arguments that suggest the existence of God, whatever name you give him. For example from Einstein (for the time being) we know that all matter can be reduced to energy. But surely this begs a question. From where does this energy emanate? Energy always has its energetic source; ask any householder facing ever increasing energy bills from the supplier. We do not see energy in this world appearing randomly, it is generated. If you feel heat you know there is a heater or, now and again, the sun is out. When there is light we know there is a bulb or some other light source somewhere. So just where is the immense energy of the entire universe emanating from? Could God be a spectacularly huge generator? Hmm, probably not.

Or take laws. To its credit science has discovered certain universal laws, but who is the lawmaker and indeed upholder? In our experience laws do not make and keep themselves, they are made by legislators and they require enforcing. Without law enforcement agencies there would soon be chaos. So who keeps the laws of the universe working? Why can’t we break them? And why do they not randomly change themselves? Who is to say that they should not?

Expanding our perception

The Vedas offer detailed scientific answers to the above questions which can be verified, but not necessarily by the empiric method employed by science, that is to say by direct perception of quantifiable data. Nor can many of the Vedic descriptions of reality be easily conceptualised by the mind. However, a process is given by which we can expand our consciousness to enable a different kind of perception and understanding by which we can ultimately realise God and the true nature of his creation. It is a discipline requiring dedication and training, like any other. There are strict parameters, rules that must be followed and certain evidence that should be seen if one is properly practising, such as becoming more peaceful, happier within oneself and therefore less desirous of sensual enjoyments. Just like the saints we hear about. They are experiencing what the Bhagavad-gita calls the ‘higher taste’ of spiritual happiness and are thus able to remain aloof from what they realise is the lesser taste of worldly pleasure. This is one proof that one is progressing in spiritual knowledge and moving towards God.

In other words, you cannot believe and do whatever you like in the name of religion. Not at least if you want to get the desired result. You need to follow the proper instructions and traverse a carefully delineated path under the guidance of a person who has already made that journey.

Sometimes the Bhagavad Gita is called the ‘science of God’. Following its directions is not unlike a scientific experiment in that various conditions must be met, certain actions taken and a particular result expected. It goes beyond the empiric process in that the performer of the experiment must undergo personal changes, make behavioural adjustments and engage in spiritual practises, but it gives a result that no science experiment performed in the lab will ever achieve.

Perfect knowledge

So what does God say in my religion? Well, in the Bhagavad Gita (spoken by Krishna) he not only gives knowledge about the material world, how it was created and how it runs etc, but he also explains why it is here in the first place, how we ended up here and where we really belong. He also extensively describes his own nature and how he can be known. These are not areas that science will ever fathom, nor does it even try, but surely these are the most important questions we need to ask.

Krishna begins by describing how we are eternal parts of the supreme eternal whole. This can be perceived by us all with a little introspection. First of all, we are plainly different from the bodies we inhabit, which undergo constant transformation while we remain the same person within. Even science tells us that our bodily cells renew every seven years or so. There is therefore no reason to assume that when the bodily cells cease to function we will cease to exist. Large numbers of them can in fact cease to work and we continue to live on as the very same person. Krishna therefore tells us that we are immortal souls, that when the body dies we continue to live in form after form until we attain self realisation.

As the Greek oracle proclaimed, ‘know thyself’, and this is the first instruction in the Gita. It tells us we are parts of the Supreme Spirit and therefore we have the same nature—not only of eternality, but also pure knowledge and bliss. There is evidence for this as well in that we can see how we are always aspiring to attain those three states. Take the first, eternality. We constantly strive to secure our ongoing existence, seeking good health, longevity and whatever security we can in what is, let’s face it, a rather insecure world. Knowledge is also constantly sought in so many ways, we want to know what is happening (such as all those desperately important FB updates), we want the news and don’t like to be in the dark. And of course everything we do is aimed at somehow increasing our happiness or decreasing our discomfort and suffering.

From this we can understand that we are trying to attain what is in fact our real nature. Like a fish out of water struggling to get back in it again, we too are trying to get back to where we belong. The Gita also tells us where that is, but I will save that for another time. I just wanted to present this as an example of using another type of evidence, namely personal experience and introspection, to support knowledge received from hearing.

Conclusion

This is really just a brief introduction to my faith and its perspective on science. It goes much further than this for, as I mentioned, the Vedas also deal directly with many branches of material science. Some of you may have heard of Vedic mathematics for example, which I have found to be a pretty amazing alternative to the Western system. There is also Ayurveda, quite well known these days, which deals with medicine and general health. Then there is knowledge on economics, politics, martial arts and so many other fields. All of it however is received from higher authority, with its origins in divinity. Material knowledge is given to enable us to live peacefully while we work on achieving spiritual understanding. The two are meant to go together.

Ultimately the real purpose of all knowledge is to solve our problems and attain happiness. But what is that knowledge that will bring a final end to all our problems? That is the great aim of science; finding a permanent solution to all of life’s difficulties, but without religion I don’t think it will ever get there. In Hinduism therefore the two must be married together. We therefore say that religion without science or philosophy is just sentiment, but also science or philosophy without religion is only speculation that will never arrive at a conclusion. No matter what theory we reach there will always be someone looking for that white raven to disprove it, and sooner or later they will find it.

1. gaining a sense of superiority.
2. getting back at someone
3. establish our position as being the best
4. to distract people from considering our own faults

1. respond with prayer
2. to react according to dharma
3. get spiritual support

1. You do not have to have any material qualification to begin bhakti.
2. The Lord helps you because you are approaching Him directly and He is reciprocal.
3. You can engage all your abilities and all your emotions in it.
4. You can do it twenty-four hours a day.

1. gaining a sense of superiority.
2. getting back at someone
3. establish our position as being the best
4. to distract people from considering our own faults

1. respond with prayer
2. to react according to dharma
3. get spiritual support

1. You do not have to have any material qualification to begin bhakti.
2. The Lord helps you because you are approaching Him directly and He is reciprocal.
3. You can engage all your abilities and all your emotions in it.
4. You can do it twenty-four hours a day.

Is it too much to ask for a spiritual leadership free from corruption? Apparently it is. 

Last year I reported a violation of ISKCON Law 3.5.5.1.3.9, pertaining to Child Protection Concerns, which had occurred at Gita-nagari in 2005.  The persons I identified as violating that law were Radhanatha, Malati, and Tamohara.  In 2005, Tamohara was the director of the Child Protection Office for ISKCON. 

I did not know about ISKCON Law 3.5.5.1.3.9 until after Bir Krsna Swami was censured based upon it.  None the less, the “law” was in in effect in 2005, and those three had a duty to know and follow it.  Instead they conspired an agreement between themselves in contempt of that “law,” which created a dangerous situation at Gita-nagari.  I did my duty to deal with that situation, and my actions were nothing more than to make up for the unsafe conditions brought about by these GBC’s contempt for ISKCON Law.  Mostly I was just trying to get the facts about the situation, although ISKCON Law required the facts to be provided to householders by the Temple President or the GBC for our familys’ safety.

Because my concern for child protection exceeded my faith in these gurus after they brought a known child molester to my community, I was labeled an aparadhi against Bhakti-Tirtha and Radhanatha and treated as a demon to the point of being driven away from ISKCON and the Hare Krsna movement altogether. 

I was so upset by the injustice and Krsna’s failure to protect my spiritual life that I tried to renounce bhakti and become an atheist.  I had been doing that for about two years when I decided even though I felt quite separated from ISKCON, I still cared about their child protection problem.  So I sent a complaint by email describing the violation of ISKCON Law by those individuals, including saying that I was driven from the Hare Krsna movement because of it, along with my wife and kids.

I sent the email to the ISKCON Child Protection Office and the GBC  Executive Committee. The CPO responded that they had changed management since then and so couldn’t really do anything.  The GBC EC did not respond at all. 

So last night I learned that Tamohara dasa, the same fellow who was heading the CPO, whom I also reported as having violated ISKCON Law regarding Child Protection Concerns, is now the Vice Chairman of the GBC EC.  No wonder the EC did not respond.  The corruption of ISKCON leadership makes me sick. 

What kind of lowlifes can receive a letter saying their dereliction of duties and contempt for the laws of the spiritual society they are in charge of leading caused an innocent family to be demonized and consequently lose faith and leave, and not even have the decency to give a response?  I cannot fathom it. Apparently these people have no shame at all. 

Here is the ISKCON Law, for reference:
“3.5.5.1.3.9 Child Protection Concerns Persons, who after an ISKCON investigation, are confirmed to be guilty of child abuse must report their status to the local Temple President upon their arrival in an ISKCON community. Also, it is the obligation of a Temple President to determine for every member joining his community, if the newcomer is a confirmed child abuser. The Temple President is then obliged to notify the local householders and GBC of the offender’s presence. The local GBC should be advised if a Temple President knowingly arranges for a confirmed child abuser to be supported by a temple, or live on temple property without first notifying the householder community as per ISKCON laws. The local GBC is to supervise the situation to be sure the Temple President follows the following GBC guidelines: 1. “In no case should a confirmed perpetrator remain in the local community unless the local ISKCON authorities obtain the written authorization of no less than three-quarter of the parents of children at the project or in the community. 2. The local government authorities and/or the ISKCON Board of Education will make the final determination of the appropriate degree of segregation. (1990-119.4)” 3. Every GBC make sure the temples presidents in his zone are made aware of this resolution and GBC guidelines.”

http://scratchpad.wikia.com/wiki/Iskcon_Law_Book

  I was reading Chapter 14 of Nectar of Devotion today & came across a lovely point I’d like to share. Basically jnana (knowledge) & viragya (renunciation) are not very desirable things. Too much knowledge or renunciation can lead to a hardening of the heart which is counterproductive to developing love for Krishna. Bhakti requires […]

Sunday 16 March 6pm
On this upcoming full moon day it’s the birthday of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu – the leader & founder of mantra music meditation. It’s a big day in the Bhakti-Yoga calendar, so come for a Glow Party! … it’ll be a dazzling decorated evening for the eyes and ears with Kirtan, a live drama performance & gourmet food, then after dinner we’ll dive into more Kirtan interwoven with a candlelit arati ceremony, koha entry.

BY GUNACUDA DEVI DASI

MAYAPUR - Experience the best of both worlds in Mayapur where excellence in academic and spiritual life can be experienced simultaneously.

When I first came into contact with the Bhagavad Gita in 2003, followed by my spiritual master, then by ISKCON/devotees, I thought I had fallen into the ideal lifestyle. This is what I had been searching for. Here is a philosophy which has all the answers to my questions, a society that can fulfill all […]

My first upset as an initiated devotee was during my initiation ceremony.  The chief desire that motivated me to seek initiation was that I hoped it would somehow help improve my chanting of the Hare Krsna mahamantra.  I really wanted that, but it didn’t seem to happen.  I also wanted to be accepted in the parampara with a name indicating a servant of Krsna.  When I heard my name given as “Pandu das,” a feeling of dread came over me.  I had viewed Pandu Maharaj as the chief material cause of the war at Kuruksetra. 
 
When the initiation ceremony was over, I was instructed to go around and beg some dakshin for my guru.  I did that, and after giving it I asked him what was Pandu’s relationship with Krsna.  He said Pandu was Krsna’s uncle by marriage.  I asked if Pandu had ever met Krsna, and he asked me if I had read Mahabharata.  I said that I had, but it was a Hindu version from before I met devotees, so he advised that I read a specific devotee translation.  I did, but it didn’t answer the question.
 
Later he said he gave me the Pandu name because of Maharaj Pandu being a good father.  I was dumbfounded by this.  Pandu was cursed because of inadvertently killing a brahmana by reckless hunting in violation of the applicable rules of the time.  The curse said he would immediately die if he tried to have sex.  Consequently, Pandu could only be a stepfather thanks to a prior benediction given to Kunti, whom he insulted by being overcome with lust for his younger wife. 
 
Pandu knew he would die if he tried to have sex, but he attempted it anyway, even before his stepchildren were grown.  He knew this would leave his stepchildren without a father, and I presume he understood that this would create a potential conflict for control of the monarchy.  Sometimes it’s considered that Bhishma was to blame for the war because he did not break his vow of celibacy when it became a possible solution to the growing conflict, but it does not make sense to me that Bhishma should be blamed for not breaking his great vow to solve a problem created by Pandu’s inability to control himself. 
 
It could be said that Pandu had to die in order for the course of events to occur that led to the speaking of Bhagavad-gita, but I do not believe that Krsna can be thwarted by a course of material events.  To my understanding, Maharaj Pandu consciously abandoned his children just to have a moment of sex, and his inability to restrain his lust was the chief material cause of the war at Kuruksetra.  Getting named after him felt to me like a curse of failure upon my spiritual life, and unfortunately it seems to be one that has so far come true.

I seem to be in a very weird circumstance.  The mean behavior of devotees made me quit aspiring for Krsna consciousness and try to believe that Krsna is imaginary, but associating with atheists renewed my faith in Krsna.  I had been trying my best to serve devotees according to my duty, but the GBC contemptuously broke ISKCON Law pertaining to child protection in my community, and consequently my performance of duty was seen as offensive.  Wanting to impeach me from my service, several brahmanas lied to me and also induced my guru to lie to me.  There are no words for the grief I suffered because of this.  It still hurts me seven years later.
 
I endured feeling almost like a ghost for almost two years, and then decided to accept blame for whatever caused me to leave devotee association, although I did not actually understand any fault on my own part.  Because this humility was artificial, despite being a sincere attempt, I could not sustain it.  I simply did not trust my guru anymore, nor the brahmanas in my community.  I became attracted to ISKCON because of Srila Prabhupada’s books and not due to having met any devotee.  I had already read Bhagavad-gita As It Is three times and was convinced before ever meeting a devotee.  My faith in Krsna consciousness was due to Srila Prabhupada and Krsna’s intervention.  Accepting a substitute guru in accordance with ISKCON standards has been a disaster for my spiritual life.
 
One day our local GBC came to the temple and explained that new bylaws were being imposed because the Rtvik supporters were “enemies of ISKCON.”   I thought if anyone is to be my enemy, I should understand their beliefs.  Upon doing so, I became convinced that the rtviks understanding was better than what ISKCON was asserting.  Unfortunately this made me an “enemy of ISKCON,” although I did not want to be.   After some time, I realized that the rtvik view could not prevail because Srila Prabhupada had given enough authority to the group who would designate themselves as “Zonal Acaryas” that no one would be able to successfully challenge them.  It became my belief that Srila Prabhupada wanted to accept people like me as disciples, but that he failed to manifest that fact.  Some say he was poisoned, but I don’t know.  It’s almost irrelevant.  Getting poisoned by one’s disciples is also a failure.
 
My desire to uphold child protection standards made me an enemy of my community.  My desire to take shelter of Srila Prabhupada made me an enemy of ISKCON.  My inability to divorce ISKCON’s scandals from its Founder-Acarya made me an enemy of the rtviks.  One day the last straw came upon me, and despite chanting 16 rounds per day until then, I put my japa bag away and have not chanted a single round since.  That was in summer 2010. Previously I had completed about 55,000 rounds.   I had no other spiritual faith except for Krsna and Srila Prabhupada, so I resolved to attempt forgetting Krsna and become an atheist.  It took me about a year to stop hearing Hare Krsna in my mind, enough so that I could feel sort of normal by ordinary standards.  I identified with the atheist community for more than a year, almost two, but it bothered me that they did not seem to know Vaisnava philosophy.  I found their arguments inadequate against Vaisnava philosophy, so I presented it in an attempt to elicit their arguments against it.  It soon became apparent that they did not understand Vaisnava philosophy because they did not want to understand it.  Consequently, from atheistic association, I was able to recover my faith in the Vedas.
 
This strikes me as extremely odd, even despite the name choice for my blog.  I sought devotees because Krsna said to get their association, but then devotees made me stop believing in Krsna until atheists inadvertently helped me to again recognize the Vedas as authoritative. 
 
This puts me in a dilemma, because it doesn’t change the fact that my guru lied to me or that the brahmana leaders in my community lied to me to separate me from my duty, because the “guru” wanted to glorify a child molester in contempt of ISKCON Law.  My guru also said he would arrange a mediator to come help me resolve the problem with my community, but he never did it.  Until recently I haven’t paid attention to ISKCON politics for the past few years, but of course nothing has changed.  Devotees are still fighting among themselves.  I practically have no guru so I do not feel welcome in any devotee association.  ISKCON could easily solve this problem (by simply allowing within ISKCON both regular guru initiations and rtvik initiations with Srila Prabhupada as the guru), but clearly they won’t, and consequently I seem to have no hope for spiritual association unless my next birth gives a new opportunity.   I would like to be able to make peace with my “guru” and with the brahmanas who lied to me, but my apologies to them were never reciprocated, so I lack the experiential basis for trusting them. 
 
How can a person surrender to someone who is not trusted?  How can I trust a guru who lied to me but apparently is not sorry about it?  How can I become a devotee without devotee association, trust in brahmanas, or faith in a guru?  Devotees are supposed to be knowledgeable and merciful, but I seem to be unable to get the help I need to confidently understand what Krsna wants me to do. 

The Art Department has been actively expanding over the recent months. The images from the drawings are coming to life as sculptors and masons shape their masterpieces on the temple site.

The most exciting endeavor has been the recent development of one of the elephants at the main entrance to the temple. There will be two elephants which will serve as decorative ornamentation, each built around a pillar. The sculptures will be six meters high and will conceal the supporting pillar structure.

This first prototype will serve as a visual aid so the artists can modify the design if needed. The towering figure was first shaped by straw then covered by plaster of Paris to show more detail. Once the plaster is completed, the art team will judge the creation and make any necessary refinements. Though this is quite a laborious process, the elephant will be dismantled once the artists are satisfied with the final template. Building models is a crucial aspect in the progress of many of the TOVP’s special features. It allows the artists to see how the dimensions from the drawings translate into tangible forms. To help with this process, a clay elephant was sculpted by Drdha Vrata Das so the sculptors on site would also have a visual to work from. Changes to the clay elephant have also been made throughout the creative process since the team could see which elements worked and which details needed to be adjusted. A short distance from the elephant sculpture, another pillar is being intricately disguised. This pillar is being ornately molded by bricks a mason chisels into the desired shape. His fluid movements are amazing to watch as he artfully models each brick to fit cohesively with the others. Watching the artists work with their respective ‘canvases’ is an amazing event because it showcases the pure ecstasy of Divine inspiration.

Here is a link to an article I wrote for the Faraday Schools website, a joint effort of Reading and Cambridge Universities that explores the relationship between religion and science.

http://www.faradayschools.com/re-topics/re-year-10-11/an-interview-with-krishna-dharma/

I haven't written in a long ass while. This "real" life in the "real" world has taken precedent over any online existence. My trials and tribulations, while not many, have been intense and energy draining (mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically). But that's nothing new, is it? I'm sure everyone else can also relate with their own tales of woe. After all, that's what this material world is all about, isn't it? Suffering and misery? (Of course it's our consciousness that makes it heaven or hell, but that's a whole different topic that I didn't come here to discuss).

Tomorrow is the auspicious appearance day of Sri Nityananda Prabhu, that divine incarnation of Sri Balarama, who appeared with Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu back in the 1500s. The divinity and importance of these personalities is a matter of faith and debate, but that is also not the reason I'm here writing.

I'm here to express my meager realizations about Sri Nityananda Prabhu. "Realizations" from one as fallen as myself are something of a joke, yet I believe no matter what our position is in devotional service that we can all have some kind of personal experience and realization. While inherently personal, intimate and private, it's also important to share these things with others, for in sharing both the speaker and the listener become immersed in the ocean of transcendence.

I don't claim to be advanced...at all. I don't claim to follow all of the rules and regulations very strictly. I don't claim to have attained my siddha-deha or to be experiencing bhava. I am nothing. I have nothing, yet I have a deep faith in Sri Nityananda Prabhu that has come from some previous sukriti from some previous births. There has always just been an inexplicable attraction there ever since I came in contact with the devotional process.

The connection is fundamentally rooted in my connection with Sri Guru. Sri Guru is Sri Nityananda Prabhu. And Sri Guru is not just our diksa-guru. Sri Guru is not just one being in a physical body that appears before us as the diksa-guru. Sri Guru is the principle of Guru: guru-tattva. This Sri Guru pervades the entire fabric of existence, for He is non-different than Sri Balarama, Sri Nityanandarama.

This may all sound very esoteric, but it's very simple: Sri Guru is in everyone and everything. He is in every interaction with other living and non-living beings. Your family? Your friends? That stranger on the street? Externally they appear as these different beings that we identify with according to our bodily relationships, but deeper than that, in the essence, there is nothing but our self and Sri Guru. All of the other external appearances are illusions.

When we get mad at someone or feel hatred or anger towards someone, it's not that person who is to blame. It's Sri Guru trying to teach us something, trying to stir our souls to bring us to a deeper level of understanding and spiritual experience. But we so often fail. We so often can't hear Sri Guru because of our false egos and our full absorption in our physical bodies and minds. We don't relate with the world as an eternal spiritual being. We relate with the world as this false identity of being male, female, human, black, white, Chinese, poor, wealthy, happy, sad, etc.

It's said that a maha-bhagavat, a great devotee of Krishna, cannot preach when they are situated on the highest platform of realization. Why? Because they don't see anyone as fallen. They see themselves as fallen. They see everything that is happening as the direct movements and hand of Sri Krishna. Remember King Rishabadeva? People were spitting on him, throwing rocks at him, throwing shit at him, etc. yet he didn't protest. He didn't fight back. He saw everything in the context of Krishna and Krishna's energy.

This is a lofty platform indeed and one that cannot be imitated. But we're not out to imitate. We're out to try and understand, appreciate and move towards that ideal. It begins with realizing this presence of Sri Guru in everyone and everything. We have to stop blaming others for our problems. We have to stop externalizing our inner issues on the world around us. There is no one to blame for our misery other than our very self. This takes humility to admit and humility to actually live it.

I am no great devotee. Everyone knows my failings. I have no reason to try and deceive anyone about my devotional practices. I have fallen, gotten back up and fallen again and got back up again. This is our struggle against the material energy, against illusion. Sri Nityananda Prabhu is well aware of our dilemma in this kali-yuga. He is with us at every moment, yet we fail to see Him. For someone deeply absorbed in Krishna Consciousness they find it strange that one cannot see Krishna, when Krishna is everywhere and everything. How can we not see Krishna in a metal spoon? Because we're conditioned souls who only look at the externals.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble in a stream of wonderful, blissful consciousness, meditating on Sri Nityananda Prabhu and His presence in our moment-to-moment existence. I wish I could leave my physical body right now, while I'm swimming in these reflections. That would be the perfection of my existence. Perfection is not having material success, wealth, beauty, fame. Perfection and true wealth are the lotus feet of Sri Nityananda Prabhu. And not in some kind of abstract, conceptual way, but in really realizing what that means to have His lotus feet in your heart. He is not some mythical figure. He is not a story in a book. He is eternal, living Divinity that is the basis of all existence, representing the sat (the potency of eternality) in sat-cit-ananda. His energy pervades all existence for both the material and spiritual realms. We cannot escape Him or avoid Him, yet somehow we foolish jivas still cannot see Him.

Sri Nityananda Prabhu is wonderfully manifest as the principle of Guru. For those of us who cannot see and appreciate Him in everyone and everything (just as the avadhuta brahman in the Srimad Bhagavatam did: http://srimadbhagavatam.com/11/8/summary/en1 ) then He comes in the manifest form of our diksa and siksa gurus. Those gurus are our means to interact with and serve Sri Nityananda Prabhu. I cannot claim to love Sri Nityananda Prabhu and then neglect or ignore my Spiritual Master. This also means ignoring his instructions, which I have failed miserably at following and maintaining. Therefore my attraction to Sri Nityananda Prabhu is meaningless if I cannot strictly follow the instructions of my Gurudeva.

I am so unfortunate and weak-hearted that the thought of chanting 16-rounds everyday seems impossible. The thought of giving up any form of sexual gratification seems impossible. The thought of rooting out all selfish desires and desires for sense gratification (like watching mundane movies or listening to mundane music) sounds impossible. I do not possess the strength to overcome my anarthas. None of us do, really. That strength must come from the mercy of Sri Guru, Sri Nityananda Prabhu. We have no power or ability of our own. We cannot make ourselves spiritually advanced by our own endeavors or devotional practices. We could stictly follow all of the rules and regulations, yet still have no spiritual realization or genuine experience of transcendence. Everything in kali-yuga is dependent upon the mercy of Sri-Sri Gauranga-Nityananda, and that mercy descends through the agency of our Guru. Dedication to the Spiritual Master must become our life and soul. It must become the reason we live and breathe and move through this world. Through that seva and dedication, the mercy of Sri Nityananda Prabhu flows into our hearts and we can begin to experience the higher stages of devotional service.

In conclusion, I make this heartfelt prayer to Sri Nityananda Prabhu:

My dear Nityananda Prabhu, you are the source of all material and spiritual worlds. You are the source and shelter of all living entities. The ignorant, conditioned souls cannot see or appreciate You and Your glories. They are absorbed in bodily identification and false ego and waste their time pursuing temporary sense gratification. My dear Lord, I am one of these foolish jivas. I have wasted so much time in the material worlds trying to find happiness and pleasure, yet all I have endured is suffering, anxiety and confusion. I wish you would allow me to stay under the shade of Your lotus feet. Please shower me with the benediction that I may never forget your Lotus feet under any circumstances, whether in happiness or distress or while awake or asleep. Forgetting You is the source and cause of all misery. Remembering You is salvation, liberation and pure ananda. I don't want anything else in this world except the boon of remembering You and Your wonderful pastimes. I pray that my mind may remain absorbed in thoughts of You even until the time of my death. Some people pray to become gopis and manjaris, but for me my dear Nityananda Prabhu, I only pray that you keep me close to Your lotus feet and Your divine associates. Besides You and Your mercy, I have no other recourse or shelter in this world. Please be merciful to me! Please Nitai! Please!

I haven't written in a long ass while. This "real" life in the "real" world has taken precedent over any online existence. My trials and tribulations, while not many, have been intense and energy draining (mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically). But that's nothing new, is it? I'm sure everyone else can also relate with their own tales of woe. After all, that's what this material world is all about, isn't it? Suffering and misery? (Of course it's our consciousness that makes it heaven or hell, but that's a whole different topic that I didn't come here to discuss).

Tomorrow is the auspicious appearance day of Sri Nityananda Prabhu, that divine incarnation of Sri Balarama, who appeared with Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu back in the 1500s. The divinity and importance of these personalities is a matter of faith and debate, but that is also not the reason I'm here writing.

I'm here to express my meager realizations about Sri Nityananda Prabhu. "Realizations" from one as fallen as myself are something of a joke, yet I believe no matter what our position is in devotional service that we can all have some kind of personal experience and realization. While inherently personal, intimate and private, it's also important to share these things with others, for in sharing both the speaker and the listener become immersed in the ocean of transcendence.

I don't claim to be advanced...at all. I don't claim to follow all of the rules and regulations very strictly. I don't claim to have attained my siddha-deha or to be experiencing bhava. I am nothing. I have nothing, yet I have a deep faith in Sri Nityananda Prabhu that has come from some previous sukriti from some previous births. There has always just been an inexplicable attraction there ever since I came in contact with the devotional process.

The connection is fundamentally rooted in my connection with Sri Guru. Sri Guru is Sri Nityananda Prabhu. And Sri Guru is not just our diksa-guru. Sri Guru is not just one being in a physical body that appears before us as the diksa-guru. Sri Guru is the principle of Guru: guru-tattva. This Sri Guru pervades the entire fabric of existence, for He is non-different than Sri Balarama, Sri Nityanandarama.

This may all sound very esoteric, but it's very simple: Sri Guru is in everyone and everything. He is in every interaction with other living and non-living beings. Your family? Your friends? That stranger on the street? Externally they appear as these different beings that we identify with according to our bodily relationships, but deeper than that, in the essence, there is nothing but our self and Sri Guru. All of the other external appearances are illusions.

When we get mad at someone or feel hatred or anger towards someone, it's not that person who is to blame. It's Sri Guru trying to teach us something, trying to stir our souls to bring us to a deeper level of understanding and spiritual experience. But we so often fail. We so often can't hear Sri Guru because of our false egos and our full absorption in our physical bodies and minds. We don't relate with the world as an eternal spiritual being. We relate with the world as this false identity of being male, female, human, black, white, Chinese, poor, wealthy, happy, sad, etc.

It's said that a maha-bhagavat, a great devotee of Krishna, cannot preach when they are situated on the highest platform of realization. Why? Because they don't see anyone as fallen. They see themselves as fallen. They see everything that is happening as the direct movements and hand of Sri Krishna. Remember King Rishabadeva? People were spitting on him, throwing rocks at him, throwing shit at him, etc. yet he didn't protest. He didn't fight back. He saw everything in the context of Krishna and Krishna's energy.

This is a lofty platform indeed and one that cannot be imitated. But we're not out to imitate. We're out to try and understand, appreciate and move towards that ideal. It begins with realizing this presence of Sri Guru in everyone and everything. We have to stop blaming others for our problems. We have to stop externalizing our inner issues on the world around us. There is no one to blame for our misery other than our very self. This takes humility to admit and humility to actually live it.

I am no great devotee. Everyone knows my failings. I have no reason to try and deceive anyone about my devotional practices. I have fallen, gotten back up and fallen again and got back up again. This is our struggle against the material energy, against illusion. Sri Nityananda Prabhu is well aware of our dilemma in this kali-yuga. He is with us at every moment, yet we fail to see Him. For someone deeply absorbed in Krishna Consciousness they find it strange that one cannot see Krishna, when Krishna is everywhere and everything. How can we not see Krishna in a metal spoon? Because we're conditioned souls who only look at the externals.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble in a stream of wonderful, blissful consciousness, meditating on Sri Nityananda Prabhu and His presence in our moment-to-moment existence. I wish I could leave my physical body right now, while I'm swimming in these reflections. That would be the perfection of my existence. Perfection is not having material success, wealth, beauty, fame. Perfection and true wealth are the lotus feet of Sri Nityananda Prabhu. And not in some kind of abstract, conceptual way, but in really realizing what that means to have His lotus feet in your heart. He is not some mythical figure. He is not a story in a book. He is eternal, living Divinity that is the basis of all existence, representing the sat (the potency of eternality) in sat-cit-ananda. His energy pervades all existence for both the material and spiritual realms. We cannot escape Him or avoid Him, yet somehow we foolish jivas still cannot see Him.

Sri Nityananda Prabhu is wonderfully manifest as the principle of Guru. For those of us who cannot see and appreciate Him in everyone and everything (just as the avadhuta brahman in the Srimad Bhagavatam did: http://srimadbhagavatam.com/11/8/summary/en1 ) then He comes in the manifest form of our diksa and siksa gurus. Those gurus are our means to interact with and serve Sri Nityananda Prabhu. I cannot claim to love Sri Nityananda Prabhu and then neglect or ignore my Spiritual Master. This also means ignoring his instructions, which I have failed miserably at following and maintaining. Therefore my attraction to Sri Nityananda Prabhu is meaningless if I cannot strictly follow the instructions of my Gurudeva.

I am so unfortunate and weak-hearted that the thought of chanting 16-rounds everyday seems impossible. The thought of giving up any form of sexual gratification seems impossible. The thought of rooting out all selfish desires and desires for sense gratification (like watching mundane movies or listening to mundane music) sounds impossible. I do not possess the strength to overcome my anarthas. None of us do, really. That strength must come from the mercy of Sri Guru, Sri Nityananda Prabhu. We have no power or ability of our own. We cannot make ourselves spiritually advanced by our own endeavors or devotional practices. We could stictly follow all of the rules and regulations, yet still have no spiritual realization or genuine experience of transcendence. Everything in kali-yuga is dependent upon the mercy of Sri-Sri Gauranga-Nityananda, and that mercy descends through the agency of our Guru. Dedication to the Spiritual Master must become our life and soul. It must become the reason we live and breathe and move through this world. Through that seva and dedication, the mercy of Sri Nityananda Prabhu flows into our hearts and we can begin to experience the higher stages of devotional service.

In conclusion, I make this heartfelt prayer to Sri Nityananda Prabhu:

My dear Nityananda Prabhu, you are the source of all material and spiritual worlds. You are the source and shelter of all living entities. The ignorant, conditioned souls cannot see or appreciate You and Your glories. They are absorbed in bodily identification and false ego and waste their time pursuing temporary sense gratification. My dear Lord, I am one of these foolish jivas. I have wasted so much time in the material worlds trying to find happiness and pleasure, yet all I have endured is suffering, anxiety and confusion. I wish you would allow me to stay under the shade of Your lotus feet. Please shower me with the benediction that I may never forget your Lotus feet under any circumstances, whether in happiness or distress or while awake or asleep. Forgetting You is the source and cause of all misery. Remembering You is salvation, liberation and pure ananda. I don't want anything else in this world except the boon of remembering You and Your wonderful pastimes. I pray that my mind may remain absorbed in thoughts of You even until the time of my death. Some people pray to become gopis and manjaris, but for me my dear Nityananda Prabhu, I only pray that you keep me close to Your lotus feet and Your divine associates. Besides You and Your mercy, I have no other recourse or shelter in this world. Please be merciful to me! Please Nitai! Please!