Thursday, March 8th, 2018
→ The Walking Monk

Toronto, Ontario

The Walk Helped

A mid-day stroll led me to the Brickworks and the ravine, away from everything the urban reality represents.  There’s traffic.  There’s people experiencing discontent—it’s on their faces.  What troubles them?  Who knows?  The sky is grey.  I went out of the building—the ashram—after news of someone slowly leaving the mission.  Also, news came to me of a couple speaking about divorce.

It was a dark hour.  Walking was so justified.  I was chanting.

Just before hitting the trail on the ravine, a guy in workman’s clothes, hard hat and all, saw me across the street.  He gave a warm, “How’s it goin’?”

I reached the ravine and ten minutes into the beauty of it, I received a call and I answered it saying, “Haribol!  Tell me some good news!”

And the caller did.  He’d been struggling devotionally but more recently things have picked up for him.  “Congratulations!” I said.  “Now don’t let go this time, of what you’ve achieved.”  Staying strong is what I encouraged.  Things were looking brighter as I plodded on.

At the Brickworks itself, the trail came to an end.  Construction signs indicated, with barriers, that walkers/runners were to turn back.  So I did.  No choice.

The lesson?

I had my break and now I had the opportunity to go back to deal with issues.  “Don’t try to escape!” was the message.

Everyone must go out for breathing in new air each day.  Brightness will come!

May the Source be with you!

6 km

Intelligence over Mind 2 – Concentration
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[Seminar at Silicon Valley, USA]

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Wednesday, March 7th, 2018
→ The Walking Monk

Toronto, Ontario

Krishna As Messenger

Krishna was known to play a flute, to dance, to fight, and yes, to run and walk.  He is also known as Partha Sarathi, a chariot driver for friend and warrior, Arjuna.  He drives.

In fact the famed dialogue between Arjuna and Krishna, the one that became the talk which altered Arjuna’s mind completely, took place after the brief ride with Krishna via chariot and horses.  It was stationary at the time of the discussion—stationary in order that Arjuna could have a clear look at the illusions of the world.

The Lord then spoke eloquently.  Arjuna listened.

Before that, it was Krishna who solely went off to speak to the vile Duryodhana.  In an attempt to plea for peace and appeal for fairness, acting as messenger on behalf of the Pandavas, Krishna delivered a proposal.  He came humbly to adversary, Duryodhana, requesting five villages which the pious five Pandavas could rule over.  Diplomacy was applied.

Through a rigged game of dice, the Pandavas lost their land and kingdom.  Only after an exile period was there a promise for land to be returned.  But Duryodhana did not comply with a previous agreement.  Krishna was disappointed in Duryodhana’s unwillingness to be co-operative.  He was even angered as an attempt for peaceful settlement providentially failed.

Krishna was in no way about to play the flute, dance, run or walk.  His journey was by horse and chariot and he was intent on delivering the bad news that war would prevail before there would be peace.

May the Source be with you!

4 km

Intelligence over Mind 1 – Conviction
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[Seminar at Silicon Valley, USA]

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Tuesday, March 6th, 2018
→ The Walking Monk

Toronto, Ontario

I Called Her

I called my sister today.  “Connie, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday!”

“Well, thanks,” she said to her monastic bro.  Connie just turned sixty-four, so, over the phone, she sang the song by Paul McCartney, just as I had done a year and a half ago (before an audience).

“When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine…”

Of course, I’ve been losing my hair since the age of twenty, when I joined the Hare Krishnas, except for that little tuft at the back, the area of the brahma-randra.  As of late, there is no hair even there, to boast of.  This is the usual small crop of hair, the size of the calf’s hoof-print, which is called the sikha.

It was after I spoke to Connie that I took a walk with Jay, up the street on Avenue Road.  Behind a window, in a shop, there is an art display, one piece of which is a sculpture of a retro / metro monk-like yogi, sitting in a meditative pose.  He sports an adorable Mohawk.

Passersby find him interesting, as do I.  He’s young looking, almost child-like, and definitely not sixty-four.

Going back to Connie, I could not get very preachy with her by saying something like, “You’re not that body!”  That’s never worked in the past.  As far as she is concerned, I’m not a priest, but her bro.  So be it!

May the Source be with you!
5 km

The Sauce Archives: Memories in Service of my Gurudeva
→ A Convenient Truth


Sometimes I feel like writing about my personal experiences with my Guru Maharaja can come across as being narcissistic or braggadocious. I have no intention of them sounding that way and I hope the readers will not interpret them in such a way. My sole reason for sharing these experiences is two fold: 1) it’s for my own remembrance/meditation/reflection and 2) for the pleasure of the devotees who may take something out of these memories for their own personal benefit.

I was thinking what would be the best way to present these memories. After all, there are so many that it becomes difficult to categorize them all. It also becomes very difficult to remember them in a chronological order, because the passing of time has blurred the exact details of when and where.  So as I was thinking about it I thought that perhaps I would just write spontaneously and allow the memories to appear randomly in my stream of consciousness.

Then I thought I would like to maybe first remember some of the interactions with my Gurudeva where I received “the sauce” (those great moments of chastisement or embarrassment). These memories may seem of a negative nature at first glance, but upon deeper reflection they allow me to see how he was showing me “tough love” out of a genuine concern for my well-being and spiritual advancement. So without further ado, here are some of the memories that I will call “The Sauce Archives”:

A LOT TO LEARN

The year is 1995 or 1996 in Detroit, Michigan. Gurudeva is in town as the Detroit temple is one of the temples in the zones that he oversees. I don’t remember if I’m initiated yet or not at the point of this memory. He’s staying at someone’s house in the vicinity of the temple. I am there with him as his personal servant. We’re waiting for a car to come and pick him up to drive him to a devotee’s house (I think it may have been the house of our god sister Titiksa dasi and her husband, who’s name I can’t recall) for a disciples meeting. As we’re getting things prepared to leave he says to me, “Uh, make sure they have the things for guru-puja.” I acknowledge what he said. The devotee arrives to drive us.

As we’re driving, Gurudeva is in the front passenger seat and I am in the back. At some point he turns to me and inquires, “Do you have the instruments for kirtan?” I can’t remember what my full response was, but I tell him I forgot but that maybe we could borrow them from the temple. He then informs the driver to swing by the temple so we can pick up a mrdanga and kartals. I run in frantically, not wanting to make Gurudeva late. I come running back with instruments and get back into the car. Gurudeva was annoyed and said something like, “How did you forget the instruments? Was I supposed to just sit there and clap my hands?” I felt so incompetent and embarrassed! But wait, because this isn’t the worst part of this memory!

We arrive at the devotee’s house for the meeting and walk in to a kirtan. The devotees bow down as he enters and he sits down in a chair covered with a cloth. The kirtan goes on for a bit more with Gurudeva now playing kartals. As the end of the kirtan arrives and the premadhanavi prayers are recited there is then an awkward silence. There is a guru-puja tray set up and cookies to distribute, but no one is initiating the guru-puja! Everyone is kind of just standing around. Gurudeva then says something like, “So I guess we can just start the class”. I’m standing there confused, because I’m thinking, “Wait…didn’t Gurudeva tell me earlier that he wanted us to do guru-puja?” So I quickly blurt out, “Did you still want us to do guru-puja, Gurudeva?” Gurudeva quickly retorts in disbelief, “Do I want guru-puja?! I don’t want guru-puja!” (He puts the emphasis on the “I”. I can still to this day hear his voice in my head saying this!) Being such a neophyte I’m still confused and don’t fully understand what’s happening. Titiksa dasi steps in and says, “We want to OFFER you guru-puja, Gurudeva!” Gurudeva then replies, “That’s up to you, if you want to.” At that point someone steps up and begins the puja, while another devotee starts up a kirtan. It finally sinks in as I’m standing there like an idiot that the Guru doesn’t WANT guru-puja. It’s the offering of the disciples and what he wanted me to do was to oversee it and make sure it went smoothly (which I clearly totally botched!). After the program we were walking out back to the car. I remember it was cold and dark out and I still remember the way the porch light illuminated him and reflected off of his glasses and the hat he was wearing. I apologize to him for what happened with the guru-puja. He says very simply and directly, “You still have a lot to learn.”

THE SHAVEN HEAD

I don’t remember the year (maybe 1998), but I was with Gurudeva at Gita-nagari as his personal servant. We were going to leave to the Washington DC area (I believe) and his first engagement there was an interview at a radio station. Before we left I had this brilliant idea that I would shave my head clean so that I could look more externally like a devotee for the upcoming preaching programs. We were going to be leaving in a few hours and I came running up to the Institute House all proud of my clean shaven head. When I walked into Gurudeva’s room and paid obeisances he turned around and said, “Why did you shave your head?” I explained to him that I wanted to look more like a devotee for the preaching programs. He then explained to me that these programs would be better if I DIDN’T look so much like a devotee! He then said, “You really should have asked me before you did this.” I felt so ashamed and crushed. Then he asked, “Do you have a hat or baseball cap you could wear?” I replied, “I don’t think so Gurudeva.” He then said, “Well maybe you can run down to the temple and see if anyone has a hat.”

So I ran down the hill and through the woods behind the Institute House. I went in search of our god brother Nrsima-titha prabhu. I found him and asked if he had a hat I could borrow. He gave me one of those flat cap Kangol style newsboy caps. I thought it looked odd when I wore it with the bill facing forward, so I turned the bill to the back and wore it backwards. I came running back up to Gurudeva. I came into his room and paid obeisances. As I was sitting up he knocked the cap off of my head and said smiling, “What are you…trying to be cool? Wear it the other way around!” I sheepishly replied, “Yes Gurudeva.”

I have to be honest: I looked REALLY weird in that cap and I was a super skinny brahmacari with big, round frame glasses. So there I was wearing hand-me-down khaki pants that were too large for me as well as an oversized long sleeve shirt that made me look like I was being swallowed up. Combine that with my clean-shaven head and that style of cap over it (which you could still see I was very bald!) and I looked like some kind of sickly alien! I could tell Gurudeva was still annoyed when we walked into the radio station. I felt so uncomfortable and self-conscious the whole time. I learned from that experience that Gurudeva was beyond the external designations and that in the world of preaching we could adapt our external appearances in order to be more effective in delivering the message and principles of bhakti-yoga.

CARING FOR OTHERS

There was one incident once at Gita-nagari (probably also around 1998) that is still embarrassing and shameful for me to think about. One evening after a program Gurudeva had gone back up to the Institute House. The plan was for me to take prasadam and then to come up later for his bedtime routine. So on this particular evening I was getting a ride back up to the House from bhakti Derek. As we were driving along the main road and right before the driveway for the Institute House we saw in the headlights a god sister of mine walking along the side of the road. I remember thinking, “Hmm…that’s odd. What’s she doing walking out here late at night?” I figured maybe she was just going for a japa walk. Then I thought, “Well, no worries then. I have to get up to the House to serve Gurudeva! I don’t want to be late or I might get reprimanded!” So we head up the driveway and pull around back. I get out of the car and quickly head into the House. There I see Gurudeva talking on the phone. I hear him say something about this devotee who went missing and had walked off. “Oh Gurudeva!” I say. “I just saw her walking along the road.” He tells the devotee on the other end of the phone and then hangs up. I’m sitting there thinking that I just did an amazing thing by solving this mystery and helping out with this information, but my Gurudeva says to me with anger and disbelief, “Why didn’t you stop and ask if they needed help?!” I’m shocked and scared and then I quickly realize I made a huge mistake. “Were you thinking just because she’s in a female body you can’t stop and offer help?” I reply, “No, no, Gurudeva. I just knew you were waiting for me up here and…” He then cuts me off and says, “That doesn’t matter! I would have understood if you were late helping your god sister! You’re thinking you have to serve your Guru but you’re neglecting the devotees that are in need!” He was so upset with me. I felt so tiny and foolish. It was a powerful lesson for me and made me realize how neophyte my consciousness was. Service to the Guru doesn’t just mean direct, physical service to him. It means serving all of the Vaishnavas in a spirit of humility, compassion and care.

PRASADAM CONSCIOUSNESS

At some point in my fanatical brahmacari days at Gita-nagari I wouldn’t eat the cooking of certain female devotees. I didn’t advertise that I did this. It was just my personal quirk. When some of my other god brothers heard of this practice of mine, they decided to also take it up. Somehow this got back to Gurudeva. He never directly talked to me about it, but in a morning Bhagavatam class he brought the issue up during a Q&A session. He was saying that it’s not only the consciousness of the person cooking that can affect the quality of the prasadam, but it’s also the consciousness of the person who is offering it to the Deities. I realized at that moment he was talking to/about me. It made me realize that I should be more concerned about the quality of my own consciousness rather than worrying about the faults of others.

EMAILS AND WASPS

There was one time at Gita-nagari in the late 90’s where we were getting ready for an upcoming Ratha Yatra festival. It meant that the regular out reach sankirtan had to be put on hold, because they needed everyone on the farm to help get things ready. There was a lot of service to be done. At that time one of the devotees who would regularly go out on sankirtan was a little perturbed and upset that we couldn’t go out as usual. He implored me, as Gurudeva’s personal secretary, to do something about it or to stand up for the sankirtan devotees. For whatever reason I became influenced by this devotee’s persuasion and decided to take action. I had this brilliant idea to quote an email that Gurudeva had sent to some devotees in South Africa. I figured the best time to bring it up would be during an istha-gosthi gathering of devotees. As Gurudeva’s secretary I was dictating all of his email messages, so I had access to these correspondences. (Looking back at it now and even thinking about it is so embarrassing! Like what the hell was I thinking?!) I made sure that the email from Gurudeva that I selected didn’t mention any specific names, but that was more of a general support for sankirtan. The problem was of course that the email was intended for a particular place, at a particular time. So even though the email supported the supremacy of performing public sankirtan and preaching, it didn’t take into account the importance of serving and assisting the devotees over one’s own personal desires!

So anyway, at the end of this meeting, there was an opportunity to bring up any questions or concerns. “Ah-ha! Here’s my moment!” I thought. So I raise my hand and take out this folded up, printed email out of my kurta pocket. I then looked over at the devotee who had been imploring me to “save” our sankirtan preaching. I thought I was doing God’s work. I clear my throat and start reading Gurudeva’s email…the personal email…that was meant for someone else…in a different part of the world…in front of all the devotees…in a public forum. At the end of the letter I say something like, “So this is why we should still be allowed to go out and preach on sankirtan.” I see the face of the facilitator looking at me with a blank stare, like she can’t believe what I just did. She then went on to explain why this was highly inappropriate to be reading this email and why it wasn’t relevant in this case. At that moment the severity (and stupidity) of my actions started to sink in.

A couple of days later that devotee approached me and told me that Gurudeva was informed of what I did and they relayed a message from him to me. I don’t remember the specifics of what Gurudeva told me (I probably blocked it out of my mind!), but all I know is that he was upset, disappointed and irritated.

A couple of days after that we were all back into full swing of getting the temple and grounds ready for Ratha Yatra. I was standing up on a scaffolding outside of the old temple room building. I think I was doing some painting. As I’m standing there painting and reflecting on what an idiot I was, I feel this sharp pain on my hand. I look down and see a giant wasp stinging me! I swat it off and immediately I start to feel nauseous and dizzy. I climbed down from the scaffolding and laid down on the ground with my hand beginning to swell. Ekavira prabhu brought me some kind of plant to chew and place on the sting. As I was laying there on the ground I realized that this was a karmic reaction for what I had done. Needless to say I never read any of Gurudeva’s emails in public again, nor shared them with anyone else!

NEW VRINDAVAN LECTURE

I was once traveling with Gurudeva to New Vrindavan as his personal servant and secretary. It was probably around 1999. At this point I had been struggling with sex desire and wondering if I should really still be a brahmacari or not. I think this was also after I had ran away once from Gita-nagari (that’ll be a memory below). So I was in this really weird mental space while serving him. I was also kind of burnt out and exhausted mentally from being so close to him for so long (more on that below as well). I still have an email from him from this time that was sent to me shortly after the New Vrindavan trip. He said to me in that email that it was “interesting” that Krishna had arranged for myself and another brahmacari god brother to be there with him at the same time, because we were both “somewhat pretending” to be surrender brahmacaris.

I remember once being in Gurudeva’s room with him and dictating emails. I was so tired and hungry and I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my emotions. Gurudeva was naturally sensitive to other peoples’ energies anyway, so he could very easily sense that I was struggling. Out of nowhere he said to me, “…It’s like even right now, you’re just grudgingly doing this service.” I was like, “Woah, wait…what? Gurudeva just called me out for the thoughts I was having! In mid-sentence as he was dictating a message to someone else!” He was so irritated with me and I can’t blame him, because I was being so ungrateful and on the mental platform.

So later that day he said to me, “I want you to give the Bhagavatam class in the morning instead of me.” I started freaking out in my mind! “What?! Give the Bhagavatam class? In front of you? In front of HH Radhanatha Swami? In front of so many senior Prabhupada disciples?!” My anxiety was through the roof. I thought I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. The whole next morning I was just silently freaking out in my mind and dreading the time for class to begin. Before I knew it there I was sitting on the vyasasana with my Gurudeva, HH Radhanatha Swami and the assembly of devotees starring at me. Now you have to remember, I’m already stressed about my service to my Guru Maharaja and I’m already feeling like a false renunciate/fake brahmacari, etc. and now there I am having to give a class to all of this senior Vaishnavas.

Unfortunately I don’t even remember what the verse was and I don’t even remember what I said. I do recall saying something about HDG Srila Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja and a quote from him. Other than that it’s all an anxiety blur. I think at the end Mother Malati chimed in and tried to rescue me by adding to the discussion about pure bhakti. I remember I was so quiet and insecure and scared and nervous. I felt like such a fraud sitting up on that vyasasana. And I can look back and see it as Gurudeva’s mercy to let me know that I wasn’t ready to be a vessel to deliver any type of transcendental message. It was like he was saying, “So you think you’re so pure and surrendered? Let’s see you in action!” And I failed. It was as if he held a mirror up and allowed me to see myself, to see my selfishness, to see my faults and to see my weaknesses. I’ll never forget that moment.

On a side note: I sometimes think back on this memory and wish I could go back in time knowing what I know now and deliver a different kind of discussion. Maybe one day I’ll write a blog entry entitled, “The Class I Should Have Given”.

ON THE RUN!

This memory is from 2001 and takes place at Gita-nagari. This is one of the most regretful, selfish things I did as Gurudeva’s personal servant. A lot of devotees probably don’t realize just how intense it was being so physically close to Gurudeva for such extended periods of time. A lot of devotees experiences with him were more like you see him at the temple, hear him give a class and then you go and take prasadam and go home and watch TV or relax with your family and friends or go on a relaxing japa walk, etc. My experience was more what I liken to that of a firefighter having to constantly be on call and waiting for the alarm to go off. There was always a constant, high level of anxiety, anticipation and attention. There was never any down time, never any time to relax. And that was just Gurudeva’s nature. He was intense in his service to Srila Prabhupada and the Vaishnavas. He never had an off-switch. He never contemplated his own sense-gratification. (One time I even heard him say, while serving him at the Institute House in DC, “Hmmm…I wonder why I’m not tired…I wonder what I didn’t do in my service to Srila Prabhupada.” which meant he couldn’t relax because he was in some transcendental anxiety feeling like he hadn’t done enough service that day! This is a symptom of someone experiencing the higher stages of devotional service.)

So anyway, my service as his secretary mainly consisted of dictating emails. And there were A LOT of emails. Sometimes we would spend HOURS replying to emails. And I would sit on the floor with crossed legs, hunched over while typing on his laptop, because many times we would be in his room and there was no table to sit at. This eventually lead to severe back pain and issues, but even when the back pain was intense I wouldn’t say anything. I would just work through it. (It was Brahma-muhurta prabhu that later realized you could just say to Gurudeva, “Is it okay if I sit at a table while we do this?”) So imagine sitting on the floor for hours, your back is having muscle spasms and burning, Gurudeva is asking you to repeat what he just said, not once, but twice or sometimes several times and you haven’t eaten anything all day and you only got 4 hours of sleep! And this isn’t just one day. It’s EVERY single day for sometimes two or three weeks at a time. And then you realize that after you’re finished with this service you have to run down to the temple and do an offering or arati and then quickly eat something and run back up to the Institute House up a steep hill through the dark woods to go and do more emails. It was a very unique and intense kind of seva! And it lead to a lot of my ungrateful attitude and struggles in my devotional service.

So at some point it just got to be too much for me to handle. I think there was one point where I had a fever and was falling ill. I hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day and was running on very little sleep. And Gurudeva was composing an important email to the GBC that he kept revising and having me read over and over and over. I thought I was going to lose my mind. At one point I had to tell him, “Gurudeva…I think I’m becoming sick. I have a really bad fever right now. Is there anyway I could go soon and go to bed?” He replied, “Uhh…sure. Let’s just finish up these emails.” So we spent another hour replying to them. I remember walking down that hill in the dark, feeling feverish and nauseous and thinking, “What even is my life? How is being selfless supposed to be blissful and yet here I am feeling so miserable?!” It was intense and it was the daily norm when he was physically there.

That was just a little backstory to what follows. So Gurudeva was away from Gita-nagari on a preaching tour. He was due to come back soon and I started having a panic attack, like a legitimate anxiety overload. I was freaking out. Then I had this brilliant idea: I’ll just leave! I’ll just get on a train and go back home to Michigan! For whatever reason that was the solution my panicked mind came up with: just run away! Of course in retrospect I can look at it and see that this wouldn’t solve anything, but at the time it was the only solution I could see. So I devised an entire plan about how I would tell a devotee who commuted to Harrisburg that I needed a ride to the train station because I was going home to visit, but I wouldn’t tell him the whole story. And so I did just that. I made some arrangements before hand to get a train ticket from my father that would be waiting for me at the station. And one morning this devotee drove me to Harrisburg as I slouched down in the passenger seat so no one would see me.

Looking back at this moment in my life is so embarrassing and regretful. I still don’t know why I did it. For some reason I had also used the writings of HH Satsvarupa Maharaja as justification for my actions. I had read that he had struggles in his service as a secretary to Srila Prabhupada to the point where he asked Srila Prabhupada if he could leave this service. (I later wrote to Maharaja about this and received a nice letter in response from him, which I still have.)

Anyway, I finally made it to Michigan and awaited the fall out and consequences of my actions. You can imagine that Gurudeva wasn’t happy with me. He sent me an email (which I also still have) basically calling me out for my selfish nature. The email is too personal and painful to really share the whole thing in public, but here is a small portion of it:

“So, it comes down to basically selfishness, dishonesty, and somewhat of a
hate of Krishna, or let us say distrust. So therefore there is always an
underlying frustration in your nature. You may only get out of this fully
by just changing into white, having your independence with a wife, and
having your sense-gratification, and at the same time doing devotional
service as it fits into your material desires.”

And well now…here I am! I try not to look back at this time with too much regret, but it’s definitely hard in retrospect, especially now that he’s physically gone. Of course at the time too I was much younger and much more immature. I was a kid when I joined and shortly afterwards got placed into this really intense service that probably would have cracked any mortal (at least I tell myself this to feel better about my choices). (There are some sweet memories that take place after this event, but I’ll save those for another blog entry.)

LITTLE DROPS OF SAUCE

1. One time I was dressing Gurudeva’s Deities. None of Their outfits matched and all of the clothes were mixed up. It was taking me a long time to dress Them, as I was spending so much time searching for things that would match. Gurudeva noticed this and inquired why it was taking me so long. When I explained my predicament he replied, “You can just use whatever is there.” Then after a short pause he added, “Sometimes we have to be creative like anything in the service of the Lord!”

2. One time after having just arrived to Gita-nagari late at night from the Detroit temple (that’s a long story!), Gurudeva said I should call my mother to let her know I was okay and that I had arrived safely. So I used the phone in the living room. As I was talking to her he was standing near me and listening. I must have sounded scared or nervous or something, because when I got off the phone with her he said to me, “You should try not to upset your mother so much.”

3. One time on a Nirjala ekadasi I decided to take prasadam instead of doing a full fast. When I went up to the Institute House later to serve Gurudeva, he asked me if I was strictly following Nirjala. When I replied that I had taken prasadam he was grave and quiet. Then he said, “Sometimes it’s good to do some fasting. It helps control the mind and senses.” I felt like such a turd!

4. One time in Gita-nagari while I was serving Gurudeva we were sitting in his room. I asked him, “Gurudeva…I wanted to ask you a question.” “Sure, what is it?” he replied. I then said, “I was wondering…why is it so hard to be truly selfless?” He quickly replied, “Do you realize that you ask the same question over and over? Maybe you need to take a look at that.” Then he added, “It’s just like I’ve said before, the more you only worry about yourself the more miserable you will be. You need to do your service in a loving mood, not just in a begrudging mood.” I don’t fully remember what the actual answer was that he gave me. At the time I was thrown off by his comment that I ask the same question over and over! I couldn’t understand what he meant. In later reflection I could understand that he meant I wasn’t really applying the answer he was giving me. I was just asking to ask, but I wasn’t really doing the work to be more selfless!

5. One time while massaging Gurudeva’s feet in the evening he said to me, “Right now you’re caught up in your mind, but one day you’ll look back at this service and be extremely grateful.” I was shocked and almost started crying. I was so selfish and ungrateful in my service to Gurudeva, but he was right: I now look back at those experiences with such gratitude and appreciation.

6. One time while serving Gurudeva in New Vrindavan, we were sharing a cabin. I would sleep up in a loft and he had the room on the main floor. As a brahamcari I was into the whole kaupin thing. So I would wash them in the evening and hang them up to dry over the railing in the loft. On one particular morning Gurudeva said I could go to mangal-aratik by myself, because he had some work to do. So I went to the morning program and when I came back Gurudeva was chanting his japa and pacing back and forth in the main room. I paid obeisances and when I stood up he said to me, “Uh, can you take those down?” as he pointed with his japa finger towards my kaupins hanging off the railing! He then added, “I don’t want to be looking at your underwear!”

7. One time also in New Vrindavan he asked me to wash and iron his clothes. For whatever reason I accidentally left the laundry in a different building, so when he woke up that morning for mangal-aratik he asked me where his clothes were. When I told him that I forgot to bring them back and that it wasn’t even ironed yet, he became very upset and annoyed. He then said, “Well I can’t NOT go to mangal-aratik. I guess I’ll wear the clothes I was wearing yesterday. Where are they?” I had them wrapped up to be washed later, so they were all wrinkled. He didn’t say a word, but I could tell he was so annoyed at my incompetence. He quickly got dressed and I followed behind him as we walked to the temple. I felt so terrible!


8. One time at a preaching program at a college in Pittsburgh I was in charge of Gurudeva’s metal briefcase. After he gave his lecture we were all standing around talking. It was then time for Gurudeva to leave, so we rushed out. As we were walking off the campus and towards the car Gurudeva stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me and said, “Do you have my briefcase?” My heart sank. I looked at my hands. There was no briefcase in my hands! “Oh no…I forgot it Gurudeva! I’ll run back and get it!” So I took off sprinting. About 20 feet later I see a brahmacari running towards me shouting, “Maharaja! Maharaja!” I see in his hand he’s holding the briefcase. “Maharaja, you forgot your briefcase!” He hands it over to Gurudeva. Then he says, “Thank you so much. At least someone here was thinking.” Ouch! I felt like such an idiot. It was like the current meme where people say, “You had one job!” All I had to do was keep an eye on that briefcase and take care of it, but I couldn’t even do that right. Gurudeva later told me in the car that I have to be more aware and careful and that his briefcase was very important because he kept a lot of his legal documents and passport in there.

9. One time I was out with Gurudeva at a greenhouse in Mifflintown, as he wanted to go shopping for plants. He was about to leave on a month long worldwide preaching tour, but at the time he was also dealing with some health issues. As we were walking back to the car I said to him, “Gurudeva, I don’t know how you do it!” in reference to his intense traveling schedule and despite his health issues. He smiled that wonderful, big, bright grin of his and said to me, “Jayadeva…you think about yourself too much!”

Bhakti Tree Anniversary
→ Ramai Swami

The Bhakti Tree in Newcastle recently celebrated its third year since opening with a special program for the evening.

Prasadam was served first from 6pm and over a hundred guests came. This was followed by a wonderful kirtan led by Sri Prahlada who had the crowd clapping and dancing.

Sunday Love Feast – Mar 11th, 2018 – Vedic Discourse by HG Radha Govind Das
→ ISKCON Brampton



Chant: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare And Be Happy!!


When?

Sunday,March 4th,2018
11am-2pm

Where?

173 Advance Boulevard
Unit # 41
Brampton,ON,L6T 4Z7
(Free Parking)
Phone:416-648-3312

New! Listen

Click here to listen to previous class recordings on our blog
Make a Donation
ayur harati vai pumsam
udyann astam ca yann asau
tasyarte yat-ksano nita
uttama-sloka-vartaya

Both by rising and by setting, the sun decreases the duration of life of everyone, except one who utilizes the time by discussing topics of the all-good Personality of Godhead.
 ~ Srimad Bhagavatam 2.3.17




11.00 - 11.15      Tulsi Puja
11.15  - 11.30     Guru Puja                          
11:30 - 11:55     Aarti & Kirtan                        
11.55  - 12.00    Sri Nrsingadeva Prayers 
12.00 - 1:00     Vedic discourse
  1.00 - 1.30      Closing Kirtan
  1.30 - 2.00     Sanctified Free Vegetarian Feast


COMING UP AHEAD

Papamocani Ekadasi
Fasting.....................on Mon Mar 12th,2018
Breakfast................  on Tue  Mar 13th ,2018 b/w 10.44am – 11.29am

Every fortnight, we observe Ekadasi, a day of prayer and meditation. On this day we fast (or simplify our meals and abstain from grains and beans), and spend extra time reading the scriptures and chanting the auspicious Hare Krishna mantra.By constantly ‘exercising’ our minds through regular japa we can train our senses to push the threshold of contentment.
English audio glorification of all Ekadasis is available here 




Grand Celebration on the way...
March 25th


ONGOING PROGRAMS



Sunday School

To register,contact us
Email:sundayschool108@gmail.com
Call:647.893.9363

The Sunday School provides fun filled strategies through the medium of music, drama, debates, quizzes and games that present Vedic Culture to children. However the syllabus is also designed to simultaneously teach them to always remember Krishna and never forget Him. School
The Sunday School follows the curriculum provided by the Bhaktivedanta College of Education and Culture (BCEC).

Monthly sankirtan Festival(MSF)
“One who has life can preach, and one who preaches gets life.”(Previous Acaryas)
Every member of ISKCON should have the opportunity to make advancement in Krishna consciousness by preaching.We encourage everyone to come out and participate and make Srila Prabhupada happy.

Please contact:
Dharma Dasa- dharandev58@gmail.com-647.892.0739(Mississauga and Brampton regions)
The Mentorship Program

Please note that registration in the Mentorship System is now a mandatory requirement for all initiation requests at ISKCON Brampton.It

1.Facilitates  and nurtures devotees aspiring for first and second Initiation.
2.One-on-One personal follow up on a regular basis.
3.Systematic training to devotees in matters of Philosophy, Sadhna, Vaishnava behavior, etiquette, Lifestyle and attitudes.

To find details please click here

Gift Shop

Are you looking for some amazing gift items which are less expensive and more beautiful for your loved ones for festivals or many other occasions??
Our boutique is stocked with an excellent range of products, perfect for gifts or as souvenirs of your visit. It offers textiles, jewelry, incense, devotional articles, musical instruments, books, and CDs inspired by Indian culture.We're open on all Sundays and celebrations marked in our annual calendar.

When fear accelerates the imagination, let faith be the brake
→ The Spiritual Scientist

[Congregation program at Silicon Valley, California, USA]

Podcast


 

Podcast Summary


 

Video:

The post When fear accelerates the imagination, let faith be the brake appeared first on The Spiritual Scientist.

Harinama at Byron Bay – 04 March 2018 (Album of photos) Srila…
→ Dandavats



Harinama at Byron Bay - 04 March 2018 (Album of photos)
Srila Prabhupada: “Authorities who are learned scholars and sages have carefully ascertained that one should atone for the heaviest sins by undergoing a heavy process of atonement and one should atone for lighter sins by undergoing lighter atonement. Chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, however, vanquishes all the effects of sinful activities, regardless of whether heavy or light.” (Srimad-Bhagavatam, 6.2.16)
Find them here: https://goo.gl/Khkzrb

The search for pleasure is often the source of the greatest trouble
→ The Spiritual Scientist

[Congregation program at Sacramento, California USA]

Podcast


 

Podcast Summary


 

Video:

The post The search for pleasure is often the source of the greatest trouble appeared first on The Spiritual Scientist.

Gaura Purnima 2018 – New Raman Reti (Album with photos) Srila…
→ Dandavats



Gaura Purnima 2018 - New Raman Reti (Album with photos)
Srila Prabhupada: “Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail.” If one practices chanting the Hare Krishna mantra, he is naturally expected to chant Hare Krishna when he meets with some accident. Even without such practice, however, if one somehow or other chants the holy name of the Lord (Hare Krishna) when he meets with an accident and dies, he will be saved from hellish life after death. (Srimad-Bhagavatam, 6.2.15 Purport)
Find them here: https://goo.gl/a87zGA

New Delhi’s District Judges Receive Guidance from Bhagavad-gita…
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New Delhi’s District Judges Receive Guidance from Bhagavad-gita As It Is (Album with photos and videos)
Srila Prabhupada once stated,’Someday the judges will be wearing tilak.’ Well in the present day we do have a step towards just that. Every Wednesday Ramanroop Prabhu, Iskcon New Delhi’s minister for foreign affairs has a home program at alternating judges homes. These judges act from within mediation services to life and death sentencing for criminals, all the while catering to political prisoners on all levels.
They participated with a Tulasi, Gaura Arotik, Nrsimhadeva Puja, kirtan, bhajans(several Judges were quite accomplished harmonium players, one senior most magistrate played the khol), and reading 3 verses and purports from Bhagavad-gita. One Brajabasi judge from Mathura led the chanting of one round of japa, and got so absorbed that we actually chanted around 3 rounds.
Even there was so much excitement in the chanting that they were singing along with the lead singer as well as the refrain.
The Gita reading was shared with quite exacting questions being raised almost as though we were in a courtroom! It was delightful that the sharpest governmental minds were refining and bathing their minds in this original law book of the Lord.

Prasadam became a highlight and after the meal some of our public servants who stayed to the end partook in a group picture.

Jokingly I quipped,’Here is where material law meets spiritual law.’ Everyone laughed…I guess tilak in the courtroom is next…
Find them here: https://goo.gl/1zmMgZ

Disappearance day of our most beloved HH Sridhar Swami
→ Dandavats

Hare KrishnaBy Niranjana and Jayapataka Swamis

He said, "Oh, my Lord. The destined time for my life span in this world is now exhausted. Now it is time to depart from this world and go on to my next destination. Who is anyone's son? Who is anyone's father? We are all living beings meant to go on in our journey from one body to the next. Oh my Lord, I simply pray to Your lotus feet. Please forgive me for any offenses I may have committed in your presence, and please allow me to continue to my next destination." And then he stopped speaking. Continue reading "Disappearance day of our most beloved HH Sridhar Swami
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Memories of Sridhar Swami
→ Dandavats

Hare KrishnaBy Giriraj Swami

Sridhar Swami: “When I leave, we can be together in more significant ways.” He said that love in separation was actually stronger. And we do experience that when we are with people we love, we may take them for granted but that when they are gone, we realize how valuable their association was and how much we loved and still love them. And the feelings become more intense than when we were with them. Continue reading "Memories of Sridhar Swami
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Gaura Purnima & outreach programs around Malaysia
→ ISKCON Malaysia

Nitai Gauranga Rai Abhiseka on Gaura Purnima

krishna-varnam tvishakrishnam sangopangastra-parshadam
yajnaih sankirtana-prayair yajanti hi sumedhasah

In the age of Kali, intelligent persons perform congregational chanting to worship the incarnation of Godhead who constantly sings the holy name of Krishna. Although His complexion is not blackish, He is Krishna Himself. He is accompanied by His associates, servants, weapons and confidential companions.

Sri Sri Nitai Gauranga Rai, Temple of Devotion & Understanding

Hare Krishna. Pleased to post a little bit about the preaching activities over the last ten days around the country.

Gaura Purnima, the appearance day festival of the golden avatar Lord Caitanya is celebrated grandly at all 30 ISKCON centres in Malaysia. Lord Caitanya is the most munificent incarnation of Lord Krishna who appeared 532 years ago in Mayapur and personally together with His associates spread the chanting of the Holy Names of Krishna in every town and village. This is the most sublime and easy process for us to achieve perfection in this Kali Yuga and to go back to Godhead at the end of our lives.

Vaisnavi the favorite of all takes advantage and gets her rewards]

Good idea to let children have a feel of feeding cows

 

In the cowshed hearing pastimes of Lord Krishna and about cow protection

On Thursday 1st March New Godruma Dhama farm hosted a busload of about 45 children and adults from the Indian Knowledge Systems Academy. They especially came to participate in Go Puja (worship of mother cow) and to also brush, bathe, cuddle the cows and feed them. Cuddling of cows has caught up as a health phenomenon in the west, only to say that it was an Indian therapy since the time of Lord Krishna. Children, cows and calves make a perfect match of friendship. The group members heard a class on the importance of caring for cows.

Kavi Nimai the dynamic full of energy Temple President of ISKCON Gelugor, Penang

Sri Sri Radha Krishna Kanhaiya

Not to forget our ISKCON bramachari Hari Das Nitai serving prasadam at a food for life program at Santipur

On Gaura Purnima, 2ndMarch morning I joined the morning Mangala Arati at Sri Jagannatha Mandir. In the evening I was in the Temple of Devotion & Understanding reaching for the evening arati. I was blessed to witness for some minutes the worship of the most merciful Sri Sri Nitai Gauranga Rai & Sri Sri Radha Krishna Kanhaiya. I then visited Bukit Mertajam,  ISKCON Bhakti Mandir for the evening program of Abhiseka, Kirtan, worship, class and prasadam.  A nice play was enacted by the temple’s kids and very ecstatic kirtan by the youths. It was really assuring to see the sons and daughters of congregation members following in the devotional footsteps of their parents.

 HH Bhakti Mukunda Swami Vice President of ISKCON Malaysia delivering Krishna Katha at Seremban

It was really nice to be with devotees from different parts of Malaysia from morning to evening taking their association and conversing about Lord Caitanya.

 Kalesa dasa Co-Temple President of TODU

Dvija Gauranga prabhu Temple President of Bhakti Mandir with a good harvest from Bhakti Mandir Gardens

The next morning after Mangala Arati prayers and Japa, I joined the Bhakti Mandir temple president HG Dvija Gauranga Prabhu a retired director of the Anti-Drug Department of Selangor for Srila Prabhupada Guru Puja followed with Bhagavatam discussions. In the early 80’s Dvija Gauranga prabhu served as commandant of the Bukit Mertajam Drug Rehabilitation centre and later promoted to the bigger Karangan Centre. During these times he organized many preaching programs for the inmates and many did stop their drug habits and some becoming vegetarians. Notably his children are all practicing devotees. It is nice to see similarly many youths following the devotional examples of their parents.

 ISKCON Sri Rama Vanam altar

Dvija Gauranga prabhu was happy to show me around the Bhakti Mandir Gardens of around 1 acre belonging to river reserve land which is being cultivated with vegetables, fruits and flowers for Lord Jagannatha. In Jagannatha Puri Lord Jagannatha is ONLY offered cooked items from vegetables grown in His own garden. Bhakti Mandir is making an attempt.

 Indian Knowledge System members with Vaisnavi

At around 10AM I left to the Temple of Devotion & Understanding to join the Jagannatha Misra feast. HG Isvara Prabhu from Nigeria but who is stationed in Calcutte and who is the founder of Touchstone Publications was giving the talk using a power point presentation of Srila Bhakti Vinoda Thakura’s songs glorifying Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

 After Gopuja circumbulation 

There again I saw another example of a leader whose sons are all practicing devotees. HG Kalesa prabhu the co-temple president of the Temple of Devotion & Understanding has 4 sons who are all practicing devotees. There are many such examples of parents and children practicing in all these temples. It is very encouraging. Thanks to all these youths for following in the devotional footprints of their parents.

 

In the evening I visited the Sri Krishna Balaram Mandir, ISKCON Kulim for their weekly program. HG Satyananda prabhu a devotee from his childhood times in Sitiawan following in his parents’ examples is leading the Kulim branch.

 Youths following examples of parents 

On 4th March I left for Nibong Tebal where we have a simple centre but a sizeable land for a future temple project and community living. HG Sevaya Hari the temple treasurer was offering the noon arati to Sri Sri Radha Syamasundar at the time I arrived. I then gave a class to about 20 people mostly children and youths. ISKCON Nibong Tebal has a good future seeing the gradual progress of Krishna conscious development. They are known for their free prasadam distribution in thousands during the Penang Thaipusam festivals.

 At Sri Sri Krishna Balaram Mandir, Kulim

After a nice lunch at Nibong Tebal I drove south to Ipoh for the evening program. ISKCON ipoh inaugurated their new temple in December 2015. It has a big temple hall with the most beautiful Sri Sri Parama Karuna Nitai Gauranga Deities. At the class I met some very old ISKCON Members Mr & Mrs Radhakrishnan and senior devotees including the temple president HG Para Brahma prabhu. Para Brahma prabhu is not only the temple president of ISKCON Ipoh but he is also very active around the country carrying out ISKCON’s spiritual, social & welfare work. He was a devotee since he was 17 years old. His services include performing vedic samskaras, the many purificatory rites from birth to death.

Sri Sri Radha Krishna Kanhaiya, Temple of Devotion & Understanding

After the night class at Ipoh I headed to Kuala Lumpur and was happy after having spent three full days with devotees.

 

For the Gaura Purnima festival and to discuss the pastimes of Lord Caitanya, ISKCON Malaysia was very fortunate with the visit of many itinerant preachers. ISKCON GBC member His Holiness Bhakti Caitanya Swami Maharaja travelled the central, north and south Malaysia from 2nd to 9th March. HG Isvara prabhu, founder of Touchstone Publications visited the central and northern centres from 1st March to 11 March. ISKCON Malaysia Vice President HH Bhakti Mukunda Swami Maharaja has been making his preaching rounds around the country while HH Bhakti Prananatha Govinda Maharaja from Bhubaneshwara touched Malaysia on 8th and will continue visiting centres till the 17th of this month. It is not always we get such a bonus of itinerant preachers at the same time.

 Gopuja at NEw Godruma Dhama farm

While chatting about preaching activities in Malaysia, H.H. Bhakti Caitanya Swami mentioned that during this visit he was very impressed with ISKCON Gelugor Temple President HG Kavi Nimai prabhu for his dynamism and energy engaging the congregation in outreach programs. Maharaja also said that ISKCON Taiping is very nicely located and also has a dynamic Temple President.

 

satam prasangam mama virya-samvido

bhavanti hrt-karna-rasayanah kathah

taj-josanad asv apavarga-vartmani

sraddha ratir bhaktir anukramisyati

 

SYNONYMS

satam—of pure devotees; prasangat—through the association; mama—My; virya—wonderful activities; samvidau—by discussion of; bhavanti—become; hrt—to the heart; karna—to the ear; rasa-ayanah—pleasing; kathah—the stories; tat—of that; josanat—by cultivation; asu—quickly; apavarga—of liberation; vartmani—on the path; sraddha—firm faith; ratih—attraction; bhaktih—devotion; anukramisyati—will follow in order.

 

TRANSLATION

In the association of pure devotees, discussion of the pastimes and activities of the Supreme Personality of Godhead is very pleasing and satisfying to the ear and the heart. By cultivating such knowledge one gradually becomes advanced on the path of liberation, and thereafter he is freed, and his attraction becomes fixed. Then real devotion and devotional service begin.

 

 

Hare Krishna.

If we don’t speak about high standards, won’t low standards become the standard
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Answer Podcast

The post If we don’t speak about high standards, won’t low standards become the standard appeared first on The Spiritual Scientist.

If our service forces us into agitating situations, how can we keep ourselves safe – Hindi?
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Answer Podcast

The post If our service forces us into agitating situations, how can we keep ourselves safe – Hindi? appeared first on The Spiritual Scientist.

Memories of His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja
Giriraj Swami

We have gathered on a most auspicious day. Srivasa Thakura is one of the members of the Panca-tattva. He lived in Navadvipa-dhama in Mayapur, near the residence of Jagannatha Misra and Sacidevi, where Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu appeared. Later, when Lord Chaitanya began the sankirtana movement in Navadvipa-dhama, He and His other most confidential associates would meet at Srivasa-angana, the home of Srivasa Thakura, and have kirtan throughout the night. The kirtans at Srivasa-angana were most ecstatic, and only the most intimate devotees of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu were allowed to enter. In fact, the nocturnal kirtans at Srivasa-angana in gaura-lila are compared to the rasa dance in krsna-lila.

In his identity in krsna-lila, Srivasa Pandita is Narada Muni, the great preacher who travels throughout the universe chanting the holy names of Krishna and enlightening the fallen souls in Krishna consciousness. So it is most auspicious that His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja left on Srivasa Thakura’s appearance day—that most auspicious day—in Sri Mayapur-dhama—that most auspicious place.

We now have a special opportunity and responsibility to honor and glorify His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja.

My own association with His Holiness Sridhar Swami goes back to Bombay, over thirty years ago. Srila Prabhupada had requested disciples from America to come to India to help him there, and in particular with his three main projects—Bombay, Mayapur, and Vrindavan. From 1972, His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja served Srila Prabhupada in India, mainly in Bombay.

When we got permission from the municipality to build on Hare Krishna Land in Juhu, Bombay, Srila Prabhupada wanted Sridhar, then a brahmachari, to take charge of the construction materials. Maharaja had a hefty build, like a football player, so Srila Prabhupada thought he would be appropriate to keep track of the construction materials and make sure none of them were stolen. But Maharaja said that he didn’t want to look after the construction material; he wanted to preach. I was the temple president in Bombay, so I was going back and forth between Srila Prabhupada and Sridhar Maharaja. Srila Prabhupada again said he should look after the construction materials, so I went back to deliver the message to him, but Maharaja insisted, “I want to preach!”

Maharaja had never really preached much in India before then, and we didn’t know how well he could preach to the aristocratic Indian gentlemen we were mainly approaching at that time. But he was so sincere in his desire to preach that he became one of the best preachers in India, and one of the best preachers in the world. This story illustrates Maharaja’s sincere desire to preach and his strong determination to serve Srila Prabhupada and the mission even in ways that may not have been easy for him.

In India, Srila Prabhupada had introduced the life-membership program. And he actually based the society’s progress there on the membership program. He said that making someone a life member was almost as good as making him into a devotee. He also said that he introduced the program as a way to distribute his books, because if someone became a life member by paying a certain subscription, he would get a set of Srila Prabhupada’s books and a subscription to Back to Godhead magazine.

Eventually, Sridhar Swami led one of the life-membership teams in Bombay. I was the membership director, and the other team leaders were Sridhar Swami, Lokanath Swami, Jagat-purusa Prabhu, and Haridasa Prabhu (who since then has become a producer of Krishna conscious television programs). In the early 1980s, Sridhar Maharaja became the Juhu temple president, and so he increasingly joined me in cultivating the most important people in Bombay. And between 1984 and 1990, when I was unable to return to India because of visa problems, he deepened his relationship with many of our most important members, and they really came to love him deeply.

Later, in about 1991, Sridhar Maharaja began the fund-raising-by-mail program in Juhu. Many devotees had criticized the proposed program, saying it would never work. To prepare the letters and post them would cost more than two lakhs rupees (Rs. 2,00,000/-), and where was the guarantee that we would ever get the money back? Yet in spite of all the negativity, Maharaja took the risk. (Srila Prabhupada had said, “To preach means to take risks.”) And the program proved to be successful. The first effort itself made money, and subsequent mailings proved even more profitable. Soon, Maharaja received invitations from centers in India and abroad to help them organize fund-raising-by-mail campaigns, and the campaigns proved to be successful everywhere. They became one of the most reliable sources of income many temples had. Even today, the BHISMA office started by Sridhar Maharaja raises funds for the Juhu temple by mail.

More recently, Sridhar Maharaja started the Vedic Applied Spiritual Technology (VAST) program. This pioneering program uses the latest multi-media methods to teach the corporate sector stress management and time management—all in relation to Krishna consciousness. Maharaja always tried to find innovative ways to present Krishna consciousness. He studied experts in various fields and applied what he learned to Krishna consciousness.

Many of my most vivid memories of Maharaja, and of his good influence on me and on others, are from the last few years. You may know that in 1977, some months before he left this world, Srila Prabhupada named eleven disciples to initiate devotees on his behalf while he was still here. Then, after he left, the same disciples continued to initiate. Later, slowly, a few more were given that responsibility, beginning with three others.

Maharaja joked that he wanted only two disciples—one to do his laundry and one to collect for him. But he was not one of the first to initiate, or even one of the first to be added later. The attitude of the movement then was quite restrictive. But eventually, he was given the responsibility to initiate disciples, and he took his duty very seriously.

Up to the very end, Maharaja was sincere in his duties to his disciples and in his care and affection for them. He really cared for them, and he loved them very much. At the same time, he cared for devotees and people in general, and I think this is one of his most remarkable traits: his almost universal care for others. He really was like an ocean of love.

One morning in Kartik of 1999, in Vrindavan, Maharaja and I went to the Bhaktivedanta Ashram at Govardhana, where I was to meet His Holiness Indradyumna Swami and choose a Govardhana sila to worship. Indradyumna Maharaja placed two silas next to each other on his shelf and asked, “Who do these look like?” They looked like Radha and Krishna, and so I accepted them. Then Indradyumna Swami gave me his deity of Gopisvara Mahadeva, and he gave Sridhar Maharaja silas of Lord Nrsimhadeva and Varahadeva. Earlier, he had told Sridhar Maharaja, “I will have something for you when you come to Govardhana.” Sridhar Swami was a great devotee of Lord Nrsimhadeva.

The next day, Indradyumna Swami took Sridhar Maharaja and me to Loi Bazar in downtown Vrindavan to get paraphernalia for our worship. We spent most of the day in various shops, looking for just the right items for the Deities’ service and bargaining with the merchants.

During the same stay in Vrindavan, Sridhar Maharaja and I did Govardhana parikrama together, followed by a group of devotees. We had wonderful krsna-katha all around Govardhana Hill. Although we both were ill, we did the full parikrama barefoot in the hot sun, and only afterward did we take prasada at the Bhaktivedanta Ashram.

Within a month, we both were in the hospital—he in a coma, with encephalopathy from hepatitis C, and me on the verge of a heart attack, about to have cardiac bypass surgery. Later, Maharaja praised the power of that parikrama—that it put us both in the hospital so quickly. He told me, “The only reason I went all the way around was to keep pace with you.” I replied, “But, Maharaja, the only reason I went all the way around was to keep pace with you!” Such was our relationship, and such is the mercy of Giri-Govardhana.

Anyway, two years earlier, Sridhar Maharaja had been diagnosed with hepatitis C and cirrhosis of the liver, a severe condition that in the course of time is usually fatal. After Kartik, Maharaja’s condition deteriorated, and some liquid, called ascites, accumulated in his abdominal cavity—nearly twenty or twenty-five liters of fluid, which caused massive swelling in his legs as well. So he returned to Bombay for tests and treatment.

In Bombay, Maharaja was admitted in the Bhaktivedanta Hospital at Mira Road, which is run and staffed mainly by devotees. There, he had a further reversal, and he went into a coma. Soon, His Holiness Tamal Krishna Goswami and some of Goswami Maharaja’s close friends—Giridhari Swami and Kesava Bharati Maharaja—came from Vrindavan to Bombay to meet Sridhar Maharaja in the hospital. Maharaja was so grateful to them for coming all the way from Vrindavan to be with him, and their visit had a deep effect on him. From then on, one of the main themes in his life was how much he appreciated his godbrothers, how much he wanted their association. He would say, “My godbrothers are my life,” and he felt, as a humble Vaishnava, dependent on them. Even at the end, when he was in Canada, just before he left for Mayapur, he was asking different godbrothers, “Please help me. Help me to chant the holy name.” He was very, very humble.

Eventually, Maharaja was discharged from the hospital, but his condition remained delicate. Many devotees suggested that he return to Vrindavan and spend his last days there, hearing and chanting about Krishna. Again, he was so sincere that he accepted the advice of his godbrothers and well-wishers. But soon he felt, “This is not me, just to sit and chant and hear in Vrindavan.” Again he came to the same point: “I want to preach.” So he stayed in Haridas Prabhu’s vacant flat at Mira Road, and he would meet devotees and friends—and preach.

In April of 2000 Maharaja was again admitted into the Bhaktivedanta Hospital in an early stage of hepatic coma. Later, he had difficulty breathing and actually felt that he might leave his body. But he recovered from the crisis, and soon he got the idea that he would like to travel again. And he was adamant.

To travel, from the medical point of view, was a doubtful decision, but Maharaja was determined. His first stop was to be Carpinteria, where I have a small ashram. He wanted to visit, to spend some time with me, and to rest and recuperate. Thus, in May of 2000, he and his faithful and wonderful servant, Mayapur dasa, the first disciple he initiated in Juhu, somehow got on a plane and reached Los Angeles. From the Los Angeles airport they came straight by car to Carpinteria, but by the time he reached the ashram, Maharaja was in a terrible condition. We were shocked. Already he had been terribly sick, but then he had caught the flu before leaving Bombay—although the symptoms hadn’t manifested until he had reached Hong Kong. Some devotees had said that he shouldn’t have traveled at all—that he was too sick—and that the disease was affecting his discrimination. But in retrospect, I see his traveling in spite of his illness as his love and his desire to serve and preach. And sometimes I take it that he risked his life just to come and visit me.

So, he came, and we spent some time together. He was on a very strict diet that he didn’t much like, and he would cheat a little now and then. One night I went out to a preaching program. Although he wasn’t well enough to come, he encouraged me to go. So we left him in the care of Mayapur dasa and my disciple Kuntidevi dasi, who could cook in case he needed anything. After I left, Maharaja decided that he wanted to indulge himself a little and asked for veggie burgers and French fries, which were not at all on his diet. Kuntidevi dutifully prepared the veggie burgers and chips, and Mayapur reluctantly served them. Maharaja ate them, and he was in very jolly spirits.

In Bombay we had two highly aristocratic life members—very affluent yet very devoted: Mr. Brijratan Mohatta and Mr. M. P. Maheshwari. Every Sunday, they and their wives would come to Juhu. Out of their deep affection for Maharaja, these two gentlemen began to call him “the jolly swami” because, well, he was always so jolly. The name stuck, and a few years ago, Maharaja’s brother Stuart actually wrote an article about him called “The Jolly Swami.” It was a nice article, and it was published in a magazine in Canada. Recently, this nickname became even more popular—and deservedly so—because Maharaja remained so jolly even up to the time of death.

So, happily enjoying Kuntidevi’s tasty burgers and chips, “the jolly swami” was in a very jolly mood indeed. The next morning, however, he wasn’t quite so jolly—or at least he didn’t manifest his mood. In fact, he wouldn’t get up. We thought, “He must be exhausted.” Time passed, and still he wouldn’t get up. We waited, tried again, waited, and tried again. Finally, we realized that he was in a coma, so we rushed him to the hospital, to the emergency room, and he was eventually put in the intensive care unit. (Later, Maharaja would phone and say, “I want to come to Carpinteria and have some more of Kunti’s ‘coma burgers’!”) Physiologically, there was a certain course to be run, and the doctors were confident that he would come out of the coma. It just had to be treated in the proper way and the condition would reverse itself.

In the hospital, Sridhar Maharaja’s great affection and care again became evident. Because his liver was not functioning properly, it couldn’t take out the toxins—that was the basic problem. And eventually the toxins go to the brain and cause encephalopathy. If the toxins in the brain reach a certain point, the patient goes into a coma. Then the process of coming out of the coma and toxic influence is gradual. In a way, you could say that at first Maharaja was sort of delirious. But the beauty of his delirium was that his goodness came out freely: He just wanted everyone to chant. He wanted everyone—the doctors, the nurses, the nurses’ assistants, even the room cleaners—to become Krishna conscious. He really just wanted everyone to become Krishna conscious.

This desire included Maharaja’s brothers, Malcome and Stuart—he really wanted them to become devotees. He would talk to us about them, not completely coherently, but with great love and care. And he would talk with them, as well as with his mother and sister—they all lived in Canada—on the phone. He saw some spark in them that he wanted to fan. He really wanted them to become devotees.

When the crisis began, we informed his family. His sister Fiona was wonderful—helpful and responsible. And eventually his brother Malcolm came down and stayed with Maharaja and us for a while. His Holiness Hridayananda das Goswami also visited Maharaja in the hospital. The two joked a lot, and again, Maharaja was very appreciative.

Maharaja was soon discharged and came back to our ashram. Despite his trying medical condition, he really was “the jolly swami.” (After some days, the bill from the hospital came—for almost $30,000. Maharaja studied it carefully and finally concluded, “I want my money. They can take back my consciousness!”)

From then on, despite his hepatitis, Maharaja would travel a lot, sort of like Srila Prabhupada—more or less six months in India, based in Bombay, and six months traveling. He would visit London and Croatia and Slovenia and made a point to always attend the New York Ratha-yatra. And he would regularly visit Alachua, Los Angeles, Vancouver, and even Brazil. He had many disciples in Croatia and Slovenia. Many of the young people there became initiated by him.

In September of 2001, Sridhar Maharaja came to Carpinteria for my Vyasa-puja. There he said: “For me, in my stage of life, if I have learned even one little lesson, it is dasa-dasanudasah. Cultivate service to the Vaishnavas and you will get everything. We need a family in which we can love and trust each other and not fear. We have to preach to so many materialistic people. Their very aura is permeated with lust and greed and anger, and there is a possibility of getting infected. But if we can come back to a community of friends, of brothers and sisters, where we love each other and care—I am not talking of superficially saying something, but where we really care deep down inside that this person is suffering and care, even materially—we will be protected. Prabhupada cried when he saw people suffering materially in the material world. So what to speak of exalted Vaishnava devotees—we should care for them and love them. This is our family.”

January 14, 2003, marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of the grand opening of the Juhu temple, and Maharaja took the lead in arranging the silver jubilee celebrations. He wanted every devotee who had ever served in Juhu, especially in the time leading up to the grand opening—which was basically when Srila Prabhupada was personally present—to come. The temple had only a modest budget to help devotees with their airfares, but eventually a devotee in Bombay, Krsnacandra Prabhu (Hrishikesh Mafatlal), gave several lakhs of rupees to pay for their tickets. Maharaja tracked down every Prabhupada disciple who had served during that time in Bombay—phoned them and personally requested that they come, offering free tickets as required.

So many came, and the reports of the event were extraordinary. People couldn’t believe it. Everyone there felt that Srila Prabhupada had manifested himself again. Even His Holiness Sacinandana Swami, who hadn’t served during the early days in Bombay but who happened to be there for the celebrations, said that he felt Srila Prabhupada’s presence descend in a very tangible way. And everyone gave the credit to Sridhar Swami. He got so many devotees to come, and, with help from devotees in Chowpatty and Juhu, he had made wonderful arrangements for them. And when it was time for devotees to give their remembrances of serving Srila Prabhupada in Bombay, he insisted that the gurus and sannyasis wait for others to speak first. He said, “We hear them all the time; we want to hear others.” He really was pandita sama-darsinah; he saw everyone equally. He truly saw the soul, and he appreciated everyone. He appreciated everyone’s good, and he wanted to encourage everyone.

Anyway, it was a wonderful event. I phoned at one point, just to be part of the celebrations, and the receptionist in the Juhu guesthouse picked up the call. I asked for Maharaja, but he didn’t happen to be right there, and it was going to take time to find him—they would look for him. In the meantime, I asked, “Who else is there?” Just then, Jagat-purusa Prabhu was walking by. I said, “Okay, I’ll speak to him.” Jagat-purusa was in high ecstasy. He said that he had not experienced such bliss in Krishna consciousness since the time he was in Bombay serving Srila Prabhupada. He just went on and on, emphasizing that it was the most memorable occasion of his life, and I think many others felt the same way, because they felt Srila Prabhupada’s presence. What more do any of us want? For us, the highest perfection is to be with Srila Prabhupada, and Sridhar Swami, I feel, was instrumental in creating that situation in which Srila Prabhupada was pleased to manifest himself in such a vivid and personal way.

After a few days of recuperating from that major effort, Maharaja wanted to travel again, so he came to Los Angeles. That time his schedule didn’t allow him to come to Carpinteria. I also thought that he might have been a little upset because I hadn’t come for the celebrations in Juhu. So I went to him, and he was wonderful—as always. After Los Angeles, he went to Vancouver. While he was there, I began to consider that I might have offended him by not going for the celebrations in Juhu. I don’t think I could have gone, but at the same time I was concerned that I had offended him. So I phoned Maharaja in Vancouver to apologize and explain why I couldn’t come, even though he (and many others) had so much wanted me to participate. I asked him to forgive me. He was very gracious. He was sorry I hadn’t come, and he did want to understand why I hadn’t. But he said I hadn’t committed any offense.

Maharaja and I would frequently talk on the phone, and we would meet whenever he came to Los Angeles. Then, last November, he phoned from Bombay and told me that he was planning to go to Vancouver in April for four to six months. I replied, “I will definitely come and spend time with you there.” Soon thereafter, however, I got an e-mail from him saying that he had been diagnosed in Bombay with liver cancer and that he was going to Vancouver immediately to see if he could get a liver transplant, which was his “only hope.”

The first day Maharaja went for tests, the doctors found three places where cancer had affected his liver, which prima facie made him eligible for the transplant. But they still had to do more tests. When they did the next tests, however, they found more cancer, and because the cancer had spread beyond the limit allowed for transplants, his “only hope” was dashed. He was ineligible for the transplant because the cancer had spread so much. So it seemed like he would soon leave his body.

I was very distressed. I phoned him, but he wasn’t answering his landline. When I reached him on his cell phone, I asked, “Where are you?” He answered, “I’m shopping.” He seemed so jolly—like always. But then he confirmed my worst fears: “The doctor says that I could go at any time. Phone me back later. We have to talk.”

After that, we would speak every day, usually twice a day. And we had wonderful talks. The question arose whether he should go to Mayapur—and when. He decided he would go to Mayapur, and eventually, in consultation with his godbrothers, he concluded that he should go as soon as possible.

He had just three desires, he told me: “I just want to survive until I reach Mayapur. Then, if possible, I want to live to see the Panca-tattva installed. And then, if possible, I want to live until Gaura-purnima. And then—whatever.” (He meant, of course, “And then—whatever Krishna wants.”)

No one knew how much travel Maharaja’s weakened body could bear. But with these three desires in his heart, he flew to London. There, Indradyumna Swami joined him. (Maharaja’s sister, Fiona, had informed Indradyumna Swami of the doctor’s pronouncement: If Sridhar undertook the journey, he probably wouldn’t make it. And she added, “If that happens, I want someone to be there with him.”) So Indradyumna Swami flew to England to accompany Maharaja onward towards Mayapur, and he was very apprehensive.

In London, devotees had rented a room for Maharaja in a hotel near the airport. He was so sick and weak that he could hardly walk. The devotees just had to get him from the airport to the nearest place possible—as soon as possible.

Because the news had spread that Maharaja was going to Mayapur to leave his body, many of his disciples from Europe—mainly from Croatia and Slovenia—came to London to meet him. And they were weeping, because they knew they would never see him again. He told them, “You can cry when I go. You can cry for a few days, but then you have to get back into your service, and then you have to be happy.”

Maharaja wanted to reciprocate with the disciples who had come to be with him. “The king is good for the people,” he said, “and the people are good for the king. I never had my own family, but when I had disciples, I was able to benefit tremendously. I felt emotions I thought I never would. I just don’t think it will stop. When we love one another, we are together. Of course, when I leave, we can’t play football [soccer] together. But I can come along in the form of a picture.” It was bittersweet. Maharaja was so sweet and so humorous. Yet his disciples were feeling sad that they would never see their guru maharaja again.

Then he told them, “When I leave, we can be together in more significant ways.” He said that love in separation was actually stronger. And we do experience that when we are with people we love, we may take them for granted but that when they are gone, we realize how valuable their association was and how much we loved and still love them. And the feelings become more intense than when we were with them.

There were some disciples who didn’t have second initiation, so Maharaja decided he would initiate them. But because of his disease, his brain didn’t always function properly. Toxins went to his brain, and then, too, as prescribed by the doctor, he had to take a derivative of opium to kill the pain. Anyway, he decided, “Okay, I’ll give second initiation—but all together, all five at once.” He began reciting the Gayatri mantra for them, “Om bhur . . .”—but then he couldn’t remember the next word. He asked Indradyumna Swami, “What comes next?” Indradyumna Swami pronounced the word, and Maharaja repeated it to his disciples. When Maharaja couldn’t remember the next word either, he told Indradyumna Swami, “Look, why don’t you just say each word, and then I’ll repeat it, and the disciples will hear it from me.” So they got through the first two lines. Then Indradyumna Swami, who himself was exhausted from his long flight from South Africa, couldn’t remember the next word. So Sridhar Maharaja asked, “Are there any brahmans in the house who know the next word?” Then one brahman told the word to Indradyumna Swami, Indradyumna Swami repeated it to Sridhar Swami, and Sridhar Swami repeated it to the disciples.

Sridhar Maharaja remarked, “Harer nama harer nama harer namaiva kevalam. We don’t need this Gayatri mantra. Hari-nama is enough.” Then he started quoting:

 harer nama harer nama
  harer namaiva kevalam
kalau nasty eva nasty eva
  nasty eva gatir anyatha

[“In this age of quarrel and hypocrisy the only means of deliverance is the chanting of the holy names of the Lord. There is no other way. There is no other way. There is no other way.” (Cc Adi 17.21)]

krsna-varnam tvisakrsnam
  sangopangastra-parsadam
yajnaih sankirtana-prayair
 yajanti hi su-medhasah

[“In the Age of Kali, intelligent persons perform congregational chanting to worship the incarnation of Godhead who constantly sings the name of Krsna. Although His complexion is not blackish, He is Krsna Himself. He is accompanied by His associates, servants, weapons and confidential companions.” (SB 11.5.32)]

kaler dosa-nidhe rajan
  asti hy eko mahan gunah
kirtanad eva krsnasya
  mukta-sangah param vrajet

 [“My dear King, although Kali-yuga is an ocean of faults, there is still one good quality about this age: Simply by chanting the Hare Krsna maha-mantra, one can become free from material bondage and be promoted to the transcendental kingdom.” (SB 12.3.51)]

He quoted all these verses in glorification of the holy name. Indradyumna Swami exclaimed, “Maharaja, you are perfectly quoting all these verses about the holy name, but you can’t remember the Gayatri mantra?!”

“The Gayatri mantra is just meant to assist us in chanting the holy name,” Sridhar Swami explained. “The real thing is chanting the holy name. The Gayatri mantra just supports it—helps us to become purified—so we can chant the holy name.”

You may have heard how Maharaja arrived in Calcutta. Jayapataka Maharaja had sent his van to pick him up, and Sridhar Swami lay unmoving in Jayapataka Maharaja’s bed in the van all the way from the airport to Mayapur. In Mayapur, thousands of devotees came out to receive him with kirtan—sometimes roaring and sometimes sweet.

In Mayapur, because Maharaja’s diseased liver wasn’t processing different materials in the body, his body again filled with liquid and became bloated. In Canada, as well as in India, doctors would remove five to seven liters of liquid from him at a time. That was part of his discomfort. So, after the installation of the Panca-tattva, maybe because of the exertion and excitement in the ceremony, he had a physical setback.

The situation looked grave, and in the evening Maharaja asked for devotees to come and do kirtan in his room. He didn’t know what would happen, and it looked like he was going to leave. Mayapur dasa, informed the devotees. So devotees came. Senior devotees and disciples alike gathered in Maharaja’s room, ready for the worst.

As Maharaja lay silently on his bed, the devotees performed kirtan, most of them crying, seeing that the end was near. The doctor who came to examine Maharaja was serious and grave. He felt around Maharaja’s body as Maharaja lay motionless on his bed, his eyes closed. Maharaja’s abdomen was completely bloated from the accumulated liquid. But then, when he put his hands on Maharaja’s abdomen and squeezed it gently to assess the situation, Maharaja opened his eyes, looked at him, and said, “It’s a boy!”

Everybody cracked up. Maharaja was so funny, even in the most dire of circumstances. But the devotees were going mad; they didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The situation was so critical, yet Maharaja was so funny. Anyway, Maharaja told me that story on the phone—I think he rather liked it.

So, jivo va maro va: a devotee can live or die. Both are the same. Certainly that was true of Sridhar Swami: He could live or die, because if he lived he would serve Krishna here, and if he died he would serve Krishna in the next life. For Maharaja, life and death were the same (jivo va maro va). Thus, he was truly fearless and jolly. Although he wanted to stay so he could preach, he wasn’t afraid of death. He knew he would continue to serve Srila Prabhupada.

A few days before Gaura-purnima, Indradyumna Swami came to say farewell to Maharaja. At Maharaja’s room he met Mayapur dasa, who told him, “Maharaja is in the shower.” From inside, Sridhar Swami overheard the talk and shouted out, “Indie! Is that you, Indie?” He used to call Indradyumna Swami “Indie,” short for Indiana Jones, because Indradyumna Maharaja is such an adventurous preacher. (Later Indradyumna Swami remarked what a wonderful experience this was: When someone really loves you and is proud of you, he shows you off to his friends. In this way, Sridhar Maharaja would show off Indradyumna Swami to people who came to his room. He would say, “This is our Indiana Jones, but he is the real thing! This one is the real thing!”)

So, Sridhar Maharaja called out, “Indie! Is that you out there?”

“Yes, Maharaja.”

“Come on in!”

“But Maharaja, you are in the shower.”

“So what? Come on in.”

He went in, and there was Maharaja with nothing to cover him but the air (and water from the shower). “Don’t worry about it,” Maharaja said. “We are not these bodies!”

Indradyumna Swami was choked up, because he was feeling he would never see Maharaja again. This was it—saying good-bye. So he said, “Maharaja, I have come to say good-bye.” Maharaja said, “Don’t say good-bye.” Indradyumna Swami replied, “I may never see you again in this life.” Sridhar Swami responded, “Don’t you know that old song?” And he sang: “Happy trails to you, until we meet again.” And that was it.

So, I think that was a good conclusion, especially for Indradyumna Swami: “happy trails”—because his trails take him all over the world. Yet all of us, in our own ways, have our own trails and paths in devotional service, and Sridhar Swami wishes that they be happy—until we meet again.

I wanted to phone Maharaja every day, but the way it worked out with the time difference and all the difficulties in just getting through to Mayapur, it averaged about every third day that I would speak to him. The last time we spoke, two days before he left, he was having a good day. The previous day had been a bad one, but the night before, they had given him some additional medication. And we had one of the best talks I have ever had with anyone in my entire life. We spoke mainly about the Mayapur project and Srila Prabhupada’s mission. It’s really something that I’ll cherish for my whole life—the experience of it and the lessons it contained.

That was Thursday, March 11. The next day, Friday, we installed beautiful brass Deities of Gaura-Nitai in our Carpinteria ashram. They had come from Vrindavan, originally commissioned by Mother Kirtida for Tamal Krishna Goswami. I felt that Their coming was also part of Sridhar Swami’s mercy, because he so fervently desired that the glories of the Panca-tattva be spread and that we build the great temple for Them in Mayapur. So, two representatives of the Panca-tattva had come, and I felt that Their arrival was his desire.

On Thursday I had told Maharaja, “I don’t know if I will be able to phone you again before then, but the Deities have come and we will perform the installation Friday evening, and by your mercy we’ll try to serve Them and Their dhama.” And now, whenever I look at Their beautiful forms and appealing faces, I feel that we have to do something for Them—we have to build Their wonderful temple, as Sridhar Swami always reminded me.

 I think this may be Maharaja’s main contribution in recent years, at least to me in my service: He impressed upon me—and upon our entire movement—the importance of the Mayapur project, of the “wonderful temple” (adbhuta mandira) that Nityananda Prabhu had desired for the service of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and that Bhaktivinoda Thakura had envisioned. (One day, when Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura was chanting japa on the balcony of his house in Godruma-dvipa, he looked across the Jalangi River to Mayapur, and he had a vision of a transcendental city with a magnificent temple rising like a mountain in its midst.) Maharaja’s whole life was dedicated to Srila Prabhupada, and I think he felt that this was one of Srila Prabhupada’s main desires left to be fulfilled. He felt that we had to do it—and that we had to do it; it would benefit the whole society, and the whole world. He would quote Ambarisa Prabhu: “This will be the tide that will make all the boats rise.” So, although Sridhar Maharaja left so many wonderful legacies for us in terms of his personal qualities and activities, I think one legacy that may serve to unite the movement and fulfill one of Srila Prabhupada’s main desires is his inspiration to push on the construction of the great temple in Mayapur.

When I was a new devotee, maybe less than two years in the movement, I approached Srila Prabhupada one day while he was getting his massage on the veranda of the Calcutta temple. “Srila Prabhupada,” I said, “I have been thinking about what pleases you most.” Srila Prabhupada was so pure he took every word into his heart. He replied, “Yes.” I said, “The two things that seem to please you the most are distributing your books and building the big temple in Mayapur.” Srila Prabhupada smiled with great appreciation and said, “Thank you very much.”

So, those were Srila Prabhupada’s two main strategies for spreading Krishna consciousness, and Sridhar Swami helped him in both. In his early days, Sridhar Swami was instrumental in developing book distribution in North America. And in his later years, he was very involved with the Mayapur project, planning and raising funds for the great temple. And by Maharaja’s mercy, on Gaura-purnima, standing in front of the Panca-tattva Deities in Laguna Beach, I got the inspiration: “Now it’s time for Mayapur. Sridhar Swami understood that long ago. Now it’s time for you [me] to join the effort, too.” And that was important for me in other ways as well—to let go of the past: “Forgive and forget. Now let’s all work together for Mayapur, for Sridhar Swami, for Srila Prabhupada, to build the wonderful temple.”

When I asked Maharaja how I could help, he requested me to speak about my experiences of Srila Prabhupada related to Mayapur. So, in 1973, when Srila Prabhupada came to Calcutta from England, he was so enthusiastic and excited about Mayapur. Tamal Krishna Goswami had gotten the first land, we had observed the first Gaura-purnima festival there, and now Srila Prabhupada had come with the plans for the first building. There was a detailed discussion, but at the end Srila Prabhupada said, “If you build this temple, then Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura will personally come and take you all back to Godhead.”

Now I think, “That might be my only hope, so I’d better get to work. We’d better build the Mayapur project, because I don’t know how else I will ever get back to Godhead.”

His Holiness Sridhar Swami has given me a lifetime of work in service to Srila Prabhupada. Although jivo va maro va, to live or die is the same for a devotee—and certainly that was true of Maharaja—my own feelings are mixed. I think, “Now he has left so much service for me, given me so many instructions.” (I think the same about Tamal Krishna Goswami.) “So I must stay and execute his mission.” Even though part of me misses them terribly and wants to be with them, mainly I think, “They left me so many instructions. I have so much service to do for them here.”

Of course, how long we have to do what they have asked, what they would want, all depends on Krishna. Therefore, whatever time we do have left we should use in the best possible way—in Krishna consciousness.

His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja ki jaya! Srila Prabhupada ki jaya! Sri Panca-tattva ki jaya! Nitai-gaura-premanande hari-haribol!

*          *          *

EPILOGUE

While on my daily walk in Santa Barbara three days after Sridhar Maharaja’s departure, I suddenly began to feel blissful, and I felt Maharaja’s presence. Then I imagined that he gave me two instructions. The first was “I am still here. Be happy.” And the second was “Just be yourself. Each one of us has his own contribution to make, so just be yourself and make your contribution.” And then he left.

Clearly, Maharaja’s two instructions were meant not only for me. They were meant for everyone. And his instructions covered all points. Especially his last statement had said it all: “Just be yourself and make your contribution.”

Thank you, Maharaja. We love you.

Hare Krishna.

[Based on talks in Laguna Beach and Los Angeles, March 14 and 15, 2004]

 

 

 

More than 20 Million Views for Sivarama Swami’s “vlogs”
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More than 20 Million Views for Sivarama Swamis “vlogs”
A series of video blogs, or “vlogs,” featuring ISKCON guru Sivarama Swami giving a Krishna conscious perspective on current issues, have racked up over 20 million views on Facebook. Devotees behind the project see it as a way forward for outreach in the Hare Krishna Movement.
To read the entire article click here: https://goo.gl/PHq1jF

There is no other way…
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(Kadamba Kanana Swami, 23 January 2018, Radhadesh, Belgium, Srimad Bhagavatam 8.12.17-21)

Comment: When I am deeply suffering, there is no desire to serve because the pain is overwhelming…

Yes, when we are deeply suffering then we lose the desire to serve because the pain is overwhelming. At that time, we have to remind ourselves that the only way out is still Krsna consciousness, whether you suffer or not. The only way out of suffering is through Krsna consciousness; there is no other way out.

Everybody suffers, I have suffered and I still suffer but how do we get out of here? Do I stop my service? But then I will just go into more suffering, that is all that will be left. If I stop everything, stop chanting then I just go into pain; a ball of pain. So, that is not a great position to be in. Maybe I can handle it for a short moment but then I have got to do something to get over that pain so then I start chanting Hare Krsna again because I realise there is no other solution. The only way out is chanting Hare Krsna!

Radha Kunda Seva: February 2018 Photos and Updates (Album of…
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Radha Kunda Seva: February 2018 Photos and Updates (Album of photos)
It is such a relief and a joy to see pristinely clean kundas and rubbish-free landscapes at the foot of Govardhan as we do parikrama! The cleaning at Apsara, Navala, and Dananivartan Kundas and the surrounding areas is now at the point of daily maintenance, and just as in Radha Kunda town, our crews visit and clean these areas daily. Our ladies in Radha Kunda were treated to extra feasts this month, thanks to Krishna Priya from Australia (pictured serving one of the feasts). They were delighted! Some of you have been asking, and we realized that we are long overdue for an update on our kitchen project. As many of you know, we partnered with Food for Life Vrindavan to do the construction. First, we built a temple, and the plan was to follow that up with a kitchen. Our endeavors came to a halt when, in December of 2016, the government came through Govardhan bulldozing thousands of structures on either side of the Parikrama Marg eventually demolishing the front courtyard area of our temple. To date, they have yet to grant us permission to build a kitchen. The land is officially zoned as a “green zone” and it has become clear that it simply cannot be used for a kitchen and school as we had originally intended. It is mostly a personal blow as we used our own personal savings to purchase the land back in 2009. We are currently in talks with some people who are running a goshala who might be willing to exchange land with us so we can build someplace else and they can use our land as a goshala. Ultimately, the good news is that with your blessings and support, in spite of our cramped rented facility in Radha Kunda, we have been able to maintain feeding at least 80 ladies there day after day, month after month for years. And so, the service continues. Thank you for being a part of the team! Please browse our latest photos and join our efforts by visiting www.radharani.com. Your servants, Campakalata Devi dasi, Padma Gopi Devi dasi, Sri Arjuna dasa, Urmila Devi Dasi, and Mayapurcandra dasa.
Find them here: https://goo.gl/L8kyFY