
Stranger Danger!
The assumption that everyone other than those known to you are out to harm you; instilling FEAR.
As one of my clients got into my car they started to tell me what they had learnt in school today, that strangers were a danger and then related the various stories they had been told as to why those unknown to them are a threat.
It for me is unhelpful teaching and also presents as facts the dangers that are not always statistically true; indeed friend danger would be better as most abuse (physical, emotional, financial) is done in a sad majority of cases by someone known to them not the stranger.
Indeed I am reminded of a saying “A stranger is a friend you have not met get” Yes we have to be cautious especially when meeting someone new for the first time.
Exploring the stranger danger I asked if he knew the teacher before being left with them? No I didn’t know them, did your mum know them? No! So is the teacher a threat to you? No! What about me did you or you mum know me? No! Am I a danger to you? No! And what of your friend were they not once a stranger? Yes! Are they a threat to you? No!
In our lives we meet up with so many people, sometimes a stranger may help us at times of distress and sometimes we meet people who become friends for the rest of our life.
We propagate stranger danger out of fear, fear that our child will come to harm we want to protect out child which is a good thing. But if we instil fear we then contribute to the child’s isolation and lead to social difficulties later on in life; for life is full of interactions with strangers how we deal with them is the key.
Teaching the child how to discriminate between those who they can trust implicitly and those who they keep a distance away from serves the child much better; but this is as much a skill learnt through the hard knock system than practical in a classroom; it is easier to paint all people as a danger.
More important is teaching the child that they can say NO! And that this should be respected, if they feel uncomfortable they can say NO! But most important if the person does it any-way’s and tells them to keep it secret of threatens them harm then they can TELL!
We as parents will protect you from harm.
That the child feels safe enough to talk.
That they can tell someone they trust that some secrets are not meant to be hidden, that if someone touches you or forces you to do something you don’t like then speak. Remember in most cases abuse is caused by a family member or someone trusted by the family, but again remember this is despite press hype still rare.
Rather than stranger danger the more balanced NSPCC Pants teaching is more beneficial for the child
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-parents/keeping-your-child-safe/the-underwear-rule/the-underwear-rule_wda97016.html
As a society we want to keep our children safe, but we also don’t want them to become fearful and miss out on meeting many amazing people; and the devotee community is full of amazing characters that will enhance our child’s knowledge and understanding of this material world.
It’s a thought but what’s your view?