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Sun Love Feast – April 1st, 2018 – Vedic discourse by Her Grace Kamla Gopi Mataji
Shyamananda Prabhu Appearance
→ Ramai Swami
Feeling very sad (dukhi) over losing several children before his birth, his parents named him Dukhi Krishna Dasa. Upon taking diksha from Hrdaya Chaitanya he became known as Krishna Dasa. In Vrindavana, he joined Narottama Dasa Thakura and Shrinivasa Acharya to study the Goswami granthas under Shri Jiva Goswami.
“While living in Vrindavana, Krishna Dasa regularly swept the streets before dawn. He performed this humble service so that the Vaishnavas would not hurt their feet while walking to the Temples. One morning he found a captivatingly beautiful golden ankle bracelet. When Lalita and Vishakha-sakhis asked for the bracelet Krishna Dasa said he would only give it to the original owner.
“Blindfolding Krishna Dasa, the gopis brought him to Shrimati Radhika. She allowed him to put the bracelet on Her ankle. But before fastening it, Krishna Dasa reverentially touched it to his forehead. This left a new tilaka mark which now distinguishes all of Shyamananda’s followers.
“Rejoicing over Krishna Dasa’s transcendental fortune, Shri Jiva Goswami awarded him the name Shyamananda (one who pleases Shrimati Radharani or the servant of Shyamasundara Krishna.
In The Heart: Memories Of My Gurudeva
→ A Convenient Truth
THE FIRST ENCOUNTER
The first time I ever physically saw Gurudeva was at the Devasadan Mandir (Detroit ISKCON temple). That had to have been 1994 or 1995. I was in the temple room alone chanting japa waiting to attend a program with Gurudeva at Radhasundari and Hladini Shakti’s home. I had never met him before. I only heard about this IFAST program from a flyer on the prasadam hall bulletin board. It was late afternoon and I remember the main lights were off in the temple room, so the only illumination was coming from the Deities altar and from the light over Srila Prabhupada’s murti. It was quiet and still. Then all of a sudden the temple room door flung open and in walked Gurudeva. He was alone, but his energy was so intense! The room felt electric and vibrating. I was up near the Deities, so he didn’t see me. He walked over to Srila Prabhupada, paid obeisances and stood in front of him with folded palms for what seemed an eternity. He then quickly darted back out of the temple room. I had this feeling like I had just witnessed this intimate, silent conversation between him and Srila Prabhupada. I just remember sitting there thinking, “My god…that was him! That was Bhakti Tirtha Swami! That’s my Gurudeva!”
FIRST HOME PROGRAM
At the program at Radhasundari and Hladini Shakti prabhus’ home that evening is where I was able to first see and hear from Gurudeva in person. He walked in like a king and surcharged the environment/atmosphere so intensely. He radiated such amazing, transcendental energy. I brought a drawing to give to Gurudeva as a gift. I knew he would be there, because I was previously attending the IFAST programs at their home. At that time I had seen a printed, photocopied booklet with a picture of Gurudeva on the cover wearing his Nehru jacket and hat and a garland, with his hands in a praying position. I felt some connection to him just from seeing that fuzzy, photocopied image. I later asked Radhasundari about this feeling, that if this could be my Guru. She said to keep an open mind to other Gurus and to hear from as many senior devotees as I could and that in time Krishna would reveal to me who my Guru was. At the same time she said there could definitely be a connection with him and that time would tell. But I knew without a doubt in that moment that he was my Gurudeva. So back to that home program where he was speaking, I gave the drawing to Hladini Shakti to give to Gurudeva. He presented it to Gurudeva and I watched from a short distance as he looked at it. Then Hladini Shakti relayed my desire to meet with him for a personal darshan. So we made arrangements to meet the next day.
THE FIRST PERSONAL MEETING
I came to the Devasadan Mandir early in the morning. I remember there was snow everywhere and it was cold out. I walk in through the front entrance of the temple with nervous anticipation. As I walk into the main foyer area I can hear classical music playing from upstairs where the restaurant is. Garuda prabhu is with Gurudeva, traveling with him as his personal servant and secretary. He greets me downstairs and takes me up to the restaurant where Gurudeva is. He first goes in and announces to Gurudeva that I’ve arrived. He comes back out a moment later and says, “You can go in now.” I walk in and pay my obeisances. Gurudeva is sitting at a small table drinking ginger tea. As I sit up he greets me and tells me to sit down with him. I sit in the chair across from him. Garuda brings me a cup of tea. So there we are, Gurudeva and I drinking ginger tea, listening to classical music and Gurudeva begins asking me polite questions, like where do you live, what do you do, do you have family, etc. It’s all a blur now as to what he specifically asked me. I just remember being so nervous and in awe of his presence. The conversation is brief and he ends it by inquiring what time it is. He then says that they invited him to visit the gurukula and he asks me if I have time to come along with him. I reply that I do, so he, Garuda and I all walk over to the trailer that’s being used for the gurukula. There’s a class in session as we walk in. Gurudeva speaks to the students for a bit as Garuda and I stand off to the side. As we’re leaving Gurudeva says to me, “So now you can stay in touch with me by writing me letters every now and then.” I respond that I definitely will. I still have all of those early, printed, hand signed letters from Gurudeva. They mean so much to me. I remember driving home in a blissful state of euphoria and being excited about the future.
FOOD STUFF
Here are some random memories based around Gurudeva and his eating habits. One time Gurudeva ate a whole bag of cashews. Another time he asked me to make some popcorn. I had to run down to the temple, as there was no popcorn popper at the Institute house. It was so blissful running down through the woods in the evening, making the popcorn (he wanted salt, butter and nutritional yeast on it) and running it back up the hill and through the woods to the house. I think that was the time he commented how the salt was good for his throat, because his throat was a little sore. There was the time in Mayapur where I found a bunch of pistachio shells in his trashcan and ants had gathered around eating the crumbs. He ate once a day and most times the devotees would cook for him. It was usually healthy preps, like couscous, simple vegetables, salad and maybe bread. One time in New Vrindavan there were a lot of cookies left over from the guru-puja. Every day he and I would eat some. He told me one day to go run some errands. When I came back the plate of cookies was gone, but he had left some pieces for me as his maha. I felt so grateful eating those remnants. I remember how Gurudeva would sometimes lift his glasses up so that they rested on his head as he would read emails while eating. One time he even ate while dictating email messages. He didn’t want to waste one moment. One time, after the incident of me running away from Gita Nagari, he was really caring and kind to me. He was trying to be less intense with me and more aware of my needs. He melted my heart while we were doing his emails by walking out from the kitchen with a piece of apple pie and a fork, which he placed in front of me and said, “This is really good pie. Take a break and try it.” That memory still chokes me up. Just that level of love and personal care that he exhibited to me.
MEMORIES IN INDIA
I had the good fortune of being with Gurudeva in Sri Mayapur Dhama and Sri Vrindavan Dhama in 1997. Here are some random memories from Mayapur: 1) He was feeling thirsty and wanted a coconut. So I went out around the temple grounds and outside the grounds looking for a coconut-walla. I couldn’t find any anywhere! So I instead brought him back sugar cane juice. When I told him there were no coconuts to be found and that all I could find was the cane juice, he made a disgusted face and commented how cane juice is too sweet. But he drank it anyway. After I left the room I was going down these black marble stairs. Somehow I didn’t see the bottom stair and I tripped and slammed by hands and knee onto the hard marble floor. It was a shock! I don’t know if that was a reaction to bringing my Guru the wrong drink. 2) I became ill while in Mayapur and I was missing some of the programs and darshans. Gurudeva relayed a message to Ekavira prabhu for me to “stop playing around and take my medicine.” Within in that message was some kind of blessing, because the next day I felt perfectly fine and healthy! 3) I was in the class Gurudeva gave entitled “Protecting Srila Prabhupada’s House”. It was an intense lecture and after it was finished I was walking out with him back to his room. He was wearing a gigantic garland. I said to him with appreciation, “Gurudeva, that was a very powerful class.” He smiled and said, “I have to be careful how I speak…sometimes I get so fired up!” 4) In the mornings he would fly down the stairs to the temple room. To this day whenever I’m walking down stairs I think of Gurudeva and remember how fast he went down the stairs. I don’t know how he did it. It was like he was gliding, like not even taking steps or lifting his legs. It was really something to witness. I could barely keep up with him. Then we traveled to Vrindavan. There was some plan that I would fly with him to Delhi, but then the plans changed and I ended up going with the rest of the devotees by train. Here are some random Vrindavan memories: 1) After Gurudeva’s vyasa-puja we were in a car traveling back to the ashram where he was staying. Gurudeva was in the front seat and I was in the back seat with the head pujari. They were having some conversation and I was just sitting there quietly. Then there was a moment of silence in the car. All of a sudden Gurudeva turns around and says, “Jayadeva! Here’s your chance to do some Deity seva!” pointing out that I was in the car with the head pujari and could ask for some service. It was amazing to me, because I had never verbally mentioned to Gurudeva that I wanted to do Deity seva in Vrindavan, but that’s how deeply he knew our hearts and desires. 2) We took a trip to Mathura to visit one of the largest, main temples there (I can’t remember the name now). While there we did a small kirtan for the pleasure of the Deities. A small family of Brijbasis was also present, but otherwise the temple room was empty. As we were sitting there performing kirtan a little boy stood up and started dancing ecstatically. Not in a crazy, wild fashion, but in a very deliberate, slow, rhythmic dance. It was completely enchanting. Some elderly, Indian-bodied ladies were smiling and clapping. Gurudeva had a huge grin and was also clapping to encourage this young boy. The dance is hard to explain in words, but he was doing this little step thing, with every step making his hip flick outwards. And with his hands he had one on his hip and the other one in the air, spinning and rotating like a dancing snake. It was amazing. After the kirtan Gurudeva leaned over to me, still smiling and said, “You should learn to dance like THAT in kirtan!”
RANDOM MEMORIES
I was on the phone relaying a message from Gurudeva to another disciple. Gurudeva wasn’t very happy with the person. I don’t remember the details of the conversation or why he was upset, but he wanted me to relay something that I thought was really intense and I felt uncomfortable saying it to this god sibling. So I somehow changed the message to make it a little less harsh sounding. Gurudeva quickly cut me off annoyed and said, “That’s not what I said! I said _________! Tell them I said ________!” I could tell that he was upset that I had changed what he said. He wanted me to repeat his message and to be direct.
New York Ratha Yatra. Gurudeva needed to use the restroom, but there were no outdoor portable restrooms on the parade route. So he, our god brother Agni and I ran off the route and into a large mall type building. We were moving fast, because Gurudeva didn’t want to get too far behind the parade. So we were weaving in and out and around customers. I think Agni was holding Gurudeva’s large, flat drum. We were all drenched in sweat. We followed the signs to the restrooms, but they were upstairs on another level, so we had to take an elevator. I remember being packed in the elevator with other people and there was a super awkward silence. That elevator seemed to take forever to go up one level! Gurudeva handed me his sannyasa cloth and bead bag and ran into the restroom. Then he came back out quickly and we again darted our way back to the elevator and back through the crowds of customers to the main entrance. There’s really no message in this memory! Haha. It was just nice being with Gurudeva, even in these seemingly mundane events.
Once in Detroit we were leaving a home program. It was a small and intimate program and Gurudeva lead an ecstatic kirtan in which everyone ended up standing up and dancing, even the older Prabhupada disciples that were normally more reserved and would never dance in kirtan. I was in the car with him and I believe Sri Nandanandana was driving him back to his house where he was staying. I said to Gurudeva, “You’re a very special servant of Krishna, Gurudeva!” He smiled and quickly replied, “We’re ALL special servants of Krishna!”
Once also in Detroit he was staying at the home of Jagat-purusa prabhu (technically I think it was a house that Jagat-purusa prabhu was home sitting for). During our stay there (I was staying in a separate room and was there for any of Gurudeva’s needs) I had asked him, “Gurudeva, it’s said that Srila Prabhupada is a shaktyavesa avatar, so does that mean he always appears after Lord Caitanya…” Gurudeva quickly cut me off and said with an intense tone, “Srila Prabhupada is a nitya-siddha and can appear whenever and wherever he wishes!” I was caught off guard with the intensity of Gurudeva’s reply. It was like he was irritated with my neophyte understanding of his beloved Gurudeva, Srila Prabhupada. I’ll never forget that moment.
Once driving from the Gita Nagari temple back to the Institute house I was sitting in the back seat and I asked Gurudeva about chanting with inattentiveness. I was questioning the value of chanting inattentive japa versus not chanting at all. Gurudeva told me it was better to chant then to not chant and to pray to have the attentiveness and to make the effort to try and focus on the sound of the Holy Name.
EVENING SEVA
Evening routines at Gita-nagari. These were very sweet times. After a day of answering e-mails and Deity seva I would come back to the Institute house in the evenings to massage Gurudeva’s knees and feet. I would unroll this rectangular piece of 1-inch thick foam that he kept rolled up in his closet, lay it on the floor and place a twin-size sheet over it. That was his “bed”. I don’t remember there being a pillow, but I imagine there must have been one. He would lay on his back to fall asleep, but I honestly don’t think he ever really fully fell asleep. We would sometimes turn on a CD. Sometimes it would be a “new age” kind of instrumental music with synths and relaxing sounds. At one point he would put on Karnamrta dasi’s CD every night. While the music played I would massage beginning with his knees. He would often mention how his knees were sore. Then I would move to his feet. He would tell me to be careful with the foot with the large growth, as he said it was tender. When he found out my father was a massage therapist and knew something about reflexology and that he had taught me a little about it, he asked me to press on certain points that would be bothering him. For example, there was a time when he was having bladder issues, so he would ask me to focus on that point on his foot that correlated with his bladder (according to reflexology). Or if he were having a headache he would ask me to focus on that point on his foot. (One time he asked me to massage his head before he laid down for rest due to some chronic headache.) Sometimes as I would be massaging and placing pressure on certain points he would say, “Wait…right there…what is that spot? (meaning what did it relate to in the body according to reflexology). That spot there is a little tender.” There was never any indication of when to stop the massage. I never heard him fall into any sleep, like with snoring or changes in breathing pattern. I would just take my time with the massage and when it seemed he was relaxed I would move the bottle of massage oil or lotion and quietly stand up and tip-toe out of the room, quietly closing the door behind me. I would sometimes have to get up at 3:30am to get ready to wake Sri Sri Radha-Damodara and I didn’t have an alarm clock. So I would go downstairs and lay on the bare floor on my back (without a blanket or pillow) and leave the lights on so that I wouldn’t fall asleep too deeply. I would usually just fall into a light sleep for 4-5 hours. One time Gurudeva noticed that I was leaving the light on (which in retrospect I don’t know how he knew the light was on, since I was downstairs. I never heard him get up or heard him walking around upstairs) and he questioned why I was doing this. I explained that I didn’t want to oversleep so I would sleep with the light on. He didn’t really say anything in response, just kind of a sound of acknowledgement like, “Huh.” I really miss that intimate seva the most. Even though it was so intense (because I would always be so exhausted) it was very blissful. I think that’s why he once said to me that even though I was so stuck on the mental platform during my service, that one day I would look back on it with extreme gratitude. Nothing could be truer.
JAPA WALK
We’re out walking on the main road near Gita Nagari farm. We’re on a japa walk. It’s sweet and amazing being alone with him at this time. It’s just he and I walking and chanting on our japa beads. We walk over to an old abandoned covered bridge. Gurudeva inspects it, still continuing to chant his japa. He turns to me and says he needs to relieve his bladder and then begins looking for a place to urinate. There’s a small opening of open field that runs up to a wall of trees, bushes and foliage. Gurudeva hands me his japa bead bag and walks over to the line of trees and passes urine. He then looks around where to wipe his hands. There’s a tree that’s over hanging a bit with large leaves. Gurudeva plucks a couple leaves from the tree and rubs them over his hands, then tosses them into the bushes. He takes his bead bag back and begins chanting japa again. As we’re walking down the road again an elderly couple is coming towards us. Gurudeva takes his hand out of his bead bag and tells me to do the same. As they get closer he gives them a big smile and says hello. They exchange pleasantries as we keep walking by. Gurudeva then puts his hand back in his bead bag and continues chanting. I then realize he did this so as not to scare or disturb this couple. He didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable or nervous. He was always so constantly aware of other people’s energies.
MORE RANDOM MEMORIES
I’m driving Gurudeva from Gita Nagari to Pittsburgh and then New Vrindavan. We’re using my god brother’s older car. It’s the kind of car that doesn’t really instill confidence in its reliability, but it’s the only car available for the trip. Half way into the trip the car start sputtering and shaking. I pull over to the side of the road and open the hood. There is now white smoke coming out of the engine and the car won’t start up again. I feel so terrible as Gurudeva has to endure this. I can’t remember how we eventually called a tow truck (this was before everyone on the planet had a cell phone). So we get into the tow truck and drive to a local car repair shop. Apparently the car needs a new alternator. Of course being a brahmacari I don’t have any money or credit cards or anything. Fortunately Gurudeva has cash with him. So he had to pay with his own money to get this car fixed! It was insane. I felt so bad. As we were sitting in the shop waiting for the car to be fixed I apologized to Gurudeva and said we would pay him back. He smiled and laughed and said something like, “You better be paying me back!” Even though I was in a ridiculous amount of anxiety, Gurudeva seemed completely unfazed by the whole experience.
Once on the way back to Gita Nagari from Lewistown (I think we went to Walmart for some reason) it was just Gurudeva and I in the car. Since I had this time with him alone I figured I would ask him a personal question that I was very curious about. I knew Gurudeva was very psychically attuned and sensitive to subtle phenomenon, so I assumed he was probably aware of his past lives and his previous relationship with Srila Prabhupada. So I mustered up the courage and asked, “Gurudeva…I was wondering…do you remember your previous relationship with Srila Prabhupada in a past life?” He was quiet for a moment and then simply replied, “Uhh…to some extent.” Then he was silent. The silence was intense and deafening. I could feel by his energy and mood that I had just asked an extremely inappropriate and personal question, one that I was not qualified to know the answer to. I sat there in the silence feeling like an idiot and I never again asked him about it.
Speaking of asking questions I was not qualified to ask, also at Gita Nagari, I once asked him about a topic he would sometimes bring up in classes. He would sometimes say that there were higher entities that were at Gita Nagari. I didn’t know if he meant demigods or what, so one day while I was serving him at the Institute House I asked, “Gurudeva, you know how you always mention there are higher beings in the environment here…I was curious…who are those beings?” He replied very vaguely with, “Uhh, just like there are higher beings and lower beings. Like there are ants, but there are also beings that are higher. Like that.” I had another one of those I-probably-shouldn’t-have-asked-that-question moments and just stayed quiet without pursuing more details.
One time while living in the Detroit temple I was going to make a painting of the Panca-tattva (which for some reason I started but never actually finished), but I had this idea to show Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu with a shaved head. I asked Gurudeva if that would be bonafide to which he responded with a question, “How is He normally depicted in the paintings?” I replied, “With hair.” He then said, “Then that’s how you should show Him.”
Once while serving him in Detroit I was so exhausted that I went to the room I was staying in to chant some japa while waiting for his prasadam to be delivered by another devotee. I sat down on the end of the bed chanting. Then I laid back and thought I would close my eyes for a moment. The next thing I know I hear Gurudeva’s voice saying, “Haribol! Haribol! Bhakta Jason! Haribol! I think the prasadam is here.” I jumped off the bed and instinctually dropped into obeisances. After he walked out I wiped the drool off of my chin. I was so disoriented and confused. It was so embarrassing. It was this same visit when in the morning that he was leaving I was sitting in that same room chanting japa in the dark. He came into the room and opened up the curtains to let the morning sun come shining in. It was very symbolic. He then stayed in the room and paced back and forth chanting japa with me.
One time I asked him if he was consciously aware of appearing in his disciples’ dreams. (This was probably another one of those questions I shouldn’t have been asking!) He was polite and replied, “Uh, sometimes that’s there.”
Once while staying in Maryland I had to drive Gurudeva to the bank. I sat in the car while he went inside to do what he needed to do. When he came back there was some conversation that made me wonder when his birthday was. (I actually knew, but in that moment for whatever reason I couldn’t recall it.) I asked, “Gurudeva, when is your actual birthday?” Oh my. What a dumb question on so many levels! Gurudeva was even shocked and replied sharply, “You don’t know your own Guru’s birthday?!” I was taken aback and couldn’t speak. Seeing my floundering he quickly replied with disbelief, “February 25th, 1950.” I felt like such an idiot and after he said it I was like, “Wait…I knew that…why did I ask that?!” I guess Krishna thought it was funny.
I remember once while Gurudeva was dictating an email message to some of his god brothers that he was very concerned for their health. He was lovingly encouraging them to take care of their physical bodies and to not always push themselves so hard with excessive traveling, lack of sleep and lack of nourishment. He then said to me to the side that so many of the leaders were falling ill from pushing themselves too hard and how it was important to find a balance. In retrospect it’s interesting to note his genuine concern for others, yet he never took his own health into consideration.
Once while at Gita Nagari he wanted to go outside to write some of his Beggar entries. So he asked me to bring a rocking chair out to the swing set that was outside on the Institute lawn. I remember it was super awkward and difficult to maneuver the large rocking chair up the ladder and into the small space at the top of the swing set. It had a little roof over top of it. I went back inside and told Gurudeva it was set up. He went out there with his notebook and pen. I remember looking out of his window from inside and I could see him sitting out there in the chair. It was such a sweet moment for some inexplicable reason watching him quietly writing out there. It’s these kind of small, little memories that really make me miss his physical presence.
Gurudeva used to have me print out his emails so that he could read them before dictating replies. This would create many challenges if we were traveling or if the printer broke, etc. One time I mentioned he could just read the emails on the computer screen, but he replied that he didn’t like doing it that way and that it strained his eyes. So anyway, at the end of dictating emails he would have a stack of printed emails. He would give them back to me to reuse by printing on the back of the paper. Once both sides had been printed on he would just tell me to throw them out. On one occasion he handed me the stack of emails and I took them with me like usual. Then I headed downstairs at the Institute House to connect the laptop computer to the dial-up Internet. As I was sending the emails I noticed a hand written note, in pen, on one of the printed emails. It was at the top of the paper and said “Please Krishna’s senses. Do not mind my personal distress.” I don’t know if Gurudeva wrote that as a reminder of what he was going to say in an email reply, if he was writing that for himself or if he wrote that with the intention of me seeing it. In any case I took it as a personal message. I carefully cut the top of that paper off before discarding the papers. Many years later I had that hand-written note framed along with a photo of Gurudeva and I. The importance of that message still resonates with me to this very day: advancement in Krishna Consciousness is all based upon the degree of our selflessness.
That echoes something Gurudeva wrote in my copy of Spiritual Warrior 2 in which he wrote to me: “Lust constantly attacks us on the gross and subtle levels. We will constantly be defeated unless we become truly selfless. Yours in the struggle for unconditional love, Swami Krishnapada”.
THE LAST DARSHAN
After Gurudeva found out he had cancer and had his leg amputated he was staying at Gita Nagari. I had left Gita Nagari in 2002 and moved back to Michigan. In 2004 I met my wife and moved to New Jersey. I knew that his time on this planet was drawing to a close, so I wanted to see him and have his physical association one last time. I think it was late 2004 or early 2005 when I drove from New Jersey to Gita Nagari to see him. There were a lot of devotees coming to see him and the Institute House was buzzing with activity. I remember waiting for my turn to go into his room to speak with him. They were letting devotees go in as small groups. I don’t remember who was in the room with me. (I remember there was a mataji there, because when we left the room she expressed to me feeling humbled by witnessing the sweetness of my exchange with Gurudeva.) I’m sitting there on the floor and just listening quietly as Gurudeva was speaking to the other devotees. Finally there is some opportunity to speak, so I say, “Gurudeva…I just wanted to apologize to you for all of my offenses and for not being able to surrender to you completely.” He had a big grin and replied, “I want to apologize to YOU for being so hard on you!” I was caught off guard with the power of his humility and in turn I felt extremely humbled. I replied, “No, no Gurudeva! You have no reason to apologize! I was just too selfish to accept your full love and mercy.” At this point in the memory I don’t remember what his response was. It has blurred with the passing of time. All I remember vividly was the energy of love and compassion and humility radiating from his being as he sat on the couch in his room. I think he wrapped up the darshan and said there were more devotees waiting. I paid obeisances and that’s the last time I physically saw him.
The next time I saw Gurudeva he had already left behind his mortal form. I remember getting the automated phone call that he was in the final stages of leaving his body. My wife and I jumped in the car and started driving to Gita Nagari from New Jersey, which was about a 3-hour drive. As we were passing through Harrisburg, Pennsylvania my cell phone rang again. It was the message that he had left his body. I felt like an empty shell. I was stunned and sitting in the passenger seat quietly. I felt sadness that I wasn’t there. It was only afterwards when I saw the photos of the state he was in that I realized Krishna had protected me from seeing him like that. If I had walked in and saw him in that condition (after the last time seeing him he was vibrant and smiling and sitting on his couch) I probably would have lost it emotionally and just been a disturbance. I remember walking down the hill in the procession that carried his body to the temple. I remember standing in front of his body in the temple room and just starring at his face and being filled with so many emotions. Mother Vrajalila was there next to me and handed me a maha incense stick. I didn’t cry at the time, but now, even all of this time later, thinking too intensely about Gurudeva and his departure can send me into fits of uncontrollable crying and sobbing. I miss him so much. And there were so many more experiences I wanted to share with him. Sometimes I feel so lost without him and I pray to Krishna to somehow bring me back into contact with him. There is so much solace in the association of my god family. I pray to Gurudeva to never leave me and that in the next life I can be reunited with him.
IN CONCLUSION
There is so much more that could be said and so many more memories that could be mined from my mind if I continued reflecting on Gurudeva and my experiences with him. But for now I will leave this here. I could even spend so much time discussing my correspondences with him and the things he told me in letters and emails, but it would be overwhelming for everyone (for me in writing and for the devotees in reading!). There are also the things from dreams, but those are generally quite personal in meaning and I don’t feel like sharing everything. I also have purposely left things out of these memories that were of a personal nature. But I hope and pray that the memories I have shared above are enlivening for the disciples of Srila Bhakti Tirtha Swami Maharaja. Perhaps in the future I will share even more for the pleasure of the devotees. I pray to all of you that have read this to please forgive me for any offenses and to please not think I have shared these memories for my own ego-boosting purposes. I have only written these things to keep Gurudeva’s presence alive in my own heart and hopefully in your hearts as well. All glories to Srila Bhakti Tirtha Swami Maharaja! All glories to the disciples and well-wishers of Gurudeva! All glories to His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaja Srila Prabhupada! All glories to the assembly of Vaishnavas! All glories to Sri Sri Guru and Gauranga! All glories to Sri Nityananda Prabhu! Jai Nitai Jai Nitai Jai Nitai!
Krishna Castle, Thursday Night Harinama Party
→ simple thoughts
Dear Prabhus,
Please accept my humble obeisances
Aill glories to Srila Prabhupada
There is now a wonderful regular Thursday Harinam Festival in central London. It starts at 10.30am from the Radha Krishna Temple in Soho street. Then up and down Oxford street and around the West End, returns to Soho street by 12 mid day, to pick up more devotees.
Then to the Universities to accompany the Prasad Distribution, a visit to Krishna’s Castle, and back to Soho Street at 3pm to collect more devotees and back on the street. During this time the Kirtan never stops.
Then onwards to Krishna’s Castle for a public program at 6pm, more Kirtan, class and a feast. During this time Vasudev prabhu has his late night shopping Kirtan on Oxford street. Kirtan singers are many but include Paribrajaka Maharaj, Govinda Prabhu, Kulashakar Prabhu, Giri Prabhu,Ananta Purusottama prabhu, Rabindra Prabhu,Ratnavali Prabhu, Kalindi Prabhu,to name a few.
Please join this joyful Harinam
Everyone is welcome
Your servant
Parasuram das
Harinama Sankirtana @ Bedugul Bali (12 min video)
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Harinama Sankirtana @ Bedugul Bali (12 min video)
Srila Prabhupada: It is very simple, very simple – simply thinking of Krsna. Smartavyah satatam visnur vismartavyo na jatucit. Always, simply if you think that Hare Krsna, if you think simply Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare, that is sufficient, even if you do not go into the Bhagavad-gita, if you do not go in the Srimad-Bhagavatam, simply as you are chanting. Krsna has given us the ear, and Krsna has given us the tongue. No expense, no difficulty. You haven’t got to go to college and take degrees to become Krsna conscious. It is easy for the rich, for the poor, for the learned, for the fool, for the black, for the white, for the rich, for the poor, everyone. There is no distinction because Krsna is for everyone. -From Srila Prabhupada’s lecture on Bhagavad-gita 4.12-13 – July 29, 1966, New York
Iskcon Vrindavan Ratha Yatra (Album with photos)
Srila…
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Iskcon Vrindavan Ratha Yatra (Album with photos)
Srila Prabhupada: Happiness is meant for the devotees, not for the karmis, the jnanis or the yogis. It is the property of the devotees. Just like these devotees are chanting very happily. They are not expecting anything. They are happy by chanting. That’s all. Srila Prabhupada – June 22, 1975, Los Angeles
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A beautiful rendition of Jayadev Prabhu’s Madana Mohan…
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A beautiful rendition of Jayadev Prabhu’s Madana Mohan choreographed by himself and performed by his gifted family members. (12 min video)
Jayadev das: Today is My Guru Maharaj’s appearance day.
My family has been working (like secret squirrels) for these last two months preparing a tribute to Srimati Radharani viz Madan Mohan Mohini.
This was the puja to Harihara
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The sole benefit of taking birth in the material world
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- Taking birth in the material world is not something to brag about
- The good thing was to get the association of guru, Kṛṣṇa and the vaiṣṇavas
- We quickly discard childhood gifts but I hope I will never neglect or abuse Śrīla Prabhupāda’s gifts
- The greatest gift was the servcice of Rādhā-Śyāmasundara, an ever expanding gift
- Being able to do the best good for others
- I pray today for the eternal service of Rādhā-Śyāmasundara available by the blessings of the vaiṣṇavas which I am seeking
- Heading to Hari-Hara today and honoring Jagannātha’s mahā-prasādam
This was a greeting I received this morning from Jayadeva and his family choir
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First evening at the Sacred Sound Retreat, with BB Govinda Swami…
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First evening at the Sacred Sound Retreat, with BB Govinda Swami at Iskcon New Govardhana, Australia (video)
Harinama in Florence (Firenze) Italy yesterday (Album with…
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Harinama in Florence (Firenze) Italy yesterday (Album with photos)
Srila Prabhupada: The bhaktivedantas are impartial in distributing the transcendental knowledge of devotional service. To them no one is enemy or friend; no one is educated or uneducated. No one is especially favorable, and no one is unfavorable. The bhakti-vedantas see that the people in general are wasting time in false sensuous things. Their business is to get the ignorant mass of people to reestablish their lost relationship with the Personality of Godhead. By such endeavor, even the most forgetful soul is roused up to the sense of spiritual life, and thus being initiated by the bhakti-vedantas, the people in general gradually progress on the path of transcendental realization. From Srila Prabhupada’s purport to SB 1.5.24
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The Gurukula building in Krishna Völgy, Hungary (Album with…
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The Gurukula building in Krishna Völgy, Hungary (Album with photos)
Krishna Valley Gurukula - 26 March 2018. Excellent facilities from 1st to 12th grades. Students are given small plots next to the building to learn gardening.
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The passing of Vrikodara Prabhu
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Vrikodara das, (Victor Mistretta), disciple of His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, passed away January 26, 2018, in Miami, Florida. He was 68 years old, and had terminal cancer. He had been the temple president of ISKCON New Orleans and the ISKCON New Talavan farm community for many years, as well as in charge of the devotee school at New Talavan. Appointment of Director for Prevention of Leader Misconduct Office
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By The GBC Whereas someone skilled and experienced is required to establish and develop the new ISKCON International Office for the Prevention of Leader Misconduct (PLM Office); Whereas Champakalata dd has volunteered to take up this service; Resolved: That Champakalata Devi Dasi is appointed as the Director of the ISKCON International Office for the Prevention of Leader Misconduct (PLM Office) for a period of two years from March 2018 to February 2020. It is further resolved that the mandate and performance of the PLM Office will be subject to review by the GBC Body (as with other Offices and Ministries). The PLM Office Director will report to the GBC EC through the ISKCON Executive Secretariat. Continue reading "Appointment of Director for Prevention of Leader Misconduct Office
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Dedication of Time to Guru-Related Research
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By the GBC Whereas the issues of implementation of Vaishnavi diksa-gurus and disciples initiating in the presence of their initiating guru in ISKCON remain unresolved; Whereas there is a critical need for many more devotees to serve as diksa-guru in ISKCON; Whereas there are at least 9 million congregational members in ISKCON; Whereas ISKCON has less than 80 devotees available to give diksa to potentially 9 million people; Whereas if every congregational member sought initiation each ISKCON guru would have to accept approximately 112,500 disciples; Whereas the moratorium on both Vaishnavi and second-generation devotees serving as diksa-guru remains until the GBC concludes its research on guru-tattva in ISKCON; Whereas the GBC Body previously committed to that research and to annually review, until its conclusion, a comprehensive and inclusive understanding that delineates how diksa- and siksa-gurus unitedly work within the framework of ISKCON; Whereas the GBC stated it “is steadfastly dedicated” to accomplish the above; Resolved: The GBC recommits to its statement of 310/2015, and begins by dedicating at least two days at either every Annual General Meeting or Midterm General Meeting to this subject until the relevant aspects of this topic are resolved satisfactorily. Continue reading "Dedication of Time to Guru-Related Research
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Official Srila Prabhupada Disciple Database
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By the GBC Whereas the Srila Prabhupada Disciple Database was started in 1995 as part of the Srila Prabhupada Centennial Project under the petal of Uniting Srila Prabhupada’s Family and is based on the “Initiation Name Book” which was compiled by Srila Prabhupada’s secretaries; Whereas Mahamaya-devi dasi (ACBSP) has expanded the approximate 3,900 names from the last version of the initiation name book that she typed in 1977 by compiling through research of Srila Prabhupada’s letters and initiation tapes as well as face-to-face meetings with devotees at festivals and at temples to the current number of approximately 4750 names; Whereas the process of adding names involves thoroughly verifying that the devotee was indeed initiated by Srila Prabhupada (or his authorized representative) while he was personally present (ie. before November 14, 1977); Whereas the process of verification involves consulting with the devotees who got initiated at the same fire sacrifice or who witnessed the ceremony; or using photos that show conclusively when and where the initiation was held; Whereas there are devotees who have taken the online posting of the Srila Prabhupada Disciple Database currently hosted on Krishna.com and used that as a basis of their own online projects, pretending to be authorized or to be the official database, but who accept anyone who claims to be initiated by Srila Prabhupada without using a process of verification and who are thus causing confusion and discrediting the validity of the Srila Prabhupada Disciple Database; Resolved: That the Srila Prabhupada Disciple Database is an authorized GBC project with Mahamaya-devi dasi as the compiler. Access shall be shared with the GBC Secretariat. Continue reading "Official Srila Prabhupada Disciple Database
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If a desire is irresistible, what to do?
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Answer Podcast
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Should we take other devotees plates for washing if they don’t want to give?
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Answer Podcast
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6 Habits That Destroy Your Peace and Sanity by Rupa Goswami…
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6 Habits That Destroy Your Peace and Sanity by Rupa Goswami (video)
HH Romapada Swami at Iskcon Naperville, Mar 26, 2018
Cow Protection at Krishna Valley Goshalla, Hungary — 26 March…
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Cow Protection at Krishna Valley Goshalla, Hungary — 26 March 2018 (Album with photos)
Srila Prabhupada: Actually as I have already discussed in my Srimad-Bhagavatam, for economic problem one requires a little land and a few cows. Then the whole economic problem is solved. We should utilize our time for elevating ourselves in Krishna Consciousness than for so-called economic development. If we are satisfied with plain living, with minimum time and the balance time is engaged for elevating our Krishna Conscious program, then every man can be transferred to Goloka Vrindaban, just in this very life. The modern civilization has encumbered the mode of living and people are engaged all the time in the matter of eating, sleeping, defending, and mating. Srila Prabhupada’s letter to Hansadutta – Los Angeles 11 January 1968
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Daily Darshan: March 29, 2018
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“Pride Can’t Save Us” by HG Mahatma Prabhu
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“Pride Can’t Save Us” by HG Mahatma Prabhu - March 28, 2018 (5 min video)
Pride can’t save us from death. In fact, pride can’t do anything useful for us. Pride will cause fault finding and offenses and impede our ability to appreciate others. It can only get us in trouble. Pride is probably the biggest anartha we face. It’s at the root of our material existence and thus is the foundation of all bad qualities.
Srimad Bhagavatam 8.12.5 to 10, Class Speaker: HG Mahamaya Devi…
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Srimad Bhagavatam 8.12.5 to 10, Class Speaker: HG Mahamaya Devi Dasi on 23-03-2018 (video)
Our First ever RamaNavami Celebration
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On the 25th March 2018 ISKCON Kathwada celebrated the first Ramnavami Festival (Appearance day of Lord Ramchandra). Decorated deities, Chappan Bhoga and Abhisheka was the main attraction of the festival. Lokanath Swami inaugurates Vrindavan parikrama at Govardhan Eco Village
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Anand Caitanya das; Lokanath Swami inaugurates Vrindavan parikrama at Govardhan Eco Village An evening with HG Srutidharma Prabhu 28th Mar 18 (video)
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It is such a touching talk....Sruti is such an amazing devotee....I pray and pray that Sri Sri Radha Krishna manifest Their full mercy in his life and in the lives of his wife and son. Reading Navadvipa-bhava-taranga #2
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ISKCON Child Protection Office Policy & Operational Guidelines
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By the GBC The International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON) is committed to the well being of all individuals involved with ISKCON, especially children and other more vulnerable participants. ISKCON recognizes that children, for their full and harmonious development, need to be raised in an atmosphere of love, support, guidance and understanding. ISKCON acknowledges that children, when so raised, are likely to play a vital role in the future of our Society. Thus, placing the interests of the children first is not only in the best interest of the children themselves but also of ISKCON and society at large. Continue reading "ISKCON Child Protection Office Policy & Operational Guidelines
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TOVP News and Updates – Stay in Touch
- TOVP.org
Want to receive regular TOVP news and updates right in your email box? Just click on the link below and fill out the form, and we’ll send you regular announcements of upcoming events, construction progress, new videos, and exciting updates as we move forward to the Grand Opening of the TOVP in four years, 2022.
We’re calling this combined Maha ISKCON marathon, MISSION 22. And we are all part of this historic project, the temple built by the hands of every devotee. So stay in touch and keep informed.
Click on this link to receive TOVP News and Updates
https://goo.gl/forms/ojJ2WcUUuqWh8bXt1
Follow us at: www.facebook.com/mayapur.tovp
Watch us at: www.youtube.com/user/tovpinfo
Support us at: www.tovp.org/donate/seva-opportunities/
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ISKCON Ministry for Sannyasa Services Policy Manual
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By the GBC A sannyasi, in the varnasrama society, is expected to have material and spiritual qualifications even more exalted than those possessed by a brahmana. According to the Bhagavad-gita, a brahmana should possess the following qualities: Peacefulness, self-control, austerity, purity, tolerance, honesty, knowledge, wisdom and religiousness – these are the natural qualities by which the brahmanas work. Bg. 18.42 Therefore, a bona fide sannyasi is expected to possess the above qualities plus others such as renunciation and spiritual wisdom. If an ISKCON sannyasi breaks his vows of celibacy, becomes greedy for money, or displays other anarthas, ISKCON devotees’ faith in the sannyasa asrama is diminished. Therefore, it is a duty of the leadership of ISKCON to correct a sannyasi’s errant behaviour, and when necessary discipline him. Continue reading "ISKCON Ministry for Sannyasa Services Policy Manual
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Spiritual Advisors Bhagavata Assembly (SABHA)
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By the GBC Establishing the Spiritual Advisors Bhagavata Assembly, or SABHA, has manifold functions. It aims at strengthening unity among ISKCON’s global spiritual leaders. It facilitates their cooperation, communication and working relation for the progress of Srila Prabhupada’s movement. The SABHA provides checks and balances on the authority of the GBC and course-correction for its decisions. More consultation, more dialogue and more interaction can be conducive to better, wiser and more acceptable decisions. Continue reading "Spiritual Advisors Bhagavata Assembly (SABHA)
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Minutes Of The Annual General Meeting Sri Mayapur Dham, 2018
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The ISKCON Initiated Devotees Global Database is hereby established; all ISKCON initiating spiritual masters (and others who might be managing databases of departed diksa-gurus) shall share their disciple database with this repository upon request and on a regular basis. The ISKCON Initiated Devotees Global Database will provide a secure platform for storage, collation, information processing and management reporting, and should regularly update the database for meaningful data analysis and data mining. The database shall be owned by the Governing Body Commission and shall not be used for any other purpose without the written authorization of the Governing Body Commission. The ISKCON Initiated Devotees Global Database shall provide all initiating spiritual masters the technical platform and relevant training for effectively maintaining and operating their individual disciples’ database (within the Initiated Devotees Global Database). The Manager of the ISKCON Initiated Devotees Global Database shall develop systems for handling information requests. Caitanya Avatari Das is appointed as the Manager of the ISKCON Initiated Devotees Global Database. Continue reading "Minutes Of The Annual General Meeting Sri Mayapur Dham, 2018
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Should we have expectations while practicing bhakti?
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Shouldn’t we speak strongly to get everyone on the fast track to Krishna?
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Answer Podcast
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Are we the sum of our thoughts?
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Saturday, March 24th, 2018
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Toronto, Ontario
A Message Came
What showed up on my phone screen was the following:
You have a new message:
Message Details:
Subject - I was humbled and inspired
Message - Greetings, I wanted to pass on my best wishes and share with you a few thoughts. When you travelled through Jackson, California last summer I met you at the local park. I was enthralled at your tales from the trails. I was humbled and inspired. Since that chance meeting I have walked in the woods weekly. Your card is attached to my backpack and your presence keeps me grounded as I put one foot in front of the other. Thank you. You have added something to my life that I can’t explain but I hope someday to understand. Safe journeys… Robert
Sent on: 24 March, 2018
Thank you!
And thank you Robert.
What a ‘good feel’ message that was, as I was just about to board a plane at O’Hare Airport. I wish I had some forest to walk through today, but I'm satisfied knowing that someone is doing what we all ought to do. For the sanity of the world, let us walk.
May the Source be with you!
3 km
Friday, March 23rd, 2018
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Honolulu / Chicago
No Swimming, No Surfing, but Chanting
In late 2015, I trekked from Pearl Harbor to the north shore of Oahu, where waves are ideal for surfing. However, I haven’t seen that many people are taking advantage of the waves the south shore has to offer. It’s mostly middle-aged men who very religiously show up at that early hour to catch the best wave possible.
This year, Gurudas, Kapu and I walked along the beach at Magic Island, aka Aina Moana, where the exotic banyan trees tower above grassy domains, while the surfers pull out their boards. Speaking for myself, I’m looking for that perfect moment when I'm chanting with clarity, and with attention. Often I find myself missing the boat, so to speak, but making an endeavour to sound it out right, softly, while using my beads.
As we leave the surfing beach behind and pace along with more walkers, it’s a greeting of “Hello!” and “Good morning!” in mutual exchange. Kapu and I are in traditional garb. It catches people’s attention.
Kapu, 23, who is a native Hawaiian, was demonstrating to Gurudas and me how they used to greet one another. “It’s rare to find someone doing it today,” he told us. It’s interesting. “You put your foreheads together, even noses, and take your right hand to brace the other person’s neck.” Rather intimate isn’t it?
Kapu also told us that it was illegal to speak Hawaiian until more recently. Rather sick, I would say. Can you imagine living in a place where it is illegal to chant on beads, something that you’re thoroughly accustomed to doing?
May the Source be with you!
5 km
Krishna Lounge 3-22-18
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Accept guidance from others, that is true humility.
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(Kadamba Kanana Swami, March 2008, Durban, South Africa)
So humility is the key element in our spiritual life. Humility means that we are ready to put our own ideas aside, and that is an essential element in humility. It is not that necessarily one is always walking with the head a little bowed down, looking at the ground with folded hands – that may not necessarily be humble. Humble is simply that we are ready to accept others as our superiors and we’re open to accept guidance from others. That is true humility. So humility must not be mistaken for externally acting very timid and keeping oneself always in the background; that is not true humility. True humility, rather, is simply submitting oneself before superior persons and ask, “What should I do?” That is true humility. It’s not simple. To take guidance of the vaisnavas, to take guidance of the scriptures – that is humility. To hold the scriptures in such high esteem and say, “Yes, these scriptures will become the guidelines in my life”, that is humility.
We can see that we don’t have it, that rather we are practicing and under the circumstances we’re trying to have a humble attitude but it’s very difficult to take shelter of superiors – very hard, very difficult. Our independence is very great and we’d rather figure it out ourselves. “Is everything fine?” “Yes, yes, very fine…” And then afterwards – it’s total chaos but somehow or other we’ll work it out because we rather not take the risk that someone else tells us to do something we don’t like. So humility requires that we are ready to allow others control our lives, that is a big thing.
This theme of humility is a major theme in spiritual life and that is why we are looking at it – because it can purchase the Lord.
(Kadamba Kanana Swami, March 2008, Durban, South Africa)
The article " Accept guidance from others, that is true humility. " was published on KKSBlog.