Planet ISKCON

The first full moon of the autumn season marks the celebration of Krsna’s dancing with the gopis.

On this day the deities of Vrndavan are nicely decorated in white. Krsna lila dramas are enacted. Because the moon is very auspicious, the vrajavasis leave pots of sweet rice exposed to the full moon for the whole night, to turn the sweet rice into ambrosial amrta.

The purnima or full moon of Damodara month is the second full moon of the autumn season, and rasa lila is again celebrated.

On this day one should perform full worship of Radha and Krsna with many flowers, and place them in a rasa mandapa surrounded by the gopis.

Yet an other Rathayatra festival by ISKCON Auckland in New Zealand (Album with photos)
Srila Prabhupada: Depend on Krishna, because after all, He is the ultimate Master of all situations. It is not the doctor, or the medicine, or the place, but it is ultimately Krishna who is the Master to do everything. Letter to Rayarama, March 20, 1969.
Find them here: https://goo.gl/ma5Bk9

Our second and final parikrama around Govardhan Hill this Kartika yielded some wonderful photos showing the beauty and sanctity of one of Vrindavan’s most sacred places.

ISKCON of Silicon Valley Gopastami (6 min video)
Team ISV Go puja for ISV Cow Surabhi at Live Earth Farm at Watsonville, CA
Watch it here: https://goo.gl/0qyxJf

Effect of Krishna Schools: Views of Former Students

By Urmila devi dasi

Introduction

We were taught to be independent thinkers—think outside of the box. We would analyze other philosophy and our own philosophy critically, not just doing this because it’s what my mommy did but because it’s the truth and it will make me happy. It was validated year after year. (Kalindi , one of the interviewees who received her primary and secondary education in Hare Krishna schools.)

Throughout most of the world, religious organizations have primary and secondary schools where students can gain knowledge and experience of their tradition in the context of academic learning. Whereas in some countries nearly all schools are religiously based, it is far more the norm in most nations for various religious denominations to have schools side by side with secular educational institutions. Some countries, such as New Zealand and the Netherlands, offer a wide range of support, including financial, to religious schools. In most nations with secular governments, however, a religious school is a private enterprise that exists primarily due to the dedication of staff and parents.

Although faith is fragile for students of religious homes learning in a secular culture (MacMullen, 2004), the mainstream educational research literature all but ignores religious groups in studies of multiculturalism (Grace, 2003). Not only are there almost no studies of students from various religious cultures in secular schools, but also neither secular nor religious educators and researchers attempt many empirical studies of faith-based schools and their effect on their students and society (Dickson, 2004; Dijkstra & Veenstra, 2001; Driesson, 2002; Grace, 2003). There are even very few theoretical models of the value of religious schools, or the effect upon children from religious homes who attend secular schools (Driesson, 2002; Grace, 2003; MacMullen, 2004).
A society in which people from diverse backgrounds, with individual strengths and challenges, work together for the common good is one definition of an ideal democracy (Kahne, 1994). Therefore, “education within a pluralistic society should affirm and help students understand their home and community cultures. However, it should also help free them from their cultural boundaries” (Banks, 1999, p. 4).

Conceptual Framework
Collective cultural identity, or strengthening students’ identification with a faith community, is generally a goal of religious schools (Frances, 2002) and is often necessary in order for individuals to embrace a religious faith (Rochford, 1999). At the same time, religious schools help students to make autonomous choices about individual identity through training in knowledge about their families’ religion, as well as having opportunities to experience that religion by practice (MacMullen, 2004). Religious knowledge includes the epistemology, or process of discerning the good. Members of a faith community generally share the same epistemology, even if their specific conclusions about what is good differ from one another (Dagovitz, 2004). Beyond accepting an epistemology, an affective experience of the good is essential in order to make moral choices (Ferrari & Okamoto, 2003; James, 1902; Piaget, 1962), and one purpose of religious schools is to imbue students with a moral sense (Johnson, 2002).

Based on the above premises, there are two main concepts in this study’s conceptual framework, that of spiritual transformation and that of identity. Identity, individual and collective, serves as a foundation for spiritual transformation. At the same time, spiritual experience and its branches reinforce individual and collective identity. Moral behaviors may set the stage for religious practice, which leads to knowledge, and then spiritual transformation. As a person becomes spiritually transformed, he or she will become inspired to act morally, practice religion, and develop knowledge. The circle can start at any point and each element tends to increase the others, though the goal is spiritual transformation. Religious schools can contribute to each of these interrelated parts of the goal of students’ religious education. (See download files for figure.)

Without knowing something about the effects of religious schools regarding topics such as affective spiritual experiences and autonomous identity—some of the primary reasons for such schools’ existence—it is almost impossible for educational leaders and teachers to emphasize what parts of their program are effective and what parts should be modified or discarded.

The Hare Krishna Movement
The Vaisnava religious tradition, a major part of a spiritual heritage based on the sacred writings of the Vedas, is one of the oldest religions on earth. The Gaudiya section of Vaisnavism is a few hundred years old, and its manifestation as the Hare Krishna Movement, or International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON) has been extant for only 40 years. ISKCON’s first primary school opened in Dallas, Texas, in the late 1960s. Since then, primary and secondary schools have started worldwide, with by far the largest number of enrolled students in India.

Practically all the research on ISKCON has been done through ethnographies or other qualitative methods. The focus of research (Braswell, 1986; Cox, Shinn, Hopkins, Basham, & Shrivatsa, 1983; Danier, 1974; Mukunda, 2001; Rochford, 1985, 1992, 1995; Rosen, 1992; Shinn, 1987; Weiss & Mendoza, 1990) has been on why people join ISKCON, how ISKCON is organized socially, the religious and philosophical tradition on which it is based, and the mental health of members. One of the few quantitative studies was that of Weiss and Mendoza (1990) who found that members had mental health comparable to those in more traditional Western religions, with the only significant finding being a greater sense of well-being associated with increased acculturation. However, they conclude that the existence of two strong concomitant factors does not imply causality. It is also unclear whether their definition of acculturation is similar to that of Anthony’s (2003) inculturation that involves synergy between a person’s religion and the surrounding culture.

Much of the qualitative research (such as Danier, 1974; Mukunda, 2001; Shin, 1987) has an emphasis both on the inner life of members and the degree to which they both have their own religious identity and can function in the larger society. Researchers agree (for example, Shinn, 1987) that members have made an autonomous decision to adopt a Hare Krishna lifestyle, often after extended study of the religion. All researchers note the ISKCON belief in one God—called Krishna—who is loving and personal, the doctrine of karma and reincarnation, and a lifestyle that includes avoiding illicit sex, intoxication, gambling, and the eating of meat, fish, or eggs.

Also relevant to this study, though not a study of ISKCON members per se, is a true experiment as to whether chanting the Hare Krishna mantra would increase the mode of goodness as explained in sacred writings such as the Bhagavad-gita. Goodness involves “understanding by which one knows what ought to be done and what ought not to be done, what is to be feared and what is not to be feared, what is binding and what is liberating (Bhagavad-gita, 18.30). A person in goodness will feel mentally satisfied, be self-controlled, honest, wise, clean, not unnecessarily violent, and will speak only what is both truthful and beneficial in such a way that others are not disturbed (Bhurijana, 1995, p. 417). The findings of Wolf and Abell (2003) showed a significant positive correlation between the spiritual practice of chanting Hare Krishna and the mode of goodness, including an increase in peacefulness and general mental health.

Schools and Children of the Hare Krishna Movement
Almost all the literature on ISKCON concerns adults. A few magazine and newspaper articles, as well as some television shows, have focused on Krishna children and schools, but none of these has been a rigorous qualitative or quantitative study. The first, and possibly only, thorough study of an ISKCON school (Lilliston, 1985) involved two weeks of observation and coding of student behavior. This took place at a boarding school in upstate New York. Unstructured interviews with teachers, administrators, and some parents, loosely focused on: (a) expectations for the children, (b) interpretations of children’s behavior, and (c) relating perceptions and beliefs to the philosophy of Krishna consciousness (p. 5). In addition to observations of the 72 children aged five to 15 years, Lilliston also administered a series of clinical assessments to 30 of the students. Assessments included the Standford Binet, some norm-referenced achievement tests, a moral dilemmas measure, and projective story telling. He also interviewed each child. He found no greater psychiatric problems than exist in the general population. Academically, students were, on average, one to three grades ahead of their public school peers, with an average I.Q. of 106. He found the children normal on measures of creativity, moral reasoning (80% in terms of interpersonal sensitivity, with the majority of children reasoning in terms of justice), self-monitoring, self-regulation (in which they were significantly high), spontaneity, and situational discrimination (in which they were significantly high).

While Lilliston’s (1985) study indicates a possible positive correlation between the school and children’s academic and moral development, the research was not controlled for other factors such as family level of education, income, and so forth. The primary aim of the research was to determine if there was any harm to the children, with results quite the opposite. However, no conclusions about the moral behavior, inculturation, religious beliefs, spiritual experience, or religious practice of former students who are now adults can be deduced from this study.

A very different kind of study, involving interviews, surveys, and observation (Rochford, 1999) examined the social and religious identity of students who were educated in ISKCON primary boarding schools in the 1970s and 80s. Most of these students then attended secular public high schools. Some of the students studied either continued in ISKCON schools at the secondary level, or were home schooled for their high school experience. Rochford’s data came from a survey of 87 former ISKCON school students, who had an average age of 18-19. He also conducted open-ended interviews with another 47 former ISKCON school students, 30 of whom were in their late teens or early twenties, and 17 of whom were still in secondary school.

Rochford (1999) found a significant difference between the students who attended an ISKCON or a secular high school in terms of their identification with the Hare Krishna religion, with those who attended ISKCON schools being more likely to self-identify as a devotee of Krishna. In general, students who attended secular high schools felt awkward and embarrassed about their identity with ISKCON, and often tried to assimilate. These attempts resulted in students having their primary social relationships with other students who were not also ISKCON members as a way to hide their identity. Slightly over half ended up engaging in aspects of modern American youth culture, which often included illicit sex, as well as drug and alcohol use. It is notable that only seven of the 87 youths surveyed indicated that they had ever tried meat; only three regularly ate non-vegetarian food. Meat-eating is one of the strongest taboos for devotees of Krishna.

It appears that the primary boarding schools that educated the youth in Rochford’s (1999) study had an exclusive/aggressive attitude towards any but the culture associated with the Krishna faith, according to Anthony’s (2003) definition. With this attitude, the students risk being in a kind of cultural “ghetto” or perhaps finding their religion irrelevant. Students were, thus, ill prepared to retain their own identity while functioning in society. Many of them felt torn between worlds, and took many years to be settled in their identity.

The only other study this researcher could find on adolescents or adults who had attended ISKCON schools was a survey (Manu, 1998) of ISKCON youth an average of nine years after they had left an ISKCON school. Because Manu’s data is probably one of the only two studies ever done on youth who attended Hare Krishna schools, it is included in this study. However, only the raw data are available, without any interpretation or analysis, and the low response rate makes this study susceptible to sample errors. The average age of respondents was approximately 22 years. Out of the 500 surveys mailed, 71 responded, leaving the study open to sampling error. Between 20-76% had experienced some negative, distressing problem during their schooling. Yet about 90% continued to accept Krishna as God, and about 74% self-identified as a devotee of Krishna. Yet 62% were having illicit sex, 38% were taking some kind of intoxication (which would include caffeine and tobacco), about 10% were gambling, and about 5% were eating non-vegetarian food. About 60% engaged in the most important spiritual activity of chanting Krishna’s names.

While Manu’s study (1998) is extremely relevant, being the only research done on adults who attended ISKCON’s schools, there are many unanswered questions. Some of the questions deal with possible problems in the study itself, whether because of sampling errors, or bias because of question wording. In addition, there does not seem to be any controlling in this study for how religious the families of origin are, socio-economic status, country of residence, and so forth. Finally, if Ferrari and Okamoto (2003) are correct in understanding that emotional, religious experience is the basis of morality, then questions relating to these experiences would also have been invaluable.

Research on schools and children in ISKCON is so scarce that it is difficult to draw any conclusions. There are some suggestions that ISKCON schools need to prepare students for living in cultures alien to that of the children’s faith, and that students who attended ISKCON schools in the 70s and 80s tend to accept religious beliefs and practices, but not necessarily moral behavior stressed in the Krishna religion. The schools in ISKCON are radically different now than when these studies were done, and little from the studies can be extrapolated to the present situation.

Research Questions
I wanted to find out what parts of attending a Krishna school had the most impact on former students, in both positive and negative ways. My particular interests centered on spiritual transformation and identity negotiation. In the area of spiritual transformation, I wanted to know whether or not former students would recall either isolated or ongoing personal experiences that gave them a direct perception of the spiritual philosophy they were learning. I also wondered whether or not having such experiences in childhood and youth would translate into an adult lifestyle that would indicate a continued desire for personal spiritual transformation.

In the area of identity, I wanted to know the role of a Krishna school, if any, in forming students’ identities as devotees of Krishna. Students could define this type of identity in several ways, including seeing themselves as part of a universal community of faith regardless of religious nomenclature, as part of Vaisnavas in general, as a Gaudiya Vaisnava, a member of ISKCON, part of ISKCON’s “second generation” or “gurukulis” (this is derived from the a Sanskrit term for school, gurukula, which means “the teacher’s place”) or as an individual striving to be conscious of God without reference to any other group of people with similar beliefs and practices.

The research questions were, therefore: (a) To what extent, and in what ways, did attendance at a Hare Krishna primary or secondary school promote personal spiritual transformation while students were enrolled and in their latter adult life? And (b) To what extent, and in what days, did attendance at a Hare Krishna primary or secondary school foster students’ identities as God conscious individuals and members of a faith community?

This particular research being, hopefully, the first stage in what will be several studies, I decided to make my interview questions to the subjects as broad and open-ended as possible. In doing so, I would leave open the possibility that what I considered most important—spiritual transformation and identity—were not so for those who lived the reality of going to a Krishna school. Perhaps the most significant effects would be very different from my own presuppositions. I therefore, limited the interviews to asking about some of the most important memories of schooling, how going to a devotee school affected adult life, and requesting interviewees to suggest important questions I could ask adults around their age who went to devotee schools. (See Appendix for exact questions)

Participants
Subjects in the interview portion study were adults between the ages of 22 and 36, four females and five males. All had been born to parents who were active members of the Hare Krishna Movement. All had spent some time as students at Krishna schools, at the primary, secondary level, or both. I had known, to a greater or lesser extent, all of the subjects but one previous to this research. Some of the subjects had spent some time in the schools of which I was a principal or teacher. One subject had only attended schools with which I was personally affiliated. This was a purposeful sample. Although the participants tended to have some experiences in common, subjects were chosen because they also represented a reasonably wide range of experiences with Krishna schools in various parts of America and the world. Among these interviewees, three had attended Krishna schools in India, representing two different schools. One had attended a Krishna school in Europe. Other schools attended included four in various parts of the United States. There were very few Krishna schools in existence during these participants’ childhood and youth not represented in this sample. One of the main limitations of this study, however, was that all but one interviewed subject is American; one is European. Future studies should include interviewees from a wider range of countries.

The document review portion of this study, however, did include a wider range of Krishna school experience, extending to every school worldwide that could have served adults now aged 20-36. Former students who write of their schooling experience and current lives in the documents studied come from many of nations, with varied circumstances in their families and upbringing. From these documents I took the writings of seven females and 12 males, all of whom are now between the ages of 20 and 32. Some of the material was written when the subjects were younger. Participants whose words are recorded on websites or in the print publications reviewed had an assortment of Krishna school experiences, and are representative of former students at all ISKCON schools, as far as the experience of this researcher. Pseudonyms are used throughout this paper.

Responses to the interviews and excerpts from the documents are treated the same in this study. Because my questions to interviewees were very open-ended as to their memories of school and its effect on their life, much of what I found in the documents could have been written in response to those same questions. The first time I refer to or quote from each person, I refer to him or her as an “interviewee” or a “writer” depending on whether the information came from the interviews or the documents, respectively. Both groups will also be referred to collectively as “subjects” or “participants.”

Method
I used two research methods, interviewing and document review. Because the interview questions were very open-ended, the time for each interview varied greatly, with some participants spending nearly two hours reminiscing and others struggling to access more than one or two memories of school. The documents reviewed included websites such as gurukuli.com and britcrew.com where Krishna youth post personal “profiles” and exchange information. The website psena.com, mostly geared to youth who are both in the Hare Krishna Movement and from East Indian families, was also reviewed to get current information. In addition, I collected data from print publications aimed at, and produced by, Krishna youth, though most are not current, since the Internet seems to have become the major means for this group to connect with each other. Publications included Spirit: Not this Body, What’s Up Gurukula Newsletter, Children of Krishna, As It Is: Voice of the Second Generation, and Stand and Fight. Because accounts given by each individual in the documents were generally much shorter than the interview responses, I often give a conglomerate view of the subjects’ writing from documents, and quote more extensively from interviewees.

In terms of validity, I have used the triangulation of having both interviews and a document review, as well as doing a member check of the results.

My Perspective
I joined the Hare Krishna Movement in 1973. Initially out of concern for my own children, I got involved with running a pre-school for five years. In 1983 my husband started a school in Detroit, Michigan, which gradually expanded to K-12. After a year, I became one of the academic teachers, and, soon after, the principal. In 1991, we were invited to open a K-12 school in Hillsborough, North Carolina. While being a full-time principal and teacher, I published a complete guidebook to K-12 education in ISKCON, and wrote a bimonthly column for eight years on educational issues for the international ISKCON magazine, Back to Godhead. I became very active in Krishna K-12 education on a national and international level. Working towards the development and success of Krishna schools has gradually become my primary vocation.

At the same time, I am acutely aware of the lack of reliable information about Krishna schools’ effects in non-cognitive domains. For this study, I aimed to step back and understand the world of Krishna school students as much as possible through the view of the former students themselves. Undoubtedly, my own deep immersion in the subject has so saturated my perceptions that anything approaching the objectivity aimed for in quantitative studies is unreasonable. Hopefully a balancing force is my desire to explore and begin to understand Krishna schools from the other side of the teachers’ and principals’ desks.

Results
Subjects’ responses to interview questions, as well as written autobiographical profiles and sketches, yield several areas of common focus. These are: (a) academics; (b) individual and collective identity and relationships, including negotiating identity within the larger society, and dealings with family, friends and teachers; (c) activities beyond daily life, such as festivals, going to holy places, and extracurricular programs such as dramas; (d) learning about and practicing spiritual tradition; (e) vocational guidance; and (f) putting schooling in context. There were also a number of other topics that to which only one or two subjects refer, usually only briefly, and so were not included in this study.

Academics
It may seem, to teachers and parents, that the most important aspects of school relate to academic instruction. However, only a few participants in this study speak about classes, or what they learned or did not learn. If the academic program is mentioned, it is generally as a small part of the overall impression of getting an education in a Krishna school. For example, Gopal, an interviewee, speaks about how his academic program greatly improved when he switched, at middle school, to a school in America from one in India. Indra, another interviewee, briefly mentions that the academic program in a European school was “nice,” especially compared to what he had encountered in India. He emphasizes that academic programs in Krishna schools have greatly improved in the more than 15 years since he had attended them. The interviewee Yasoda considers that an important question for Krishna school students is whether or not they feel academically prepared for higher education and life. After loving the academic program at one American school, she was then transferred to another school in a different part of the States where academic instruction was, “scattered, with little continuity in a not very supportive environment.” Rupa, also an interviewee, notes specific subjects, such as logic and public speaking, which, he says, “helped me immensely…the average kid doesn’t get those things.”

The interviewee Lalita, who spent some years in a home schooling co-op, and years being taught in the home of her parents’ friends, notes more the atmosphere of her academic instruction than the content or rigor. She speaks of teachers who “made learning and Krishna consciousness fun.” Various parents in her Krishna community would come to teach subjects in which they had expertise—whether yoga, art, sewing, or writing. Remarking on the unique nature of his academic instruction, Damodara, an interviewee, muses that he often learns more in college from reading than from the lecture, attributing this preference to being in a Krishna school where students took a lot of personal responsibility for their learning. He says, in general, that he teaches himself, whereas most people he encounters expect to be taught everything step-by-step. In fact, he feels that the rigor of the academic program in his Krishna high school was more demanding than what he is encountering at a top-rate university.

One of the more unusual subjects is the interviewee Vrindavana, whose schooling years were interrupted and often unstructured. After a few years in and out of Krishna schools, he finished his secondary education in public high school. He taught himself to read as a young child, and, when in school, found it in general was not suited to his learning style. He would either understand things immediately or else ignored the instruction. So, he would learn in his own way, and spend class time “spacing out.” Vrindavana describes the pedagogy he encountered in Krishna schools as “mechanical.”

“Lack of good academic programs are no longer an issue,” opines Indra. He thus indirectly refers to the early days of establishing Krishna schools when leaders and teachers struggled to decide whether and how to have their own unique Krishna centered curriculum, often at the cost of meeting the standards.

Individual and Collective Identity and Relationships
In contrast to academics, which most subjects either ignore or deal with only slightly, all those interviewed, and most accounts in documents, dwell on how an education in a Krishna school affects their identity. For some subjects, one of the main impacts of their schooling was how they developed their sense of self. In some cases, subjects speak or write of their personal identity, how they view themselves as an individual. A common theme is of identity in contrast to those not in the Krishna community—the non-devotees, or society at large. Sometimes this group identity is expressed as a sense of belonging to a faith community, rather than of any sort of exclusion from greater society. Some subjects identify more with their own group of gurukulis than with Krishna devotees in general, whereas others do not differentiate in this way at all, and some emphatically state that they identified with the community of devotees, but not necessarily with other gurukulis.

Personal identity
In terms of personal identity, the writer Radha tells about how lucky she feels to have received Krishna in her life “right from the beginning.” Having had positive schooling experiences, her emphasis is on how easy and full of joy spiritual life is for her. Rama, a writer, is determined to “put this [spiritual] knowledge into practice” in his life, and can not see any materialistic goals for himself. Perhaps Citra, an interviewee, puts the matter of personal identity most clearly and dramatically. She went to public schools until high school. At that point she spent some time in a girls’ Krishna boarding school, and then attended another Krishna day school, first by staying with a family who lived close to the school. Gradually the rest of her family followed her. The main point of attending Krishna schools, she says, is how it affects their identity. [I] identify as spirit soul and as a devotee of Krishna. Then, even if the world blows up or all the sannyasis [a type of priest who takes lifelong vows of celibacy and asceticism] fall down [i.e. break their vows], we’ll continue….The nature of the world is to fall apart. Externals are always going to change. If we identity as a servant of Prabhupada [ISKCON’s founder], then we’re always there in our identity. Lalita explains how Krishna schooling gave her, and most of her gurukuli friends, a determination to be a devotee, not because of indoctrination, but because of feeling surrounded with love. She feels that this love is what Krishna consciousness is about and what she wanted.

Negotiating identity with the larger society
A person’s culture can be defined as “everything you believe and everything you do that enables you to identify with people who are like you and that distinguishes you from people who are different from you” (Lindsey, Robbins, & Terrell, 1999, p. 27). Former Krishna school students describe their sense of cultural identity in both ways—how they belong to the group of devotees of Krishna and their often carefully negotiated relationship with the non-devotee world. Rochford’s study (1999) dealt extensively with these issues. The adolescents and young adults in his study had almost all attended Krishna boarding schools, many in India, in which they were rather isolated from modern, Western society. Most of the subjects of his study discussed the tremendous shock and adjustment of having to closely relate, often quite suddenly, to a culture they did not understand and somewhat feared. Many of his subjects had their first in-depth interaction with the outside culture in high school—a place where social misfits do not fare well.

I had thought that the problem of being able to interact both with the community of Krishna devotees and the outside world was no longer very relevant for students in Krishna schools. Day schools have gradually, since 1982, replaced most boarding schools. Many, if not most, families have one or both parents working in regular jobs. In sum, the semi-cloistered nature of most Krishna communities has all but disappeared. Therefore, those subjects in my study who are less than 30 years old may be dissimilar to those Rochford (1999) surveyed and interviewed in terms of how they negotiate their cultural identity.

Yet, all interviewees in my study speak about how belonging to a Krishna community meant a period of sometimes difficult adjustment to those outside it. At the same time, appreciation for being sheltered was strongly expressed. This same theme is common in the documents, as well. For example, Rupa says his schooling was a wonderful experience—no pressure like high school proms and dating and all that. I see now that I was very sheltered and am grateful. It was hard to transition to the normal world. I did it rather abruptly but lots of people struggle with that.

Damodara similarly describes this specific benefit from attending Krishna schools. Going to other schools, in his opinion, would have induced him to drink and take drugs at a young age. He’s grateful to have been saved from what he sees in America, “So many people, at 19 or 20, are like having been divorced six times [because they are] so hurt by the opposite sex.” Citra finds that her education acts like a “filter” that allows her to take the good from working in the world. Speaking not only from his own life but also from his friendships with large numbers of gurukulis, Indra has concluded that even those who experiment, in curiosity, with aspects of life discouraged or forbidden to Krishna devotees, generally come gradually to understand through that experience the truth of what they were taught as children. Having gone from Krishna school to public education at age nine, Yasoda tells of having been in a very inclusive Krishna community and then feeling very out of place in public school, not being sure what would be appropriate to both cultures. She wonders if there are “ways to avoid the big culture shock,” and hopes that we can educate our children to both “maintain their devotee identity and the knowledge of other cultures.” Yes, it was a challenge for most of them, as Gopal explains, to go out into the world and interact with non-devotees, “more than a challenge than it might have been. At the same time there were positive things since I wasn’t into hanging out with non-devotees and didn’t get too many bad habits.”

A focus on being part of a community, without making any reference to outside society, is often expressed. Vrindavana, who has also taught in Krishna schools, says that the “main thing” in students forming positive identities is having a huge cooperative effort between school, parents, teachers and community. Kalindi, an interviewee, explains that the majority of her most important memories of being a student in Krishna schools involved adults who were not official teachers but who got involved with the school or the students. Most of the involvement of these adults was with extra-curricular activities. The point remains that, in addition to the significance of the activities themselves, students in Krishna schools form an important link to identification with their communities when they have positive experiences of community members’ participation in their upbringing.

Indra best expresses the importance of community involvement. He extensively describes how various Krishna devotees who lived near the school he attended in Europe would work with the children in hobbies such as photography and bee-keeping, arrange for students to play in their barn, and involve the children in huge festivals. There was even one “daredevil” who thrilled the boys with wild rides in a van at full speed through agricultural fields. While Kalindi and Indra repeatedly stress the love and connection they felt from community involvement in their school, Citra longed for even more. She expresses discouragement with the fact that she longs to be more involved with community, yet feels neglected. Feeling “so discouraged with community,” she wonders why students who received extensive training in teaching and preaching were then, as graduates, never asked to deliver classes on philosophy. Emphasizing that there should be more manifestation of the mood of service that is taught as so important, Citra feels alienated and isolated from the Krishna community, and finds herself more identifying with gurukulis than with Krishna devotees in general. Rather than perceiving that Krishna members were very involved with students, and that students could really integrate into their faith community, she feels that many members live very separate lives without active service to one another. She has many suggestions for how regular service to the local faith community could be integrated into a curriculum. Yasoda, who is presently doing an in-depth study of the formation of cultural identity for Krishna youths, explains that an important topic in understanding the effect of Krishna schooling is how former students describe support from peers, family, and community in terms of managing their own culture.

Family and friends
Gopinatha, a writer, attended Krishna schools in Europe and India through the primary level; high school was at a European government school. Echoing some of the above themes about having to “fit into the high school way of doing things” and coming to a personal identity as a Krishna devotee in part through direct experience of the world, he points out that most of his friends continue to be those who also attended Krishna school. One of Yasoda’s more important memories of schooling was how the students related to each other. Where the children got along and were warm and caring, her memories of school are generally positive. In another Krishna school, however, the children were always bickering among themselves which made the entire experience unpalatable.

Some former students, such as Damodara, feel that their family was so much a part of their growing up in Krishna consciousness that it is difficult to separate out the effects of family from that of school. Others, such as Indra who attended an Indian boarding school at an early age, matter-of-factly speak about scanning festival crowds hoping to find his mother, or on some ordinary days sitting on a window ledge thinking that someone in the crowds below must be her, although she lived in another country and was not visiting. Receiving a package from home was a significant event for the boys.

Teachers
“We used to do school in our teachers’ living room…just loving him and his wife…they had enthusiasm for making learning and Krishna consciousness fun,” says Lalita. Some subjects, such as Bhima, a writer, had the opposite experience, of having teachers who were “just not very mature in their Krishna consciousness.” What he sees as the positive effect of having these teachers is, “I don’t accept authority blindly. No title impresses me anymore in the least, but only personal example.” Yasoda also had negative experiences with teachers who were “not very involved” and “failed to teach students social skills.” Similarly, Vrindavana had teachers who were “awful; [I was] told I was stupid.”

Govinda, like Lalita, had teachers who “used to look after me as her own daughter.” Govinda also had another teacher who “helped me more than words can say.” Kalindi has fond memories of the teachers who taught physical education and drama. There was one teacher the students would ask to push the swings harder and harder until they were laughing crazily and screaming. The participation of these community members in the school showed her how happy the adults in the Krishna community were and that there was much involvement in the school in addition to the academic teachers and parents. Citra is convinced that teachers will be sweeter if they are careful only to accept students who deeply desire being in a Krishna school.

Beyond Daily Life
Festivals
Both Indra and Kalindi, although attending Krishna schools in different parts of the world and having a difference of about a decade in their ages, both stress the role of festivals in their Krishna school experience. Indra speaks of how even in an Indian school, the food was really good at the many festivals. In Europe, festivals were at the center of the community of which the school was a part. At least two or three times a year, Krishna devotees would visit from many communities. Thousands of people would be dancing, singing mantras [a type of worship called kirtana] while playing “three feet in diameter” hand cymbals and two-headed drums carried by a strap around the neck [mirdanga]. The kirtanas seem to Indra, in retrospect, to have been like huge rock concerts—without any form of intoxication or illicit sex. Sometimes during festivals there would be a contest of throwing and catching traditional Indian sweets called gulubjamons (a spongy, pancake- texture ball dripping with syrup).

Kalindi recalls festivals as a time for art, the “perfect in every detail” clay figures they would make for dioramas in primary school on festival days, in the shoe boxes filled with cotton ball clouds; and, in secondary school, the sophisticated drawings of saints. The dramas they rehearsed for weeks or months and then performed for the festival crowds was a very significant part of her Krishna school experience.

Outreach
The Hare Krishna Movement, based on the teachings of Caitanya Mahaprabhu (Braswell, 1986; Hopkins, 1989, pp. 42-54; Shinn, 1987, pp. 85-86), encourages its members to share Krishna consciousness with others. Students in Krishna schools were sometimes involved in these outreach activities. The positive mood of sharing spiritual life continues to have a large influence in the adult lives of a few of the former students in this study. Citra enjoys explaining principles of divine creation to new Krishna members. And Radha, for example, writes about helping her father in “fund and friend raising,” expressing a love for public chanting and selling of sacred literatures. The writer Bhisma describes how he assisted with introducing Krishna consciousness on a Malaysian island where most of the residents are Chinese and Muslims. The students at one school, as Indra explains, would assist with a once-a-year intense effort to distribute scripture and sacred audio recordings. The students would help pack books and make sweets, sometimes staying at one member’s vacation home for a few weeks. Once a week during the year, the whole community of Krishna devotees, children included, would drive two hours each way to chant and sing in public. In fact, Indra finds it common among his gurukuli friends for them to view the world through what he called a “missionary framework, seeing everything around you in that perspective—how to engage everyone and everything in Krishna’s service.”

Holy places
As mentioned, some former students in this study went to Krishna schools in India. The only Krishna schools available in India when this group of adults was school aged were boys’ boarding schools. In particular, the school in Vrindavana, Uttar Pradesh, had a large number of students whose families were not of Indian origin. At that school, all the students trekked to the nearby Yamuna River once or twice a week. On the way, they would sing mantras through Vrindavana town, one of the holiest pilgrimage places in India. Upon arriving at the sacred Yamuna, they would play in the water and on the sand. Every student in this study who attended the Vrindavana school speaks or writes with great fondness about these trips to the Yamuna as one of their most important memories of being in a Krishna school. Gopal, for example, whose overall experience in Vrindavana was negative, said, “One thing I definitely liked with the situation was being with the other kids there, going to the Yamuna River, holy places.”

Extracurricular activities
One of the more interesting results of this study, for me, is the emphasis that so many subjects put on extracurricular activities both in terms of important school memories and effect on their present adult life. Festivals, outreach activities, and training in hobbies and vocational skills are all part of this category. Subjects describe at length and with obvious enthusiasm time at playgrounds or natural surroundings, arts and craft projects, or rehearsing and performing dramas. For subjects such as Kalindi and Indra, for example, these types of activities were the bulk of their positive memories and a lot of the basis for their current identification with the community of devotees.

Learning about and practicing spiritual tradition
Philosophy Classes
“I learned a lot about religion and philosophy—see everything has a purpose,” Damodara related as a major effect of going to a Krishna school. Classes in sacred literature and philosophy are an ubiquitous feature of Krishna schools. Many schools also require their students to attend daily scriptural sermons at the local Krishna temple. Yet, only a few of the subjects refer to these classes either when discussing their most important memories or how their adult lives have been affected. Of all the subjects, Citra is one of the most enthusiastic about philosophy classes, especially the in-depth bhakti shastri course she had in secondary school. In a similar way to which Indra spoke about understanding all of life through the perspective of a spirit of outreach, Citra explains that this course enables her to “see through the eyes of scripture.” She wishes that there were “more continuing education and bhakti shastri,” though she wonders if she is disciplined enough now in her life to take up such a course. Some, such as Kalindi, really enjoyed it when renounced traveling preachers, sannyasis, visited the school to discuss their adventures. The sannyasis’s fun and magic tricks with the students seem to have made as much of an impression than their philosophical discussions during her primary school years, however. Kalindi did also say that during her teenaged years the philosophy became concrete and you decide that’s how you want to live. Kids want to have fun. I don’t remember philosophy as a kid—just going to the temple. Philosophy didn’t make that much impression. But as a teenager, bhakti shastri classes were highly valuable, especially kids asking questions…we teenaged girls would talk about it all the time.

Some subjects, such as Rama, Govinda, and Gopinath, all writers, enthusiastically describe in a general way how knowing the philosophy of Krishna consciousness is important in their adult life and is a product of their Krishna school education. Even more indirect and non-specific references to having received beneficial spiritual knowledge are part of the writings or interviews of many subjects. On the other hand, Vrindavana, who attended Krishna schools only at the primary level, said, I guess maybe there was a philosophical aspect but I don’t remember teachers ever getting into philosophy with us; they should have. It would have been nice…because emphasis should have been not ABCs but philosophical…. I would have really liked a lot more as a kid—practical matter. What is life for, why are you here, of course being related to the age of the kids…I really wanted to know and really liked whenever anyone talked about it.

Scripture memorization
Verses from scripture, especially Bhagavad-gita, continue to play in the minds of many former Krishna school students. Gopal feels that gita verses were some of the few things he had learned in an otherwise academically poor school in India, for example. Damodara often remembers those verses both because they were recited so often and because they were “learned in a neat way.” Gita verses are one of the few specific things Lalita remembers about her primary school. She said that even a few of her friends who had mostly negative experiences in Krishna schools find those verses going through their minds at the oddest times.

Religious practices
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, representing the ancient teachings of Vaisnavism, founded the Hare Krishna Movement worldwide and encouraged his followers to institute the gurukula system of education for their children. Prabhupada stressed that all Krishna school students should have regular religious practices as part of their education. The practice he most emphasized was the early morning community worship. “From the gurukula we are training small children. There are about more than hundred children in [the] Dallas [school]. They are rising early in the morning, attending mangala aratik” (Arrival Lecture, Calcutta, March 20, 1975).

In most Krishna schools, especially those that were boarding schools, students attend (a) early morning worship of group singing of mantras with dancing and instruments, called mangala aratik kirtana; (b) a philosophy class; and (c) individual chanting of mantras on prayer beads, japa. A number of subjects relate their memories of these practices. Yet, considering the pervasive nature of these practices in Krishna schools, it is of interest that fewer than half the subjects mentioned them. Perhaps Indra’s recollecting his mornings in an Indian boarding school are the most interesting in this connection. Before anyone else got up, he would shower and go to Prabhupada’s former rooms to chant japa by himself. It was, for him, a very deep and personal spiritual experience. In contrast, one of the things Dhruva, a writer, did not like about attending a different Indian boarding school was rising at 4:00 am for mangala aratik. Lalita explains, Getting up and going to mangala aratik—for me it was a positive experience. But for some it was torture, and when I tell them I get my kids up at 5:30 people groan. But my kids love to get up and they sometimes get up early on their own and call someone and ask them to take them to the temple. Positive experience is key.

Personal relationship with Krishna
“When someone knows about Krishna at such a tender age, one won’t be able to forget him,” is the succinct way Vishaka, a writer, put it. She describes how she often turns to prayer, especially in moments of difficulty. Another writer, Candra, tells of the importance of finding Krishna on her own and keeping her faith. Indra describes that as a young child in boarding school he was often, “turning inward to Krishna at some level as a child; turning to Him as a friend.” As an adult, Rupa finds himself “looking for a deeper value…[I] analyze a situation and try to see how it’s going to affect me spiritually….[I’m] very turned off by anything dogmatic, any fake religion…I feel very much like spirituality is a part of me, devotion.”

The goal of education in Krishna consciousness is personal spiritual transformation (McDaniel, 1992). Damodara describes this effect on an intellectual level when he talks about carefully evaluating his actions in the light of spiritual and moral principles. Kalindi speaks of the affective changes when she says, “13 years later I haven’t changed my paradigm—more compassion and empathy, a deeper ‘taste’ of chanting and more blissful.” Perhaps the best explanation of how Krishna school students understand their personal relationship with Krishna is in the description of Balarama, a writer, Pure ecstatic love for Krishna! There is nothing in the world like what you feel in that situation. When you take an ecstasy pill the feelings may be similar, but we have all heard of the side effects and besides, being just an illusory that lasts only for a couple of hours, it can’t compare to the effects of a kirtana which stays with you for days. There is no come-down because it puts you on a permanently higher level.

Stories
In all Krishna schools, student regularly hear scriptural stories about Krishna and his incarnations, or about great saints. A few subjects describe the effect of these stories in their lives. “We fell asleep listening to Mahabharata,” Rupa explained. “We hear that stuff and we think about Arjuna and his adventures. What’s so attractive—they had their whole life, not just little [chanting of] Hare Krishna. You want a whole education and whole cultural side, as well.”

Vocational guidance
A gurukula education is supposed to provide the students with “specific training for a livelihood” (Srimad Bhagavatam, 2.7.6 commentary). However, since not all of the subjects attended Krishna schools at the secondary level, it is reasonable that this topic was not discussed much. Rupa speaks at length about how one’s vocation and even hobbies should be able to integrate the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of a person, but seemed to feel that this training was not part of his Krishna school experience. Yasoda, who started public school at a young age, credits her Krishna school years with affecting her adult decisions about work. Gopal explains, “One thing that was important for my vocation was learning computer programming at 11 years old in the school.” Bhima feels lucky that he got both personal and vocational guidance, mostly from his spiritual master, as he was transitioning from school to occupation. Speaking extensively about the opportunities and encouragement given to students to learn and develop both hobbies and beginning vocational training, Indra describes how one European school structured the afternoons. Students could do what they enjoyed, which would include photography, beekeeping, growing an herb garden, or helping and learning from a variety of adults in the community. Most subjects, however, did not mention this topic.

Whole Picture
It is “hard to differentiate between going to a devotee school and growing up a devotee,” as Damodara clearly put it. And, for a school to have a positive effect there needs to be harmony between the school, family, and community. Perhaps Vrindavana said this best, Main thing—there needs to be huge cooperative effort between school, parents, teachers, and community…emphasis needs to be the same. If you have fun at school and they talk about Krishna conscious stuff, but at home the biggest thing is…”life sucks,” then they [students] will be very confused…emphasis is going to be on mommy and daddy, and school at that point becomes almost irrelevant….As important as it is, school cannot be more than one of the sticks [that, like in the fable, cannot be broken when in a bundle]. Even the tape [that holds the sticks together] isn’t all encompassing. The main leader is the glue, not the all-in-all Where Vrindavana emphasizes both the role of parents and a community’s spiritual leader to enable a school’s success, Lalita speaks in a similar way about parents. If there is a bad family situation, she says, students will either “bond with the teacher or boycott everything the parents want them to do, and rebel against the teachers.”

So, when children growing up in the Hare Krishna Movement who also attend its schools think about their childhood, their answers can rarely separate school experiences completely. “[You are] trying to isolate a specific cause but for anything there are so many things that lead together to affect them,” Gopal says.

Conclusion
In broad terms, subjects describe their Krishna school experience, both as it occurred and as it impacts them as adults, in terms of academics, individual and collective identity, special events and programs, learning about and practicing their spiritual tradition, and preparation for livelihood. Whether asked in an interview about important memories of schooling, or when having space in a printed or electronic publication to write as they wish, these former Krishna school students are overwhelmingly positive about their experiences, with a few, sometimes strong, exceptions. Even those who had some trauma or suffered abuse in a school tend to focus on the fun at festivals, the personal relationship they developed with Krishna, and how they have benefited as adults. There were some passages in the documents that were entirely negative, and certainly if different subjects were chosen for interviews there may also have been more who see little or nothing of value in their Krishna school education.

Many subjects give suggestions for how to improve Krishna schools, from increased positive community involvement, to screening students, to choosing caring teachers. It would be wise for educational leaders in religiously affiliated schools, Krishna schools among them, to keep contact with former students and regularly ask them for feedback and advice. Although during the time students are in school it may appear that parents are the prime “customers” of a school, it is ultimately the students towards whose satisfaction a school should be aiming.
The two main themes I originally looked for from the conceptual framework, identity and spiritual transformation, were indeed reflected in the subjects of this study. But, while the contribution of attending a Krishna school to adult personal and community identity was mentioned by almost all subjects, only some directly referred to personal spiritual transformation. It does seem that all the aspects of faith education that tend to lead to personal and community identity as proposed in the framework are operative in the subjects of this study.

In terms of spiritual transformation, however, there were some subjects who discussed their bent toward considering moral and spiritual factors in both minor and major life decisions, and, in a very few cases, subjects tied this inclination to affective spiritual experiences that were part of their education. However, this area of study remains largely unexplored. It would be useful to have the topic of spiritual transformation, including its causes and effects, the basis of future research of Krishna school students.

Reflections
I entered into this research making a conscious effort to put aside the assumptions that fueled my more than two decades as an educator and administrator in Krishna schools. Although the extremely open-ended nature of the questions I asked former students left some without a guide in the vast woods of possibilities, all eventually went beyond trying to find out what I wanted, to an exploration of their own schooling experience and its effects.

The findings confirmed a few things for me, such as the permanency of scripture verse memorization in the thoughts of students. This limited study also strongly confirmed that a spiritual sense of self, both on a personal level and as a member of a faith community, is one of the clearest effects of attending a Krishna school, even if for only a few years at the primary level.

Many of the findings, however, were unexpected. For example, those who spoke of the importance of loving relationships surprised me in that having such relationships with classmates and general Krishna community members was equally if not more important to most subjects than their relationship with teachers. I had obviously inflated the role of a teacher in students’ lives. Perhaps most unanticipated for me is the importance in adult life of school-related experiences that appear peripheral to school. Being in a drama, traveling with teachers and classmates to help with a community project, going regularly with the school to sacred places, and in general having fun, seemed to be of much more importance to these subjects than the content or pedagogy used in science classes.

It is rare that students, the greatest stakeholders in education, are seriously consulted about how they view their education and what has been helpful, hurtful, or neutral in their lives. They are, ironically, one of the most marginalized groups in educational politics and policy making (Marshall & Gerstl-Pepin, 2005). Educational leaders might put more of a research focus on having adults reflect on their education and how they perceive the ramifications of schooling on their adult lives.

References
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Bhurijana, D. (1995). The art of teaching: A guide for training our children in Krishna Consciousness. Vrindavana, India: Vaisnava Institute for Higher Education.
Braswell, Jr., G.W. (1986). Hinduism in America. In Understanding Sectarian Groups in America (pp. 268-283). Nasville, TN: Broadman Press.
Cox, H., Shinn, L.D., Hopkins, T.J., Basham, A.L., & Shrivatsa Goswami. (1983). In S. J. Gelberg (Ed.), Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna: Five Distinguished Scholars on the Krishna Movement in the West. New York: Grove Press.
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Appendix

Semi structured interview questions

How many years did you go to devotee schools and at what age?

In what country were those schools?

Tell me about some of your most important memories of your schooling.

How has going to a devotee school affected your life?

I’m trying to discover how going to a Hare Krishna school affects a person’s life as an adult, especially in terms of spiritual attitudes and behavior. What are some important questions I can ask young adults who went to devotee schools?

Thank you very much for helping!

Lay Summary
Spring 2005

Please accept my obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

You are invited to participate in research about the experiences of young adults who spent at least two years in schools of the Hare Krishna Movement.

To give devotee youth the best possible educational experiences, it would be very helpful to know what aspects of our schools were helpful in adult life, what were useless, and which had negative results. I have been a principal and teacher in ISKCON schools for over twenty years. No one really knows, though, what kind of results going to these schools have on an adult’s life. It is difficult to decide how to improve schools without information from the most important people, former students who’ve had the time to know the impact on adult life.

An open interview, where you can discuss how your experience in a devotee school affected your life, will help me design a confidential survey for large numbers of devotee youth with a variety of schooling experiences. One interview of about a half hour to an hour will be enough, though I might briefly contact you later for clarification of a point. You might also want to give me any articles or other written material that would be helpful. I can interview you over the phone, or, in some cases, in person. Interviews will be recorded, unless you prefer that I only take notes. Participation is entirely your choice, and you can withdraw from the research at any time, or chose not to answer whatever question to which you would rather not respond.

All interviews are confidential. I am the only one who will know who gave me what information. I have gotten your name and contact information from other devotee youth, or from one of the gurukuli web sites, but I am the only one who knows you are participating in this study. Tapes and notes will be secure.

Thank you very much!

Your servant,

Urmila devi dasi

Source: http://urmiladasi.com/effect-of-krishna-schools-views-of-former-students/

20 Tips for Married Couples.
We came across a wonderful list of guidelines for married couples, families and anyone trying to build a strong Krsna conscious lifestyle. This list was written by Bhakti Rasamrita Swami, a senior sannyasi (monk) in our Hare Krishna movement.

The post Varnasrama series: How will it be possible? appeared first on SivaramaSwami.com.

A Most Sacred Place (Album with photos)
Indradyumna Swami: Our second and final parikrama around Govardhan Hill this Kartika yielded some wonderful photos showing the beauty and sanctity of one of Vrindavan’s most sacred places.
Find them here: https://goo.gl/PY8oyF

The post Daily Darshan : November 28th, 2015 appeared first on Mayapur.com.

Radhanath Swami gave the keynote address at EY, Tower Bridge, London on the 24th November, 2015.

With the bright lights from the London skyline seeping into the ninth floor room at EY, one of the “big four” international professional services firms, Radhanath Swami gave spoke at their Diwali cultural showcase, “Life Beyond Borders”. As is tradition, he began with the chanting of ancient mantras, which created a mood of serenity. Regardless of background, when the Swami folds his hands, and bursts the pin-drop silence with his elongated “Aum,” you sense that something special is about to happen. Yeohan Kim, an actor with MTV, thought the same: “I heard about the Swami and his incredible story through Russell Brand and he didn’t disappoint. His words were refreshing and were like nuggets of wisdom.”

Martin Pollard, a postgraduate journalism student, said “The moment he stepped onto the stage, his energy was infectious. He changes the room just by his presence and I was inspired how conscientiously he answered my questions.” Martin added “I get quite nervous seeing men of the cloth and I’m definitely in the non-religious camp, but the principles he spoke of, I could relate to. He was just a really compassionate, wise man to be honest!”

Although this event was commemorating Diwali, a traditionally Hindu celebration, over half of the audience were agnostic, reflecting the rising popularity of do-it-yourself spirituality, yoga and meditation in the West.

“What I enjoyed about his talk were the personal anecdotes he gave. They were filled with universal truth that I could relate too,” said Sophie, who works with UNESCO. Radhanath Swami focused on the truths of inner-transformation: “Diwali takes place on the new moon — the darkest, most inauspicious night of the year — but Diwali is the time of the brightest lights. That is transformation. Diwali is a time when we really focus on bringing light into our own hearts.” He continued by shedding light on the ancient classic, the Ramayana, stressing how all citizens from that era were described to have lived with compassion. Why? Because their leaders lived with compassion.

Sandhiya Indurjith, a Tech Consultant from Accenture, expressed a liking to similar principles in an interview after the event. “I loved his point on earning with integrity, spend with compassion” she said. “He brought my awareness, my consciousness to another level.” When asked what she would like to hear him speak on in the future, she passionately interjected, “His life stories! When he was talking about his adventures and the lessons he had learned, that really resonated with me. What an exciting life.”

“He has a serious message to share with the world, about leadership and values, but he’s so humble, endearing and entertaining that his ideals become easier to fathom and implement.” said Bijal Majithia, the organiser of the event hosted by the EY Hindu Network, Veda London and the Assistant Director for Global Diversity & Inclusiveness at EY. “He has a way of connecting with everyone!” she exclaimed.

Radhanath Swami was delighted with the event. He personally congratulated the Veda London team for their commitment to presenting ancient wisdom from the Vedas to a contemporary city audience.

Books are still the basis on Padayatra India.
Our padayatra party travels to every nook and corner of India, to the most remote and inaccessible places in order to spread the mercy of Srila Prabhupada. In this way we the devotees of padayatra distribute the books of Srila Prabhupada so that somehow or other people can get the real message of God and find a permanent solution to the problems of life.
Read the entire article here: http://goo.gl/tsL8D7

Tribhuvanatha Prabhu Appearance Day (27/11/15) (Album with photos)
Celebrating the birthday of the founder of the festival team :)
Find them here: https://goo.gl/dKqTqj

By Mahatma Das

What follows are the main principles I teach in my marriage workshop entitled Sacred Union, The laws of relationship. Following these principles can help a bad marriage become good, a good marriage become better, and turn around a marriage that seems doomed to fail.

I, and many others, have found these principles extremely valuable in creating a good marriage. Please put these principles into practice in your marriage and share them with as many people as possible. These principles are common sense, yet both profound and extremely effective, and they can be successfully used by anyone.

Is a healthy marriage really important?
After you read all the principles on creating a healthy marriage, you might be thinking, “It’s a lot of work to create a good marriage. I don’t know if I can do all of this. And anyway, is it really worth all the trouble? Is a good marriage really that important? Aren’t we supposed to be more detached? And if the relationship isn’t good, isn’t it just my karma and thus Krishna’s mercy to help me become more detached?”

This begs the question, “What does it mean to have a good marriage in Krishna consciousness?” I have never seen Prabhupada instruct his disciples to have a bad marriage because that would make a marriage “good,” meaning the couple will be so disturbed that they realize that they can’t be happy in the material world.

If you advance in Krishna consciousness, you will naturally realize that real love is with Krishna and that there is no happiness anywhere in the material world.

Our scriptures state that the goal of family life is to eventually become detached from family life. But how do you become detached? One of the best ways of becoming detached, although this seems contradictory, is to have a fulfilling marriage.

The point is this:

Marriage is meant to fulfill material desires in a way that one can eventually give them up.

If those desires never get fulfilled, then one may find him or herself hankering to fulfill those desires later in life at a time when they would be winding down had they been married.

A good marriage also means staying together and creating a happy and peaceful home for your children. As Prabhupada said, “Get yourself married and live peacefully together.”

The goal of marriage, however, is not to be happy. The goal is to be happily married. There is a difference. Don’t look to your spouse to make you happy. Look to make your spouse happy. If you do this, you will be happily married.

When you are happily married you create a peaceful platform, an asrama, from which you cultivate your Krishna consciousness well. It is by cultivation of Krishna consciousness that you become happy.

No one has ever become happy trying to satisfy their desires. At the same time, if basic relational needs are not met, one will not be peaceful. Being peaceful is necessary so that we can cultivate our Krishna consciousness.

Sense gratification is not the goal of household life. The goal is to execute Krishna consciousness. If you believe it is your spouse’s responsibility to make you happy, and you expect this from him or her, you will likely be let down and frustrated. Rather, think it is your service to make your spouse happy, to serve them, and to be a good example of Krishna consciousness. This will make you happy.

We know that ultimately the only thing that will make us happy is Krishna consciousness. So if we utilize the grhastha asrama to increase our Krishna consciousness, helping one another in our service to guru and Krishna, we will be happy because we will be advancing in Krishna consciousness.

Laws of relationship
Creating a good relationship is not a mystery. There are laws that create connection. If you are married, or want to be married, as a service to your spouse you need to learn these laws.

There are many books and websites on marriage, in and outside of Krishna consciousness, that can help you better understand how to make a marriage work.

The main point is:

Your spouse can be likened to a machine, and you need to learn the skills required operate this machine well. If you don’t, the machine will not operate properly, or even break down.

When your spouse complains too much, it is likely an indication that you are not operating the machine well. So how do you learn how to better operate the machine? One of the best ways to do this is to ask your spouse how the machine functions best.

And then listen to what he or she says and try to do implement the advice as best you can.

You should enter grhastha asrama with the goal of making the asrama successful by becoming the servant of your husband or your wife, not enter it to become the controller or enjoyer of your spouse. View success in this asrama as success in your Krishna consciousness.

“Succeeding” your marriage is part of what it means to succeed in Krishna consciousness.

The right paradigm
Can you make a 6 out of the symbol “IX” using only one line?

You either are going to figure out how to do this right away, or you are not going to get it. It depends on how you are looking at this, on your paradigm.

Sometimes people fail in their marriage not because of any lack of effort, analysis, or care. Sometimes people fail because they’re locked in the wrong paradigm.

If you’re not seeing your marriage or your spouse in the proper light, then you won’t succeed. And no amount of effort will change that. The only thing that will get you different results is a different perspective. Once you adopt the right perspective, having a good marriage can be as easy as placing an “S” in front of “IX” to make “SIX.”

The point is this:

Unhealthy paradigms that we bring to our marriage become the negative operating programs undermining our marriage, and thus can become the cause of a failed marriage. Similarly, healthy paradigms form the basis of a successful marriage.

Do you have any unhealthy paradigms that are undermining your marriage?

In Iskcon, unfortunately, negative paradigms about women, children and marriage are common. We hear that marriage is a falldown, women are an entanglement, and it is a dark well. Such considerations, when not balanced with the positive sides of grhastha life, can be toxic to a good marriage.

Negative paradigms can be toxic by creating attitudes that make it difficult – or impossible – to have a good marriage.

Another factor that can negatively impact a marriage is holding our spouses to stereotyped roles that are difficult or impossible to fulfill, or assuming roles ourselves that are inappropriate (based on our misunderstanding of sastra).

One such example of this is the teaching that a husband is the guru to the wife. To explain how this teaching is misunderstood, and thus can be harmful to a good relationship, I have written an article titled “Husband as Guru” which it is available on my website and on dandavats.com

It is your duty to love
Our consumer values of, “We want what we want, when we want it,” and then quickly getting it, are entering into our marriages. Today we are less accustomed to working (and waiting) for things than we were in the past. Spouses are becoming a bit like old cars: if the spouse isn’t working well, we trade him or her in for a new model.

Dharma means we do something because it is right, not that we only do something because we like doing it. The point is:

Our duty is to love our spouses, whether or not we love them.

Maharaja Priyavrata was a wonderful kind, loving and caring husband. Yet sastra says he was not at all attached to his wife. This appears contradictory. How can one be so loving yet so detached?

He took loving his wife and family as his duty. Therefore he was the best husband and father. Although we might find this kind of “love” artificial, the so-called love in the material world is more artificial because it is based more on emotions than duty. And if the emotions wane, the relationship also wanes.

When a spouse says, “I don’t have the same feelings for you I had when we were younger,” this translates into, “I don’t love you anymore.” The underpinning is this: “Since I don’t love you anymore, I feel the need to find someone else to love.”

If you want to base your relationship primarily on the feelings of “love” rather than duty, the chances of your marriage lasting, or being a fulfilling relationship – even if you stay together – are rare. But if we take it as our dharma to “love,” the “love” will last.

Dharma is higher than feeling.

Did I marry the right person?
You might sometimes question whether you married the right person. This is the wrong question to ask. As mentioned above, the key to a successful marriage is showing affection, kindness, and sensitivity to the person you found.

The point is:

It is not whether you married the right person, but whether you are “loving” the person you married.

Anyone can fall in love. It takes absolutely no work. And the relationship automatically stays good in this romantic stage. Why? It is because when “in love” you secrete hormones that intoxicate you. This intoxication makes you blind to the faults of your partner. Many of the wonderful things they did when you first “fell in love” become the very things that disturb you later on. You just didn’t pay attention to these things when you first met. You were so in love that those things seemed cute.

How is it that “good” relationships often later become bad. It is because after the romance stage the couple needs to learn relationship skills, skills they didn’t need to have during the romantic stage when everything they did was wonderful and seemingly perfect. If they don’t learn them, then they may never learn how to adjust to their differences and the things they don’t like in one another. In other words, after the romantic stage is over, how we choose to act will determine the success of our marriage.

For devotees this is a serious consideration. We are meant to be examples to the public. But we are failing in general to set an ideal example of grhastha life. Our divorce rates are no different than those outside of Iskcon. Some devotees say they are even higher. If our philosophy is supposed to be perfect and solve all problems, our marriages should demonstrate this.

Why is this? More about this in the next principle.

Problems are caused by a lack of connection, not a lack of communication.
Contrary to popular belief, effective communication is an effect of a good relationship, not the cause of a good relationship. If you want to improve the communication, first work on improving the relationship. Then the communication will automatically improve. Good communication is the result of a good connection. Every couple that has a good relationship naturally has good communication. When couples are first “in love” they have great communication. Bad communication is a symptom of a relationship problem.

Marriages don’t change because people talk; they change because people change and thus become closer. So talk about things that will make you connect more. Problems get dissolved when the connection between husband and wife improves. The main point is this:

Trouble in marriage means a lack of connection. If you want to make things better, established a better connection.

The more effort you put into improving your relationship, the stronger your marriage becomes. Sometimes all this means is spending more time together. It can be as simple as making sure you spend time every day sharing your mind with one another (sharing one’s mind in confidence is one of the loving exchanges). Tip the balance too much in favor of things that minimize time together and your marriage drops in priority (occasionally this could even mean time spent in seva, with friends, or with the kids).

Becoming the right person
Succeeding in marriage is less about finding the right person and more about becoming the right person. Why? Because you affect those around you.

A man once came to a town and asked the local sage, “I’m thinking about moving here. What kinds of people live here?” The sage asked the man, “What kinds of people live in the town you came from?”

“Where I’m from the people are liars, cheaters, and mean spirited,” the man responded.

“The people are the same here,” said the sage.

Then another man came to town and asked the sage the same question. The sage asked the man, “What kinds of people live in the town you came from?”

“Where I’m from the people are wonderful, kind, and courteous,” the man responded.

“The people are the same here,” said the sage.

The point is this:

We are not just an objective observer of the people in our life; we’re a subjective influence on them.

In other words, our presence changes people and thus changes what we observe. Your relationship is not simply a function of who you pick; it’s also a function of who you are.

Would your spouse be a better or happier person married to someone else? It is painful to admit this could be true.

Okay, your spouse may be contributing to bad dynamics. But you play a role as well. I’ve never seen a marital situation caused only by one spouse. What can you do to improve the situation?

Even if your spouse had an affair, you’re partly responsible. What was your spouse seeking outside your marriage that was not available within it?

Don’t just sit there waiting for your spouse to change. If you want your situation to change, then change it! Do your part. Because if you change, then everything around you changes too. And you’ve got to make the right changes. Like a scientist, you have to know what changes to make to get the outcome you’re looking for.

One of the easiest ways to know what changes to make, and probably the most overlooked, is simply to ask your spouse how to be a better partner.

It only takes one person to change a marriage
One person can change a marriage. If you have two chemicals and mix them, you get a third. If you want a different result, you only have to change one chemical.

The point is this:

If you change, you will get different results in your marriage.

A family is a system. There are interlocking parts that affect one another. Of course, it is better if both partners are involved in improving the marriage, but you still can make a difference. A marriage needs a leader. If you don’t feel like doing anything to improve the relationship until your spouse is also willing to improve, then nothing may happen.

Don’t give up.Work on yourself. Do what you can to improve the marriage. When a broken bone heals it becomes stronger than it was before it was broken. So if your marriage is in trouble (or even gets in trouble) it can become stronger than before things broke down between you.

Quick Fixes
When a person learns that their husband or wife doesn’t “love” them anymore, they usually try to find a fix for their problem. The same is true for couples trying to resolve serious differences before it’s too late.

Many people go online and search for THE answer. But finding a solution to your marriage problems is not like finding a solution to a financial problem. You can’t just click, get a loan, and have an instant solution.

Today people are into quick fixes. But you can’t “microwave” a relationship. Relationships work according to the law of the harvest. In the spring time you plant. Then you water and fertilize all summer long. And, of course, you wait. Then you harvest the crop.

Relationships are similar. They take time to grow and improve. But most people look for short-cuts. Today everything is about efficiency. Efficiency works with machines, business, and finances. But efficiency does not work with relationships.

Relationships, like crops, are governed by the natural laws of the universe. If you skip a step, you’ll short-circuit the process and slow yourself down. Taking time, going step-by-step is how you improve a relationship.

Once a man was desperately trying to “win back” his wife and he read an e-book which recommended THE solution: date other women in order to make his wife jealous. The idea is that this would bring his wife back to him.

But his wife left him because she wasn’t happy with him. Even if he gets her back, if he doesn’t change she’ll leave him again. So if your relationship isn’t working well, and if you don’t change in areas that will improve it, then you will have accomplished nothing in the long-term.

The point is:

The only way you can change your marriage is to change yourself. You’ve got to become the man or woman that your spouse would want to be married to.

You have to learn what your spouse wants in a marriage. And you need to learn how to implement relationship habits so that you can offer them what they want consistently.

Words can break the heart
Kids in the US have a nursery rhyme that goes like this: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”But the fact is the words do hurt.Words do more damage than breaking bones; they break hearts.

In frustration or anger people say stupid things and use obscene language. Even if you or your spouse didn’t mean to say it, once it’s said, the damage is done. That’s why it’s so important for spouses to learn to control themselves and watch what they say.

The point is this:

The most common request married couples have is that they just want their spouse to be nice to them.

Can we not learn to be nice to the very person we vowed to serve and protect? It sounds simple but it is often a challenge. Of course, a devotee is meant not only to be nice to his family, but he or she is meant to be nice to everyone. And more than nice, we are meant to be compassionate. Isn’t it is an irony that we are sometimes challenged to speak nicely to our spouses?

We need to learn how to:

• Express our feelings in a healthy way.

• Say what’s on our mind without destroying our spouse.

• Understand what it means to be honest with our spouse?

• Control destructive impulses.

• Listen so your spouse will talk.

• Talk so your spouse will listen.

You can be right or you can be happy
In a courtroom, a hospital, or an office, right and wrong determine success or failure. The decision to prescribe the right medicine, for example, could be the difference between life and death. The relationship between the doctor and the patient is secondary. Being right is what matters and what is rewarded.

But in marriage, being right has no value. All that matters is the relationship. Sometimes you have to choose whether you want to be right or you want to be happily married!

Just because you’re right/wrong paradigm works at the office doesn’t mean you should bring it home. “He who is a hammer thinks everything is a nail.” Some things work perfectly in one area of life and fail terribly in another. In marriage, you have to be like a carpenter and know which tool to use. The right/wrong mode is the wrong tool to use in your marriage.

The point is:

The more you insist on being right, the more you will be miserable in your marriage. Don’t go for right; go for relationship.

IQ is a measure of your intellectual intelligence. The higher your IQ, the better your ability to process information and determine what’s “right.” EQ is a measure of your emotional intelligence. The higher your EQ, the better your ability to connect with people and succeed in relationships. Just as some athletes are strong but not fast, many people have a high IQ but a low EQ. In fact, a high IQ coupled with a low EQ can be a disastrous combination for a marriage.

Anyone can increase their EQ and learn to make their marriage right. So remember, the most important thing is the relationship. And if you have a good relationship, then you are right.

Patience
Do you know what happens after you plant the seed of a Chinese bamboo tree?Nothing. For four years you get nothing other than a tiny shoot coming out of a bulb.

But what’s happening is that underneath the ground there’s a massive root structure that’s forming. Then, in the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree grows and grows, sometimes growing up to eighty eighty feet tall!

Marriages sometimes grow like Chinese bamboo trees. You try and try to be kind by giving gifts, being gentle, or sharing a joke, yet sometimes it takes months, even years before you see the growth. But all the while you’re making deposits into a secret account that all of a sudden (that’s the way it seems, but, in fact, my point is that it’s not all of sudden) begins paying dividends.

It takes maturity to be patient.

The point is:

It takes maturity to be willing to give your spouse the time they need to grow – and to see that time as an opportunity for you to grow too.

What you feel and what you do
You need to distinguish between what you feel and what you do. Unfortunately people who feel bad also act bad. However, you can feel hurt but choose to behave in a loving productive way. So don’t fall victim to your feelings. Align you actions with your values and goals, not with your feelings and impulses. The point is:

The outcome of your marriage will be an outcome of your actions, not your feelings.

You bring conditioning into your marriage from childhood, and many of these conditioned behaviors make marriage difficult. Don’t say “This is what I am like and I can’t change.” When we say, “A leopard can’t change his spots,” we are saying we are animals. We are different than animals. We can choose to behave differently.

Personality versus character

“The difficultly with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but we must live with a character.” – Peter Devries

Your “personality” is how people experience you. It’s your public persona. Character is who you are when no one is watching.

When you and your spouse met, you met each other’s personalities. You showed your spouse – and you were shown by your spouse – your public personas. It is just how you display yourself to others.

But marriage is in too close quarters for anyone to sustain a public persona. Personalities eventually give way to a self that gets revealed for the first time. And there you each stand, naked as if no one is watching. And that’s when you meet a different self for the first time!

You and your spouse don’t meet the person who charmed each other’s friends, bought gifts for each other’s parents, and always smiled from ear to ear. No, this time it’s a meeting of your characters. In many cases, it’s not only that you’re meeting each other for the first time, but it’s that you’re meeting yourselves for the first time.

The reason so many people fail at marriage and an attempt at marriage renewal is not that they don’t like their spouse. It’s that they don’t like themselves. The point is this:

While everyone else in our life is like a mirror reflecting our personality, our spouse is a mirror reflecting our character.

And many people don’t like what they see!

Many people would rather choose to be with someone else rather than remain with their spouse and have to continue to be with themselves. (Did you get that?)

Balthasar Gracian wrote in his 17th century manual on success, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, as follows: “You are as much a real person as you are deep. As with the depths of a diamond, the interior is twice as important as the surface. There are people who are all facade, like a house left unfinished when the funds run out. They have the entrance of a palace but the inner rooms of a cottage.”

Marriage renewal and individual character development go hand-in-hand.

You decide
Freud documented the impact that heredity and upbringing have on a person’s fate. We learn patters early-on that play out over and over while we remain oblivious to how they control (and possibly destroy) our lives. But does that mean the destiny of your marriage was determined years ago?

There is no doubt that you have deeply rooted relationship instincts. But those instincts don’t have to control you. Your past constantly vies for control of your future, but you have a choice whether or not you allow your past to control your future.

Your control takes place in the present. You can decide how to act. You can decide how to act rather than be a victim to your past. After all, karma is a result of your past actions. Even what we do a minute ago affects us right now. Every effect has a cause.

This point is that you can consciously reject what you know doesn’t work and then replace old habits with new ways of behaving.

The point is:

Most people are more comfortable doing what’s familiar, even though destructive, than doing what’s unfamiliar although constructive. As crazy as it sounds, most people prefer doing what they know doesn’t work rather than breaking out of old patters to do something different that would work better.

We need to become a “transition person.” A transition person is someone who breaks free from unhealthy relationship patterns that have been in their family for generations. You are by no means a product solely of your heredity or environment. There is a third element: your decision. And that is how you deal with your past.

By the way, marriage education means to educate someone to acquire the ability to choose their behavior.

A successful marriage is not something that just happens; you have to craft it. It’s a result of deliberate and conscious decisions to make your relationship work well.

Respect
What actions of yours demonstrate respect to your spouse? What actions of yours undermine respect?

Relationships are based on and nurtured by respect. Anger, yelling, criticism, sarcasm, inappropriate language, put downs, irreverence, not listening well, self-centeredness, not keeping promises – what to speak of physical abuse – all show disrespect. The point is:

Be aware of how you may be disrespecting your spouse and do more things to honor and respect him or her.

Relationships have an emotional bank account. Positive actions are like deposits. Negative actions are like withdrawals. However, it takes five positive actions to compensate for one negative action. If you keep making withdrawals, your relationship will be bankrupt.

Is your marriage rich or is your marriage on the verge of bankruptcy? You can make it richer with more deposits and less withdrawals.

Appreciation
Do you notice the beat of your heart? Nobody really does. And something that doesn’t get your attention doesn’t get your appreciation. What stirs gratitude within us is when something uncommon or infrequent is done for us. If a friend invites you over for a meal, you thank them many times. If your wife cooks for you every day, you probably take it for granted. So the more you get something, the more you expect it – and the less likely you are to appreciate it.

This is one of the great challenges of building a lasting marriage. We crave appreciation. The point is:

A successful relationship depends upon appreciation.

People can’t live fulfilling lives without it. But the longer we’re married, the less likely we are to appreciate our spouse. So we need to be aware of this natural tendency and be proactive about not letting it happen.

There’s no easy way to fill your marriage with appreciation. It may not always come naturally. You have to make it a conscious discipline. Before the day is over, make sure you say at least one word of appreciation to your spouse. And do this every day.

Expressing feelings
Sometimes openly and honestly expressing your feelings can be very hurtful to your spouse. You might feel that it is important to be honest about your feelings, but if honestly expressing your feelings is hurtful to the other person, then it will damage the relationship, and thus is inappropriate.

The main point is (explained in the Gita thusly):

Austerity of speech consists in speaking words that are truthful, pleasing, beneficial, and not agitating to others, and also in regularly reciting Vedic literature. (BG 17.15)

Focus on the positive/solutions rather than on the problems
Don’t focus on the difficulties or problems in your marriage; focus on what you can do to make your marriage better. By doing this, many (or all) of the negatives will vanish. Once you make your marriage better, you will be able to more easily and successfully deal with any remaining negatives.

Focus on action. Focusing on listening and discussing problems rather than doing things to make the marriage better doesn’t work. Although this may help you have a better understanding of each other’s point of view, what you actually need is an action plan to improve your marriage.

Talking about the problems in a marriage can actually make the problems worse. This could lead to arguments and bad will.

The real point is this:

You will never talk yourself out of a problem that you behaved yourself into.

Marriages change because people change. Say little; do much. Speak in a vocabulary of your actions. New choices resolve marital problems; discussions don’t. Solving problems does create more affection; creating more affection solves problems.

Your needs
You should not be upset because you spouse doesn’t know your needs. You may have to communicate your needs to them. Don’t be unhappy that they are not always aware of your needs. Be happy if they respond to the needs you tell them you have.

The point is this:

Don’t expect your spouse to be a mind reader.

Yes, we should try to feel what our spouse needs, but we shouldn’t have that expectation of them for ourselves. We should communicate our needs to them.

Keep your problems private
One of the most important values in a marriage is privacy. Therefore, it’s a mistake to talk about your marriage or your spouse to family or friends. It’s a violation of your spouse’s privacy and it is wrong.

We like to talk to their friends about their problems. Sometimes we need to talk about our problems. But it is not right to reveal your marital problems to your friends, even if you think you need them to help you solve such problems. The point is:

It is unfair to your spouse to reveal your personal problems with him or her to your friends or family unless you have their permission.

If problems are serious they can be addressed by professionals.

Don’t ignore the problem, face it
If you are having any difficulty in your marriage that needs fixing, there are basically two ways to deal with it: you can either ignore it or focus on it.

People who run from their problems seek relief, but end up in pain. People who face their issues experience pain, but end up relieved. A problem doesn’t go away because you run from it; it gets worse.

It is important to realize that we get exactly the problems we need in our life to fix the things about ourselves that need fixing. In other words, problems in marriage are not coincidental; they are a sign that you have a weakness that needs work. If you ignore it, the pain will increase until you finally say, “Okay, I’ll deal with this.”

The point is:

The worst suffering occurs when you run from your suffering. The worst pain comes from avoidance. The healing magic is attention. The only way out of your suffering is through it.

The problems in your life are like fingers pointing toward answers to your most crucial questions. They are transformations trying to happen. They’re birth pains. Let it come! It’ll hurt, but that hurt is a path to your healing.

There’s an ancient Chinese proverb that says: “The gem cannot be polished without friction; nor man perfected without trials.”

Quarrels
If you had to pick one thing that would best predict a marriage headed for trouble, what would you pick?You might say “conflict.” If you fight a lot, then that’s not a good sign, right?

Wrong. The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.

The point is this:

A couple who runs from conflict is at the greatest risk of having a bad marriage because they are not talking about what bothers them.

The closer you are to someone the more likely it is that you step on each other’s toes. If you express your upset it is actually a sign of hope because it means you want to improve the relationship. Apathy, on the other hand, is cause for great concern because it means you are not trying to make things better.

I am not saying fighting is healthy. I am saying people in healthy marriages talk about differences. So if you want to be happily married, you have to learn to “argue” in ways that produce positive results.

Successful couples know how to discuss their differences. This is not something that comes naturally to most people, so most of us have to learn this skill. And once you learn it, the energy that goes into your quarrels will propel your relationship forward.

Every successful couple has areas of disagreement. No two people are perfectly compatible. You’ll have differences with anyone you pick. The question is whether or not you can learn to discuss and deal well with those differences, negotiate solutions well, and keeping moving forward despite differences.

Thoughts on infidelity
Many victims of infidelity (and other emotional hardships) feel like leaving their spouse.

However, sometimes this cheating spouse transforms him or herself after getting the “I want a divorce” wake up call from their spouse. This makes them less likely to make the same mistake again. In other words, once a spouse learns their lesson, they’re less likely to make this mistake than someone who’s never erred in that way before.

About 25 percent of women and nearly 50 percent of men cheat on their spouses. Thus, this often means that if one divorces a spouse who cheated on them, and then remarries, there is more of a chance the new partner will cheat on them than the repentant former partner.

The point is this:

A partner who is remorseful and has truly transformed is unlikely to commit the same mistake again.

Here lies an unfortunate irony. People wait years and years for their spouse to wake up and change their ways. Then when they finally do it, they’re told it’s too late.

It’s often the people who have made serious mistakes, people who have had the harshest wake up calls, who become the best spouses and are capable of forging the best relationships.

Do you see the irony here?

The mistakes that ruin relationships are those that transform the culprits into people capable of the most outstanding relationships. The unfortunate thing for victims is that often they don’t know how to heal from the hurt that would enable them to reap the benefit of their ordeal.

So the roles become reversed. The person who was ruining the relationship stands ready to transform it, while the person who wanted to work on the relationship all along becomes the cog in the wheel that inhibits it.

So think before giving up on a spouse who was unfaithful.

How To Get Over Past Hurt?
How do you get over past hurt? After all, you can’t change what happened in the past. Actually, to forgive someone you have to be able to give up all hope that things could have been different.

You need to live your life from today forward. If not, the past will determine your future. Unresolved issues of resentment will play havoc in relationships. Many of the future difficulties you encounter with your spouse will be precipitated by today’s unresolved resentment.

The point is this:

Without forgiveness, no relationship will be fully healthy.

So how do you get over the past? Well, the past is already over! Rather than dwelling on the past we should thank God it’s over.

Let’s move forward with a forgiving heart and live with the thought that today is the first day of the rest of our life. The past will only affect us to the degree we allow it to.

Is the right person, the right person?
Having found the “right person,” the one you are most compatible with, you will shortly see they have another side which we will call “another person.” “Another person” is the part of your spouse that you don’t like. But what’s important here is to know that you did get the “right person,” and every right person comes along with “another person” you didn’t meet when getting to know them (or you met them but pretended you didn’t see this side of them). So, since you are happy to be married to the “right person,” be happy that you have the “right person,” even though you are also married to “another person.” This is simply the price you must pay to be married to the “right person.” Everyone has to also marry “another person” but at least you got the “right person” also.

No two people are perfect for each other, and when couples meet the “other person,” they become frustrated with their marriage and their spouse. The key is not to divorce, but to know what to do when you meet the “other person.”

Guess what? You are not the only one who will meet the “other person.” Your spouse will also meet “another person.” So are we going to have two people with two good reasons to separate or divorce, or are we going to have two people who admit that we may not be “perfect” – or even that perfect for one another – but we going to accept, respect, honor and show affection to one another, no matter what. We are going to act lovingly towards one another.

And you did marry the “right person.” The “right person is still there, even if sometimes accompanied by the “other person.” So appreciate that you still have the “right person,” and think about what you like about the “right person.”

A few words on compatibility
Do “compatible” couples always have good marriages? No. Do “incompatible” couples always have bad marriages? No.Should we look for a “compatible” spouse? Yes.

Actually, compatibility is not the objective of marriage. Having a good relationship is the objective. You can be very compatible and have very little relationship. After all, do you have deep relationships with everyone you are compatible with? So many couples work on being more compatible when they should be working on having a better relationship. Working on being more compatible is different from developing an affectionate relationship. After all, everyone wants to love and be loved. Our deepest need is not to be compatible, it is to love. So improving compatibility doesn’t necessarily produce affection and a closer relationship; it just produces more compatibility.

So what does this mean? It means that no matter what, you need to work on creating a better relationship, not more compatibility. Don’t think that if you just “get along” you have a successful marriage. “Prabhu, we are doing well. My wife hasn’t thrown a pot at me for six months! This is not the assessment of a good marriage. Assess the relationship.

The point is this:

You can get along, you can be compatible, and have a bad relationship.

And you are going to change over time. Your compatibility at twenty-five is going to change at fifty. When it does, if you base your marriage on compatibility, rather than on the relationship, you are going to run into trouble. Is your marriage insulated from the possible disastrous effects caused by character changes in you or your spouse.

Good marriages are good primarily because they give importance to the relationship, not to the compatibility.

A good example of this my friendships with those who have left Iskcon to join or start other movements. Their leaving Iskcon is a compatibility issue. But the fact that we were close friends at one time, that we like one another, that we can still inspire one another now, keeps the relationship strong and alive, despite the so called compatibility issues.

If you marriage is based on compatibility, you are probably sitting on a time bomb. Things change in this world, both you and situations. How will deal with these changes? Not well, if you base your marriage on compatibility. But if it based on the relationship, you will weather storms well together.

Accepting as is

Another aspect of relationship development is acceptance. Your spouse has a certain personality, certain nature, and certain idiosyncrasies, some of which may change over time for the better or for the worse, and some that will never change. You will find many “weird” things about your spouse over the years. (I am referring to common character flaws, not physical or verbal violence, sexual abuse, continual cheating, etc.).

If you allow these weird traits to bother you, and you will be often disturbed with your spouse. And this is toxic to your relationship – and to yourself. If you accept this is just how he or she is, then those things will tend to bother you less, or not at all, Accepting what you can’t change is a fundamental tenet of Krishna consciousness. The more we adopt this practice, the better.

For example, your spouse might not be attentive to details, or tend to forget things you ask them to do. So how do you deal with this? Either don’t ask them to do something important, of if you do, check up on them to make sure they haven’t forgotten and understand exactly what to do and how to do it. Instead of getting frustrated when they forget to do something, thinking, “Why is he always so unreliable,” accept that this is just how God made him and love him for what you find admirable in him in spite of these flaws.

It is about “we,” not “me”
Conflicts can be easily resolved, or prevented, when you think in terms of “we” rather than “me.” If you think in terms of what is best for the relationship, what is best for the “team,” then disagreements become agreements because both of you are on the same side; you want what is best for the team, not what is best for one or the other.

For example, if your wife says “I need you home from work earlier,” rather than argue that you can’t get home earlier, you could say, “Let’s brainstorm how we can do this.” You say this even though you are not sure how this can happen since you cannot possibly finish your work before 7 pm. But now you are on the same page trying to solve the problem together rather than arguing that it is not possible to come home earlier.

What might come out of this discussion is that you could come earlier, take dinner with the family, and then after the kids go to bed, do the work you didn’t finish at the office. Although your wife might normally be upset when you work at home, because you worked on the decision together she accepts that for you to be home by 6 pm, you will need to put in extra work at home.

And, on your own you might have never come up with this idea, or if you did, it might have been difficult to negotiate being able to work at home because in the past your wife insisted that you don’t bring any work home.

Another aspect of “we” is to take interest in and be supportive of things your spouse does that you don’t have much personal interest in. Sometimes this might mean taking part in what your spouse does, being there while he or she does it, or supporting them in this. The point is that it is all too easy to become roommates and have two separate lives.

Of course, it is also great if you both have several similar interests. If so, capitalize on these by doing these together. Relationships tend to improve the more you do more things together and degrade the more you live in your own worlds.

The bottom line is that when you get married your life must go from “me” to “we.” You won’t always get your way, but your relationship will be good, and you will ultimately be happier because of it.

What if your spouse has a problem? Tackle the problem together. Support him in his struggle, rather than condemn him for it. Find resources to help him. Encourage him. Talk to him about the problem. His chances of succeeding are much greater if you do it together. If you turn against him for his behavior, hold a grudge, or are angry with him, etc., it won’t help him improve.

If you are going to love your spouse, you need to love the whole person, the good and the bad. As mentioned in the section on compatibility, it is okay that you don’t to like your spouse’s flaws, but accepting them and loving them in spite of these flaws is what creates relationship. Trying to change their flaws is not what helps the relationship. If they change so you are more compatibility, then you have more compatibility, but not necessarily a better relationship. When you work together to help your partner overcome a problem or a weakness, this creates relationship.

Being a good parent
If you have kids you are probably trying your best to be a good parent. You send your kids to the best schools, help them with their homework, work hard to save for their college education, take them to the best doctors, plan special birthday parties, drive them to practice, and make their favorite meals. But there is something else you can do that is vitally important: that is to have a great marriage.

It’s hard to be a good parent unless you have a good marriage. That’s because you teach your children how to succeed in relationships by your own example. The point is:

Your children won’t learn about marriage from what you say as much as from what you do.

One of the most important things in your children’s life is to have a successful marriage. They’ll learn it from your marriage.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

There’s nothing more devastating to a young person than to be the victim of a broken family. If your children don’t see affection between you and your spouse, where will they learn it. But if they witness a good relationship between you and your spouse, you give them one of the greatest gifts you can offer, an example of a great relationship.

To be a good parent you must do everything you can to succeed in your marriage.

When you want to marry
One ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. In other words, choosing the right partner can save you from pounds of cure having to go into your marriage. Always be aware that maya may choose someone for you, exactly the wrong person.

The point to understand is:

Just because you like the way a person looks, walks and talks, doesn’t mean you should marry them. Just because you feel good around the person doesn’t mean you they are the right person for you.

And even though he or she is a “good devotee,” it doesn’t necessarily mean you will get along well.

Choosing a spouse needs to be done dispassionately, not passionately. Choosing a life-long partner requires many things other than chemistry. It is best to have a list of the qualities and nature of a person that you believe would make an ideal partner so in the event that you start becoming attracted to someone, you will be more able to objectively determine if this is the right person for you. Statistics tell us that arranged marriages (i.e. arranged with the right person) are not as happy as “love’ marriages in the beginning, but after five years couples in arranged marriages are much happier than those in a love marriage. Why? Because the relationship was based more on compatibility than physical attraction.

So do whatever you can to find the right person. Once you have found them, do pre-marital counseling to both confirm that you found the right person and that your are on the same page regarding your goals, values, and aspirations.

All this work is the “ounce of prevention” that can prevent a serious disease from destroying your marriage. It is a great accomplishment, and a great service to Srila Prabhupada, to stay happily married to one person throughout your life. Do everything before marriage to ensure this will happen.

Addendum

Differences Between Men and Women
Based on talks by Bhakti Vidya Purna Swami

It is about the relationship
Relationships are the reason anyone does anything in their life; and the central point of a relationship is the interaction. We want experience from the relationship, and so we create environments that enable good experiences. But the experience comes from the interaction, not from the environment. For example, a house creates an environment in which relationship can be expressed, but buying a house doesn’t create an experience. Yet, people believe if they have things it will create the experience. But if you don’t interact well, or avoid interaction, you can’t create a good marriage just through external arrangements because we are only satisfied when connected to others.

Whatever you get, good or bad, you get from another person. So you need to learn how to live well with others. Since you are going to live together, you need to figure out how to make it work. Many people don’t understand how to have a good relationship with the opposite sex, and this is why most do not succeed.

Appropriate Behavior
In dealing with the opposite sex, you need to know what is appropriate behavior, and also the appropriate time for that behavior. It is different than dealing with the same sex. The rules are different.

For example, you don’t make noise at midnight because you will wake everyone up. But at another time, earlier in the evening, when people want you there to have fun, making noise might be appropriate So be aware of the environment and what mood is appropriate in each situation. You must know what actions will produce desired results. If you do the wrong process, you get the wrong result. If you fix a tire on your car, you won’t get lunch. You have to make the lunch. So when we don’t get the result we want, don’t blame it on the other person.

It is about them, not about me
The relationship is not about you. It must go out to the other person. If you do this, the other person will reciprocate. Do not expect the other person to come forward first before you respond. This is how God works. He will love you no matter what. This works for God, not for us.

There is such a difference between men and women that it can become difficult to relate. When you put a man and woman together, they feel happy if they like one another. So they think because they are happy, everything will be good forever. But things change, feelings change, and if they don’t know what is happening and how to deal with it, there will be problems.

Male/female differences

Adjust accordingly
Masculine is active, like a hammer. Female is passive, like nails. So there must be a proper interaction between the two to get results. With material things it is easy to understand how you get results; you just hammer the nails in the wood. This is obvious and simple. There is a process to get something done.

Dealing with relationships is different. People may not know how to get things done but not know how to make relationships work well. Replace the potato with a person and it becomes much more complicated. Why? Because people have feelings, and we think they should feel like we feel. But if the relationship is not going well, it means you don’t know how to act. It as your fault.

A man may be good at golf, and if he hits the ball into the bushes he knows it is his fault. But at home he is unaware of his wife’s mood and blames problems on her. Balls don’t have feelings, so it is easy to understand that you made a mistake and hit the ball in the wrong way. But it is different with people. You think they should be this way or that way, but they are not.

So a man has to be aware of a woman’s mood and deal with it accordingly. For example, you change the way you drive when the road is icy. You change to accommodate the situation, even if you wish you didn’t have to do this, in order to get the results you want. I the stock market changes, you adjust your strategy. Similarly, do the same thing with another person when their mood changes.

As long as you know the goal, then you can adjust in order to achieve the goal. If you are not achieving the desired results, change what you are doing. If your spouse don’t respond well, find another way of acting to get the response you want. And if your spouse won’t initiate action, then take the first step.

Men are independent, woman are dependent
Men are independent by nature, and can function well on their own (if they are well trained). But when they deal with women they can’t be independent. They have to deal with women according to the women’s needs, because women are dependent.

Many men don’t know this, or are unwilling to acknowledge this is the way it is. This is what it means to be a man. Otherwise they will stay as big kids, and expect their wife to be like their mom and take care of them. If they are really independent men, they won’t be like this. If not, the wife won’t be happy because he’ll want her to be like his mother ( except he’ll want to have sex with her.) Then the husband becomes like one of the kids in the family because he never learned (or doesn’t want to be) independent.

He many have grown up very self-centered. Men need to learn to please and cooperate with others. If he wasn’t trained like this, it can be difficult for him to take care of a family – and he may not even know how to cooperate with other men.

What makes you a man
Conquering an empire is mechanics. Peacefully living with a woman is more than just mechanics. It takes huge efforts. A good man performs action according to the needs of the woman. What makes you a man is that you perform an action to fulfill the needs of a woman.

The male is the subject and the women the object. The man performs the action according to what the woman wants. That makes him a man. Woman are not satisfied with men who act like a women, thinking only about his needs. If he thinks of her needs then automatically she will think of his needs. Doing this makes a woman feel comfortable and secure in their identity.

It is about feeling
Women need situations which will give rise to the emotions she wants to taste, and these situations should be provided by the men. Situations are the external environment that produces the emotions.

Men like to get things done; women like to experience. If a machine can do the work, a man is happy. But the machine is important for women in that it generates the experience they want from what the machine creates. It is said the man wants to drive fast to get the destination and the woman wants to enjoy the ride and time with the husband.

Women are about aesthetics. If the curtains look good it makes them feel good. But the man is focused on just getting the curtains hung.

Women are about relationships
The woman wants the man to interact with her. She is more relationship oriented than he. But he is often happy just dealing with matter, moving things around or just accomplishing something. But the woman wants it done to generate an experience.

For example, if a man gets a pen from a friend, even if the relationship breaks down, the man will still use the pen. But the women won’t use the pen because it doesn’t generate a positive experience. She might even throw it away.

Women are looking for experience in the process and in the result. Man wants results and they will put up with anything to get the results. The women wants experience during the process.

The man may say the right words, but have the wrong mood, so she gets upsets. He focuses on what is right externally, not on the mood. She is more about the mood.

Women are about variety; men are more consistent. But women want consistent men who have variety. So if a man thinks the woman is boring, it probably means he is boring.

Conquering an empire is mechanics; it is fairly straightforward . Peacefully living with a woman is more complex. This means a good man performs action according to the needs of the woman. What makes him a man is that he performs actions that fulfill the needs of a woman.

Self confidence
A dog is confident when he is with his master. A street dog is not powerful. Similarly, a woman with a good man will be self confident.

Women’s qualities are not all positive from a man’s perspective. But he has to go along with the perceived negatives. A man should never be angry or chastise a woman when she is upset or in difficulty. When she is angry he should take a humble position.

What is feminine
Feminine is, “I am the controller and whatever I feel is fine.” When a man acts this way, he is being feminine. Masculine is to go along with the mood of the woman. Unless you are submissive to women, they won’t be submissive to you. Unless you respect them, they won’t respect you.

A dog is confident when he is with his master. A street dog is not powerful. Similarly, a woman with a good man will be self confident; without a good man, she won’t be powerful.

Man must go along.
Women’s qualities are not all positive from a man’s perspective. But he has to go along with the perceived negative. A man should never be angry or chastise a woman when she is upset or in difficulty. When she is angry, he should take a humble position.

Women act differently in the same situations on different days. So a man must deal with this. He must “give in.” When a man “gives in” it means he cares. This makes a woman confident and thus she can perform her duties nicely. A man can generally do this more easily than a woman.

Women Is Always Right
The women’s ego is such that it is usually more difficult for them to admit they are wrong than it is for a man. So men need to be sensitive to this.

Spoil Them
Women want to be spoiled. This shows them that you care for them. Then they will feel secure and will be at their best. In other words, men should adjust around women’s mood and nature.

What is Masculine
Masculine means to deal properly with a woman, even when you feel they are unreasonable. Give them shelter when they are unreasonable and crazy. Don’t become upset with them.

Keep Woman Happy
If the woman is happy, the house if bright. If the woman is unhappy, the house is dark. Don’t do things that bother her.

The Man is In Charge
An expert wife is one who will make the man feel in charge. In charge for the man means to do all of the above.

Don’t Listen of Other Men
Don’t listen to other men about how they deal with their wives and try to apply it exactly to your wife. You can evaluate the principle, and if it makes sense understand that the details may not work for your wife the way it worked for his wife.

Women are More Clever
Women have more practical intelligence than men, but less theoretical intelligence. They are clever in getting things done. They manipulate material energy four times better than men. Women appreciate nice things six times more than men; they appreciate food, clothes, home, etc. six times more than men.

Woman’s Nature
Woman’s nature is not a fault; it is just what it is. A lemon is sour. It is not a fault; it is just the way it is. So to use it to make it work with food you have to know how to do it.

Use the Thorn to Take Out the Thorn
You use family life to take out the attachment to family life.

Women are Dependent
Women are dependent on things for their satisfaction. They need the proper environment, actions etc. or they won’t be happy. The man can be satisfied without the proper environment. This is uniqueness of these two natures.

Real Men Should be Considerate
Women just want men who are considerate. If there is a program, make sure the women get the ride home and if there isn’t room for all the men, let them walk of take the bus.

Don’t Use Who You Are in Relationships
You may be the prime minister, but you need to deal with others how they see you. So you deal with your mother as mother, wife as wife, etc, not as prime minister.

November 28. ISKCON 50 – S.Prabhupada Daily Meditations.
He walked up on the stage and introduced himself to the people and tried to get them to come forward. He said, “Come forward, come forward.” A few of them came up to the front. There were mixed couples, many Indians, male and female, mostly middle-aged and some college aged, a lot of professor-types and ladies were there. Then he began his speech. He dove right into it. He just started exclaiming, proclaiming, the greatness of the Creator and that the most important thing is to remember the Creator and remember God. He began to expand on God consciousness, what God consciousness is and how God is everywhere and how it behooves us all to remember God – no matter what we call Him, what names we call Him by, but that we should call Him. He gave a demonstration which was very moving. He chanted Hare Kr.s.n.a, Hare Ra-ma and spoke about the power and saving grace in the mantra. He took a little break about halfway through and had some water.
Read the entire article here: http://www.dandavats.com/?p=20490&page=2

Hare Krishna.
We have an immediate vacancy for a suitably qualified teacher for our lovely class of eighteen 9 and 10 year old students. All of our children are from devotee families and are intelligent and will behaved. The teacher is unable to come due to a sudden health crisis, so we are looking for a devotee who can come for 6 months (until the first week of June). The service can be made longer for a suitable person.

The requirements for the position are : teaching degree/ successful teaching experience with Primary school aged children, ability to give a reference from previous school taught in and CPO check.

Sri Mayapur International School offers academic and Krishna conscious education. We can offer the teacher 15,000 Rs per month allowance, accommodation, medical insurance and free lunch prasad during term time. Most importantly ,we offer the unique chance to work with devotee children in the holy dham. As H.H Jayapataka Maharaja told our students , when he visited last week ” You are all studying in the dust of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu!”

If you wish to know more about the school ,please visit our website www.mayapurschool.com or Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/srimayapurinternationalschool/?ref=ts&fref=ts

Should you wish to apply for this service,please email the Principal gunacuda@yahoo.com

"GOD CONSCIOUSNESS"

About HG Kratu Prabhu
Kratu Prabhu was born in aristocratic Gujarati Gaudiya Vaishnava family on July 5, 1944.
His first exposure to ISKCON happened in 1970, at St. Louis. He later joined full-time in 1974, in Toronto. He met his Guru, His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada in 1976, from whom he received a direct order for preaching Krishna consciousness. He and his wife were initiated by Srila Prabhupada in 1977 in Toronto, Canada.

While in West, he worked as professional engineer for five years in Toronto In Chicago he worked for Chicago temple as director of congregational preaching. He then became temple President of Vancouver temple in 1987. In 1993, he moved to Baroda, Gujarat and conducted college and school preaching. He also started a book distribution program by Bullock Cart for every town and village. In 1997, he became temple President of ISKCON, Delhi and continued house and pandal preaching programs.

In 2002, he became an initiating spiritual master in ISKCON and is ever since vigorously travelling and preaching all over the world and regularly visiting USA, Canada, UK, Europe and continuously preaching in India, conducting pandal programs, educational programs and devotional tours.

   
11.15 - 11.30  Guru Puja                                        
11:30 - 11:55   Aarti & Kirtan                                    
11.55 - 12.00   Sri Nrsingadeva Prayers               
12.00 -   1:00   Vedic discourse
  1:00 -   1:30   Closing Kirtan
  1.30 -   2.00   Sanctified Free Vegetarian Feast


Prabhupada Marathon(Five more weeks) 
On Sat,Nov 28,2015(1pm-3pm) at India Town Center(Dundas and Hurontario,Hwy 10)

Please contact Rasaraj Dasa 647.887.5736

“One who has life can preach, and one who preaches gets life.”(Previous Acaryas)

The Prabhupada Marathon is total bliss. Because this sankirtan movement is as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, "anandambudhi vardanam" it is an ever expanding ocean of bliss. It's an opportunity to immerse ourselves in giving Krsna to others.Srila Prabhupada once said in a lecture that when some part of our body is injured all of our attention goes to that part.Similarly we are parts of Krsna and we are injured by material desires. This gives pain to Krsna therefore He tries to solve the problem by coming Himself, by leaving His instructions and by sending His pure devotees. When we go out on sankirtan we are giving pleasure to Krsna because we're trying to relieve Him of the pain He experiences by seeing His parts and parcels suffer.So during this marathon let's try to give pleasure to Krsna by giving this mercy in the form of Prabhupada's books to as many conditioned souls as possible.
 

Podcast

Download by “right-click and save content”

The post Positive Thinking 4 – Thoughts lead to things – and are things appeared first on The Spiritual Scientist.

An interesting talk on Me, the Sweet Control Freak by Devamrita Swami on Friday 11 December 2015 from 6pm. $8 includes dinner Also a Xmas party on Sunday 13 December 2015 from 5pm. Join us for an exciting evening with Devamrita Swami $5 includes kirtan, dinner and talk by Devamrita Swami. As a world traveller […]

The post International Speaker & Xmas Party – 11 & 13 Dec ’15 appeared first on The Loft Yoga Lounge Auckland.

 

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We have published numerous posts describing Kadamba Kanana Swami’s stay in Mumbai and Vrindavan. Here are recordings of lectures and kirtans from the various programs.

To download, right-click on a title and “save-link-as” or listen online by hitting the “play” button.

 

Mumbai

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Vrindavan

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KKS_IND_01Nov2015_Vrindavan_Parikrama_Tapavan

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KKS_IND_06Nov2015_Vrindavan_Parikrama_Premasarovar_Kirtan

KKS_IND_06Nov2015_Vrindavan_Parikrama_Premasarovar_Lecture

KKS_IND_06Nov2015_Vrindavan_Parikrama_Yavat_Kirtan

KKS_IND_06Nov2015_Vrindavan_Parikrama_Yavat_Lecture

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Warming up for the December marathon of book distribution!
Srila Prabhupada Letter to Balavanta, 23rd November 1976 “I am very glad to hear how the book distribution is increasing more and more. This is our greatest weapon. The more the books are distributed, the more the ignorance of the age of Kali will be smashed. The world is feeling the weight of this Hare Krsna movement, especially in your country. We have to increase this book distribution work more and more to firmly establish this movement, which is the only hope for the suffering living entities.”

“Does God Exist?” (video)
Kishan Paun: an incredible class given by HG Bhuta Bhavana Prabhu on the topic of “Does God Exist?” at Harrow Jammin, a youth event by ISKCON Pandava Sena in London.
Watch it here: https://goo.gl/OJSrR0

Srimati Ananda Murti, a disciple of Srila Prabhupada left her body. Trai Das: Hare Krsna I want to inform all the devotees that just a while ago, today, a disciple of Srila Prabhupada her grace Anandamurti devi dasi left this world to continue her service to Srila Prabhupada. In the last year she made a pilgrimage to Mayapur then to the Prabhupada tirthas in the US and showed her love and respect for all the devotees she had contact with here in Italy. She was with her son Narayana das and Vaisnavi dasi. Please chant for them all.

November 2015 will be a month remembered in worry and fear for Muslims all over Europe, after the Paris attacks, yet again marked the tensions their religious community faces in Europe and the rest of the world. Just a week before the attacks, from Oct. 26 – Nov 2^nd, youth from all over Europe were building a network of peace and connection at the Religions for Peace Interfaith Youth Conference, in San Gandolfo Italy. 

6 km

5 km

Govindas Swansea, Wales, UK, was smashed up and ransacked on Thursday night, the 19th of November.

Burglers broke a hole in the roof to get in, then they went through the whole building, smashing up anything of value on their way, and stealing cash and valuables, which were used in the worship there.

Govinda’s is home to a vegetarian cafe, and is the local ISKCON Temple. The presiding Deities are Sri Sri Pancha Tattva. The devotees are well known and liked in the area, and have been in this location for the last 15 years, led by Tarakanath prabhu. The community of devotees is a wonderful, selfless community, and, as well as being generous of heart, also have a great sense of humour and compassion. There are regular well attended programs, Harinamas, prasadam and book distribution going on.

It is heartbreaking to think that such a wonderful group of individuals, who give so much, have been prey to such a heartless, selfish and violent act.

The break in was discovered on the Friday morning by Danda Krt prabhu, the restaurant manager, and his wife, Vraja Varuna devi dasi. The thieves had broken through the roof, smashed up the office, ripped out the safe, gone downstairs, and destroyed the till in the hope of finding some cash inside. Then, to get out, they smashed their way through the office window. The most disturbing thing for the devotees, though, was that they had been on the altar. All the Deities jewellery had been stolen, but fortunately neither the Deities nor the altar had been damaged .

This community is small, and the cost of this for them is high. With this in mind, a page has been set up where donations can be sent. The devotees are extremely grateful for any help received:

https://www.gofundme.com/GovindasSwansea

All funds will go towards repairing the roof, fixing the broken window used as an escape route, repairing many other items, and replacing the crowns and other jewellery for the Pancha Tattva Deities in the Temple.

This is a link to the local news coverage:

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/City-temple-smashed-thieves/story-28214190-detail/story.html

Thank you for your prayers and support.

On behalf of the devotees at Govinda’s Swansea,

Your servant, Devaprastha das.

By Krishna-kripa das (November 2015)

The post If you are not into gloom and doom today, don’t listen to this appeared first on SivaramaSwami.com.

The post Daily Darshan : November 27th, 2015 appeared first on Mayapur.com.

The post Daily Darshan – November 27th, 2015 appeared first on Mayapur.com.

November 27. ISKCON 50 – S.Prabhupada Daily Meditations.
We didn’t know where Swamiji came from. He was asked, “Where did you come from? Who sent you?” Bit by bit, he told of his Guru Maharaj and the tradition he represented. Nowadays we speak with confidence about Prabhupada’s background and his intentions to spread Lord Caitanya’s sankirtana movement. But in the earliest days, no one knew anything about these things. We only knew Swamiji. First came Swamiji; everything else came later. He just started singing; he explained later. You walked into the park and saw the Indian swami singing, then you waited because he would explain everything later. That was his preaching spirit, his greatness. Vaisnavas who live in India may take their enormous cultural facility for granted. Their culture accepts Hinduism, being Indian, following the Vedas, the Gods, sadhus. To be a Vaisnava in India is similar to being a Catholic priest in the West.
Read the entire article here: http://www.dandavats.com/?p=20490&page=2

I read your Gita-daily article about terrorism: Terrorism arises from ignorance, materialism and ego. Clearly, Islamic State is Islamic and Islam is the cause of the maximum terrorism in the world, Why can’t we call a spade? Why do we have to be politically correct and try to come up with roundabout explanations to avoid putting the blame where it is due?

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I read your Gita-daily article about the genesis of faith: Faith is nourished by divine revelation, saintly reiteration and personal realization. I wanted to know: Did Arjuna’s seeing the Universal Form enhance his faith?

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